Rewind and Repeat
Chapter Two
There was still a little bit of light filtering in through the corners of the blackout curtains when I woke up, which means it was way too fucking early to be conscious.
I tried to go back to sleep, be after an hour of fitfully turning around in the sopor I growled and sat upright, poking my head out of the slime. My respiteblock was colder than the sopor, but that was to be expected. I kept my sopor pretty warm by lowblood standards, seeing as my body heat was warmer than your average lowblood I needed the warmer sopor to stay warm while sleeping. Cold sopor was the worst thing to have ever existed.
I dragged myself into the ablution trap and stood under the water for at least an hour, longer than normal. My head kept going back to the yellowblood in the alley.
He saw me, I was the last thing he saw before he died. He looked to me for help, but there was nothing I could do.
Nothing.
I scrubbed the sopor out of my hair, trying to clear my head. I don’t know why this kept bothering me, this sort of thing happens all the time on Alternia.
Maybe it’s because I had never seen that before with my own ganderbulbs.
Maybe it’s because that could very easily happen to me.
I sighed and dragged myself to the mealblock to try and heat up some grubsteak from a few nights ago. I didn’t eat after I got home last night so my meal sac was trying to eat itself at this point. I think that anxiety might have had something do with my churning stomach also, but whatever I guess.
After successfully making coffee and food I went back upstairs to my respiteblock and sat in front of my husktop. I pulled up the coding program that I have, the very one Sollux told me was a piece of shit just about every time I mention its existence, and pulled up the virus that I had been working on.
Sollux taught me the basics of how to code sweeps ago before telling me to figure the rest out myself cause it wasn’t that hard, the lying, bifurcated bulgesucker. It was not as easy as he said it was.
So sweeps later, here I am, trying to figure out how to make this virus do what I wanted it to do. A few hours past, but I got basically nothing done. I kept thinking back to the yellowblood in the alley.
It’s like my thinkpan was stuck on rewinding and repeating every detail. The crack of his bones, the splatter of yellow colored blood hitting the dusty ground and the brick wall behind him, it all echoed and played behind his eyes like it kept happening over and over again. I felt anxiety twisting in my stomach and I didn’t even know why. It didn’t happen to me, and there was nothing I could do, but I didn’t even try to stop it either. If I did try to stop it, I would have died too.
I ran my tongue over my fangs, which were pretty blunt by troll standards, and paused in my coding to see that I did an entire section wrong in my distracted thoughts and growled at myself, irritated. I went to drink more of my coffee only to find the mug empty.
I went downstairs and heated up some more and walked back upstairs to find Trollian pinging at me in quick succession.
“Alright, alright you impatient grubsucker I’m coming,” I groaned. I dropped myself into the chair, minimized the coding program, and opened Trollian. It was Terezi.
—gallowsCalibrator began trolling carcinoGeneticist—
GC: K4RK4T!!
GC: K4RK4T YOU N33D TO 4NSW3R M3 R1GHT NOW!!
GC: TH1S 1S 1MPORT4NT!!
GC: TH1S 4 M4TT3R OF L1F3 OR D34TH 4ND YOU N33D TO 4NSW3R M3
GC: K4RK4T!!
GC: DO NOT M4K3 M3 G3T VR1SK4 1NVOLV3D B3C4US3 YOU KNOW 1 W1LL
GC: 1 S3R1OUSLY N33D YOU TO M3SS4G3 M3 B4CK
GC: YOU KNOW 1M NOT TH3 TYP3 TO B3G BUT TH1S 1S V1T4L
CG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS SO VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU FELT THE NEED TO SPAM AT ME?
CG: I AM OH SO CURIOUS NOW TEREZI.
CG: WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT TEREZI PYROPE HERSELF WOULD BEG ME?
GC: SHUT TH3 FUCK UP FOR 4 S3COND!!
GC: YOU DONT UND3RST4ND
GC: 1 4M H3R3 W1TH 4 W4RN1NG
GC: D3P3ND1NG ON TH3 CHO1C3S YOU M4K3
GC: YOU W1LL 31TH3R DOOM 4LL OF US
GC: OR YOU W1LL S4V3 US 4LL
—gallowsCalibrator ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist—
CG: TEREZI WHAT THE FUCK?
I sat there and stared at my screen. What the fuck was she talking about?
And why did it make all the blood in my body run cold as I read it?
I shook my head vigorously to try and clear it and closed the window. She decides to furiously get my attention, tell me some weird cryptic horsebeastshit, and then leave right away? What the fuck?
I got up and stormed outside, pulling at my hair. I exhaled slowly through my teeth and walked over to the railing on the balcony. Below, trolls walked along the paths that wound around the lawnrings going about their business. Some carried satchels with food in them, others just hurried by in cloaks with or without their hood up. There were two trolls, a burgundyblood that lived a few hives down and an oliveblood that I’ve never seen before, walking past my hive holding hands. Matesprits most likely.
It was about midnight, maybe a little later, so there were plenty of trolls outside. I technically didn’t live in an actual settlement, just a small cluster of hives along one of the main pathways that cut through the part of Alternia. That was a path that was actually paved, unlike the paths in regular hive clusters or in smaller paths in the actual settlements. Regular paths consisted of dirt and gravel, at least where I lived it did. Less traveled paths sometimes still had grass growing on them.
I gripped the railing tight enough that I was sure that the skin was more white than grey, why was I so shaken up about this? It was nonsense and Terezi was probably just fucking with me. She always does.
But not like this.
She was the type to tease and to prod at me to piss me off, which often worked, not give me some cryptic message and disconnect. I know her well enough to know that that’s not like her.
I shook my head again and exhaled. How long was I holding my breath for?
She had to be fucking with me, I wasn’t important enough to change my own circle of idiots that I call friends let alone anything else she was talking about. In the big scheme of things, I was nothing. I was a pariah in a society that would kill me if they had the chance.
Why was this getting to me?
I turned from the balcony and walked back inside, checking over my hands for possible scratches. Luckily, there were none.
I sat back down at my husktop and pulled up Trollian to troll someone about this, but hesitated. I wasn’t close with anyone really. I talked to them sure, but I spent more time rambling and having rage-fits at them. I didn’t talk to anyone about anything really important. I talked to Aradia to complain about how stupid the caste system was because if anyone understood being on the bottom it was her, being a burgundyblood. However, I didn’t talk to her about anything important.
This was important.
I growled at myself, I didn’t even know why it was important. It just felt important, which was stupid cause it was more than likely just Terezi fucking with me.
Right?
I tried to go back to sleep, be after an hour of fitfully turning around in the sopor I growled and sat upright, poking my head out of the slime. My respiteblock was colder than the sopor, but that was to be expected. I kept my sopor pretty warm by lowblood standards, seeing as my body heat was warmer than your average lowblood I needed the warmer sopor to stay warm while sleeping. Cold sopor was the worst thing to have ever existed.
I dragged myself into the ablution trap and stood under the water for at least an hour, longer than normal. My head kept going back to the yellowblood in the alley.
He saw me, I was the last thing he saw before he died. He looked to me for help, but there was nothing I could do.
Nothing.
I scrubbed the sopor out of my hair, trying to clear my head. I don’t know why this kept bothering me, this sort of thing happens all the time on Alternia.
Maybe it’s because I had never seen that before with my own ganderbulbs.
Maybe it’s because that could very easily happen to me.
I sighed and dragged myself to the mealblock to try and heat up some grubsteak from a few nights ago. I didn’t eat after I got home last night so my meal sac was trying to eat itself at this point. I think that anxiety might have had something do with my churning stomach also, but whatever I guess.
After successfully making coffee and food I went back upstairs to my respiteblock and sat in front of my husktop. I pulled up the coding program that I have, the very one Sollux told me was a piece of shit just about every time I mention its existence, and pulled up the virus that I had been working on.
Sollux taught me the basics of how to code sweeps ago before telling me to figure the rest out myself cause it wasn’t that hard, the lying, bifurcated bulgesucker. It was not as easy as he said it was.
So sweeps later, here I am, trying to figure out how to make this virus do what I wanted it to do. A few hours past, but I got basically nothing done. I kept thinking back to the yellowblood in the alley.
It’s like my thinkpan was stuck on rewinding and repeating every detail. The crack of his bones, the splatter of yellow colored blood hitting the dusty ground and the brick wall behind him, it all echoed and played behind his eyes like it kept happening over and over again. I felt anxiety twisting in my stomach and I didn’t even know why. It didn’t happen to me, and there was nothing I could do, but I didn’t even try to stop it either. If I did try to stop it, I would have died too.
I ran my tongue over my fangs, which were pretty blunt by troll standards, and paused in my coding to see that I did an entire section wrong in my distracted thoughts and growled at myself, irritated. I went to drink more of my coffee only to find the mug empty.
I went downstairs and heated up some more and walked back upstairs to find Trollian pinging at me in quick succession.
“Alright, alright you impatient grubsucker I’m coming,” I groaned. I dropped myself into the chair, minimized the coding program, and opened Trollian. It was Terezi.
—gallowsCalibrator began trolling carcinoGeneticist—
GC: K4RK4T!!
GC: K4RK4T YOU N33D TO 4NSW3R M3 R1GHT NOW!!
GC: TH1S 1S 1MPORT4NT!!
GC: TH1S 4 M4TT3R OF L1F3 OR D34TH 4ND YOU N33D TO 4NSW3R M3
GC: K4RK4T!!
GC: DO NOT M4K3 M3 G3T VR1SK4 1NVOLV3D B3C4US3 YOU KNOW 1 W1LL
GC: 1 S3R1OUSLY N33D YOU TO M3SS4G3 M3 B4CK
GC: YOU KNOW 1M NOT TH3 TYP3 TO B3G BUT TH1S 1S V1T4L
CG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS SO VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU FELT THE NEED TO SPAM AT ME?
CG: I AM OH SO CURIOUS NOW TEREZI.
CG: WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT TEREZI PYROPE HERSELF WOULD BEG ME?
GC: SHUT TH3 FUCK UP FOR 4 S3COND!!
GC: YOU DONT UND3RST4ND
GC: 1 4M H3R3 W1TH 4 W4RN1NG
GC: D3P3ND1NG ON TH3 CHO1C3S YOU M4K3
GC: YOU W1LL 31TH3R DOOM 4LL OF US
GC: OR YOU W1LL S4V3 US 4LL
—gallowsCalibrator ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist—
CG: TEREZI WHAT THE FUCK?
I sat there and stared at my screen. What the fuck was she talking about?
And why did it make all the blood in my body run cold as I read it?
I shook my head vigorously to try and clear it and closed the window. She decides to furiously get my attention, tell me some weird cryptic horsebeastshit, and then leave right away? What the fuck?
I got up and stormed outside, pulling at my hair. I exhaled slowly through my teeth and walked over to the railing on the balcony. Below, trolls walked along the paths that wound around the lawnrings going about their business. Some carried satchels with food in them, others just hurried by in cloaks with or without their hood up. There were two trolls, a burgundyblood that lived a few hives down and an oliveblood that I’ve never seen before, walking past my hive holding hands. Matesprits most likely.
It was about midnight, maybe a little later, so there were plenty of trolls outside. I technically didn’t live in an actual settlement, just a small cluster of hives along one of the main pathways that cut through the part of Alternia. That was a path that was actually paved, unlike the paths in regular hive clusters or in smaller paths in the actual settlements. Regular paths consisted of dirt and gravel, at least where I lived it did. Less traveled paths sometimes still had grass growing on them.
I gripped the railing tight enough that I was sure that the skin was more white than grey, why was I so shaken up about this? It was nonsense and Terezi was probably just fucking with me. She always does.
But not like this.
She was the type to tease and to prod at me to piss me off, which often worked, not give me some cryptic message and disconnect. I know her well enough to know that that’s not like her.
I shook my head again and exhaled. How long was I holding my breath for?
She had to be fucking with me, I wasn’t important enough to change my own circle of idiots that I call friends let alone anything else she was talking about. In the big scheme of things, I was nothing. I was a pariah in a society that would kill me if they had the chance.
Why was this getting to me?
I turned from the balcony and walked back inside, checking over my hands for possible scratches. Luckily, there were none.
I sat back down at my husktop and pulled up Trollian to troll someone about this, but hesitated. I wasn’t close with anyone really. I talked to them sure, but I spent more time rambling and having rage-fits at them. I didn’t talk to anyone about anything really important. I talked to Aradia to complain about how stupid the caste system was because if anyone understood being on the bottom it was her, being a burgundyblood. However, I didn’t talk to her about anything important.
This was important.
I growled at myself, I didn’t even know why it was important. It just felt important, which was stupid cause it was more than likely just Terezi fucking with me.
Right?