I Will Make You Believe....

Josh and I didn't know what else to say after our conversation before the show. We continued with our plans and the show went pretty smooth. I had told my vendors to count all of the merchandise at the end of the night and leave it out by design and size. It went so smooth that as soon as the gear was loaded out they were ready for me to come and do the final count out. We put the numbers in my spreadsheet and I counted the money to make sure everything was correct. It was literally perfect. I gave everyone their pay, plus a bonus and they were on their way once we had everything in the truck. Unfortunately, the crew, Tyler, and Josh had left for the airport already. They were flying to Colorado for a fest and some press and would be flying back in tomorrow night. I was the only one on the bus and it felt very weird as Randy stepped on.

"Hey there little lady," the southern gentleman greeted me as he stepped on," just you tonight yeah?" I nodded at him from the front lounge couch where I sat. My legs curled up underneath me and a warm tea in my hands. I hadn't left the front lounge since stepping on the bus as there was no need to.

"Well let me do my checks and then we will be on our way. Thanks for the coffee again, it's very kind of you." He smiled, noticing the steaming cup of joe that sat in the cupholder designated for the driver. I always made sure to grab a cup for our driver out of the green room before we left. There was no point in them paying for their coffee if we had free coffee already.

"I'll probably be asleep when you get back up here. Thanks again Randy." He gave me a thumbs up before he walked off the bus.

I took my tea, my backpack, and my shoes to the back lounge. First thing I did was put on Masterchef. Josh and I had decided to watch it one night at random and now I was hooked. Next I called Trina on face time.

"Hey girl! I'm on lunch. Shouldn't you be cuddled up to the boyfriend right now?" I chuckled at my friend in her kitten covered scrubs.

"He's about to get on a flight to Colorado. They have a one off fest there and since we shipped the merch, I stayed behind." She was eating a sandwich while I spoke so she just nodded in response.

"I need someone to talk this situation out with." She looked at me with concerned eyes and put her sandwich down.

"Is everything ok?" I shrugged as I carefully balanced my phone on the back of the couch so I could speak with her and unpack the money from tonight.

"I mean yeah, everything is great."

"Then why did you call me?" I sighed and looked back up at her.

"Is there a way to normalize a relationship when you work with and live with the person?" She looked even more concerned now.

"You can't normalize love, Chips. If you love someone, it can move as fast as it has to. If you're concerned that you're moving to fast still then you should probably be having this conversation with Josh..." I shook my head.

"I'm not concerned that we're moving to fast, I'm concerned that I'm ok with how things are going," She looked confused so I continued," today he told me that he just wished we could spend more time together and it got to the point where we admitted that we weren't ready to uproot each other from our current living situations. Then I realized that we already basically live together and we're spending the rest of the year mostly together too..." I didn't know how to continue. That's when she just kinda stared at me.

"What?" I asked her.

"I dunno. Seems like you're pseudo asking me to move out..." I went wide eyed.

"No! No, that's definitely not what I am asking. I just don't know if I'm going in the right direction here and I need my best friend's help..." she just chuckled.

"Sweetie, I can't tell you which direction to take your relationship. It does certainly sound like you want to hear from someone else that you're not crazy." She chuckled. When I went to speak, she interrupted me.

"Love is crazy though, it's part of why we crave it. Only you and Josh can give thought to if you're willing to jump in." I sighed as she just stared at me.

"This is just difficult for me Trina. I just don't know if I'm ready to fully give myself up to him...." she chuckled.

"Chips, you told him about your family, you let him be the first one to be with you ever, heck you even slept with him! I think you already did and keep denying it for your own sanity..."

Trina was completely right. I was the only person preventing me from believing that this was just love and I was in it.

"Does this mean you'd be ok if I moved out?" She just chuckled.

"Of course. And because I know you, you'll always be welcomed back if something happens." I just smiled at her.

"Now why don't you get some sleep. You're gonna want to be fully rested for that convo with Josh." I gave her anther small smile.

"Thanks Trina. Thanks for always being there for me."