Getting Surreal

My Chemical Romance.

My FUCKING Chemical Romance.

They were just getting off stage after a (tragically meager, if Becks had any say in it) twenty minute set, and she could not believe how amazing they were. She had heard a couple of their earliest songs (and promptly learned them on guitar because they were good…like, real good), but had never seen them live and she almost couldn’t believe how good they were. They were insane.

“FUCK!” She shouted as Frank vaulted off the stage ramp that led to the backstage and latched onto her in a bear hug, all smiles and beyond giddy from the show. Hell, she was, too, and she was so blown away by their performance that she didn’t even care that he was all sweaty and gross. “You were so good, oh my fuck,” she muttered in his ear, reciprocating his embrace.

He laughed in her ear then pulled away, letting whoever was next in line off stage to hug her as he moved on to hug Brian. Ray came up to her next and gave her a smile and a quick, sweaty hug, Bob patting them both heartily on their backs.

“Fuckin’ killer!” He shouted as they parted and the two guys went off to talk to their techs and manager.

She could hear shouts of approval from them behind her as Gerard wrapped his arms around her tightly. “You were amazing, Gerard,” she complimented him honestly.

“Hey, so were you,” he replied quietly. He pulled away with a quick kiss to her cheek and held her a little less than arms’ length away and gave her a steady look, his sudden sincerity slightly shocking her. “You’re doing a great job here, okay?” He studied her face as she processed that, then she smiled and nodded.

In that moment, she truly believed it and finally felt like she was supposed to be there. With her smile, all seriousness seemed to dissipate from his face, and he giggled and, with one last squeeze to her shoulders, clambered off to go tackle Frank who let out a loud screech at the contact and the two collapsed in a heap of joyous screams and giggles. Becks just watched the two with a small smile on her face, her cheeks flushed with happiness and a true feeling of acceptance as she pondered over Gerard’s words and how he seemed to somehow just know exactly what she had been fearing deep down. Could he really see right through her to her insecurities? Was she really so obvious?

“He has a knack for that,” Mikey’s voice cut her out of her reverie and she turned to find him standing shoulder to shoulder with her, also watching the chaos that was the singer and rhythm guitar player.

“For what?”

Mikey looked at her. “Telling you exactly what you need to hear, even if you don’t know you need it.” She looked at him for a second, glanced back at towards the rest of the band, mildly amused to see Frank perched on top of a laughing Gerard, then back up at Mikey, taking him in. He was still breathing heavily from their performance, his glasses slipping slightly down his nose from the sweat, and the light brown hair that wasn’t hidden under his beanie was plastered to his face. He looked so happy. “He’s right, you know,” he stated, smiling as her brow furrowed the tiniest bit. “You’re one of us now.”

There was a split-second where the world seemed to freeze around her. No sound, no bustle of people around her, nothing.

Then suddenly, Becks found herself launching into his body, smiling bigger than she had in longer than she could remember as he wrapped his arms around her. They just stood there, holding each other for the next few moments.

Becks had no idea where the sudden surge of emotion and boldness came from. Maybe she had just felt alone and alienated since her old band told her they wanted her out. Maybe she had actually felt alone and alienated ever since the day she moved from western New York to Jersey to try and make her own way in the world. Maybe, if she was truly honest with herself, she had always kind of felt alone and alienated, always different, and never truly, completely welcomed into any friendship before. She had always been different. Different taste in music, different taste in clothes, different view of the world. Sure, people liked her, she was kind, she was funny, and she was a little bit cool in a weird sort of way, but it never really seemed to go much farther than that.

And for the first time in her life, on her first night on tour with My Chemical Romance, with the handful of guys that she had only really just met, she felt true acceptance.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into Mikey’s chest, so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her over the noise around them. He gave her a quick squeeze in response then pulled back a little to look her in the face.

“What for?” He chuckled, freezing when he saw her face. She looked sad, confused…scared? He couldn’t quite figure it out.

“I, uh,” she struggled for words, frowning at her feet for a moment. “I just, um,” she looked up at him. “For being cool with me, I guess. I, uh,” she rubbed the back of her neck, not used to being open or expressing her emotions to people. “I’m not really used to it, I guess,” she tagged on lamely, mentally chastising herself for being the complete opposite of smooth.

Mikey just stared down at her and the more time that passed, the more she began to feel like maybe she’d said too much and had gone too far and was just about to either attempt a poor excuse for what she’d just said or bolt out of the room in a panic when his hand on her wrist caught her attention, stilling her from her anxious movements.

“Hey,” he said softly and pulled her into another hug, rubbing her back comfortingly. “It’s okay.” He felt her let out a shaky sigh and wrap her arms around his thin waist. “I mean it. Gee means it. We all do, okay?” She nodded slowly, letting him know that she understood as he continued, “I mean, I know we all just met you, but we’re all pretty good judges of character usually, and we, uh, we all like you. When we’re on tour, we all become family, and you’re a part of ours now.” They stood quietly for the next moment, him rubbing her back and her holding him tightly as though he were all she had left to cling to. “It’s okay” He repeated to her quietly again before their moment was broken.

“Yo, Mikey!” They heard a voice call out from somewhere behind Becks.

He sighed and then pressed his face into her hair in what Becks wasn’t quite sure, but it kind of felt like a light kiss to her, if she’d let herself truly believe it. The Way brothers sure are affectionate, she found herself thinking. And that was definitely something she could see herself getting used to.

“You good?” He asked her, pulling away and smiling lightly when he saw that she was, as well.

“Yeah, I, uh,” she shook her head as if to make sense of the last few minutes before shooting him an even stronger smile. “I’m good.”

He gave her a curt nod then motioned to behind her where the guys were all stood waiting for them. “We should probably go with them,” he said kindly and, in spite of his earlier boldness, somewhat shyly. “I, uh, I think we’re in the way.” She cocked her head in question before she realized that another band was onstage and mid-song. She couldn’t believe that she’d been so oblivious of everything to notice the switch from the tinny PA rock tunes that played between sets to the live music being played extremely loudly no more than twenty feet from her. She gave a light laugh and nodded, letting him lead the way.

Just before they reached the rest of the group, she spoke up again. “Hey, Mikey?” She asked.

He looked over his shoulder at her. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for…you know.” He just gave her a warm grin and she felt herself blushing a little bit before Frank caught her attention.

“Beccckkkkssss,” he whined out her name, dragging it out and running up to her.

“Fffraaaaaaannnnk” she imitated at him playfully. He kind of had that effect on people, she was learning, to just bring them out of whatever funk they may be in and just brighten their spirits. He was kind of like a puppy.

“Where in God’s name have you been, I’ve been waiting for youuu!” He cried as he grabbed her hand, tugging her into the next room where she saw Brian, Ray, and Bob all chatting in one corner, drinks in hand. “Come on, come on!” He shouted as he led her over to a small, makeshift bar for the bands. “I wanted to wait for you, but I’m dying for a drink,” he explained, grinning ear to ear as he reached into the fridge, pulling out two beers. “Let’s celebrate!” He handed her a one then addressed the room at large. “To a night and job well done!” And everyone there shouted out a cheer.

---

Gerard waited until Frank had dragged Becks out of the backstage area and into the green room before throwing an arm around his brother and looking at him coolly. “So what was that all about?” He asked.

“Whaddya mean?” Mikey replied, looking back at him. If it were anyone else, they would have just seen his carefully crafted poker face, nothing but a blank slate of expression staring back at them. But this was Gerard. And Gerard knew him better than anyone else and could almost always read him like a fucking book. When Gerard just stared at him, he took off his beanie, playing with it as he let out a sigh. “Hey man, you kissed her, too. She just…” he searched the ground for his words. “She just needed some care, ya know?”

“Sure, Mikes,” Gerard said, ruffling his hair and earning a cry of dismay. “Sure.” He shot his little brother a cocky smirk before heading to find the rest of the band. “Let’s go.”

Mikey just groaned as he followed him, fixing his hair best he could then tugging his beanie back on.