Unseelie Love

CHAPTER 5 ● POINT OF VIEW • HESTIA
When I returned to my room I found my Unseelie heart’s desire on the floor bleeding profusely from the wound in his stomach. At the rate he was bleeding we would have less than an hour before his passed from this world to the next. I felt my heart grip tightly in my chest at the thought of losing him so soon. I needed more time. I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t even heard his voice yet. I lifted him gently in my arms and laid him back in my bed. Then I removed the soiled bandage and looked closely at the wound in his stomach.
The deep red blood contrasted sharply against his pale luminous skin. The wound itself was fatal. There was nothing that could repair such damage. His internal organs were basically scrambled. It was amazing that he found the strength to move at all. I did what I could to slow the bleeding in an attempt to buy us a few more hours together. I found myself gently running my fingers down the length of his silky black hair that fell mid-way down he long legs.
I heard his heart rate change and knew once again his was about to regain consciousness. Not wanting to look like the love sick animal that I was, I quickly pushed myself to my feet and flopped down in the chair at my desk. I did my best to relax and attempt to make myself look nonchalant. Then I told him very casually that his attempt to escape had been foolish and careless.
I heard him start to rustle around and I knew I needed to stop him from moving around. Even the smallest movements would increase his bleeding exponentially and thereby decrease my time with him. So I used the Inhibitor to my benefit and gave him iron orders. He was not to do a single thing that I didn’t specifically ask him to do. In this way I could be assured that he would remain still. I was desperate to finally hear my heart’s desires voice, so I ordered him to give me he name.
He voice came out rough but still sounded almost musical to my ears. ‘Jace’. I felt my heart do a tiny flip. Unseelie court members hated to give out their true name. An Unseelie court’s true name held power. Knowing their name gave you a power over them. That’s why Unseelie court always lied. They used pet names that had no real meaning. I knew with the Inhibitor wrapped around his neck that ‘Jace’ was his true name and I did indeed feel the power.
Before today, I’d never really understood what the Unseelie court meant by power, now however I felt something tangible from just saying his name in my mind. It made me want him even more. I wanted him to survive. I wanted us to have a chance to do what no other Slaugh and Jinn had done before us. I wanted to marry him and share eternity in his arms. I wanted to purr his name out loud while I loved him as a woman loved her man.
I found myself silently saying his name in my head several times. Each time I said his name my soul would tingle in pleasure and excitement. I was throbbing with desire for my Jace. I looked down at him with the intention of doing I don’t know what. In that moment I realized I was losing control of myself. Knowing Jace’s name didn’t give me power over him, it gave him power over me. I felt even more hopeless now than I had before. I blinked several times and looked directly into his pure black colorless eyes and realized his was intently staring at me. Most likely his was trying to determine if my attraction to him could be used as an advantage.
I had to keep my distance. I couldn’t shame myself anymore. In a desperate attempt to keep the truth from him, I quickly nodded at him and moved back to the table. With my back now to him I pushed the cold food around on a plate while I pulled myself back together. My Marchioness had been right. She begged me not to subject myself to the humiliation of my Unseelie court heart’s desire. She and the Marques swore that he would cast a spell on me that would make me want to turn my back on everything that made me a Jinn. They swore that with a just few hours I would be completely at his mercy. I didn’t want to believe them but it hadn’t even been that long and I knew I was already lost. If not for the Inhibitor forcing him into silence I would have done anything he asked of me.
I was tired and frustrated as several tears slip from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I wiped at them with the back of my hands and gave myself a mental berating. I was a noble Jinn of many years not a stupid animal still wet behind the years. Death is a part of life it is natural and good. I need to embrace our deaths and focus on our afterlife. There Jace and I would not be enemies we would be one soul together in peace and serenity. I took a deep breath and shook off the last vestiges of my negativity. That’s when I realized that Jace’s breathing had become strained and irregular. His heart was doing overtime and I could smell he fear.
I twisted in my chair as my eyes sought out his stomach area. I was expecting to see the white sheets were now stained red with Jace's blood. Not seeing anything on the sheets, but feeling his panic and pain rising I quickly moved back to his side and tore the bandage from he wound. I sniffed deeply and could smell the foul odor of infection. Despite that however it was still only oozing a small amount of blood. He should be in stable condition. So then why was he in so much pain? I scratched my head in confusion before I forced myself to ask him what was wrong.
I felt my heart clench in pain with each word he said. He basically told me I was smothering him to death with the Inhibitor. I was purposefully causing him mental anguish and unbearable pain by keeping him alive and with me. I was torturing the one person in the world that I was meant to love with my heart and soul. Then Jace begged me for mercy. I knew no matter how much I wanted to be with him in the here and now it just wasn’t possible.
Forcing him to die slowly while being held by an Inhibitor was selfish and cruel and unusual punishment. Not a death worthy of a warrior. Jace deserved better. I needed to be the honorable Jinn I was born to be. I was his heart’s desire and it was my responsibility to care for and love hm. I watched tears fall recklessly down his face and couldn’t stop myself from grasping his face in my hands and gently wiping them away. Then I embraced his pain and committed myself to doing the right thing for both of us.
I took my time allowing my soul to say goodbye to his. I knew I needed to feel, smell and touch him for just a few moments before I did what needed to be done. I embraced the pleasure I gained from our skin to skin contact. I allowed my soul to wrap itself around his and lull me into a false sense of peacefulness. I so desperately wanted the tranquility I knew I could only find in Jace’s arms.
Then before I could change my mind I grasped the Unseelie court blade I’d placed in my pocket earlier and poised it above Jace with the intention of ending his pain and mine. I was dumbfounded when I saw acceptance and relief wash across Jace’s face. Then he said in a voice filled with composure
"Thank you. It will be a good death for me. I promise to set your soul free. Perhaps someday in a next life both sides of our souls will find each other again. Hopefully in that life we will both be on the same side of the war. I am at peace with my maker. Goodbye and fly free my Jinn."
Then before I could stop myself I plunged the knife directly and deeply into Jace’s heart. I knew my blow was true and I also knew that it would take only seconds for his heart to cease and his soul to move from this life to the next. I watched a small yet peaceful smile cross his face as he eyes closed and his breathing and heartbeat ceased. I felt my own tears slip from my eyes as I felt my soul ignite in tormented sorrow.