From Darkness

We were still lying in bed when Elena came up the stairs. I had my head on Bucky’s chest, but I was still breathing hard, and my legs were wrapped around him. We didn’t say anything for a long time, and I don’t think we wanted to. He wrapped his arms around me, and we stayed just like that. Waiting or just not caring, I didn’t know. But Bucky heard her before I did.

“Elena’s coming,” he said. I lifted my head and looked at him through my messy hair.

“I should get dressed,” I said. He groaned and didn’t let me go.

“Or you can just hide under the blankets while I answer the door.”

“My recovery rate isn’t that good.”

“I can change that.” I wiggled out of his grip.

“Jeez,” I muttered. By the time I got to my feet, she was knocking on the door. I reached for Bucky’s shirt to put it on, and he slapped me on the ass, taking his sweet time getting to his feet.

“One second,” he said as he jumped out of my reach so I couldn’t smack him back. Then he yanked on some jeans and grabbed a shirt to cover the metal. He was faster than I was, so I approached cautiously behind him, wearing his shirt like a dress.

He got the door open and looked out. They shared a few words in Romanian, but she didn’t try to come in. I could only make out bits and pieces. Then he shut the door and leaned against it.

“Good news? Bad news?” I asked. He lifted his head and looked at me, standing in the living room, pulling at the shirt to keep myself covered. Then he lurched toward me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and hoisted me up under his arm like a suitcase. I yelped as he carried me back to bed.

“Good news is that we’ll live,” he said, dropping me back onto the mattress. He stood on his knees and pulled his shirt back off over his head. He had scratches and marks on his chest and neck, and few things brought me more joy than seeing evidence of me on his skin.

“What’s the bad news?” I asked, dragging my foot up between his legs.

“Bad news is that we’ll be too tired and sore to work tomorrow.” He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them back down. “Well, at least you will be. My recovery rate is spectacular, remember?” He returned to my side and pulled the blanket over us. I turned so I could face him and slid my leg between his.

“I don’t know,” I remarked. “Mine seems to be improving.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

“I’ll say.” He kissed me a few more times before pushing me down and then sliding his hand between my thighs to squeeze me. “Fifteen-minute break. Third time’s the charm.”

“James Barnes, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” Then his lips were on mine again, and he was pushing my legs apart. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, but he’d been right about one thing. I was definitely a ‘panic after the fact’ kind of person. He must have seen the expression change because he pulled back and held my face in his hand.

“Hey,” he said, serious now. “I was only joking. We don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to.” Then I laughed and held his face in my hands.

“It’s not that,” I sniffed. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.” He nodded slowly.

“I told you.”

“Yeah, you were right.” He leaned on his elbow so he could run his thumb under my eye.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m just—glad—to be here with you.” His eyebrows rose.

“Really? In a shithole apartment in Bucharest? On a mattress on the floor?” I nodded

“I mean—it’s not perfect, but—life is imperfect, right? I’m just—glad that the person I get to be imperfect with is you.”

“And you aren’t saying this because we might die. The threat has lifted.” I laughed again and shut my eyes. Then I sniffed again and shook my head.

“Threat of global destruction has passed, but I guess I don’t want the honesty to go with it. Or this—spending the entire day in bed together thing.” He kissed me again. Softly. Gently.

“Honesty, always. Spending the entire day in bed, frequently. Just you know—hopefully without the threat of global destruction. Sound like a deal?” I nodded.

“Sounds perfect.”

Then he went back to kissing me roughly. My lips were already sensitive, and my face felt raw from scratching against his stubble. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I was sore the next day either. Maybe we were still in the honeymoon phase, or coming down from the adrenaline rush of nearly dying, or just the high of admitting things we usually kept bottled up. I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t care. As long as we stayed in bed until we couldn’t anymore.

“Then while we’re still admitting things,” he said, pulling away to position himself between my legs. I wrapped them around his waist, and he never even bothered to pull the shirt off me. “I never thought I’d be happy again.” I swept his hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. Maybe I was already emotional, but my eyes welled up with tears again, and I nodded.

“I didn’t think I would be either,” I admitted. He kissed me and worked the shirt up past my ribs. He only pulled away again to yank it off.

“Fifteen minutes is too long to wait,” he decided. Then he tossed the shirt across the room.

“Jeez, you’re an animal,” I muttered.