Chasing Second Chances

“I swear to god, you are the laziest person alive.” I huffed, throwing some of Tristan’s dirty clothes at him.

“Hey!” He pulled the stained shirt off of his face with disgust. “You’re home all day doing nothing, how am I the lazy one?”

“You’re here all day doing nothing, I’m here all day cleaning and cooking for you.”

I began mumbling to myself as I continued to clean the house. “Only been here for five days and he’s already driving me crazy.”

“He can hear you.”

“Then he should help me clean.”

“Ella! Let’s have a girls day.” LaLa burst through the door cheerfully, oblivious to the quarrel Tristan and I were currently in the middle of.

“That is a great idea Laura!” Tristan eagerly pushed me towards the front door. “You two have a wonderful girls day.”

LaLa hooked our arms, dragging me outside. “You better clean the house while I’m gone!”

The giggle to my right made me glance over. “You sound like you’re scolding a child.”

“That’s because he is a child.” I squirmed slightly at her look. “Where are we going anyways?”

“You’ll see.”

Oh god, this is going to be something uncomfortable.

“Good afternoon ladies! What can we do for you today?”

“Can we get two tables next to each other please? And we’ll both take a manicure.”

“Of course! Right this way!”

Manicures? We’re getting manicures?

“La, I’m not very comfortable with this.”

People touching me? No thank you.

“Oh.” The look of disappointment on her face killed me. “We can find something else to do I guess.”

With a sigh I shook my head. “No, you know what, never mind. This is fine.”

“Yay.”

“Here are your tables, this is Lana and this is Jen.”

“Thank you.” Our simultaneous answer had me smiling.

“You are so beautiful.” I heard Laura’s nail lady compliment.

“So how do you two know each other?” My attention snapped back to Lana.

“We’re sisters.”

“Really? You two look nothing alike!”

There it is again.

Another reminder.

“Did your parents have to make a deal with the devil to get two beautiful girls like you or what?”

I inadvertently made a face at Lana.

Two beautiful girls?

“I say something wrong dear?”

Shocked I looked from Lana to Laura.

“She’s just, not used to getting compliments is all I’m afraid.”

“You get complimented all the time don’t you?”

Slumping in my seat I continued with the torture, hearing everything Jen was saying to my sister.

“Don’t mind her.” Glancing up I met Lana’s strong gaze. “She’s the type of person that thinks that women are only beautiful if they’re under a size 5.”

I scrunched my face in disgust. “That’s stupid, everyone is beautiful in their own way.”

Lana raised a knowing eyebrow. “So why can’t you see that beauty in yourself?”

“This is fun isn’t it El bell?”

Oh loads.

Biting my tongue I smiled and nodded.

Lana moved in closer, making sure to keep our conversation quiet.

“So, how long have you been harming yourself?”

“W-what?”

“How else would you have gotten these scars? I’m not as simpleminded as some might think you know.” I kept my mouth shut tight. “I won’t stop until you answer me.”

Did Tristan pick out my nail artist?

She’s awfully nosy.

“For about,” God how long has it been now? “14 years.”

Shock and pity engulfed her features. “How old are you?”

“I’m 26.”

Lana shook her head as she scrubbed my nails. “You’re far too smart to be doing something so foolish.”

I cocked my head in confusion. “We just met, you don’t know anything about me.”

“I’m perceptive my dear, nothing gets past me.” She glanced up with a smile. “So why do you do it?”

“Listen Lana, I already have a childish therapist rampaging through my house, I don’t need another one at the nail salon.”

“Is he cute?”

Shocked I tilted my head. “How did you know he was a man?”

“You called him childish, that’s a dead give away.”

At this I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“What’s so funny over there?” Laura butt in, as curious as ever.

“Childish men.”

“Like that cute therapist?” I rolled my eyes at Laura’s obvious infatuation. “Oh come on Ella, even you can’t deny he’s hot.”

“Well Ella?” Lana looked at me expectantly.

“Alright, I admit. He is a good looking man, even if he does act like a child.”

“I bet he fell in love with you from the first moment he saw you.” Jen continued to sweet talk LaLa.

“You really think so?” She squealed, cheeks turning pink.

My happy demeanor fell.

Was it really necessary for the woman to keep reminding me of my worth?

To remind me how Laura is better than me?

I’ve been hearing it my whole life, I think I’m done with the announcement now.

“I expect to see you here in two weeks Ella.”

Again my head cocked to the right. “Why would you be expecting such things?”

“Looks like we’ll be having another girls day in two weeks then, thanks ladies!”

LaLa excitedly pulled us through the front door, causing me to bump into someone’s shoulder, but that didn’t slow her down any.

While jogging to keep up I glanced back. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s alright.”

The breath rushed from my body.

Now he is my type. I’ve always loved huskier guys.

“We need to hurry up and get you home!”

Snapping back to reality I looked over at Laura. “Will you slow down please? I’m fat, I can’t run like this.”

With a grumble she slowed. “You’re not fat.”

“Why do we have to hurry home anyways?”

“Because I want to see your cute therapist.”

Theatrically I gagged. “If you guys become a couple I’m going to hurl.”

“You really think we could be a couple?”

The way she acted you’d think I was the older sister.

My eyes scanned our surroundings as I felt like we were being watched.

People were looking at us.

Why were people looking at us?

I wish people would stop looking at us.

No, not us, her.

I’m invisible to these people, all they see is my beautiful sister.

Without notice the urge to hurt myself hit full blast.

Anxiously I scratched at my palm.

Besides LaLa, how many people would react if I jumped in front of that car?

I continued to scratch at my palm as the lovely scenarios danced through my mind.

My thoughts shot back to reality as Laura grabbed my hand.

“Dr. Turner told me that you’re thinking about hurting yourself when you start doing that.” She continued to walk as if this talk of self harm wasn’t happening. “I want you to rely on me for help Ella.”

I glanced down at our hands.

Rely on her for help?

What if she just builds you up to tear you right back down?

Trying to silence the negative voices swarming through my head, I squeezed her hand.

Giving in to those negative thoughts and feelings would be easy, and right now, I feel like a challenge.