Endlessly

Essi leaned against the doorframe and watched as Emilia shuffled around her room and fretted over every piece of clothing she had in her suitcase. She’d spent nearly the entire day getting ready for Ville’s show that night and despite her claims otherwise, displayed entirely too much concern over how she looked that night. As Emilia threw yet another unworthy T-shirt onto the bed, Essi sighed and threw her hands up.

“Why don’t you just borrow something of mine?” Essi asked finally, picking up some pieces of clothing from the floor and tossing them into the pile of discarded clothing.

Emilia chewed on her lip and looked around her room. “I have got to have something here…”

“Unless things are going to start magically appearing in that suitcase of yours, I’d say you’ve exhausted your options.”

Planting her hands on her hips, Emilia glanced at the pile of clothing on her bed and nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Come with me,” Essi said as she took her sister’s hand and led her to her own bedroom.

Emilia watched as Essi threw open her closet and watched as folded up clothes tumbled out of the overcrowded space. Essi really owned more clothing than was reasonable, partially because she never got rid of anything. Emilia stooped down to pick up a tank top that she remembered Essi procuring sometime in 1990. Shaking her head with a chuckle, she set the article of clothing back in the pile and watched as Essi rifled through the various things that were actually on a hanger.

“How do you feel about a dress?” Essi asked as she searched for a particular one she knew she’d seen a few days past.

“I feel like its December and I’ll lose my legs to frostbite.”

Essi rolled her eyes and continued her search. “Please, you’re going from a cab to the bar. I doubt you’ll lose your legs in thirty seconds.”

“It’ll take at least a whole minute if you make me wear heels too.”

“Still. You’re not losing any limbs. Aha!” Essi finally pulled a black dress from her closet and appraised it before handing it to Emilia.

“Isn’t this a little short?” Emilia asked as she moved to the mirror and held the dress against her body. It was pretty, the neckline plunged a little lower than she would have liked and only came to her upper thigh, but would accentuate her curves nicely.

“Only if you’re planning on becoming a nun in the near future,” Essi answered sarcastically as she selected a red dress for herself.

Emilia rolled her eyes and stalked off to her own bedroom to quickly change into the dress and nodded at her reflection in the mirror. As she smoothed the fabric over her abdomen she wondered briefly if such an outfit would send Ville the wrong message.

“Jesus, do you want to keep that? It looks a thousand times better on you than it does on me.”

“When else would I have the occasion to wear this?”

Essi chuckled at her sister and handed her a tube of red lipstick before taking a look at her own reflection. “The next time you want to bring every man in Helsinki to his knees of course.”

Emilia smirked and applied the lipstick she’d been offered and then handed it back to her sister before sifting through the pile of clothes still on her bed. Once she found the leather jacket she’d been looking for, she slipped it on and then put on the pair of black pumps Essi had brought into the room as well.

Tonight was the first time in days that Emilia felt like a real person. She’d spend the past forty eight hours moping around the house in oversized sweaters and sweatpants, looking and feeling every bit as awful as she felt. Somewhere in the depths of her heart she knew that she’d made a decision that she’d be glad of someday. It was getting to the ’someday’ part that was hard.

All of her thoughts were of Ville. She’d spent her nights reminiscing over the scant amount of time they’d spent together since they’d been reunited and found herself wishing he was around to talk to and offer her comfort in her self-imposed misery. She’d spent her days staring at either her cellphone or the front door wishing he’d call or show up. Then she’d promptly admonish herself each time for desiring such things. There had been a time in their friendship when her asking for alone time had been something he would have promptly ignored. Ten years had proven that was no longer the case; he’d gotten too used to the silence it seemed.

“You ready to go? The cab is here.”

Essi’s voice broke her reverie and she nodded as she grabbed for her purse and cellphone. Quickly following her sister outside to the cab, she instantly regretted having worn a dress in the winter. Thankfully, the cab was warm and Emilia hugged her arms around her body to keep from shivering. Essi only smirked at her sister and shook her head.

“When are you going to accept the fact that you were literally bred for this weather?”

“Never. Someday I’ll get the guts to move closer to the equator where I’ll be happy and warm.”

They continued the ride to the bar in near silence. With every passing moment, the butterflies that had taken up residence in Emilia’s stomach grew significantly more active. She breathed in deeply and slowly and released long breaths, trying to reign them in but they only continued to rebel. Essi sensed the tension rolling off her sister and reached over to take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

“You okay?” Essi asked finally as they rounded a corner. It would be only a few moments more before they reached their destination.

“Fine. Why?” Emilia responded quickly, her voice strained. Essi raised an eyebrow in her sister’s direction.

“Oh, I don’t know. You’ve been bouncing your leg for the last fifteen minutes and I’m fairly certain that sweaty palms aren’t part of your normal state of being.”

Emilia pulled her hands back and rubbed them against her legs, glaring at her sister when she discovered that they weren’t actually damp.

“I’m fine, just…anxious I guess. I haven’t heard from Ville since the other night and I don’t know if he still wants me to be here.”

“He does,” Essi replied confidently. “Besides, he’s probably just been in hiding since Mum figured out it was the two of you who destroyed her front door.”

“It looks better than it did when it was red,” Emilia answered defensively.

“Either way, I wouldn’t be worried about him giving you exactly what you asked for.”

The cab pulled to a stop outside of the bar and Essi reached forward and handed the driver a few bills before the two girls climbed out of the backseat. People were still lined up outside, trying to gain entrance to the venue. It seemed that they were about at capacity as it was and the girls earned more than a few glares for skipping the line and announcing their names to a man guarding the door.

Emilia cast a glance at her sister, wondering how she would have known they would be on a list. Essi made no comment about it as she showed the man her identification and was allowed to pass. Emilia offered her own identification and quickly followed her sister inside.

Her assessment of the bar being crowded had been very much correct. Bodies were tightly packed in clusters around tables and on the floor in front of the stage. Essi gestured toward the bar and snaked her way through the crowd so that she could get them something to drink. Emilia hung back, preferring not to get crushed between the people trying to follow Essi through the throng toward the bar. Instead she hung back and looked at the stage as the crew continued to set up.

“You here alone?”

Emilia bristled as a man’s voice sounded in her ear, the accent clearly American. She turned and found a tall man with dark hair that was in casual disarray standing behind her, looking at her body appreciatively. She tugged down the hem of her skirt self-consciously and shook her head.

“No.” She answered shortly. The man’s cocky smile and over-confident demeanor irked her slightly.

“That’s too bad,” he replied.

“For you.”

Mercifully, Essi appeared from the crowd holding two drinks in her hands and offering one to Emilia. She took it gratefully and took a long sip off it. Essi stared at the man who was still hovering beside Emilia, who was casually ignoring him.

“Can I help you?” Essi asked the man with an edge to her voice. He smirked and held his hands up to signal his defeat and he backed away slowly. Emilia followed his retreating form to a large booth in the corner that held a bunch of men who razzed their friend upon his strikeout. Upon closer inspection of the group, Emilia’s eyes widened in recognition.

“What the hell?” She said out loud as she tugged on her sister’s jacket sleeve and nodded toward the table. She made her way toward it with Essi following closely behind, quite confused.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the show?” Emilia asked as she turned Mige around by the shoulder and pulled him into a hug. At first he was shocked but quickly recovered and hugged her back and then hugging Essi as well.

“Probably, but that’s what we hire the stage crew for. Besides, I dare you to name a better way to prepare for a show besides alcohol. Takes the edge off.”

“Fair enough,” Emilia laughed as she looked around the faces now staring at her.

“Mige, you know her? And you let me just walk up to her like that?” The dark haired man asked with contempt in his voice. The other men at the table laughed once again at their friend’s misfortune.

“To be honest, I hoped she’d slap you Knoxville but she showed a surprising amount of restraint. You’re lucky,” Mige replied as he chugged the remainder of his beer. The man flipped Mige off and laughed before he stood and offered his hand to Emilia.

“My apologies, my name is Johnny.”

“You’re forgiven,” Emilia accepted his hand. “I’m Emilia, this is my older sister Essi.”

“There’s two of you in the same family?” Johnny exclaimed as he took Essi’s hand and kissed it. She smiled and took a sip of her drink to hide her immense satisfaction. Mige introduced the other six men seated at the table as Ryan Dunn, Steve-O, Brandon DiCamillo, Brandon Novak, Dave England, and Raab Himself.

The sounds of instruments being tuned on stage earned the attention of all present and Mige swore loudly before he finished off his beer and wiped his mouth as he set the empty glass on the table. “See you after the show guys. Emilia, you and Essi come with me. You can watch side stage if you want.”

Essi grinned and quickly followed Mige as he made his way toward the stage. Emilia waved goodbye to the group and then joined her friend and sister on their trek through the bar. Mige opened the door that led to the back and allowed the girls to go before him and he pointed to a small hallway off to the right.

“Just head down there and you’ll get to the area you can hang out and watch the show. Bam should be down there, don’t be too put off by him. I’ll catch you guys afterward.”

Mige hugged Emilia quickly and headed further down the main hallway before disappearing through another doorway. Essi shrugged and headed in the direction Mige had pointed them and Emilia followed suit, a little wary of this Bam character if Mige had felt the need to warn them of him beforehand. She climbed a small staircase and found herself looking out at the small stage.

“That Johnny guy was cute. If only he didn’t laugh like that…” Essi commented as she looked around at the bustle backstage.

“Yeah, too bad about that,” Emilia replied distractedly. She would never have admitted that she was looking for Ville though she knew perfectly well that he would have been wherever Mige had disappeared to. Still, she scanned the faces of those backstage for a particular one, finding herself disappointed by his absence.

“He’ll be out here soon, chill out.” Essi laughed as she caught her sister observing every person in sight. Emilia blushed.

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Em replied. She crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

“Please, will you just admit you’re in love with him and be done with it?”

“It doesn’t matter, Es. I’ve made my decision. Besides, shouldn’t you be happy about it?”

“I’m never happy when you’re not, you should know that by now. I just want you to be happy and if part of that happiness includes Ville then I would rather him be around than not.”

“My happiness doesn’t hinge off his presence in my life.”

“Could have fooled me,” Essi answered before producing her phone from her jacket pocket. Before Emilia could reply she held up the phone. “I’m going to check on Osku before the show. I’ll be right back.”

Emilia’s protest died on her lips and she nodded before returning her attention to the activity going on around her. Essi descended the staircase and wandered down the hallway a bit before she began scanning through her contacts.

It had taken a lot of careful planning but Essi and Linde were pretty confident that they’d crafted a plan that would at the very least, get Ville and Emilia to talk everything out. Linde had been pretty surprised to hear from Essi at all but he’d become worried about Emilia as soon as Essi told her everything that had happened. He had known how much Ville had missed Emilia and it hurt him to know his two friends were in so much pain.

She waited as the phone rang before Linde finally picked up on the other end.

“The plan is a go,” she said without any preamble and she could practically hear his exasperation on the other end.

“She’s so damn stubborn. Okay, I’ll do my part. You just make sure she’s where she needs to be,” Linde answered quickly.

Meanwhile, Emilia backed up against the wall as soon as someone walked by with both an acoustic guitar and bass. She smiled politely at the man as he walked by and ignored her presence and she sighed. A soft, feminine laugh sounded nearby and the woman it belonged to made her way toward Emilia.

The woman was pretty. She had sharp features and skin that was fair but more tanned than Emilia’s had ever been in her entire life. Her long dark hair hung past her shoulders and she had a smile that hinted at a little deviousness in her character.

“It’s almost like they forget their manners when they’re running around back here,” she commented referring to the crew member that had bustled past.

“It’s really incredible. Maybe if I had some guitar strings attached to me then I’d be worthy of their notice,” Emilia chuckled.

The woman offered a smile and her hand. “Jonna.”

“Emilia.”

“Are you with someone or did you get passes?” Jonna asked as the crowd started to cheer. The women turned their attention to the stage.

“I’m friends with the band. I’ve known some of the members for years. You?”

She smiled and hid it with her hand as she blushed. “Well, I really shouldn’t say since anything isn’t really official…”

Emilia nodded and was prepared to accept that answer but the woman was practically bursting at the seams. She watched as Mige emerged from the opposite side of the stage followed closely by Linde and two other men she didn’t know. Her friends smiled in her direction but their faces soon fell as their eyes fell upon the woman standing beside her. She gave them a questioning look but they were exchanging glances with each other as they prepared their instruments.

Suddenly Ville burst from the side stage and the crowd erupted in a fresh wave of cheers. He grinned cheekily at the crowd and murmured a greeting into the microphone. Emilia found herself smirking at his presence onstage. He had grown so much as a performer since she’d last seen the guys play and they hadn’t even begun to play.

“That one is the reason I’m here,” Jonna said as she gestured to Ville and Emilia felt her entire body go numb. “I’m sort of sleeping with him. Don’t judge though, I’m not a groupie or anything.”

Emilia swallowed hard and tried hard to behave normally. She emitted a strangled laugh and shrugged off the bit of information she’d been told. “No judgement here.”

The woman smiled and cheered as the music began. Essi suddenly appeared at Emilia’s side and gave her an inquiring look as to who the strange woman was beside her sister. Emilia bit down hard on her lip, fighting the tears that stung her eyes.

“Looks like Ville has moved on,” Emilia told Essi morosely as Ville began to sing.