Let's Pretend It's Love

I hadn’t had any contact with Harry since the whole kissing fiasco. He’d called quite a few times since that night but I let my phone go to voicemail. I spent most of my time after work in coffee shops or wandering around Tesco just to avoid going home in case he decided to show up. I did everything in my power to avoid him. I needed to distance myself. The way I was acting may have been a bit childish and rather over the top but I felt rather justified in my actions.

I’d kissed quite a few boys in my lifetime. Some were sloppy kisses, drunken kisses, awkward kisses, but mainly kisses that never meant anything. But this one with Harry was different. It was gentle and sweet and slow. When he kissed me I could feel this strong tingle coursing through my body. It was a sensation I’d never really felt before. It felt nice. It felt damn wonderful. But we’re friends.

We are friends. I liked us as friends. Friends don’t kiss.

But I was starting to get the strong suspicion that Harry might like me more than just a friend. The intense gazes, how he always insisted on doing things together the things he said and after all, he’d kissed me first. Or maybe I was just overreacting. I’d grown so fond of him, we’d grown fond of each other. Too fond. We weren’t meant to be so close. Maybe I made a mistake in agreeing to be friends. I shouldn’t have let him get so close. I should have left my guard up. Just when things were starting to get comfortable between us he goes and makes things awkward again.

“Presley! There’s not enough Tinsel on the tree! Put more!” Jessa demanded whilst rummaging through boxes.

The holidays were officially upon us. For normal people it’s the season to be jolly but I always treated the Christmas season with a lack of enthusiasm. There was just nothing fun about the ridiculously long lines at stores, the spike of customer activity in the shop or being forced to reenact Beatles album covers for our family Christmas cards. Jessa on the other hand was a Christmas fanatic. She anticipated it like a small child and always made sure the shop was always elaborately decorated. Not to mention she always threw a big Christmas party at her flat and always had biscuits on hand. I’m fully convinced she bleeds peppermint during the holidays.

I sighed.

“Jess, this tree will look like Cousin It if you put anymore tinsel on it.” I replied adjusting one of the ornaments.

“Presley’s right. It’s almost too shiny.” Murray replied only to receive an eye roll from Jess.

“Nonsense. Nothing is ever too shiny for Christmas. Now, I need you to string some lights outside for me.” She tutted whilst thrusting an arm full of lights in Murray’s arms.

He frowned. “But I just strung some in here and it’s bloody cold outside.”

“You didn’t string them outside though. Thank you Murray.” Jessa replied in a sing song voice before shooing him out the door.

I sighed deeply before plopping down on a stool behind the counter and grabbing a sugar biscuit from the tray sitting on the counter.

“So, you’re still helping me with the Christmas party Saturday, right?” She asked giddily whilst pulling up a stool next to me.

“Shoot. That’s this Saturday?” I asked, my eyes widening. I’d been so out of sorts this week.

“Yes. You’re still coming right? I need your help. I need it like I need air.” Jessa replied dramatically.

I rolled my eyes before taking a bite out of my biscuit.

“Relax Jess, I’ll be there. You know I’ve got your back.”

Jessa grinned whilst adjusting the small Christmas tree sat on the counter top.

“It’s gonna be so fun! I’m trying a new quiche recipe!”

I shrugged as I brushed the crumbs off my fingers.

“I’m bringing the babybels of course.”

Babybel cheese was essential to any party. I always made sure to bring some with crackers. I can’t cook for shit so it always got me out of being obligated to bring a dish.

I reached for another one of Jessa’s biscuits as the brass bell of the door rang. We’d had an increase of customers since the start of the holidays but so far it had been a slow day.

“Harry!” Jessa exclaimed all too loudly and happily.

My stomach dropped. I was hoping she was talking to another Harry she knew but alas, there he was, the last Harry in the world I wanted to see right now, approaching the counter looking very comfortable and cuddly in his hoodie. His hair was quite messy and I couldn’t quite tell wether or not he’d just woken up. Harry gave Jess a small smile and his eyes quickly locked with mine , his jaw clenching slightly. He didn’t seem too excited to be here and I was suspecting he wasn’t here to shop for anything related to boots.

He was here for me.

“Hello Jessamine, long time no see. It sure looks festive in here.” He replied politely whilst stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. I just sat behind the counter, speechless and starting him down while stuffing my face with more biscuits.

Nice going, Presley.

Jessa giggled in a short and dainty manner that came out so shrill it hurt my ears.

“Christmas is my favorite holiday. It’s such a lovely time!” She exclaimed.

Harry grinned, a dimple carving a bit of a comma in his left cheek.

“Lovely it is.”

His smile slowly disappeared as he turned to me, his jade eyes seemed to burn straight through my soul. My throat felt dry and I was beginning to regret eating so many biscuits at once. I was probably going to choke and die right here.

“How are you today, Presley?” Harry drawled.

My mouth was full and if I spoke crumbs would most likely go flying everywhere so I just nodded. His eyebrows furrowed but the corner of his lips turned up into a smile.

Jess eyed me and scrunched up her nose before turning back to Harry with a smile.

“So, what can we help you with today?” She asked sweetly.

Harry shrugged.

“I just had a day off so I figured I’d do some browsing. I already have most of my Christmas shopping out of the way.”

If Jessa grinned any wider I was sure her cheeks would burst.

“You’re so organized and effcient! I haven’t even started yet! If you need help with anything just let me know.”

Harry smiled politely, his eyes never seeming to leave mine.

“Thanks, I will.”

I prayed a silent prayer that Jessa would stay at the counter and Harry would make his visit short but Harry stayed at the counter and Jessa slowly turned on her heel to retreat to her office. I suddenly got an idea and caught her jumper before she could go.

“What are you doing, Presley?” She asked, her brows furrowing violently.

“The Christmas party. Why don’t you invite Harry to the Christmas party?’ I blurted once I could finally speak.

I was desperate for anything to make Jessa continue conversation with Harry so he couldn’t try talk about our kiss in her absence. Besides, Harry had promised to ask Jess out and he’d been spending way too much time with me lately. After that kiss she, was the perfect distraction. Maybe she was what just we needed to forget about all this.

Jessa face lit up but I could see her cheeks burning red.

"Oh! Right! I’m hosting a Christmas party at my flat this Saturday. You should come, it’s gonna be wicked!”

“Yeah? I’m pretty keen on holiday parties. Is Presley gonna be there?”

“I’m bring the babybel’s!” I blurted.

Harry smirked. “Well, in that case, I’d love to come.”

Jessa grinned broadly. “I would love to have you there!”

I smiled politely but mentally I was beating myself up. I was slowly starting to realize that maybe this wasn’t the best plan and I had a strong feeling that it was probably going to back fire on me.

****
I was already buzzed, having already downed half a glass of wine and the party hadn’t even started yet.

I needed something to calm my nerves. I’d prayed harder than a nun that Harry wouldn’t show up at the party but a small voice in my head told me otherwise. At this point, I was convinced that I’d told far too many lies in my life time for praying to even be an option anymore. My place in hell had already been picked out.

“Shiit! This zipper won’t zip!” I heard Jessa exclaim from her bedroom. I’d arrived at her flat nearly an hour before the party was scheduled to start to help get the food organized.

I turned the crockpot of meatballs on low as a very flustered looking Jess trudged into the kitchen struggling to keep her bust contained in the form fitting red dress she was wearing. It seemed to hug her curves in all the right places and I couldn’t help but feel frumpy and underdressed in my black sweater dress and leggings.

“C'mere, love. I’ve got it.” I spoke beckoning her over in my direction.

She breathed a sigh of relief once I’d finally gotten the zipper zipped and I spun her around to give her a final look.

“You look quite fit.” I grinned before sauntering back over to the counter and grabbing my glass of wine.

Jessa grinned whilst spinning modestly.

“Thanks. It’s my party, after all!"She exclaimed, stealing a piece of fruit from the fruit tray.

"So,” She continued. “do you think Harry’s gonna show up?”

I paused brining the rim of the glass to my lips. The tight red dress made sense now. Jessa was on a mission to snatch Harry up.

I kinked a brow. “Jessa, be honest with me here. Do you have a thing for Harry?”

The room grew silent and my breath hitched in my throat. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and I didn’t know why.

A blushed creeped across her cheeks.

“I mean, he’s hella cute. Sexy even with that long hair and all.” Jessa mumbled with a shrug.

“So, you’re attracted to him?” I pressed, my voice raising slightly.

She grinned sheepishly.

“Okay, Presley! You got me. I’ve got a terrible crush on Harry. ”

I knew it! My stomach dropped and I couldn’t help but feel completely awful that not only was I fake dating the guy that my best friend had her eye on but I’d also kissed him.

I forced a smile. “Well, why didn’t you tell me sooner, Jessa? I could have hooked you guys up.” I replied.

Jess shrugged again. “I don’t know. He’s been coming in the shop for years but he’s never made any moves so I just left it alone. What do you think about him? Do you think I’ve got good taste?”

I took a long gulp of wine before answering. I’d screwed up pretty properly. First with inviting Harry to the party and then bringing him up again.

I tucked by bottom lip between my teeth. “Well, he’s got a great personality. It seems. I’ll give him a solid five in the looks department but I can give my approval.”

Who am I kidding? Harry’s an eight at the lowest.

“Should I go for it?” Jessa asked, her brown eyes lighting up.

I forced another smile. “Yeah. Go for it.”

Jessa’s party had gone into full swing and with nearly thirty minuets in there was no sign of Harry. I was silently thanking God for being so merciful but Jessa on the other hand was loosing her cool. The flat was flooded with people and Christmas music but she’d been staring at the door like a sad puppy waiting on it’s owner to arrive after a long day of work.

“He’s not coming, Presley.” Jessa sulked as she squeezed in next to me where I’d made myself comfortable on the sofa.

I took a bite of quiche.

“Relax Jess, the party started a little over thirty minuets ago. Give the lad time. Have you tried your quiche, yet? It’s amazing.” I spoke hoping to change the subject. Why did Harry always have to steal the spotlight?

She sighed heavily. “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

Now, I was starting to feel terribly guilty. I was the one who’d gotten her hopes up. I’m a terrible person.

I sighed. “Don’t let Harry ruin your night, Jessa. It’s your party. If he doesn’t show, up then screw him.”

I’d spoken too soon. From across the room I could spot Harry and his wild head of hair. He looked a bit lost in the crowd of people and I nudged Jess with my elbow.

“Look who just showed up.”

The sparkle in Jessa’s eyes was undeniable.

“Go and talk to him. You’re the hostess.” I urged.

A flash of crimson spread across her face.

“Will you go with me? For moral support?” She asked.

Hell no.

I forced a smile. “Why not?”

I could feel my stomach dropping as we rose from the sofa. I was beginning to regret having that glass of wine and stuffing myself with so much quiche.

“Harry! You’re here!” Jessa exclaimed once we’d finally approached him.

Harry grinned at us both. He was wearing this black button up with less than half the button’s done, which gave me a peak of the butterfly tattoo on his stomach and a thin coat. I couldn’t help but wonder how he wasn’t freezing in this weather.

“Sorry I’m late. Had to run some errands but hey, I brought a vegetable tray.” He replied holding up a plastic bag.

“How sweet of you! Can I get you something to eat?” Jessa asked with a wide grin.

“Sure. I’m pretty hungry. ” He glanced over at me and my stomach twisted into these weird knots. Damn him and those grass green eyes.

I nervously tucked my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I’m going to go see if there’s any more cups in the kitchen while you and Harry go get some food. Eat, drink, be merry!” I spoke feverishly before sauntering away from the two.

Perhaps my plan would go well after all.

I made an effort to hide out from Jessa and Harry for the rest of the night which mostly included sipping more wine in the kitchen. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t been spying on them. I’d watched them open Christmas crackers and watched Jessa drag Harry to the middle of the floor for a dance. His dancing was absolutely terrible by the way. Endearingly terrible.

I couldn’t help but think that Harry and Jess might actually make a cute couple. I mean there was some chemistry but was Harry as smitten with Jessa as she was with him? Would they really mesh well?

I’d consumed far too much liquid and I really felt the need to go to the bathroom. The sounds of voices and music seemed to disappear as I descended into the hallway and into the guest bathroom. I sighed deeply as I eyed my reflection in the mirror, my cheeks rosy from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed. I’d turned to close the bathroom door when I felt a foot prying the door open.

“Excuse you, mate!” I shouted my speech slurred a bit.

I looked down at the foot wedged between the door and my heart sank upon seeing those familiar worn boots.

“I’ve been looking for you all night.” Harry rasped, nearly breathless as he stepped in the bathroom.

He shut the door soundly behind him and he turned the lock before running a hand through his unruly curls his green eyes meeting mine.

My eyebrows furrowed furiously and I could feel my heart hammering most violently against my chest. I was locked in a bathroom with the last person I wanted to see right now and I was legitimately afraid of what he might do.

“What hell are you doing, Harry?!? I’m trying to use the bathroom here.” I barked.

“We have to talk.” He announced firmly.

I folded my arms across my chest.

“Talk? I don’t think so. We have nothing to discuss.” I retorted before pushing past him and reaching for the door handle.

“You can’t keep avoid me, Presley, or what happened between us. Why can’t we address this like proper adults?” Harry continued taking hold of my arm.

I rolled my eyes and snatched away from his grasp.

“Fine, Harry!” I groaned. “Discuss.”

“I’m sorry if I over stepped any boundaries or made you feel awkward in any way. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I sighed heavily before bringing my lip between my teeth.

“You had no right to do that, Harry. We’re friends. Friends don’t kiss each other.” I replied matter of factly.

“I know, it’s just- ” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair.

“Fuck. How do I say this?” He mumbled.

My eyebrows furrowed.

“Say what?” I urged.

Harry reached forward, grabbing both of my hands and rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.

“I’m attracted to you.” He drawled.

My breath hitched in my throat and I was hoping I hadn’t heard him correctly.

“You’re attracted to me?” I repeated.

Harry grinned softly, a flash of his dimples showing.

“Very much so.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just simply did what any other sensible woman would do. I hauled back and punched him as hard as I could in the arm.

“Ouch! What was that for?” Harry shouted.

“You’re not supposed to be attracted to me! That’s not apart of our arrangement! You don’t get those privileges!” I shouted back, running a hand through my hair.

Harry’s lips curved into a smile.

“Presley, it’s not going to hurt anything at all if I think you’re beautiful or smart or funny. I like you and I like you because you’re you. What’s so bad about that?” He asked before reaching out and tucking a fallen piece of hair behind my ear.

I sighed deeply.

“I- I don’t know.” I replied in nearly a whisper.

Harry stared at me with those green eyes, his expression softening.

“I won’t bring it up again if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I just thought you deserved to know.” He spoke his voice deep.

He turned on his heel to leave but something just wouldn’t let me let him walk away.

“Harry! Wait!” I shouted.

He spun around, smiling softly.

“Yeah?”

I grinned. “C'mere.”

I grabbed the collar of his coat, pulling him close and pressing my mouth against his. My hands went for his hair, tugging at his soft curls and his teeth tugged at my bottom lip. God, this feels great. I don’t know why we hadn’t done this sooner. I pulled away breathless.

“Damn, that feels good.” Harry rasped, his thumb sweeping over my bottom lip.

I grinned trapping my swollen lip between my teeth.

“Can I do it again?” I asked, sheepishly.

“No. Let me.”

I didn’t know why I did that. I didn’t know anything. But what I did know is that this would change everything.