The Sound of Silence

Once again, I found myself on the outside looking in.

The majority of Jami’s time was spent in private study with the Supreme Leader, now that her light saber was complete. It had taken her less than half the time it had taken me to imbue the kyber crystal with enough of her Force essence to create a formidable weapon. Snoke was uncharacteristically overjoyed. Hux was even cheerier than usual.

I paced outside of the meeting chamber, the usual time when I met Jami for training long past. A Stormtrooper admitted Jami was in with Snoke, but only after I threw it into a wall panel, denting it. The fit of rage was for show. Mostly, I was tired. Entirely, I needed Jami.

Jami gave me a feeling of peace I had never known, and to which I was now addicted. Feeling her skin against mine calmed the flames in my spirit, stoked a different kind of fire. I pushed the thoughts away as I felt the brooding presence of Hux approaching from behind.

“Surprised to see you here, Ren,” Hux quipped. “I was only aware that Obarel and I had been summoned by the Supreme Leader.”

“Do not pretend to know everything about the Supreme Leader’s will.” I growled back.

My stomach still dropped. I had no knowledge of such a meeting. Still, the door opened and Jami stood nearby, winded and sweating. Hux strode in, nodding to Jami before approaching the hologram of Snoke. Jami lingered as I walked in.

“Master Ren,” Jami panted. “I’m glad you’re here. We’re to discuss the new strategy for combating the Resistance.”

“You think I don’t know that already?” I snapped, brushing past her.

Guilt churned in my stomach. I would make up for my rudeness to her later. Jami was hot on my heels anyway, seemingly unfazed.

“My apologies, Master Ren.” Shame tainted Jami’s voice. My stomach churned harder.

My presence at meetings with Snoke was beginning to feel more and more ceremonial than like I was truly contributing. He spoke only to Jami and Hux, ignoring me almost entirely. I was only addressed when Jami would demonstrate her new, more terrifying powers. Today, Snoke was in the mood to gloat.

“Demonstrate for the General and Ren your newest technique.” Snoke ordered.

Jami bowed deeply, sweeping past me and striding to stand at the base of Snoke’s hologram. Jami nodded her head, and the doors to the chamber opened. Stormtroopers escorted a pair of civilians in, each looking disheveled and bearing the marks of a Hux interrogation. Strange. I didn’t remember hearing about any prisoners.

The Stormtroopers released the captives from their bonds, shoving them to the floor. Then, the soldiers skittered back to the room’s only exit. Their fear wafted over my senses, and behind the cover of my helm, I looked to Jami. Her face was calm and neutral as she looked over the captives: a man and a woman. Their clothes were soiled with blood and the stains of prolonged wear. Jami made no movements, apparently awaiting orders.

“You recognize them, do you not?” Snoke boomed, gesturing to the cowering couple.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Jami answered darkly.

“But they do not recognize you,” Snoke taunted. “Enlighten them.”

Jami clasped her hands in front of her, bowing her head. She continued to stare at the captives, her features darkening into a glare.

“The man,” Jami began, her voice relaxed. “Was a frequent patron of the mistress. I often was assigned to be of service to him.”

The man stiffened, eyes wide with alarm as realization dawned on him.

“A peculiar sort of man,” Jami continued, pacing slowly toward her targets. “Very strange requests. He’d requested that I answer to the name ‘Jalen’, to call him Daddy, even when he hurt me.”

Jami veered toward the woman now. As their eyes met, Jami smirked.

“And the woman,” Jami said more softly. “Madam Tocking. I had sincerely hoped you were already dead. Only part of me is disappointed you still live.”

The woman shrank away from Jami’s approaching figure, but her words were still defiant.

“You always were a bad egg, Fourteen.” The woman spat.

Jami’s nostrils flared, her hand slowly rising. The woman stiffened with a moan.

“Let’s take a peek at what you hide, now, shall we?” Jami teased, walking closer and dropped to her haunches. She cocked her head to the side, looking much like a serpent readying itself to strike. The woman shook as the tears came.

“I see them,” Jami said, her voice light and pleasant. “I see the raiders. A smuggler blaster blows away father, no, father and brother. Mother is dragged away, screaming.”

The woman was openly weeping now. Jami smiled darkly.

“Screaming for them to spare you. If only she had kept her mouth shut, they might not have found you. Very clever of you to hide in the food pantry amongst the rot. The smell must have been ghastly. But not as ghastly as the smell of that man. His sweaty palms, breath reeking.”

The woman began to bleed from her nose, and Jami released her with an irritated sigh and much reluctance.

“Who’s weak now, Madam?” Jami hissed.

Jami turned to look sharply at the man, who had been looking on in absolute horror.

“You,” Jami ordered. “Stand.”

The man grit his teeth, but stood. Jami’s eyes sparkled in dark delight. What was happening? I knew Jami could enter another’s memories, but she had always done so in a way that made one feel like they were still the ones in control. Jami had hurt that woman, and she had done it intentionally. The woman had collapsed to the ground, her sobs echoing through the hall. She was crying for her mother, screaming at an invisible assailant to release her.

Jami had trapped the woman in the memory of her childhood. Jami had the power of the Memory Walk. Jami didn’t even need to keep her focus on the woman; the deed was already done. I could feel the tendrils of the Force surrounding the woman, even more of them now extended through Jami towards the man.

Jami had begun to circle the man, whose face was contorted in pain until Jami finally stopped, facing him dead on. Then, the man’s face was utterly blank.

“State what you are to the Supreme Leader,” Jami toned calmly. “State what you are to Master Ren and the General.”

“I am a predator,” The man sputtered. “I prey on my own children.”

What was Jami doing? This was more than some mind trick. This was Dark Side power I had never seen before. To control the weak-minded, they still needed coercion. They needed to be told what to think, aloud. Jami was ordering the man to speak, and the man answered with what I was sure Jami wanted to hear. I clenched my fists to calm my racing thoughts. I glanced sideways at Hux, who looked on as if Jami were a weapon primed to fire upon his enemies. Only I seemed to be ignorant in this situation.

Jami raised a hand and beckoned. A Stormtrooper walked over to her, presented her with its blaster, and turned back to its post without a word. The blaster was large and awkward in Jami’s hand. Jami held it out to the man, who took the blaster without question. Jami took a a side-step, grinning madly. The man walked forward, straddling the woman who laid weeping on the floor. The man handled the blaster expertly, switching the setting from ‘stun’ to ‘kill’, aimed for the woman’s legs, and fired.

Her screams echoed through the chamber.

The blaster fired again, into the woman’s knees. Then her arms and shoulders. Jami looked on in open delight, glancing sideways up to the Supreme Leader. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she dropped the smile. She now glared at the pair of captives. The man paused, adjusted aim, and fired several rounds into the woman’s skull. Her screams were silenced, and the smell of copper filled the air. The man stopped moving after the fifth shot. Jami exhaled angrily.

Then, as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world, the man took the still smoking barrel of the blaster, placed it gingerly into his mouth, angled it, and fired. His body hit the floor with a wet thud. I felt my eyes widen at the sight of the bodies, following the trail of remains to Jami. The man’s blood and gore had splattered on her clothes, on her face. As our eyes met, Jami was looking at me expectantly. She sought the approval of her master, even as the blood and brains of the man she had just somehow ordered to kill himself dripped down her face.

“Your Force Corrupt has improved greatly since we last tested it, my pupil.” Snoke praised.

Jami started as if she had completely forgotten Snoke was in the room. She turned to him and bowed deeply. With the red streaks across her face, Jami looked like a true Sith, like the Sith Lords of old. I should be delighted. I should be proud. I should be elated to have another powerful ally in the fight against the Resistance and disorder in the Galaxy. But I wasn’t. I stood silent as Hux joined in the praises of Jami, stepping over the bloodied remains like one steps over a spilled drink. Jami nodded to him, but her eyes searched for me. I remained where I stood. Snoke’s gaze met mine, and in an instant I knew that he knew.

He knew.

Snoke nodded to me, and I took that as my cue to exit. I turned on my heel and retreated. The chamber doors opened and the clean-up crew blew past me to tidy up Jami’s carnage. I could feel Jami reaching for me, the strength of her dark coercion pulling at my legs, tugging at my arms. I steeled myself and stalked from the room.

When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you.

The words of my father echoed through my mind, their implication finally striking deeply in my chest. Snoke has what he wants: a strong, dependable Dark Side user. So what use did he have for me, the man who couldn’t even secure a droid or a child from running off with the final piece of the map that lead to Luke Skywalker? Whose personal failures were continually surmounting. I didn’t stop walking until I was in my own personal chambers, ripped my helmet off and threw it to the floor.

I had thought of Han Solo as my father just now. The Light in me grows stronger.

It was several minutes until I felt Jami approaching my quarters. I could feel her waiting just outside the door.

“Master Ren?” She asked through the door.

I needed her touch, the steadiness of her presence. The door was open before I even knew I wanted it open. Jami walked in cautiously, blood gone from her face, her features drawn in shame.

“I have disappointed you.” She stated sadly.

As she came to stand beside me, I instantly felt both calmer and more distraught. Jami’s physical presence was the greatest source of relief for me. I tried to keep my features neutral.

“How so?” I asked.

“I don’t,” Jami stammered. “I don’t know. I thought I would finally do something that would please you. Show you how hard I’d been working to be worthy of your time and effort.”

Jami looked destroyed mentally. She turned away beginning to pace.

“That’s why the Supreme Leader has been working me so hard, I’m sure of it,” Jami was babbling at this point. “Because I’m still so weak. I thought I had caught up some, come to possess even a percentage of your power and talents, but seeing you walk away just now in complete disgust…”

Jami ran a hand through her hair, pulling it loose. I watched hungrily as it tumbled down her shoulders and back.

“Snoke is so confident in you,” Jami lamented. “That he doesn’t even need to speak with you. He didn’t even need to discuss tomorrow’s battle plans with you. He said you’d know what needed to be done. I need constant guidance and oversight. I’ve shamed you.”

“The Supreme Leader is your Master now,” I stated. “Your powers are great. There’s no need to do anything for me anymore.”

Jami turned back to me, striding confidently towards me, eyes narrowed in determination.

“Snoke is not my master,” Jami said firmly. “I obey him because demanded it. You honor and respect him, and so shall I until you command me otherwise.”

Jami now stood before me, close enough to touch. I could feel the warmth of her breath on my neck as she spoke.

“I do not forget who it was that saved me,” Jami continued. “The one who plucked me from obscurity and gave me purpose.”

As soon as her fingers grazed my exposed face, my arms were around her, pulling her towards me. Her touch brought me back from the brink of madness. If I could just hold on to her tightly enough, the Light would be banished. Thoughts of my father, long gone, would be banished. Jami was the Dark Side, and the closer I drew myself to her, the father the Light in me would fall away.

Her skin was warm beneath her training robes, flushing pink under my touch, her breath gasping in my ear. I needed her power. I needed her use of the Force. I needed her. I needed Jami. Because I had a feeling if I did not possess Jami utterly in this moment, right now, I would not survive whatever battle lay ahead. I slipped into Jami’s memories easily, laying siege to her neck as I did so.

I could see Snoke and Hux, but Jami’s thoughts were distracted. All I could gather was tomorrow, we would approach a Resistance stronghold and aim to cripple it. Jami was to seek out Skywalker and kill him.

And I was left with Rey.