I Want the Truth

Blue eyes peered across the room watching her every movement; he didn’t dare look away in fear that she would dissipate right before him, and that was something he couldn’t lose. Ida had been his closest friend for a little over four years and to him it wasn't a surprise to him that Ida was stealing the show. It was her Birthday after all.

He felt amused looking at all of the girls who gazed at Ida with envy. It was no surprise; she was always the odd one out. Tattoo’s covered the tops of her strapless dress, and little holes still scarred her ears from the plugs she wore as a teenager. In Tom’s group of friends along with family, they always thought it was a strange thing to see, but that was one of the many things that drew him to her.

She never tried to hide her emotions; they were vibrant and clear to anyone who walked passed her, anyone lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her porcelain face. He felt a smile drape his lips, watching her wasn’t hard to do. It was pulling his eyes away from her that was difficult.

Ida was the opposite to Tom when it came to parties, she never wanted to stay longer then what she had to, even if it was for birthday party or a wedding announcement, she’d rather sit at home and read a book or watch a movie, but she knew that Aleah had been planning her birthday party for months.

Tom could tell she was uncomfortable with all of the attention on her. She tried her best to put on a smile and pretend to be comfortable. He watched the charismatic girl bounce from one conversation to another. He contemplated if he should attempt to ease her obvious pain and make his way over to her, and right when he mustered up the courage to push through the crowd, his movements were stopped by his sister Aleah.

“Don’t even think about it, Thomas. It was like pulling teeth to get her here! She didn't even want to come”

Tom straightened his tie. “Why must you always be in my business when it comes to her? You're like a nagging mother...we already have a mother Leah.”

“I live with her and she is my friend before yours, and I refuse to see her continuously get hurt by my own brother. The only reason she is here is because of myself and mother. It has nothing to do with you.” She gazes at her brother in disgust. "I swear to god if you ruin her own birthday party there will be blood."

“We discussed it; we moved on, she’s too young for someone like me, I’m almost thirty- two years old, she’s twenty-three! She can't possibly be in love with someone so much older then her!” He gazed at Ida who started to look a little different than usual, she looked sensitive, and that made him crave to comfort her more. “I just don’t want to lose her over all of this pity stuff.”

“She saw an opportunity to be honest and express her feelings before it was too late, that’s not pitiful that’s bravery! What would you have done?!”

“She practically made me choose between the two!” The annoyance and rage grabbed the attention from the people who surrounded the two. He lowered his voice allowing everyone to go back to their business.

“She didn’t ask you to throw away any relationship! Put yourself in her shoes Tom, how would you feel at this moment?”

“Just let me fix this.” He pleaded.

“The damage from rejection is already done, Tom. There isn’t anything to fix. Stop trying, just let her enjoy her 24th birthday.”

Her words didn’t discourage Tom. Instead he set his glass of wine on the bar counter and continued to walk over to Ida who was making a B-line for the exit of the rented out building.

Peering out the door he yelled, “Ida!” Tom could hardly see her shadow rounding the side of the building. Was she really trying to hide from him? Had his words effected her that much?

“Ida, stop!” He softly jogged to catch up to her; he grabbed her shoulder forcing her to stop. His smile faded when he saw the streaks of tears on her face. “What are you doing, you’re going to catch a cold running around that dress.” He rubbed her cheek with his thumb, “Why are you so sad, darling?” Stupid question, he already knew why she was sad.

“Sorry.” She said pulling away and drying her eyes, “I just, I can't be here. This is too much for me seeing you with her and i know that I am the reason Aleah and your mother are angry with you."

He softly spoke, “So it's true?”

She curiously gazed at the thin tall man in front of her. “Is what true?”

“You know what! Now tell me if it’s true Ida, am I losing you for good? Are you going to run back home?” He didn't mean for his voice to sound as harsh as it did, but Tom felt guilt and remorse for breaking Ida's heart.

Staring at the ground she stayed quiet not being able to respond.

“So this is it?” He asked. "You're really leaving me."

She felt like he had backed her into a corner, and if anyone knew Ida, they knew that was something she couldn’t handle. “Tom." She said finally meeting his eyes. "You did this to yourself. You lied and lead me on, you made me believe things that weren't true. You completely shattered what was left of me." She paused. "I can't do it anymore.You chose her...and I still can't understand why..."

“Ida you promised that we would get over this chapter of our lives. You said we weren’t going to let your silly crush get in the way of our friendship." He paused as he carefully chose his words. "I don't want you to go but if you must I will try to be understanding as long as you be understanding of the choices I made. I want you to be understanding of the fact that I love you Ida, but I’m in love with Angie. Darling, you have to know that this is just as hard for me. I can’t lose you my dearest friend. My heart is also breaking.”

Ida could hear the sadness of Tom's voice ringing in her ears but she didn't dare fall for his lame excuses. “It’s too late, you already lost me that night that you laughed at my feelings and said that we couldn't be together. I can't just be your friend Tom..I can't do it I can't hold on to some false hope that one day you will wake up and love me.” She paused; biting her lip in hopes that her tears would stay locked away, she didn’t want to cry. That would only make her look more childish in Tom’s eyes. “You played with my head for five years, Tom. Now please, just for once in your life don’t be selfish with me. Let me go. I have to get out of here before I lose myself completely.”

“I’m sorry, Ida.I never meant for this to happen. I'll always have a special place for you in my heart. I didn't picture things to turn out this way.” Tom knows that his words are not enough, that Ida had already made up her mind. "I wont be selfish, not this time. I love you dear Ida. I hope you find yourself when you get home."

Anger pulsated through her body was that all he could say? "What did you think was going to happen after five years of you telling me you loved me and taking me to shows with you...you took me to the BBC award shows as your pretend date all of the time. How could you have not expected me to eventually feel this way?" She pauses looking at him in disgust. "I introduce you to one friend and you automatically fall for her Tom...she's exactly like me, but older...is that why? Or is it because she's better then me? She's blond and beautiful...she doesn't have tattoo's all over her body or stupid holes in her ears?" Ida began to cry, she couldn't fight it anymore. "You're a piece of work Tom...I can't believe I fell for you."