A Little Bit Older

I hadn’t had a real date in ages. Sure, Matt and I had gone on fake dates plenty of times over the few months when we’d been faking dating but it felt more serious this time. There was more at stake now. The worst part of it all was that I had no intention of giving him a shot. I had agreed hoping that afterwards he would no longer pursue me. However, I knew that it wouldn’t be easy because part of me wanted to give in more. He had been doing everything right and I had no reason to keep avoiding him. It would be easier for both of us if I just broke and went with it.

That was why I had called in Michelle to help me get ready. I wanted things to be perfect. She helped me with my hair, my make-up, picking out my outfit. In short, all the things that I knew I could rely on her for. She had been slightly upset with me for ignoring her and not keeping her up to date with everything happening between Matt and I. And, honestly, I felt bad for neglecting her as of late as well. After I explained to her how I was feeling with everything – my relationship with Matt, my feelings of just tagging along to Meg’s life, the business of work and having new friends – she understood and we were able to make up.

She agreed to help me on the promise that I get in touch with Val and Lacey as well since they both apparently missed me; and the boys were also very confused about why I’d just disappeared from their lives. At the end of it all, I not only was perfectly dressed for my date but I was also feeling more inclined to give into Matt desire to try being a real couple. I hadn’t realized how interconnected our lives had become, but as soon as Michelle mentioned River and Cash I knew I couldn’t pull myself away from them forever. Sure, they were young now and would forget me eventually, but it still wasn’t fair to punish them for my own tumultuous relationship with their father.

When Matt finally picked me up, I was nervous to say the least. I felt like a teenage girl and that made it a lot harder to pretend that I was confident in myself. In short, I was ready to give in the moment I got into his car. I was ready to break and just tell him how I felt and go along with him. But I kept my head about me, I didn’t want to get too emotional just yet.

“Do you remember this place?” He asked as he pulled into the diner parking lot where we’d gone on our first fake date.

“The toast here was fantastic.” I groaned, having already decided that I was going to treat him like nothing had happened. The best way to have a date was to not bring any bad feelings to the table, in my opinion.

“I thought you’d like it! You like diner food more than any girl I’ve ever met.”

“That’s because diner’s always have the best breakfast food. I went nearly 6 years without a quality American breakfast.” I reminded him and he laughed pulling the door open for me.

“True. You’re in luck though, because this is my favorite place to eat out too.”

We found a table and were both able to order easily since we just the same thing as we had the time before. The nostalgia was easy to feel and I was glad he’d picked somewhere lowkey for our date, just in case I got carried away with my emotions and accidentally started crying or something silly like that.

“Tell me how you’ve been!” I started trying to keep the air between us light so that we could avoid the inevitable apologies as long as possible. I wanted this to feel natural and like a fresh page for us without any of the ink from the other side bleeding into it.

“Busy. We’re almost done with the album, so we’re thinking about doing some festivals this summer. It’s in the final mixing stages now.”

“Exciting. It’s going to be weird when you’re gone on tour.” I confessed and he nodded.

“It always is. It makes coming home even better though. We’re probably going to do an American tour this fall and then hit Europe next spring.”

“Anywhere near my old stomping ground?”

“Nah, nothing in Southern France.” He said and I sighed. As much as I loved California, I missed that Mediterranean vibe a lot.

“Damn. Nothing fun in that.” I concluded and he laughed at me.

“What about you? How’s work been?”

I explained how work had been going and told him about my closer relationship with Tara and Julie. Without really intending to, I even explained how I wanted to make more friends of my own because I felt like I was living through Meghan’s life too much.

“You know that’s not true though. We all like having you around. You and Meghan are similar but you both offer different personalities.”

“I know, I know. It’s just hard to explain. It’s just an independence thing. Meghan and I have always been close, but we’ve never been close to this extent. Like we’ve never shared friends like this.”

“I get that, but it’s still nothing to feel bad about.”

“I know. I know. Enough about me. How are the boys? I haven’t seen them in ages.” I asked in an effort to change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about anything that too serious. It was technically a first date after all.

“They really miss you. Cash especially. Val’s pretty sure he likes you more than her.” He replied with a laugh.

“That’s not possible. I think he only likes me because I give him food.”

“I’m sure it’s more than that, but I’m sure that helps. I’m pretty sure you only like me because I give you food.” He retorted and I smiled, a real smile that made it all the way to my eyes.

“No, no. It’s definitely more than that. Although, the food helps.” I told him seriously before tossing in a playful wink.

“You winked at me!” He exclaimed pointing at me accusingly.

“I might have, so what if I did?” I laughed in response.

“It was flirty.” He whispered shyly and I could feel my cheeks heat up at how cautiously he said it. It was just like a first date.

“Maybe just a little. You have that effect on me sometimes.” I confessed and gave him a coy smile.

“Ruby, thank you for coming out with me tonight.” He whispered reaching across the table and taking my hands in his. “I know-“

“Shut up.” I cut him off and shook my head. “I was stubborn. We both made mistakes. Thank you for asking me to come out tonight and for not giving up on me.” I whispered in response.

“What do you say to heading home and having a movie night?” He asked and I pretended to think about his proposition dramatically.

“Well, I don’t know…” I started before breaking out in a large smile and nodding. “Where and what movie?”

“My place? I’ll let you pick any movie out of the collection.”

“The collection of animated kid’s movies?” I asked with a laugh and he nodded.

“Absolutely.”

“Tell me you have How to Train Your Dragon and you’ll have a deal.”

“I’m pretty sure we have both.”

“A man after my heart.” I said as we got up from the table. Matt paid the bill and then lead me to the car. He opened the door for me and helped me in, even though I didn’t need the help. He truly was after my heart, and admittedly, he was winning it progressively more every day.