Diary Of Insanity

~♦~ Zacky’s Point Of View ~♦~

I knew there had been something wrong and I knew it was something extreme. When I was talking to Chloe over the phone she seemed very edgy, worried and angry. And I’d been right.

Jenny was an addict. She’d been hiding it ever since she left Lakeview and the episode up in her room was apparently because she hadn’t had anything for the past twelve hours. I must admit I’d never have thought that she’d be addicted to the meds she’d been given at the institute but then again with the doses they were giving it wasn’t really a surprise.

When I heard that she’d gone through the past three weeks of this alone I felt really bad, if only I’d have told someone sooner we could have got her help sooner. You could really tell she was Matt’s sister, she was a fighter, like him, and she didn’t want to depend on anyone else for help.

It was about four hours after Jen had told us about her problem and now we were all sitting in the living room talking, laughing and eating pizza. She was sitting on the couch opposite me and I could see her biting her nails again and fidgeting a lot.

I was talking to Chloe about something but I kept glancing over to Jen, I wasn’t sure if I should say something. But then she got up and walked into the kitchen and I couldn’t help but think of what she’d done the last time she’d acted like that.

I decided it would be better if I went to make sure she was okay so I went into the kitchen and saw her standing at the sink with a glass of water in her hand, but there was no sign of any pills, that was a good thing, right?

I walked closer and noticed she was shaking a lot and it sounded as though she were crying.

“Jen, are you alright?” I asked becoming very worried. At the sound of my voice she turned around quickly, her hand shooting to her face to wipe the tears away.

“Yeah, never been better.” she smiled, that cold not have been more of a lie and I could tell.

“You don’t look it. What’s wrong?” I asked. I glanced at her hand which was holding the glass of water and had to stop myself from biting my lip, her wrist was so thin that the bones were sticking out what should be a painful amount. This girl was pretty much just a skeleton. After a few seconds she broke down into tears again.

“Who am I kidding, I can’t do this!” she placed the glass on the worktop again and her hands went up to her face to wipe away the new, fast flowing tears.

“Jen, yes you can. It’s alright, everyone’s gonna help you.” I sighed and pulled her in for a hug, I didn‘t know what else to do, she was a wreck and it couldn’t be anymore obvious.

“But you shouldn’t have to. You all have your own lives, I don’t want you all to stop what your doing to help me. I’m a big girl, I should be able to do this myself.” she continued to sob and I sighed.

“Do you want me to go get Matt?” I asked, trying to think of some way to calm her down.

“No! I don’t wan him to see me like this.” I nodded and she pulled away from the hug before I handed her a tissue from the little box on the worktop.

“Thanks.” she smiled as she took it and wiped away the remaining tears. “God, how stupid. Crying when something is too much for me to handle, I’m so pathetic!” I shook my head.

“Crying doesn’t make you pathetic, it makes you human.” She smiled again and bit her lip slightly.

“Thanks for everything Zacky. I own you my life, without you I wouldn’t have this chance to get help.” I nodded and looked down. I didn’t really know what to say. “I mean it, thanks.” she smiled again and kissed me quickly before walking back to the living room.

I looked up and watched her leave the room. Matt’s little sister had just kissed me and I didn‘t know how I felt about it because as much as Matt would kill me for this, I was kind of starting to like Jen. I didn’t know what to do so I went back into the living room and sat down, starting a conversation up with Jimmy.

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“Okay well I better get going.” we all looked over at Chloe and gave her a pleading look. That girl was so much fun to hang out with, and all the stories she had about times her and Jen have had at Lakeview were priceless.

“Oh come on it’s 11pm, stay the night, we‘re gonna put a DVD on!” suggested Val and everyone nodded in agreement.

“I’m sorry I can’t, I have to go to work in 9 hours and it’ll take about 7 or 8 to get home.” she replied as she stood up and pulled on her coat. I’d almost forgot that she lived in Arizona.

After a few minutes Chloe has said goodbye to everyone and was on her way to her car. I then realised I’d forgotten to thank her for coming so I got up and ran outside to her.

“Chloe, wait!” she turned around and smiled when she saw me coming. “I forgot to thank you, for coming to help Jen.”

“Don’t be silly Zack, that girl is like a little sister to me, of course I’d come.” she smiled and I nodded I could see why they would care about each other so much, after what they’d been through together over the last two years.

“But still, If it wasn’t for you no one would know what was wrong with her and we wouldn’t be able to get her help.”

“No Zack, if it wasn’t for []you, you wouldn’t know what was wrong with her. You were the one that called me, without you she’d probably still be alone in this.” I nodded and she smiled.

“Well anyways thanks.”

“No problem Zack.” she smiled and pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek before whispering in my ear. “Look after her for me and trust me, she likes you to.” she pulled away and walked over to her car.

“What? How would you know?” I asked slightly embarrassed at the fact that Chloe knew I liked Jen when I’d only really acknowledged it a few hours ago.

“I just know.” she smiled again before getting in her car.

I turned around to face the house and saw Jen standing at the door looking very upset. I smiled at her and she turned around and ran back inside.