Let Me Be the One to Save You

I woke up to bright sunlight flooding through the uncovered window and a headache that almost immediately made me close my eyes again. I pulled the warm blankets further up my body letting my throbbing skull rest against the pillow. I wanted nothing more but to stay right here in my bed for the rest of the day but I knew I couldn't, I had to get up. My brain pounded from the alcohol I had been practically forced to consume last night and I desperately was in need of a cigarette and coffee.

With one last inhale of the still air around me I allowed my eyes to pop open again, this time slowly to adjust to the harsh sunlight that spread in rays around my messy dorm room. The misfits poster I had hung up the first day sat against the far wall over my desk.The top corner of it had been dismounted from the tape that had lost its stickiness and fell in front of the glossy black paper lazily. I moved my eyes below it to look at the black digital clock. The red letters mockingly read 11:59Am almost teasing me at the fact that I had slept in way too late and it was time to get up.

Slipping from my warm bed I stood up straight, groaning at the feeling of my sore joints popping as I did so. I walked to my brown dresser and pulled out black jeans and a black v-neck and dressed quickly, discarding my pajamas back into my bed. I shoved my feet into my combat boots and then looked around the room trying to collect my thoughts and think of what I needed.

I had clothes at the house still which made things a lot easier going every weekend. When it came to packing for things I was terrible at it which again was a good thing that I went home every weekend because I was constantly forgetting things at the house. After collecting everything I needed, including my phone and packet of cigarettes, I left my dorm and headed for the parking lot.

I had originally had a roommate but a week before move in she dropped out randomly leaving me with a room to myself. I was disappointed when it happened originally, the whole reason I had wanted to dorm was to make new friends. It was more of Frank's ideas actually. I came to find though after a month that I was lucky to have a room all to myself and the privacy was something I was grateful for.

In high school I only had one person that I Could consider a friend but she moved away my junior year. I had Frank though, he was only in the year above me and we were almost inseparable so this meant his friends were my friends. Whenever he went to parties or shows I would tag along and that's how it always had been.

Ever since Frank was a freshmen he had been playing shows at almost every bar or small club in New Jersey, hopping from band to band until a year ago when he settled with his band pency prep. They played a good amount of shows and I always loved going to see my brother on stage.

After the grueling twenty minute walk to the parking lot that included a stop for a coffee, I had made it to where my car sat. It had been sitting there since last Sunday when I had returned from the last weekend at home.

The door opened with a loud squeak from the rusting hinges and I dropped into the soft leather seats. Trash littered the floor of the passenger seat and I had to chuck a half empty water bottle into the back seat just so I could put my coffee cup in the holder. I turned the car on, immediately having to twist the volume down at the loud music that flooded the car and slammed against my already pounding head.

I lifted a cigarette and put it between my lips before pulling the car out of the space and onto the New York streets towards home. The buildings I drove by had always mesmerized me ever since I was a small child.

Vivid memories of my parents bringing me and Frank to the city flooded my brain. Back when we were innocent naive children, back before my mother left and my we were an actual family. Playing in Central Park was something me and Frank always loved doing as kids, considering nearly every park we grew up near was dangerous. We weren't aloud to run around outside or take walks to the local park because just that morning a body would be found in the river beside it.

This meant me and Frank both spent a lot of the time in the house as we grew up, him staying in his room to play music while I drew pictures. We never minded though, spending time alone , with each other and as a one family was always the best memories I had of childhood.

But like anything good in life, it was bound to change. The happy dinners soon turned into arguments, the long car rides seemed suffocating as our parents yelled at each other for every little thing. Happiness was soon replaced with tension until one day my mother left, abandoning her two children without as much of a goodbye.

I rolled down my window and crack and chucked the cigarette I had now finished out onto the pavement. Instantly I light up another and pushed it against my lips. My fingers gripped the leather steering wheel tightly as I tried to drain my brain of these thoughts. The same ones that were responsible for me losing sleep constantly.

After driving for nearly an hour due to traffic, I finally pulled up to the two story house I grew up in. I parked my car next to franks noticing my dad's was missing.

I cut the engine and stepped out of the car. Immediately I heard the faint noise of loud music pumping from somewhere in the house, obviously franks doing. I dropped my cigarette and crunched it against the driveway before walking up the small pathway.

I tried the front door and wasn't surprised when I found it unlocked and waiting to be open. My eyes rolled at this, Frank never locked the doors. When I was in the house music flooded my ears letting me know exactly where Frank was.

I walked through the house and headed up the wooden stairs. Pictures of me and Frank from as early as birth lined the tan walls. I cringed at the matching outfits my parents had dressed us in.

When I made it to franks door I could now identify the once noise as the misfits. I shoved the door open to Frank sitting on his bed, his white guitar sitting on the bed beside him and a black notebook and pen in his hands.

"Are you trying to make the whole neighborhood dead?!" I screamed trying to make my voice loud over the music.

His head snapped up and immediately a smirk fell upon his pierced lip. He instantly let his notebook close before he stood off the bed and moved to the stereo.

"They could use some good music! I heard the neighbors across the street listening to trap music in their car yesterday" he said once the music was turned off.

I chuckled at him and welcomed the hug he offered quickly.

"What they listen to is none of your business, even if it's shit" I said towards my brother who only let out one of his famous chuckles in return.

"Yeah yeah whatever you say, how was the drive? You forgot to call me when you were leaving I thought you were still sleeping" he said teasingly.

"I know I'm sorry I was out with Austin late last night and woke up with a huge hang over" I explained and I watched as he rolled his eyes more than likely at austins name.

"Don't even start" I warned pointing a finger at him. He lifted his hands in surrender.

"I won't I won't alright so since you said hangover let's go to the diner? They always fix a nasty hangover"

At his suggestion my stomach growled on demand making both me and him laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Yeah defiantly, I haven't had an actual meal since breakfast yesterday" I said recalling the fact that I had only ate crappy snacks at the party's we went to.

Franks eyes narrowed at me disapprovingly as he pulled on his black denim jacket.

"Whys that?" He asked as we walked out of his room and down the stairs.

"Well I was asleep for lunch as you know and then there was food at the parties we went to last night but it sucked" I shrugged casually.

We got into franks car and he had to turn the radio down much like I had to when he got in.

"Alright, just promise me you're eating again" he said hesitantly.

I sucked in a breath and looked out the window as the car pulled down the street.

"Frank I'm fine, I just forgot people forget to eat in college" I argued

" But when you do it sometimes it's not forgetting" he reminded.

In high school I had been a tad bit over weight and instead of handling it like I should have I did it the opposite. After a year of doing that Frank and my dad caught on and I went back to eating as normal as I could but I still skipped the occasional meal not on purpose but of habit.

"Frank I promise I just forgot I'm fine" I said, raising my voice slightly. I wasn't in the mood to start this not right now.

He remained silent after that and instead turned the volume up on the radio. We road in a comfortable silence until we got to the diner

We got out of the car and walked side by side into the small place. We had been coming to this place every Saturday since we could walk ourselves safely.

"Hey Frank hey Jess! Take a seat anywhere I'll be over in a second" Sandra, the middle aged waitress called from the counter where she was filling coffee pots.

Me and Frank smiled at her and walked towards the red leathered booth. We fell into the seats just in time for Sandra to place two steaming mugs of coffee in front of us.

"You two are here later than usual" she commented while placing the small bowls filled with creamers and sugar.

"Well this one was too busy sleeping in and didn't come home until about thirty minutes ago" frank commented shooting me a playful smirk to witch a rolled my eyes at.

"Oh like you were up at the crack of dawn"

"I was up before you" he shot back, folding his hands across his chest.

I shook my head and took a long sip of my coffee, slowing the black liquid to burn the back of my throat as it went down.

"You two always crack me up, do you guys want the menus or are you just having the usual?"

"I'm good with the usual, how about you Jess?" Frank asked as he dumped cream into his coffee.

"The usual is good for me, thanks Sandra"

She smiled warmly at us and stood up straighter.

"Of course, it'll be out as soon as possible for you two"

With that she walked away leaving us to sit silently.

"Listen jess, I'm sorry to bring that up earlier" frank began hesitantly, trying to walk gently on the subject.

I sighed deeply from the black coffee mug and placed it on the table before looking out the window on my left.

The window faced the parking lot portion of the building that was tucked between another brick building.

"It's fine Frank I just, I'm fine alright?"

"Jess you're always fine, I'm just trying to make sure you're actually okay. I just care alright?"

I looked up at my brother and placed my hand gently on top of his briefly. I could see the look in his eyes and it instantly made me feel sad. He worried too much about me, he always had but I didn't blame him. I did the same for him. It was a side affect of growing up so close to each other.

"Thank you for caring as much as you do, really frank it means a lot to me you know that but just know if something's wrong I'll come to you got it?"

He sighed deeply again but nodded at me in a response.

"I just don't want you to get like you did your sophomore year"

His words made me look out the window again, avoiding his gaze. The events that took place that year was something I tried to overcome so many times but without fail I was always reminded of it.

"Frank I was young and confused, I know better."

He went to open his mouth again but I gripped his hand looking into his eyes.

"Please, can we just stop talking about this? I appreciate you caring so much but I just want to drop it right now"

He nodded and pushed the mug to his lips.

"Where was dad by the way? I thought he didn't work on weekends?" I asked suddenly remembering he wasn't there this morning.

"Oh he was at gramps house, think he said they were fixing the back deck but I can't exactly remember"

I nodded in return at this just as the waitress appeared in front of us holding two white plates.

"Here you go kids, if you need anything else just holler"

Me and Frank thanked her and almost instantly I began to dig into my bacon and cheese omelet white Frank drowned his pancakes in syrup.

"I don't get how you do that" I pointed out towards his plate that was overloaded with the shiny liquid gold.

He shrugged his shoulders, cut a large piece of the dough and popped it into his mouth.

"I could ask you the same thing with that bacon in your omelet" he said pointing his sticky fork towards my plate of food.

I laughed and knocked his fork with my knife creating a light 'cling noise'.

" At least I can enjoy the pleasure that is meat mister vegetarian" I shot teasingly at him.

He rolled his eyes and ignored my comment.

"So anyway what's the plan for tonight? Are you playing a show?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. Usually on Saturday's his band either played a show or we went to one.

"Not tonight, next Saturday we got a gig but tonight! shit I totally forgot to tell you about tonight!" His voice had raised dramatically at his sudden brain surge.

" what's going on tonight?" I questioned

"These dudes that practice in the space next to us, they got this sick band and they're playing their first show tonight! I'm telling you these guys are amazing, they play after our practice time so I almost always sit in and listen, they're going to be huge."

I watched franks face flush with excitement. This was the way he always got when he listened to new bands locally, he was always befriending other band members. He loved the scene.

"It's their first show? So they're a new band?"

"Kind of, they've been around for almost a year but the singer hadn't felt really ready yet until now, I'm telling you you're going to love them. Their music is amazing but on top of that they're all great guys, two of them are actually brothers, the singer and bass player. I actually spent the night over their house on Thursday"

I smiled at his rambling but also found myself intrigued as well. After all the shows Frank had brought me to my love for the music scene had grown dramatically over the years and I loved seeing new bands almost as much as Frank did.

"Well I can't wait to meet them and hear them play, where are they playing?"

Sandra came by quickly and silently collected our empty plates, leaving a slip of paper on the table.

"They're playing the draft at eight, opening for a few bigger bands by I know that everyone will be blown away by them" he explained before quickly setting down two bills much to my dismay.

I shot a glare towards him but he simply played it off as nothing and jumped out of the booth.

"Well I can't wait" I said, pulling myself out of the lumpy booth.

We walked out of the diner with a wave to the staff and into the parking lot. It was practically abandoned seeing it was around 3 pm and everyone had already had breakfast and lunch.

"So I figured we could go take a ride to the music store and then go home for awhile before we go out, I have to get a new amp chord mine sounds like shit"

I pulled open the passenger side door and fell into franks car.

"We can do whatever you want, I'm all yours"

Frank looked at me with a goofy grin, one that made my own fall upon my lips as he turned the car on.

"God it's good to have you back for the weekend"

I smiled and relaxed into the seats of my brothers car while he shoved a Thursday CD into the slot, watching the familiar New Jersey streets fly by me.