Let's Pretend It's Love

“You look hot, Char!”

I watched in annoyance as Charlotte strutted in front of the four full length mirrors while Penny and the rest of the bridesmaids cheered her on with catcalls and whistles. I bet the seamstress thought we the the rowdiest, uncouth group of women to ever set foot in such a posh shop. There was two months until the Payne Train wedding and Penny was having number two of three bridal fittings. She’d finally decided on bridesmaid dresses. It was snowing outside, the holidays were kicking off, my nose was running, the dresses were a nasty pale pink color and I’d rather be any were than here.

“This dress is hot! You won’t be the only sight at this function.” Charlotte replied arrogantly as she flipped her hair over her shoulder whilst admiring her reflection in the mirrors.

I rolled my eyes. Leave it Charlotte to try and make Penny’s big day all about her.

“Well Presley, you’re the only one left.” Penny chirped clapping her hands together happily.

She must think this is funny. I’m fully convinced that brides seek revenge on their bridesmaids for any shit they’ve done in the past.

I sighed shrugging out of my coat as the seamstress handed me the tea length dress on a satin hanger.

“Why is this dress pink? I thought we agreed on no pink, Pen?” I asked, my eyebrows pinching together furiously.

Penny smiled. “Because, Li and I are getting married on Valentine’s Day. It matches the theme. Plus all the grooms men are going to have matching ties so you and Harry can match when you walk down the aisle together. Cute, yeah?"

I rolled my eyes. Valentine’s Day weddings were the most cliche move in the book and pale pink would only make me look washed out considering how pale I already was. I reckon it’d look good on Harry , though. If he could pull off those hideous prints he always wore he could definitely do pale pink.

Speaking of Harry, today was the day of the wedding he was supposed to be photographing and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing and secretly wish he was here to give me some company.

"I’m just going to get this over with, yeah?” I replied taking the dress into to the dressing room.

A slight chill hit me as I wiggled out of my jeans and stripped out of my sweater. I gave myself a quick glance in the mirror before stepping into the pale pink dress, the silky material quickly consumed my hips and thighs. After arranging and rearranging my bust to sit properly, I fiddled with the zipper and quickly realized that the dress was a bit snug.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and frowned. If I held my breath and stood up straight enough, the dress would fit perfectly but as soon as I exhaled, I could feel my ribs and stomach straining against the silky fabric. Months worth of takeout, beer and a sedentary lifestyle of Netflix had not done me well. What the hell was I thinking? I should’ve done a couple of squats and sit ups or even went on a liquid diet before this fitting. Maybe I need to start drinking those kale shakes that Harry swears by.

“Come out and vogue for us, Presley!” Penny shouts from outside the dressing room. I sighed and my stomach dropped. I knew I’d look nowhere near as good as Libby, Ailsa and as much as I hate to admit it, Charlotte looked in this dress. They all had amazing figures and luminous complexions.

I took a deep breath and pushed back the drapes covering the entrance of the dressing room and slowly inching my way to the center of the room.
Penny gasped and folded her hands together.“Aren’t you beautiful?? Why with a spray tan and a little bronzer, I bet Harry won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you.”

Gee Penny, great way to give a compliment. You might even be worse than Mum.

“I wish I had your rack!” Ailsa shouted.

My eyes swept over in the direction of Charlotte whose face held a devilish smirk. I prepared myself for the eye roll I knew what was coming next.

“If you keep holding your breath like that to make your tummy flat you’ll pass out before the nuptiuals even begin.”

It took everything in my power not reach over and rip out the blond tresses that I knew were extensions. I decided to remain a mature adult and take the high road. Or maybe I just didn’t have a snazzy comeback. Probably the second one.

“Turn around. I’m gonna send some pictures to Harry.” Penny commanded and my eyes grew wide.

There’s absolutely no way I’m letting Harry see me with frizzy hair and ghostly pale skin and crammed into a dress that would most likely rip in the seams if I just so much as bent down. I mean, it’s not that I cared what Harry thought but I was in no condition to have pictures taken of me and there’s no telling what Harry would do with those pictures.

“No!” I shouted.

Penny’s eyebrows raised. “It’s your BF. Why not? I send pictures to Liam all the time.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it was nothing. Penny really doesn’t get it. We’re two totally different people.

“Because, I don’t do pictures.” I replied feverishly hoping to shut down this conversation.

It was Libby’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Wait, isn’t your boyfriend like a photographer or something?"

How the hell does she know this information?

"Um, yes.” I replied.

She laughed. “Well hasn’t he taken pictures of you before? Lighten up, I’m sure he doesn’t care how you look.”

Wow, Presley. You really could’ve been thinking ahead.

“I wish I had a photographer boyfriend. Then I could be his muse.” Ailsa sighed dreamily and I rolled my eyes.

“I went on a few of dates with one. Their all just egotistical jerks with small dicks.” Charlotte replied whilst inspecting her nail beds.

My eyes narrowed at her and I trapped my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Gee Char, that’s pretty unfortunate but you speak for yourself. Maybe it just shriveled up from your inability to arouse.”

With that I turned on my heel and sauntered back into the dressing room satisfied to hear a scoff from Charlotte and snickers from the other bridesmaids.

Savage.

I was more than happy to be home after that bloody awful fitting. It felt nice to be curled up in a warm duvet on a snowy night but even with Ollie curled up by my side things felt strangely lonely. Could it be that I’d been spoiled by Harry’s frequent company? I’d never been one to let anyone get too close for comfort but I felt this strange sense of warmth when I was with Harry that I didn’t feel with others. My relationship with him was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It made me feel kind of funny inside and my head spin just thinking about it. It kind of scared me. I just didn’t know how to describe it all.

Oh God. Please don’t tell me this dork is growing on me.
*****
The beginning of the week seemed to drag on in the manner that it usually did and I hadn’t heard much from Harry. It wasn’t anything to bother myself about though. I’m sure he was just busy. Nothing to get worked over. I’m not going to run behind him.

The second best day of the week apart from Friday was Wednesday. Just knowing that the end of the week was near made the slowest and coldest of days more bearable. It was snowing pretty heavily outside and I was lucky enough to get into my flat building without slipping on any ice. Just as I was making my way upstairs my phone began vibrating in my pocket. Not bothering to check the caller I.D, I picked up the receiver.

“Hello?” I pressed the phone to my ear.

“Hey, love. God. It feels like forever since I’ve heard your voice.” I could feel my stomach dropping after hearing the familiar rasp.

“Harry. Hey. How are you?” I asked continuing my trek up the flight of stairs.
“I’d be better if I got a chance to see you.” He replied.

I sighed. “It’s getting late, H and it’s cold as hell outside. I almost slipped on ice twice on my way inside.”

Harry chucked on the other end of the phone sending slight shivers down my spine. “Hell’s not cold Presley. And I knew you’d be opposed to going out so I came to you."

"You what?"

I pressed the phone closer to my ear hoping I’d heard correctly.

"I came to you. That okay?"

I tucked my lip between my teeth. I couldn’t help but feel unprepared for this.

"Uh, yeah. I’m just getting in. I’ll be waiting for you, I guess.”

I feel so indifferent about this all. I want to burry myself in a hole right now I don’t know why.

I had few spare minutes to rearrange the pillows on my sofa, get Ollie off the counter and at least run my fingers though my hair before I entertained Harry. He came striding through the door is this sort of color blocking brown sweater that only he could make look good, his arms full with a brown paper bag and this leather satchel draped over his shoulder.

“Speak of the devil.” I spoke playfully whilst taking the brown bag out of his arms and shutting the door behind him.

Harry grinned. “Heeey. I brought you dinner and I almost slipped on ice to get up here. You better be nice to me.” He warned but I could spot his lips curling into a smile.

I rolled my eyes playfully as I took a spot on the sofa and sat the bag on the table, peeping inside.

“It smells like curry so I guess I have to be.”

I could smell his cologne as he squeezed in next to me, his knee brushing against mine. As he removed the contents from the brown paper bag The only thing I could see was the wisp of curls that fell around his face and his chiseled jaw. The stubble around his chin was much more noticeable and made his jawline look so much sharper. Why does it have to be so damn sharp?

I’d zoned out so much I didn’t notice his mouth moving.

Harry nudged me ever so slightly with his elbow.

“I’m sorry? What?” I blurted.

He smiled while passing a takeaway box to me.

“I asked what was new with you. What’d I miss while I was away?"

I shrugged before reaching for a fork.

"Nothing too interesting. Things have been pretty much the same around here. Though I did have a dress fitting Saturday.” I scrunched up my face at the memory.

Harry smiled whilst forking over the noodles in his takeaway box.

“Is is really as bad as they say.? It can’t be that bad.” He insist.

“Oh but it is , Harry. I swear it’s the closest thing to hell on earth. I need to loose at least five pounds to properly fit into that dress.”

He chuckled. “That’s ridiculous."

I frowned. "I’m not playing, H. I need your health advise. Give me your kale shake recipe.”

“You sure you want that? Besides, I think your figure’s perfect.”

I could feel a blush creeping across my cheeks. I sighed trying to fight it.

“I shouldn’t expect you to know anything about women’s clothing. So how was the wedding?” I asked changing the subject before for forking noodles into my mouth. I could feel Ollie curling around my feet and Harry smiled, dimples denting his cheeks.

“It was great. That reminds me, I wanted to show you the pictures I took.” He sat his food on the coffee table before rummaging through the leather satchel at his feet.

“That’s a pretty fancy camera, Mr. Styles.” I announced, curling my feet up under me once he’d retrieved what he was looking for. Harry smiled.

“This camera is my baby. I do all my work with it. Simply can’t function without her, I reckon. Look at that.” He pointed to the camera’s screen.

There was a picture of castle in a beautiful snowy landscape. Everything about the picture was breath taking and perfect. Perfect lighting and everything. He moved closer to me and I could feel his hair tickling my face slightly.

“It’s beautiful.”

Harry went through various pictures of flowers, wedding guest and bridesmaids until he stopped at a particular. The bride was slowly making her way up to the altar, a vision of beauty in white lace while the groom watched, his face all aglow.

“This picture here means everything to me.” He drawled.

I kinked an eyebrow. “Why?”

Harry grinned. “Because, the way he looks at her. You can see the love almost."

I glanced over at him, meeting the penetrating gaze of his jade eyes.

"To look at someone that way, it says a lot.” He continued, his expression becoming more serious.

I didn’t quite know what to say. Normally I’d disagree and call Harry out on his bullshit for saying something like that but I found myself feeling vexed. I’d never really been attracted to someone at such a heightened level. I’d never truly been in love. What did I know?

I remained silent, picking over my food. I entered mini emotional and existential crises whenever I was around Harry lately and I just didn’t know why.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, you okay?” Harry asked, his hand touching my shoulder.

“Yeah, I - I just..” I sighed. “Never mind.”

We continued to eat in comfortable silence for a while. I found I’d lost my appetite but I kept stuffing my face just to keep myself occupied. My mind was drifting off to so many places I nearly felt dizzy just sitting down.

“There was lots of dancing at the wedding I went to.” Harry spoke knocking me out of my trance with his deep voice.

I kinked a brow. “Yeah? Dance with anyone?”

He shook his head as he stood to his feet. “No. The only girl I wanted to dance with wasn’t in attendance.”

“Yeah?” I repeated.

Harry grinned. “Get up.” He commanded softly, extending one of his large hands to me.

My brows furrowed. "What? Why?“

I watched with bewilderment as he moved the coffee table aside, leaving light lines in the exposed carpet.

"Stop being so stubborn, Presley. Just get up.”

I didn’t have time to protest before he was gently pulling me up from my spot on the sofa. He drew my body closer to his, wrapping an arm around the small of my back and grabbing hold on my hand, intertwining our fingers. It was the first time we’d held hands without my family watching. His hands were soft but I didn’t know how to feel about it.

Harry smiled his crooked smile down at me, a dimple denting his cheek.

“Figured we’d practice our dancing before Penny’s wedding, yeah?”

I rolled my eyes hoping to temporarily escape his gaze.

“You’re so stiff, Styles. And there’s no music.” I deadpanned.

His grin grew wider.

“Don’t need it.”

“This is cheesy. You’re making this cliche on purpose.”

I stared up at Harry who still smirked.

“So, did cha miss me?” He drawled.

I scoffed. "No. I’ll have you know that I’m perfectly capable of functioning without you, Harry Styles. I’m an independent woman.“

"I know. That’s what I like about you.”

His finger tips pressed into my flesh ever so lightly.

“Yeah?” I blurted. My throat felt dry and I couldn’t quite figure out why I kept saying that. I bet I sounded like a bloody parrot.

“Yees. Maybe I should’ve said that differently. It’s one of the many things I like about you.” Harry replied, his voice slow and deep.

Things are getting insanely awkward. Why does he keep saying things like this?

He gazed down at me, his green eyes looking so hypnotizing. My breath hitched in my throat and I’d gone completely silent. Things had already gotten awkward enough. I was afraid if I said anything else it would only make things worse. My feet had completely stopped moving when I felt his arm snaking from around my waist, his large hand fastening to my chin.

I knew what was coming next. I should have stopped him before it could happen.

His mouth pressed against mine ever so gently, his lips were slightly chapped from the cold, his stubble scratched against my face and his mouth tasted faintly of curry. This should’ve been a turn off but it wasn’t. It didn’t stop me from kissing him back.

Fuck.

This feels so nice but what am I doing? This is wrong. Completely forbidden territory.

My eyes shot open and I pulled away as fast as I could running a hand through my hair. I closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath. I couldn’t face him.

“ Presley, I didn’t mean to- I just-”

“Damn it, Harry. This- this is too much.”

Harry sighed deeply. I felt his hand gently gripping my arm. "I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

I snatched away from him folding my arms across my chest. I could really punch him right now.

“Please, don’t touch me. I think you should go home now. It’s late.”

I didn’t even bother to see him out. This was way too much. It’s simply not meant to be this way.