‹ Prequel: All of Me
Unhinged
007
Song Inspiration
“What the fuck is she doing here?!” Cassidy yelled.
“Cassidy, calm down. We can talk about this.” I said, I looked over at D who shifted uncomfortably.
“And why the fuck is she wearing your clothes?!”
“Cassidy, “ D started.
“Don’t fucking say anything to me you bitch.”
“Cass, don’t-” I started.
“Hold on, never once did I call you names or treat you like shit when you were going after Nick while he and I were still together. Nothing happened between Nick and I. We were all drinking, I got a little too drunk and I couldn’t drive. So they offered me their couch. And Nick, being the amazing guy he is, offered me his clothes after I puked all over mine. So if anyone is being a bitch here, it’s you. Nick just lost his Father. Give him a damn break. Now if you’ll excuse me.” D said.
I was dumbfounded. Why did she just do that for me? Cassidy looked beyond embarrassed. She couldn’t say a word. I watched as D walked away.
“Cassidy, go inside, get your stuff unpacked. I’ll be right in.” I said. She nodded hesitantly, but went inside anyway. I chased D down to her car.
I knocked on her driver’s side window, asking for her to roll it down. I saw her wipe tears away from her eyes before doing so.
“Why would you do that D?”
She shrugged. “Like you said, it’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be though. If you want me, tell me. I’m yours.”
“Nicholas Jonas,” She breathed, “It’s not that easy.”
“Of course it is. You’re making it hard.”
“You’ve got a beautiful girl inside waiting for you.”
“And I’ve got a beautiful girl right in front of me, unsure of if she wants me or not and look where I am.”
She chuckled as tears fell from her eyes.
“Why are you crying?” I asked as I wiped tears away.
“Go inside Nick.”
I kissed her head. “We aren’t done talking.”
She nodded. I stepped away from her car and watched her drive away.
I took a deep breath in before entering my house. I walked slowly up the stairs to my room to meet Cassidy.
“Nick, why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just going through a lot right now.”
“Did nothing really happen between you two?”
“Nothing happened.” I said softly, I was never good at lying.
“Did you want something to happen?” She asked hesitantly.
“Are you just asking me these questions to yell at me? Or be mad at me?”
“Nick, I just want to know.”
“Yeah, I did. For a split second.”
Cassidy sighed. “I really wish you didn’t have to see her.”
“Nothing you say will make D disappear from my life. She’s a big part of mine and my family’s lives. Nothing can change that. I’m sorry Cass.”
“Nick, are you sure nothing happened?”
“What if something did? What then?” I asked .
“I would be really hurt, but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. You love her Nick.”
I buried my face in my hands, I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t keep pretending. I needed to end things with Cassidy, even if D didn’t want me.
“We slept together.” I said softly.
I heard Cassidy begin to cry, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Mhmm.”
“Did you even think about me before sleeping with her?”
I looked up at her, I felt awful. I hurt her. “Do you want me to be honest?”
She nodded.
“No.” She began to cry harder.
“I’m so sorry Cass. I didn’t mean for anything to-”
“You did mean for something to happen. You wanted it. You’re in love with her Nick.”
She was right.
“I’m sorry.” I did really feel awful.
“So what now? Are you going to go be with her?”
“I don’t know.”
“So what, you sleep with her, ruin our relationship and you’re not even going to end up with her?” She began to get agitated.
“I didn’t say that. It’s complicated. I just don’t think it’s fair to you if I keep being in this relationship, I can’t give you 100 percent, and you deserve it.”
Tears fell from her eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to wipe them away. I was a massive dick, but this needed to be done. I wasn’t happy with her.
“So what now? We share an apartment in Colorado, we-”
“You can stay there until you find a place. I’m gonna stay out here for just a little longer, and when I get back,” I sighed, “Please don’t be there.”
“Nick…”
“I’m really sorry. I just… I’m fucked up.” I found myself starting to cry.
She pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted.” She whispered.
“Don’t apologize to me. It’s not your fault, I don’t deserve it.”
She kissed my head.
“If you would have met me first Nick…”
I shook my head. “Don’t…”
She stood up and began to walk out of my room, “Nick?”
I looked up at her, “If for some odd reason you and D don’t end up together…. Give me a call.”
I furrowed my brows, “Why would you want another chance with me?”
“Because, I know you’re hurt, and confused. You’re a good guy Nick. I love you.”
I smiled slightly and she left my life just like that.
I really hope I’m not making a mistake.
“What the fuck is she doing here?!” Cassidy yelled.
“Cassidy, calm down. We can talk about this.” I said, I looked over at D who shifted uncomfortably.
“And why the fuck is she wearing your clothes?!”
“Cassidy, “ D started.
“Don’t fucking say anything to me you bitch.”
“Cass, don’t-” I started.
“Hold on, never once did I call you names or treat you like shit when you were going after Nick while he and I were still together. Nothing happened between Nick and I. We were all drinking, I got a little too drunk and I couldn’t drive. So they offered me their couch. And Nick, being the amazing guy he is, offered me his clothes after I puked all over mine. So if anyone is being a bitch here, it’s you. Nick just lost his Father. Give him a damn break. Now if you’ll excuse me.” D said.
I was dumbfounded. Why did she just do that for me? Cassidy looked beyond embarrassed. She couldn’t say a word. I watched as D walked away.
“Cassidy, go inside, get your stuff unpacked. I’ll be right in.” I said. She nodded hesitantly, but went inside anyway. I chased D down to her car.
I knocked on her driver’s side window, asking for her to roll it down. I saw her wipe tears away from her eyes before doing so.
“Why would you do that D?”
She shrugged. “Like you said, it’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be though. If you want me, tell me. I’m yours.”
“Nicholas Jonas,” She breathed, “It’s not that easy.”
“Of course it is. You’re making it hard.”
“You’ve got a beautiful girl inside waiting for you.”
“And I’ve got a beautiful girl right in front of me, unsure of if she wants me or not and look where I am.”
She chuckled as tears fell from her eyes.
“Why are you crying?” I asked as I wiped tears away.
“Go inside Nick.”
I kissed her head. “We aren’t done talking.”
She nodded. I stepped away from her car and watched her drive away.
I took a deep breath in before entering my house. I walked slowly up the stairs to my room to meet Cassidy.
“Nick, why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just going through a lot right now.”
“Did nothing really happen between you two?”
“Nothing happened.” I said softly, I was never good at lying.
“Did you want something to happen?” She asked hesitantly.
“Are you just asking me these questions to yell at me? Or be mad at me?”
“Nick, I just want to know.”
“Yeah, I did. For a split second.”
Cassidy sighed. “I really wish you didn’t have to see her.”
“Nothing you say will make D disappear from my life. She’s a big part of mine and my family’s lives. Nothing can change that. I’m sorry Cass.”
“Nick, are you sure nothing happened?”
“What if something did? What then?” I asked .
“I would be really hurt, but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. You love her Nick.”
I buried my face in my hands, I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t keep pretending. I needed to end things with Cassidy, even if D didn’t want me.
“We slept together.” I said softly.
I heard Cassidy begin to cry, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Mhmm.”
“Did you even think about me before sleeping with her?”
I looked up at her, I felt awful. I hurt her. “Do you want me to be honest?”
She nodded.
“No.” She began to cry harder.
“I’m so sorry Cass. I didn’t mean for anything to-”
“You did mean for something to happen. You wanted it. You’re in love with her Nick.”
She was right.
“I’m sorry.” I did really feel awful.
“So what now? Are you going to go be with her?”
“I don’t know.”
“So what, you sleep with her, ruin our relationship and you’re not even going to end up with her?” She began to get agitated.
“I didn’t say that. It’s complicated. I just don’t think it’s fair to you if I keep being in this relationship, I can’t give you 100 percent, and you deserve it.”
Tears fell from her eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to wipe them away. I was a massive dick, but this needed to be done. I wasn’t happy with her.
“So what now? We share an apartment in Colorado, we-”
“You can stay there until you find a place. I’m gonna stay out here for just a little longer, and when I get back,” I sighed, “Please don’t be there.”
“Nick…”
“I’m really sorry. I just… I’m fucked up.” I found myself starting to cry.
She pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted.” She whispered.
“Don’t apologize to me. It’s not your fault, I don’t deserve it.”
She kissed my head.
“If you would have met me first Nick…”
I shook my head. “Don’t…”
She stood up and began to walk out of my room, “Nick?”
I looked up at her, “If for some odd reason you and D don’t end up together…. Give me a call.”
I furrowed my brows, “Why would you want another chance with me?”
“Because, I know you’re hurt, and confused. You’re a good guy Nick. I love you.”
I smiled slightly and she left my life just like that.
I really hope I’m not making a mistake.