Disenchanted

I want to tell you so
Before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't wanna let go
Let go, let go of you

By some twisted form of a miracle, I managed to get back to Jack’s house first. It gave me time to really take in the newest on the growing list of bombshells in my life. Finding out I’d been in an accident had been rough. Meeting Melody had been wild. Finding out I’d lost five years of my life was devastating. But this? This was like every single shot of bad news I’d been given rolled into one. I felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart, torn into a million tiny little pieces, betrayed, forgotten, worthless-- every metaphor ever given for heartbreak, I felt it.

I decided to perch myself on the lower half of the stairs while I waited for the inevitable moment when Jack would return home. That way, I’d be able to confront him the minute he arrived. There would be no avoiding this, no denying this any longer. We were going to be honest like he had always sworn he would be.

I’m not sure how long I sat on the wood steps. Could’ve been a minute, or it could’ve been an hour, I frankly didn’t care. I was numb to the world. My eyes were glued to the front door, watching and waiting for Jack to walk through the door and explain everything.

For a split second, I tried to reason my otherwise bitter thoughts, thinking that maybe the tabloids got things wrong. That maybe, just maybe, this whole engagement thing was just one big misunderstanding.

But then I remembered that look on Pete’s face, how apologetic he’d been for breaking the news to me. Pete knew Jack; it would be anything but logical for Pete to tell me about the upcoming wedding had it just been some fabricated lie the media made up. It had to be true.

My mind flashed back to when Jo had visited earlier that morning, and how she’d kept stealing glances at Jack, and how he couldn’t seem to stop smiling every time Jo gave him a compliment. The more I thought about it, the more I swore I even saw him blush.

That son of a bitch.

It was as I was cursing his name that he finally decided to appear. The door flew open, making me jolt up at the startling movement. He was smiling, laughing at something Melody was telling him. And, of course, Jo was right behind. I wasn’t totally surprised at this point, given their newfound relationship status and everything. I kept my lips tight as I watched them enter, oblivious to my presence. That is, until Jack happened to look up.

“Oh, hey!” His eyes widened, that stupid smile only fading slightly as he greeted me. “You haven’t been waiting there the whole time, have you?”

I flinched at his cheery tone, unable to take in his warm, friendly voice at all. I hated how it only felt like it was plunging the sword deeper into my heart. It was almost like seeing him and Jo with Melody was fate’s way of taunting me. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been my family. But thanks to things completely out of my control, I had found myself replaced. I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

Then, I glanced over at Melody and suddenly that anger turned back to sadness. She barely knew who I was, and I was sure it wouldn’t be long before she started referring Jo as her mom while I’d be stuck as ‘the other one’. How in the world was that fair?

I swallowed hard, tearing my eyes away from Melody as I finally willed myself to respond to Jack. “I know.” I kept my voice flat, but firm all the same.

“You what?” He tilted his head, the cheeriness in his eyes beginning to fade as I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.

“I know.” I repeated, louder. My eyes shot up to meet his in a steely gaze as I added, “I know everything.”

He gulped, almost dropping Melody’s backpack as he did so. “Uh, Mel?” He muttered, his voice suddenly dry. “How about you go upstairs and play in your room for a bit?” His brown eyes glanced at me nervously. “Mommy and I need to talk.”

Unfazed by the sudden coldness in the room, Melody nodded with a simple, “Okay.” Then, after she waved at me, she hoped around me and up the stairs without another word.

I peered up the stairs, waiting to hear her door shut. When I did, I could feel every bit of emotion I’d felt since discovering Jack’s secret rise inside me like a torrential wave. “How could you?” I hissed, shaking my head at Jack while Jo stood behind him, oddly silent for once as she bowed her head in shame. “How could you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry...it just...I was going to tell you, I swear.” Jack stammered, the guilt written all over his face.

I rolled my eyes, scoffing. “You should’ve told me before I stepped foot in this goddamn house. You should’ve told me before I agreed to come home with you!” I shot up, pacing the step of the stairs with speedy frustration. “I mean, it’s no wonder my mom didn’t want me to stay here. You’re fucking getting married! To her!” My pointer finger shot towards Jo and as it did, my eyes wandered down to her left hand to find that, sure enough, she was now sporting a big, fat diamond ring on her engagement finger.

How could I have missed that before?

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Jack sighed after taking a beat in an attempt to let my anger dissipate in the air.

I let out a low growl. “Don’t you see how betrayed I feel? Saying you’re sorry isn’t going to change a thing, Jack.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say?” He shot back, the tension beginning to get to him as well. “I waited for you, as long as I could. But it was so goddamn hard, not knowing if you’d ever wake up, not knowing if Melody would ever have her mom back. And you know who was there for me?” He turned his head to look at Jo before bravely taking her hand. “Jo. Jo helped me heal. She helped me love, and I’m sorry if that hurts to hear, but it’s true.” He paused, finally turning back to me with new found confidence. “I love her.”

I flinched again at hearing him say such a thing out loud. It might’ve been true, but it was still a low blow. “You love her.” I numbly repeated, the words feeling sour on my tongue.

He nodded.

“Then what the fuck am I doing here?” I asked him, my voice rising uncontrollably as I had lost any bit of control over my emotions the second I heard him confirm this wretched nightmare. “I mean, I’ve clearly been replaced, right?” I added bitterly.

Jack shook his head in annoyance. “Come on, don’t be like that--”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I snapped angrily, shooting past him and Jo as I headed for the door. I couldn’t be here anymore. Not after this. “I have to get out of here...” My hand was on the handle, one motion away from freedom when Jack’s voice froze me in my tracks.

“Sally, please don’t leave me.”

I could feel the shivers run down my spine as the desperation in his voice was as transparent as my anger had been. It was raw and as honest as I had wished he’d been from the beginning. A part of me wanted slap him for daring to say that to me after what he’d just admitted, while another part wanted to turn back around and just abide by his wishes, to make this distorted version of a family work. But deep down I knew that it was a pipe dream. As long as he loved her, as long as Jo was in the picture, there was no way this would ever work.

“You lost me the second you decided I wasn’t worth waiting for.” I sniffled, whispering hands down the hardest words I’d ever had to say.

Then before he could say anything else, before he could convince me to change my mind, I opened the front door and walked away without a second glance.