Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Jennifer’s Point Of View ~♦~

After our conversation about where I was going to live when we got to Huntington beach we ended up in silence yet again. We stopped for dinner at a drive thru and I quickly ran into the bathrooms and took a pill and after I got back into the car I fell asleep again.

I felt the car stop but I didn’t have enough energy to open my eyes or move. I heard the hushed voices of my parents talking and willed them to just be quiet so I could sleep some more.

“Aww look at her sleeping, she looks so sweet.” I heard my mum say and could tell from her voice that she was smiling.

“I don’t think we should wake her, she’s had a long day.” I heard my dad say. Did I ever mention how intelligent that guy is?

“Alright, Matt you carry her up to the guest room, me and your dad will get the bags.” I heard some more noises and soon my car door was swinging open, letting the cool night air hit me, and Matt picked me up.

After a few minutes I felt myself being placed on one of the most comfortable beds ever and the covers being pulled over me. I opened my eyes to see Matt walking back towards the door.

“Matt?” I tried to shout but it came out as more of a whisper due to my half asleep state. He turned around and looked at me, his expression telling me to continue. “Thanks, for what you did earlier.” I said referring to when he scared off the two boys.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m your brother, scaring off all the guys that even look at you is what I‘m here for.” he smiled, his comment made me laugh slightly.

“And thanks, for helping get me out of Lakeview.” he nodded his head before reaching up to the light switch.

“Goodnight Jen.” he smiled.

“Night Matt.” I smiled back before he turned off the light and closed the door on his way out of the room.

Once he was gone I bit my lip, looking around the dark, shadow filled room and only one thought was going through my head. ‘ I’m out.’ I was taking comfort in the fact that not only was I out of Lakeview, but I was out of Arizona as well. That meant I could have a new start, a new beginning and hopefully I would get everything right this time.

But there were two things that were holding me back from having the new beginning I wanted and one thing was sitting rolled up in a sweater in four individual bags and the other was the fact that I needed what was in those bags.

At the thought of the pills lying in my bag I quickly pulled the covers off of me and jumped out of the bed. I flicked on the light and scanned the room looking for my bag. It wasn’t here!

I ran my hand through my hair and bit my lip. Knowing my luck they would have already opened the bag, picked up the jumper and my secret would have spilled out all over the living room floor giving them ten minutes to scream at me before packing me off back to Lakeview.

But whether or not they had opened the bag didn’t matter, either way I had to go get it.

So I quickly but quietly opened the bedroom door and walked down the hall and down the stairs and into the living room were my mum and dad were sitting talking.

“Hey Jen, I thought you were sleeping.” smiled my mum as she took a sip from her coffee cup.

“Yeah, erm do you know where my bag is?” I asked as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other awkwardly as I looked from my mum then to my dad.

“ Matt had it I think, didn’t he?” she turned around to dad an he nodded in agreement she then turned back to me. “Yeah Matt had it.” my eyes went wide and I started breathing heavily.

“Do you know where he is?” I asked hopefully. As I crossed my arms over my chest.

“He’s on his way to his house, left about five minutes ago actually.” smiled dad as he flicked through the TV channels.

“So he left my bag….” I left the end of the sentence for one of them to finish.

“It should be out in the hallway Jen, didn’t you see it on your way down?” I shook my head. “Oh.. I’m not sure where he put it then. I think you should go to bed and find it in the morning, you look really tired.” replied mum.

“I can’t, I need it now!” I huffed before turning and wandering through the house, praying to god he hadn’t taken it with him. I searched high and low without even a trace of it. I couldn’t believe it, I needed those pills! What would I do without them?

“Jen!” I heard my mum call when I’d went back into the room Matt had put me in and was searching that again.

“Mum I’m kinda busy right now!” I called back as I leaned down on my knees to check under the bed although I wasn’t sure how he would have gotten it under there since I hadn’t been sleeping and I would have noticed.

“Jen your bag’s down here!” I heard her call and instantly shot up and out of the room, running down the stairs so fast I nearly tripped, not once, but twice. I ran into the living room and saw her standing holding it.

“It was hiding next to the couch.” she smiled as she handed it to me. I quickly grabbed it and she frowned slightly. “Why did you get yourself into such a state anyway?” she asked and I had to think of a quick reply.

“The shawl my adoptive mum used to wrap me in when I was a baby is in here. I couldn’t live with myself if I’d lost it.” she nodded and the room was filled with an awkward silence. “Anyway I’m gonna go to bed. I’m pretty tired.”

I turned and walked up the stairs quietly hoping didn’t make them too suspicious. Once I got upstairs I went into the room and shoved the bag under the bed before crawling in and going to sleep, not even bothering to get changed.