If We Jump

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For the past few days, Dakotah’s been acting really weird. Whenever I tried to kiss her or hold her hand she would shy away from me. She was always sleeping in her own bunk now too, instead of mine. Maybe Jamie had something to do with it. John invited her to come on the next few tour dates with us as long as she slept on the couch, so she was around a lot recently. Dakotah had seemed kind of jealous after all. Maybe that was it. I don’t know. I just know I miss her and the way we used to be.

I trust John a lot since he’s my brother and he’s usually good at giving advice so that’s who I went to with my problems. I had talked to him about it yesterday. He told me I should ask her about it and see where she’s coming from. He thinks maybe there’s something more to it than just Jamie. Up until now, I was building up the courage to do it. I don’t want to make the problem worse; I have to be gentle about it.

I walked onto the bus and there she was sitting on the couch with her laptop. I guess this is my chance. “Um, can we talk?” I asked her, suddenly feeling nervous about how this conversation could go. She nodded and closed her computer. “Are we okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re still friends, right?” she asked. Friends. Still? Even after all this, she still wants to just be friends.

“Uh, well yeah but.. I don’t know. I kind of thought…” I started to say but I couldn’t find the words to finish my sentence. I sat down on the couch across from her and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.

“You kind of thought… what?” she asked, looking down at her hands instead of at me.

“Nothing, never mind.” I stated, I started to walk into the back of the bus.

“Stephen.” I stopped walking and turned around. “If you want to talk, you need to complete your sentences” she said with a small smile. “I kind of thought you liked me. More than just a friend.” I told her and sat back down, but next to her this time.

“Oh.” She said, not looking at me anymore.

“If you don’t its fine but… can you at least tell me.” I’d rather have her say she didn’t like me than have to make assumptions. She acted like she did. I’m so confused; I don’t know what to think.

“It’s not that, Stephen.” She said. She looked up at me and I kissed her, but the second our lips touched, she turned away. “Then why won’t you kiss me anymore?” I blurted out before realizing what I said.

“Because Stephen. I just… I just can’t. I need to get some air.” She got up and walked off the bus. I waited a few seconds before following her. The rest of the band plus some of our crew members and Jamie were outside sitting around. Once they saw us they started to say hi but realized we were fighting and retreated inside the bus, though we could see them all watching us through the open window.

“What do you mean you can’t? Why can’t you?”

“I mean that I can’t kiss you. I’m not going to be that girl.” She said, her voice growing louder towards the end.

“Talk to me Dakotah, what girl?” I hadn’t realized that we were shouting back and forth since we had gotten outside. She was beating around the bush and wouldn’t give me a straight answer and we were both getting fed up with each other.

“I’m not going to be your other woman. I don’t want to be your consolation prize since you still have feelings for Jamie and she obviously still has them for you too!”

“What? Even if I did, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m in love with-” I started to say but she cut me off. “Stop! Don’t say that” she yelled, her eyes full of tears.

“Why?” I asked quietly. I don’t know what else to do. I remember after she broke up with Brent, we were all just sitting around talking. Later that night, when we were laying down in my bed, she told me she had stopped believing love was real. I made it my mission to prove her wrong. She couldn’t give up on love so young. It wasn’t right. I thought I changed her mind by now, but I guess not.

“Because it isn’t true. Please, Stephen, just stop” she said, I could see the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. She backed up a few steps before completely walking away. Go! I told myself, go follow her, don’t let her leave. But as much as I told myself that, my legs wouldn’t move. No matter how hard I tried, I was standing still watching the love of my life walk away from me.
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Jess’s P.O.V.
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“You still have feelings for Jamie and she obviously still has feelings for you!” we heard Dakotah yell. The crew had gone back into their van and the rest of us were sitting in the bus watching through the windows as a soap opera unfolded. Stephen and Dakotah had never fought like this before. They would bicker and have petty fights but they never lasted more than a few hours. This was serious.

After she had said that, Jamie turned away from the window and started making her way towards the door of the bus. “Where are you going?” I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her back, there was no way she was going to get in the middle of this.

“You heard her, Stephen still has feelings for me. If that’s true, then why shouldn’t I go get him? He’s never really gotten over me anyway.” She said with a smirk.

“No. you are not going out there.” I said firmly, through my teeth. When the two of them were dating, I didn’t mind her so much, but after I found out how much pain she had caused one of my best friends, I came to realize how much of a bitch she really is. “Really? And why is that?” she snapped back at me.

“Stephen cannot take any more heartache. You broke him. He stopped hoping for any chance at love and he all but gave up on everything Jamie. I don’t think you realize how much you hurt him. He doesn’t love you anymore. He finally found someone he loves and has fun with. And she loves him too. And you’re not taking that away from him.” I told her. The expression on her face softened a bit and she sat back down.

When I returned to the window, Stephen was standing outside by himself. Dakotah was gone and he just looked like someone punched him in the stomach, like he was in pain but trying not to show it. After a minute or two, he turned on his heel and walked into the bus. He walked right past us without a word, and went straight into the kitchen area. He rested his elbows on the counter, put his head in his hands, and groaned in frustration.

“I’ll go talk to him.” John said before following him.