Bury Me

Jared walks passed me with a look of defeat plastered on his face. His aura reeks of frustration and irritation. Part of me wants to tell him to calm down and the other part of me wants to laugh at him and throw a few jokes at his expense.

He plops down on the hotel bed and flips open his laptop. He must have caught wind that the girls were hanging out with Ian last night. I knew they were up to something even if they didn’t admit it. The difference between Jared and I, was that I could laugh it off. I didn’t care that Axelle spent 400.00 on a hotel room. I didn’t care that she must have bought drinks for everyone last night, what was the point of having money if you weren’t going to share the wealth?

I stretch out on the couch and grab the a throw pillow from behind my head and toss it towards him. Lucky for him it lands right in front of him. He lifts his eyes from the screen his annoyance is filling the fucking room and I’m starting to catch his bad vibes. I shake the feeling off and ask him a question I already know the answer to. “Have you talked to Ms. Willow this morning?”

“Nope.” He says popping the p. “She’s gonna be too hung over-” He stops midsentence. His eyes harden as he stares at his laptop.

“You good, dude?”

He stands up and walks over to me shaking his head in disapproval. He shows me his laptop and points to the picture of Axelle and Willow standing next to our friend Ian. Axelle of course is flipping the camera off and Willow has her arm around Ian’s waist while she’s sticking her tongue out which is usually a typical Jared move, that I guess Willow adopted.

“The only thing I ever ask of her is to stay out of the paparazzi. The only fucking thing.” He plops down next to me and begins to rub his temples.

“Oooo. Willow is Ian’s new mystery girl. I have to know how this relationship plays out!” I jokingly push his shoulder. “She’s not doing anything wrong. It’s Ian...” I click out of the gossip column and hand Jared back his laptop.

He brushes his grown out bangs from his face. “It’s not that, man. Since when has Willow been a drinker? She never drinks its part of the reason I’m attracted to her. She knows how to have fun without being under the influence of anything and every time I’ve talked to her these last few weeks she’s either been wasted or hung over.”

I lean back against the wall. I can see concern written all over his face but I don’t want to encourage his anxieties. “Lighten up. She’s just living her life as a twenty-five year old woman. Shit happens. She’s having fun. I’m actually pretty stoked to see they are out and about…even if Axelle did spend 400.00 fucking dollars on a hotel room.” It’s true. I’m not mad. Usually the girls are such homebodies that it’s nice to know that they are entertaining themselves without us.
Jared rolls his eyes. “Why do you let her do that?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Because it’s Axelle and I don’t care, what’s mine is hers. I mean I’m marrying her...Oh.” I grab my phone from my pocket. “I’m gonna skype the girls make sure they aren’t dead.” I press call on Axelle’s name and don’t give Jared an opportunity to disagree. It rings several times before I’m greeted by what I think is Axelle.

“Babe!” She loudly groans. “I’m dying.”

I quiet my laughter as she adjusts herself. She straightens out her messy hair and wipes the black eyeliner off of her face. Her lipstick is smudged but I don’t care, I’m happy to see that she is still breathing.

“Whatchya doin?”

“Nothing.” She looks around the room. I’m assuming she’s trying to figure out where she is.

“What did you girls do last night?”

Jared scoots next to me hoping that he can join in on the conversation but Willow is nowhere to be seen.

She shrugs her shoulders and attempts to wipe the tiredness from her eyes. “Babe, I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t know, but we woke up in a hotel room. I think Ian is somewhere around here.”

I see Jared’s smile fade and concern overpowers him. “Is Willow with you?”

She nods her head. “Hi Jared and yes she’s with me.” She rolls over on her side and pulls the blanket off of Willow’s head. “Willow say hi to Jared.” Axelle shakes Willow’s shoulder again and slowly she stirs awake. She opens her eyes and is not impressed when she sees the phone in her face that is showing Jared and I.

“Mornin Princess.” I tease. “You look like you got hit by a fucking train.”

She slowly sits against the head board. Finally when she comes to, she grabs the phone from Axelle’s hands. “Fuck off, Shannon.” Her eyes finally meet Jared’s and she looks like she is on the verge of tears but instead of showing it she takes in a deep breath and says. “Hey, babe. Do you have a second to talk?”

(Jared POV)

I grab the phone from Shannon’s hands excited to finally hear and see Willow but the face I’m greeted with does not have that toothy grin that I was expecting. It’s Willow, but she’s not feeling cheerful maybe it was the hangover. That’s gotta be it. She drank too much and now she’s feeling it.

“Hey babe. Do you have a second to talk?” She looks like she’s on the verge of tears and my brain automatically assumes the worst. What did she do?

I nod my head yes and stick my headphones into the phone. Sure the guys could hear me but at least Willow’s end would be confidential. “Yeah.”

She runs her fingers through her hair. “Hey.” She quietly says.

“Hey.” I observe her body movements. She looks tired and she’s squinting at the lights. She looks a little skinner then the last time I saw her. I think she may look a little paler then usual as well, or maybe it’s the new dark circles around her eyes that are throwing me off. I know I’m looking at Willow but this time she looks like the Tim Burton version of Willow and I suddenly I feel sick. Is there something wrong with her that I don’t know about?

“Party animal?” I say hoping to get some sort of smile from her.

Willow cringes at my words. She blinks a few times before responding. There’s an emptiness resting in her eyes. I feel slightly uncomfortable with the way she’s holding herself.

“Man, Axelle ratted me out?” She wipes her eyes. Her words slightly slur. She sounds like she might be a little drunk still.

“No babe. TMZ ratted you out.” Chuckling I say, “There are pictures of you and Ax with Ian. They say you’re his new mystery girl.” I try to say it in a teasing manor but I can feel my throat tighten and my skin crawl at the idea of Willow being with someone other than myself.
Her eyes widen. She must have forgotten parts of the night. “Jared.” She quietly says.

I push my fingers through my hair. “Yeah?”

She stands up and pulls the blankets off of her body. The screen shakes as she makes her way into the bathroom. I feel my nerves kick in as she slides down the wall. When the camera adjusts, her face in focus and she looks like she’s going to tell me something I don’t want to hear.

“I love you.” She quietly says.

I take in a deep breath relieved. “I love you too, more than anything in this world.” I pretend to kiss the screen. I wish I could kiss her in real fucking life.

“Can you come home yet?” She sadly asks. “I just want to feel you next to me. This isn’t enough, babe.” Sadness rests in her usual hopeful eyes.

“Soon. Trust me. I’m ready to come home to you. There are so many things I want to do with you when I come home.” I playfully wiggle my eyebrows at her. “Only two more months.”

She drops her gaze from mine. I can see that her emotions are starting to take over. She quickly wipes her eyes before any tears can fully fall. “I just want you home.” She mumbles.

“I know. I’ll be home soon. Ok? Until then I need you to stay strong and know that I’m thinking of you every second of the day.” I pause for a brief second. I search her green eyes for some sort of answers but she isn’t budging.

She softly nods her head. “It’s getting harder and harder every time you leave me.” She shakes her head as if she’s telling herself no. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

I feel like someone just kicked me in the stomach and all the air has been knocked out of my lungs. I never thought I’d hear those words come from her mouth. I never stopped to think that she could be having second thoughts. “Willow, you’re not giving up on us are you?” I hear my voice lightly crack. My heart races in my chest. I feel like I’m going to vomit. “Willow. Answer me. I need to hear you tell me you aren’t giving up on me…you aren’t giving up on us.”

She rests her hand over her eyes and takes in a deep shaky breath. “I have to go Jared. I’ll talk to you later.”