Anxiety

Music is the life line in my life. It gets me through my toughest times. That's why I chose to sing. I'm not one of those big time singers. Just every weekend and sometimes weeknight bar girl. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to be asked to come to a night club and sing for the people there, but mostly I stick to the bars. Although the clubs don't have nearly as many grabby people there. My husband, Tyson, is my manager. We've been married for nearly three years now. It's been the worst three years of my life. Tyson is not a nice man, never really has been. He gets physical when he's drunk or mad. He can't take his eyes off me, and he makes sure every man that comes in visual contact with me knows that I'm his.
I've wanted nothing more than to divorce him since the first time he laid a hand on me. But my family doesn't believe in divorce and I would hate to disappoint them more than I already have. My mom and my dad are super supportive of my singing. It pays the bills and it's something that I enjoy deeply. I want to make them as happy and proud of me as possible and divorcing Tyson would be one of the worst things I could do. They would not approve and that to me is something that I take seriously.
No kids in my life. Thank god. I can't imagine that Tyson would be much better at being a parent. He already sucks as a spouse. I can't see having kids with him either. He talks about it but I always manage to change the subject back to something else. I don't know. Maybe I'm a bad wife. Maybe he's a bad husband. Either way our marriage will never last. I constant walk on eggshells, afraid of what to do or to say to him. The bruises are just now starting to heal up from his last temper tantrum.
Being a 24 year old singer is the most incredible thing in my life. But life has a funny way of shutting you down when you find the true meaning of happiness.