Status: Complete.
Scribbles of a Broken Heart
House Vist (Part 2)
It was an odd feeling, me leading Garrett to my room by the hand. The importance of tomorrow loomed over me, but I smiled back at Garrett even though there was fluttering in my stomach. I turned to the right and led him down the hallway to my room, where the door was already open and the various shades of all my purple things could be seen.
Our sock-covered feet hit the white carpet and I closed the door as soon as we were inside. Garrett started to walk around, looking at the things on my dresser and the pictures on the mirror, while I sat down on my bed and watched.
“No posters?”
I shook my head as I took a look at my bare white walls, “My parents think they’re dumb.”
Garrett scoffed and moved to my open closet. He whistled, “You have a lot of clothes.”
“Uhmm, I’m pretty sure I’d get arrested for nudity other wise.”
“Well,” he turned to face me, “answer me this. If you have all of these clothes,” he went to the most right of the closet space and then walked backwards, dragging his fingers along dresses, then dress pants, then skirts, then blouses, and lastly my school uniform, “why are you wearing that shirt again?” He pointed his chin to upper body.
My mouth fell open, “You remember this shirt?”
“Yeah,” he walked over and sat to the right of me, “you wore it on that dress down day we had to raise money for that homeless shelter.”
I was stunned, “…Do you remember everything I wear?”
“No,” he snorted, “but you looked really hot in that shirt.”
I stood up and eased myself onto his lap, “And what about now?”
He placed a kiss on my neck, “You look hot in that shirt.”
I bit my lip to stifle a giggle as I rested my head on his shoulder. I caressed his arm with the tip of my finger, starting as his wrist and working my way up under the loose sleeves of his shirt.
“I’m really nervous,” I confessed.
“Me too.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?” I asked softly. “What if you were right and I end up more screwed than I was before? What if we get even more screwed over?”
“What if everything works out was planned?” He countered. “What if your parents really do care more about your grades than you dating? What if they let us be together without the lying and hiding and the secrets?”
“It’s win all or lose all, huh?”
He wrapped his arm around my middle as his other hand came to stroke my hair. “We can still be together, maybe not as a couple, but just in the literal sense.”
I shook my head, causing my cheek to rub against the cotton covering his chest. “If I can’t sway them tomorrow they’ll probably have a tracking system put into my skin or something,” I said in a lighter tone.
He laughed, “Don’t think about tomorrow. I’ll still love you then and the day after. Think and feel like there’s only a now, and not a later.”
I lifted my head to look at him, “That was so deep.”
“I read it off of my mom’s inspirational calendar. I mean, only the last part, not the ‘I love you’ part.”
I laughed and leaned against him once more. “I love you too.” I sighed, content with the silence. Everything felt so right, him and I in my room, just holding each other. But I couldn’t help but wonder about what tomorrow would bring me, what it would do to us. I did not know what I would do if I was forced to lose him again, and my parents would make seeing him in secret near impossible. If only they understood that my feelings for him were genuine, past puppy love and die-hard crushes. They didn’t know that I gave him a nonrefundable part of my heart.
“Hey, what did you want to show me?” He asked after clearing his throat.
“Oh, right,” I swallowed and slid off of his lap. I walked to the opposite end of the room, where my school backpack laid, and got on my knees to dig through it. “Promise you won’t freak out.”
His eyebrows rose, “As long as you don’t have a gun or some sort of weapon in there, I think I’ll be fine.”
I found what I was looking for and put it behind my back as I turned to face him.
“Oh, oh, did you get me a present?!” His eyes lit up as his lips formed a smile.
I giggled, “Sorta kinda.”
Garrett was getting anxious, “What is it?”
“Promise me you won’t laugh either, ‘kay?”
“I promise. On my love of Pringles I promise I won’t even smile.”
I bit my lip, “No, I want you to smile.” By now I was standing right in front of him, for once looking downwards to see his face.
He cocked a curious eyebrow before I slowly removed my hands from behind me to hold the object in front of his face.
I careful watched Garret as I bit the inside of my cheek tenderly. Rushes of nervousness overtook my stomach with each passing by of a silent second.
“That…is a…condom,” he finally exhaled.
His mouth was open and his eyes were fixed on the item until I tossed it into his lap, my arm getting tired. I sat on his left and continued to look at his awestruck face.
“Thoughts?”
“Condoms aren’t funny,” he said after picking it up and examining it.
I shrugged, “Not really, no.”
“Where’d you get it?”
“Planned Parenthood over on Zooman Street,” I replied as I fell back on purple stripes.
Garrett angled his legs so that most of his body was facing towards me, “Does this mean what I think it means?”
I looked down and shyly replied, “Yeah.”
His lips slightly parted and his eyes became a little squinted, as if he couldn’t fully grasp what I was saying. “But why? I thought…I thought you wouldn’t ever let yourself.”
“So did I, but things change.”
“What if you get pregnant? What if your parents find out?”
“I won’t, and they won’t,” I assured him with confidence, a lot of it false. “I want you to be my first. And it just feels right, you know? Like, to have sex with you just seems so natural; there are no forced emotions in my mind. And it’s an important day, it seems like the perfect time.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I mean, if you still want to.” I was starting to get worried. Maybe his feelings were different.
“No, no,” he said quickly. “I still want to. Believe me, I really do. But I need to make sure that this is what you want. That this is really what you want.”
I nodded, “It is. I’m ready, and I want you to be the one.”
He smiled and extended his hand to stroke my cheek with his thumb.
“But, understand this,” I added. “No matter what happens tomorrow, this’ll probably be a one-time thing. By chance we can be together, I don’t plan on becoming sexually active.”
He nodded his head slightly and many times, “I’m cool with that.”
Garrett took off the dog tag I gave him and he took the silver ring off of the chain. He picked up my right hand and slid it on my thumb.
“That’s yours no matter what,” he told me.
I sat up and took the necklace from his hands. I refastened it and put it over his head. Then I grabbed the dog tag and pulled his face close and whispered, “As is my virginity,” before kissing him hard on the mouth.
Our sock-covered feet hit the white carpet and I closed the door as soon as we were inside. Garrett started to walk around, looking at the things on my dresser and the pictures on the mirror, while I sat down on my bed and watched.
“No posters?”
I shook my head as I took a look at my bare white walls, “My parents think they’re dumb.”
Garrett scoffed and moved to my open closet. He whistled, “You have a lot of clothes.”
“Uhmm, I’m pretty sure I’d get arrested for nudity other wise.”
“Well,” he turned to face me, “answer me this. If you have all of these clothes,” he went to the most right of the closet space and then walked backwards, dragging his fingers along dresses, then dress pants, then skirts, then blouses, and lastly my school uniform, “why are you wearing that shirt again?” He pointed his chin to upper body.
My mouth fell open, “You remember this shirt?”
“Yeah,” he walked over and sat to the right of me, “you wore it on that dress down day we had to raise money for that homeless shelter.”
I was stunned, “…Do you remember everything I wear?”
“No,” he snorted, “but you looked really hot in that shirt.”
I stood up and eased myself onto his lap, “And what about now?”
He placed a kiss on my neck, “You look hot in that shirt.”
I bit my lip to stifle a giggle as I rested my head on his shoulder. I caressed his arm with the tip of my finger, starting as his wrist and working my way up under the loose sleeves of his shirt.
“I’m really nervous,” I confessed.
“Me too.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?” I asked softly. “What if you were right and I end up more screwed than I was before? What if we get even more screwed over?”
“What if everything works out was planned?” He countered. “What if your parents really do care more about your grades than you dating? What if they let us be together without the lying and hiding and the secrets?”
“It’s win all or lose all, huh?”
He wrapped his arm around my middle as his other hand came to stroke my hair. “We can still be together, maybe not as a couple, but just in the literal sense.”
I shook my head, causing my cheek to rub against the cotton covering his chest. “If I can’t sway them tomorrow they’ll probably have a tracking system put into my skin or something,” I said in a lighter tone.
He laughed, “Don’t think about tomorrow. I’ll still love you then and the day after. Think and feel like there’s only a now, and not a later.”
I lifted my head to look at him, “That was so deep.”
“I read it off of my mom’s inspirational calendar. I mean, only the last part, not the ‘I love you’ part.”
I laughed and leaned against him once more. “I love you too.” I sighed, content with the silence. Everything felt so right, him and I in my room, just holding each other. But I couldn’t help but wonder about what tomorrow would bring me, what it would do to us. I did not know what I would do if I was forced to lose him again, and my parents would make seeing him in secret near impossible. If only they understood that my feelings for him were genuine, past puppy love and die-hard crushes. They didn’t know that I gave him a nonrefundable part of my heart.
“Hey, what did you want to show me?” He asked after clearing his throat.
“Oh, right,” I swallowed and slid off of his lap. I walked to the opposite end of the room, where my school backpack laid, and got on my knees to dig through it. “Promise you won’t freak out.”
His eyebrows rose, “As long as you don’t have a gun or some sort of weapon in there, I think I’ll be fine.”
I found what I was looking for and put it behind my back as I turned to face him.
“Oh, oh, did you get me a present?!” His eyes lit up as his lips formed a smile.
I giggled, “Sorta kinda.”
Garrett was getting anxious, “What is it?”
“Promise me you won’t laugh either, ‘kay?”
“I promise. On my love of Pringles I promise I won’t even smile.”
I bit my lip, “No, I want you to smile.” By now I was standing right in front of him, for once looking downwards to see his face.
He cocked a curious eyebrow before I slowly removed my hands from behind me to hold the object in front of his face.
I careful watched Garret as I bit the inside of my cheek tenderly. Rushes of nervousness overtook my stomach with each passing by of a silent second.
“That…is a…condom,” he finally exhaled.
His mouth was open and his eyes were fixed on the item until I tossed it into his lap, my arm getting tired. I sat on his left and continued to look at his awestruck face.
“Thoughts?”
“Condoms aren’t funny,” he said after picking it up and examining it.
I shrugged, “Not really, no.”
“Where’d you get it?”
“Planned Parenthood over on Zooman Street,” I replied as I fell back on purple stripes.
Garrett angled his legs so that most of his body was facing towards me, “Does this mean what I think it means?”
I looked down and shyly replied, “Yeah.”
His lips slightly parted and his eyes became a little squinted, as if he couldn’t fully grasp what I was saying. “But why? I thought…I thought you wouldn’t ever let yourself.”
“So did I, but things change.”
“What if you get pregnant? What if your parents find out?”
“I won’t, and they won’t,” I assured him with confidence, a lot of it false. “I want you to be my first. And it just feels right, you know? Like, to have sex with you just seems so natural; there are no forced emotions in my mind. And it’s an important day, it seems like the perfect time.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I mean, if you still want to.” I was starting to get worried. Maybe his feelings were different.
“No, no,” he said quickly. “I still want to. Believe me, I really do. But I need to make sure that this is what you want. That this is really what you want.”
I nodded, “It is. I’m ready, and I want you to be the one.”
He smiled and extended his hand to stroke my cheek with his thumb.
“But, understand this,” I added. “No matter what happens tomorrow, this’ll probably be a one-time thing. By chance we can be together, I don’t plan on becoming sexually active.”
He nodded his head slightly and many times, “I’m cool with that.”
Garrett took off the dog tag I gave him and he took the silver ring off of the chain. He picked up my right hand and slid it on my thumb.
“That’s yours no matter what,” he told me.
I sat up and took the necklace from his hands. I refastened it and put it over his head. Then I grabbed the dog tag and pulled his face close and whispered, “As is my virginity,” before kissing him hard on the mouth.
♠ ♠ ♠
too mature? let me know.and did you see the condom part coming? because i know that sex could have been deduced from the last chapter.
comments would make my day, so let me know what you think, even if they're negative thoughts.