Scribbles of a Broken Heart

I realized that my eyes had closed sometime while I was telling the story, and they reopened to find pure bewilderment on Ms. Templeton’s face.

“You are not a virgin?” She asked painfully slow.

“Uhm, clearly,” I responded, her reaction throwing me off.

“Your parents did not mention that.”

“That’s because they didn’t know it was something they could mention,” I looked at her pointedly.

“Ah,” she understood and made her pen touch paper. “They never found out.”

“And they never will thanks to doctor-patient confidentiality.”

Ms. Templeton did not acknowledge my statement. When she finished writing, her back became more rigid as she leaned forward and asked “What was it like?” in an almost scandalous tone.

“Amazing.” I replied as I tried to relive the feeling. “I’ve never felt so close to someone in my entire life. It was a rush of new sensations and emotions all at once, but every one of them was a form of Garrett’s love.”

“Any regrets?”

“None. It’s probably the best memory I have.”

I titled my head to the side, “What about you?” Brazenly, I asked her, “And how was your first time Ms. Templeton?”

“Well, I-um.”

“Ah ha!” I suddenly pointed to her, “You’re a virgin.”

She readjusted her glasses and her left foot began to shake. “That really is not any of your business,” she said brusquely.

I smirked, “So how does it feel knowing that I know more about sex than you do?”

“Prudish,” she said in an almost remorseful manner that made my lips falter. “Very prudish.”

I didn’t know that skin-to-skin was the best sort of contact; just another thing that Garrett had taught me, I guessed.

I was sandwiched between Garrett’s bare body and his equally bare arms. I could hardly believe that the events replaying in my mind did in fact occur.

“What’s on your mind?” Garrett shifted so that he was looking directly down at me.

“Sex,” I spoke softly.

“In a good way, I hope.”

I looked up at him and smiled, “In a very good way.” I bit my lip trying to describe how I felt, “I feel so warm inside.”

“And on the outside too,” he replied as he brushed his thumb over my abdomen.

“Gah, my mouth is like, in a permanent smile,” I said while I turned my body over to face him.

He chuckled, “Don’t worry, it’s cute.”

I started to play with his hair.

Garrett asked, “So how do you feel?”

“In what way?”

He shrugged, “Physically, mentally…I dunno. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

I shrugged back. “Physically: I hurt a little.” Garrett’s gaze shifted down quickly. “Mentally: I’ve never been better,” his eyes came back up to look at me. “What I’m really thinking about is movies and shows. You know, how a boyfriend and girlfriend have sex and everything changes. The girl feels empty and the boy doesn’t call her and then things just stop working for the two all together.”

His eyebrows raised, “What are you getting at?”

“This, is nothing like that. And I wasn’t worried that it would be. And even though a whole load of crap is going down tomorrow, I still feel lucky.”

“Hopefully we’re lucky tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I rubbed my cheek against his chest, trying so hard to embed it into my mind. I didn’t want to be pessimistic, but I knew I was doing so just in case this was the only time I could.

“Let’s hope that our luck hasn’t run out.”

Garrett touched his forehead to mine, “I hate to sound like one of those boyfriends off of whatever TV show you’re thinking off, but I have to go.”

“I know. This couldn’t last forever, right?”

He released his hold on me and sat up. “God, I feel like one of those jerks that tap it and then bolt. I'm really sorry baby, but I have to get back home.”

“I know, I know,” I reassured him. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. Get dressed.”

He leaned down and kissed my forehead before getting up, making sure that the blanket stayed in place. I blushed and kept my eyes down as he stood; only retuning my gaze once I was sure he had put his boxers back on.

I watched him put the rest of his clothes on, and he didn’t say anything about my staring. Once he was finished he knelt down so that our eyes were more level.

Garrett reached his hand towards my face and grabbed my chin lightly. “I love you. Remember what to say tomorrow. They’ll come around. And if not, we’ll keep trying until they do.”

I shook my head at him, “Just pray.”

He replied solemnly, “I’ll see if I can remember how.”

Garrett slightly stood up and bent over to place his lips on mine. I struggled to remember his taste.

He parted from me and walked away with his back towards the door, holding our gaze until he had to reach around for the door knob.

“I love you too," I said to his retreating form, and then rolled over to lay in the indent he left on my bed.