Let's Pretend It's Love

Christmas with Harry’s family was probably the best Christmas I’d had to date.The amount of cheer and delight I’d experienced could only be matched with that of a child. The hospitality and warmth that Anne had extended towards me was something I rarely experienced in my own family and it was almost overwhelming. Sadly, all good things must come to an end and my vacation had to be cut short so that I could return to work in London. Anne and the rest of the Styles family were very understanding but Harry was quite disappointed that I was leaving him behind. The Christmas holiday had created a new closeness between the both of us and while it only seemed to make Harry more clingy, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was getting a little attached too.

It was New Year’s Eve. The city was bustling with activity, people running to and fro, buying sweets and booze and scrambling to get last minuet proposals and parties in order. Activity in the shop was zero, however. Leather didn’t quite seem to fit the spirit of New Years and Murray and I sat in total silence, waiting for customers to arrive. Jessa was still away and I’d opened the shop early this morning. I was feeling quite tired and would rather be at home but was still in a relatively good mood. I tried keeping myself preoccupied with coffee and looking over some of the photos I’d taken while on vacation with Harry. It was almost as if I’d conjured him up into existence because it wasn’t long before I received a text message.

Morning, love. What are you doing? Hx

I bit my lip trying hard to fight the color rising to my cheeks.

At work and looking through vay-cay photos. There are far too many unsolicited selfies of you in here. Care to explain?

I feverishly tapped my finger tips against the counter anticipating his reply.

You need something to remember me by, s'all. Besides, would you rather have other unsolicited photos in your phone? ;)Hx

I gasped, almost too loudly because Murray glanced over at me from the other end of the counter with a worried expression.

Now’s the perfect time to shut up.

I miss you. Hx

I rolled my eyes.

Stop being so dramatic. You’ll be back before you know it and then you can see me. We live in the same city, we can see each other any time. You don’t get to see your family very often.

But I’m not gonna get the first kiss of New Year’s :( Hx

Kiss your mum, why don’t you?

I could almost see him pouting.

But it’s not gonna be the same.Hx

Well then don’t kiss anyone.

I smirked knowing my reply had struck a nerve.

You’re so mean but somehow I like it.Hx

The brass bell of the shop’s door rang almost too loudly, tearing my attention away from my phone.

“Good morning.” Jessa chirps whilst stepping over the threshold and unraveling the scarf wrapped around her neck. I smiled but I could slowly feel my stomach sinking for some odd reason.

“Morning Jesss! I didn’t expect you’d be back. How were your holidays?"

With a sigh she sauntered over to the counter, clutching tightly to her purse.
"Quite good I’d say. And you?” she asked.

I trapped my bottom lip between my teeth with a sigh. There was no way I was telling Jessa how my holiday actually went.

“They were okay. Same old same old.” I replied before grabbing my mug of coffee from the countertop and taking a generous sip hoping she didn’t see straight through my lies.

She glanced at me before turning her attention to Murray.

“Well, what about you Murray?”

He shrugged, eyes still glued to his mobile.

“They were cool.”

Jessa turned back to me with a tight lipped smile. I swear her light brown eyes were burning holes into my soul. Or maybe I’m just paranoid and guilt-ridden.
“Well I came to pick up the receipt book and then I reckon I’ll be on my way.” she declared with another breathy sigh.

“Oh, right. Sure thing.”

I feverishly stooped down behind the sales counter, retrieving the receipt book from its designated cubby and bumping my head on the counter’s edge on my way up. I could act so stupid when I’m nervous.

“Ouch.” I moaned, rubbing the back of my head whilst setting the book on the countertop. Jessa giggled, running a hand through her ringlets. She picked up the book clutching it to her chest.

“If no one comes in within the next hour you lot can go home. Wouldn’t want to keep you cooped up in here on New Year’s Eve.”

Despite the throbbing in my head I got a brilliant idea.

“Well,what are you doing later? We could grab a few pints and ring in the New Year.” I suggested with a grin. Maybe my guilt wouldn’t be so bad if I put forth extra effort to be a better friend to Jess. I can’t help but feel I owed her that.
Jessa sighed, placing the receipt book on the sales counter for a moment to wrap her scarf around her neck.

“The only pint I’m going to be grabbing tonight is a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I’ll be at home doing some figures.” she replied.

I frowned.

“But it’s New Year’s, Jess. You could at least try to go out. Have some fun.”

I’d managed to both surprise and scare myself with such a comment considering I was the crowned queen of Netflix and chillin’.

“You know Pres, I’ve just come to realize that New Year’s Eve isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I mean, people get all excited thinking the new year’s gonna bring about some new change and then the next year rolls around and things are exactly the same. It’s just an excuse for people to get drunk and laid. Absolute bullshit I’ll say.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I don’t recall ever being so confused. What was this sudden change in Jessa’s disposition? It was almost as if we’d switched roles, Jess being the anti-social pessimist I generally was and me taking on Jessa’s usually sociable and cheery disposition. It was like Freaky Friday: Brits Edition.

She let out what felt like the hundredth sigh before gathering the receipt book once more and throwing it in her bag.

“I’m leaving now. Happy New Year, I guess.”

Jessa left with a brief wave and the brass bell of the door ringing behind her. Once I was sure she was out earshot and down the side walk I turned to Murray with a worried expression.

“You know something I don’t?” I asked, pointing my finger in the direction of the door.

He shrugged never once looking up from his mobile.

“Maybe Jessa’s just got the New’s Year’s blues. Or maybe she’s just stressed out with the way things are goin’ around here. Haven’t had very many sales lately.”

I nodded, surprised to hear Murray talk so much and agreeing with his rationale.
“Yeah.”

“Or,” he continued. “Maybe you do know."

At that moment I was sure the world had stopped turning and the only sound audible was the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. I replayed the words over and over in my head. Holy shit.

My eyebrows furrowed most violently.

"Why would I know?” I asked innocently.

Murray finally tore his gaze away from his mobile, looking me in the eye for what was probably the first time. He shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t know. It might have to do something with Jessa’s Christmas party and a particular bloke.”

Shit.Shit. Shit. I felt nauseous and my stomach was bubbling with too many emotions at once: anger, disgust, anxiety. The list could go on forever.
I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You weren’t even at Jess’ Christmas party.” I sneered.

He smirked.

“But I was, Presley. You must really think I’m just invisible.”

“You little shit!”

It’s always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

“Just own up, Presley. You stole her guy. I saw you leaving the bathroom. Together .”

I scoffed before gritting my teeth together so hard I was afraid they might shatter. I don’t think I’d ever been so angry before.

“First of all, I stole nothing from no one. I don’t have to steal. If I wanted Harry I could easily have him. Second of all, I don’t even like him like that. There is nothing going on between us and lastly it’s none of your fucking business.”

“I just think it’s funny how you two are supposed to be such good friends and you would stoop so low.” Murray shrugged again. If he doesn’t stop shrugging I’m gonna slap the shrug straight out of him.

“You don’t know me or Jessa or anything about our friendship so it would be very wise if you shut up right now. It’s not my fault he’s just not that into her.” I replied bitterly.

Oh but it was. This whole thing was my fault. I was the one who’d convinced Jessa to pursue Harry when it was obvious he wasn’t interested. I was the one who’d kept Harry too close for comfort and had managed to catch his eye. All fingers pointed to me.

With a huff I gathered my belongings. There was no way I was helping him lock up after such harassment.

Murray sighed.

“Look Presley, if you think I’m aiming to blackmail you then you’re wrong. It’s not really my style.”

Really? Everything about his tone screamed blackmail.

I gave my eyes a hard roll, ignoring his previous statement.

“You’re locking up by yourself today. I’m sure you can handle it but I’m not responsible for anything that happens.” I tossed my hand bag over my shoulder as I maneuvered around the counter not even daring to look at him.

“I just think you should tell Jessa- before it’s too late and she finds out in another way.”

I was sure I’d gone way beyond my threshold of anger as I spun around to face, giving him the meanest look I could muster. Taking advise from a stuttering idiot was something I refused to do.

“You’re the last person I need advise from.”

****

My cheery New Year’s spirit had completely been killed. I was back to my normal self, pathetically sipping cheap Moscato I’d picked up on the way home, stuffing myself with greasy pepperoni pizza and binge watching a stupid show on Netflix with Ollie curled in my lap. The more I replayed everything that happened in my head the worse I felt. This was way worse than Jessa finding out. Murray knew and even though he promised not to blackmail me I wasn’t sure if I could trust him. I think the worst part of it all was knowing that I’d been exposed for who I truly was: A horrible person and a horrible friend.

“You still like me don’t you, Ol? Aren’t I a good mummy to you?” I asked whilst scratching between his ears. Ollie purred loudly in response. I sighed realizing how stupid I sounded before tearing a piece of crust off my slice of pizza and popping it in my mouth. Jessa had been right, New Year’s Eve was total bullshit.

My phone began buzzing violently and I groaned knowing it was probably another basic “Happy New Year” text or Penny probably bothering me about why I wasn’t out. After retrieving my mobile from it’s usually place between the cushions I’d noticed that I’d received a considerable amount of message within the span of the day. 1 message from Jessa, 1 from Dad and 1 from Mum, 2 from Penny, 1 from Liam and finally a whopping 4 from Harry along with three missed calls.

I sighed tapping the most recent text message.

You haven’t died on me have you? Seriously though, I’m worried.Hx

It’s official. I’d successfully created a monster.

After the whole Murray encounter today I’d been purposely ignoring everyone but mostly Harry in particular. As much I’d grown to love talking to him and being around him, it would only make me feel worse. I’m starting to think that maybe it would be best if I just give up whatever it is that Harry and I have going on but I really don’t want to.

Realizing that my thoughts had gotten the better of me and that I’d been sitting sedentary for hours with only five minuets left in the present year, I decided it was probably best if I just called it a night. With a yawn I rose from my spot on the sofa and padded to the kitchen, dumping the nearly untouched glass of wine down the sink and placing the box of pizza on the countertop. From my kitchen window I could hear people in the streets counting down to the New Year.

“5..”

“4..”

“3..”

I could feel Ollie curling around my feet and I couldn’t help but hope that maybe next year would be much better.

“2..”

“ 1 ”

An explosion of fireworks echoed through the city.

“Happy New Year!”

I sighed at the thought of all the people down below receiving New’s Year’s kisses and proposals. Maybe it wasn’t that silly. At least not to them.

“Well,” I announced stooping down to pick up Ollie. “Happy New Year, bub. Maybe you’ll have more luck than me.”

He purred happily, nuzzling into my neck. That put a smile on face and I couldn’t help but think if I lost everyone else in my life I’d still always have Ollie.
A loud, almost booming knock on my door ended our moment and I scowled, highly annoyed with whomever was on the other side of the door. A little after midnight is not the proper time to knock on anyone’s door.

I sat Ollie down before cautiously approaching the door, standing on my tippy toes slightly to get a peek through the peephole . My eyes were met with the blurry sight of a very familiar looking fedora and a mass of curls. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in.

“Shit.” I cursed under my breath before swiftly unlocking the door.

His head jerked up and he smiled brightly as his green eyes met mine.

“What the hell is your problem, Harry? You can’t just go knocking on people’s doors this late at night and on New Year’s! You could’ve been-”

I didn’t have time to react before he gently grabbed my face and ended my rant by pressing his mouth to mine. I stood there, stiff as a board from shock at first but it wasn’t long before I’d melted into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck for better access.

“ I tried to get here on time, to give you the first kiss of New Year’s. But damn it, looks like I’m late.” Harry rasped once we’d finally pulled away biting the corner raspberry colored lip.

I grinned, bringing my forehead closer to his.

“Well, ya know what they say, better late than never.”

I kicked the door closed before leaning back in and pressing the most gentle kiss to his mouth. My bad mood had instantly been cured.

“Happy New Year, love.” he mumbled, breaking the kiss once more.

I let out a groan, star-crossed with aggravation and lust.

“Less talking. More kissing.” I panted.

We were at it again, mouths and limbs entangled. Harry’s feet moved forward whilst mine insisted on going backward but both sets of limbs were headed in the same direction. Luckily, Harry’s weight had finally got the better of me when we’d safely made it to the sofa collapsing into the cushions in a fit full of giggles.

Harry sat up adjusting the fedora on his head with a sheepish grin.

“I didn’t crush you did I?” He asked sounding genuinely concerned.

I chuckled before reaching out and dragging my thumb across his swollen bottom lip.

“You run your mouth too much, Styles.”

I felt suddenly bold, crawling onto Harry’s lap and perching there in a straddling position. I snatched the hat off of his head slinging it across the room in one swift motion.

“Won’t be needing that.” I purred darkly.

Something about Harry’s expression was a blend of arousal and surprise. Hell, I was surprising myself.

It was his turn to lean in again. His hand caressed the back of my head as he brought my mouth to meet his, our noses brushing slightly. He nearly drove me wild when his tongue darted between my lips and lazily roamed around my mouth only stopping to brush against my own every now and then.
Holy fuck, this is madness.

My hands found their way to his hair, weaving my fingers through his soft tresses and I moaned, feeling the coolness of his fingertips pressing into my flesh. Harry pulled away, catching his breath before tapping his finger lightly against the fabric of my jumper.

“May I?” he drawled through jagged breaths.

I nodded, struggling to catch my own breath and not having the words to say. Maybe I was still trying to figure out how things had escalated this far or maybe I was pleasantly surprised at how Harry still kept his chivalrous composure during the heat of passion.

I could feel the goosebumps rising along my arm as the jumper landed on the floor beside us, my skin exposed to the draft of the night.

“Nice.”

Harry smirked down at my chest gesturing to the black lacy bra I was wearing. I looked down myself, having forgotten what undergarments I’d chosen that morning and pleased I’d made such a wise choice.

Note to self: bake celebratory cake once this is over.

My breath hitched in my throat as he dragged his finger tips across my bare shoulder pulling one of the straps down slowly. Harry then leaned over, peppering the exposed skin with kisses and working his way up to my neck. He’d started out gentle and teasing but his kisses soon turned corrupted as he mercilessly nipped and sucked at the most sensitive regions of my flesh. My breathing had grown ragged and I wasn’t even trying to suppress my moans. This was just the push I needed. My loins were on fire. I needed release and by the bulge that had grown between my legs, it was evident that Harry need it too.

“We should take this to the bedroom.” I whispered in his ear.

“Sounds like a plan.” he panted in response before nipping at my ear lobe.
I don’t think I’d ever been driven to the edge of insanity in this way before. So effortlessly. I’d thought I had total control of everything but it was becoming quite clear that Harry had all the power. He was an expert at this, knowing just the right buttons to push that would leave me a moaning mess. Funny thing is this was just the beginning.

I rammed my hips against his pelvis in response, satisfied to get a low moan out of him.

“Fuck, Presley, ” he hissed. “Do that again and we’ll never make it to a bed.
I smirked, wiggling off his lap before standing to my feet.

The sight of him sitting there, curls spewed about his head by the doing of my fingers and green eyes wild with desire was incredibly sexy. I was so used to seeing Harry so put together, dimpled grins and boyish charm, overly polite and relentlessly gentlemanly. That was the Harry everyone saw. But tonight I wanted a different Harry, rugged and dominant, rude and untamed. That’s the Harry I wanted to see.

"You coming or not?” I questioned sauntering in the direction of my bedroom.

Harry must have recovered from his daze much quicker than I expected, I could feel him right at my heels, his large hand reaching out briefly to give my arse a swift pat. My veins were pumping with adrenaline, high off of arousal and anticipation. I felt dizzy almost as if I was drunk . I didn’t know what had gotten into me.

I yanked my bedroom door open, startling Ollie who’d been comfortably curled at the foot of the bed and causing him to dart out of the room.

Harry chuckled.

“Looks like we’ve scared him off, yeah?”

I smirked wrapping my arms around his neck.

“If you keep killing the mood I’m gonna kick you out too.” I threatened.

His only response was grab my hips, hoisting me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist. I leaned in, pressing a hungry kiss to his mouth as he carried me to bed. As my body made contact with the mattress it dawned on me that this was happening. This was actually happening and as turned on as I was that was actually a bit frightening.

I tried not to think about sex with Harry but when the idea did drift into my mind I always figured I’d be under different circumstances. Why was I doing in this in the first place? Because I was horny and needed to forget what a horrible person I was? Was this really going to make me feel any better about myself?

I could feel these unsolicited tears stinging the corner of my eyes as I watched Harry working the buttons on his shirt.

“H, stop!” I shouted.

He froze, staring down at me with those piercing green eyes.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? I’ve got a condom.” His voice grew frantic and I sighed sitting up on the bed.

“It’s not you Harry, It’s all me.” I groaned, placing my head in my hands.

I could hear him sigh and feel the bed dipping. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed and emotionally unstable.

His hand rested on my thigh.

“What do you mean it’s you? You were driving me wild back there. Sexiest thing I’ve seen in a while.”

I tore my hands away from my face. Slowly brining my head up to face him.

Even with his hair all disheveled and sexual frustration visible on his face he still looked so genuinely concerned.

“I’m sorry, I just- I feel like such a fucking tease.” I hissed.

“Presley, it’s okay if you wanted to stop. That’s still probably the best say fifteen minuets of my life.”

I sighed.

“I at least owe you a handjob.” I replied sheepishly.

Harry chuckled before wrapping his arms around me.

“Nah. S ‘alright.” he insisted.

We sat there in silence, listening to the sound of each other’s breathing.

“What should we do now?” I asked stupidly.

“How about we just sleep?” he drawled.

I grinned as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“That sounds like the best idea ever.”