Paper Hearts

Levi didn’t bother going back to sleep. He walked over to the small corner of his apartment that was dedicated to his easel.

He finally had an idea for the 48 x 36 canvas that had been resting on his old easel for at least a week now.

He spent the next thirty minutes preparing his brushes, paints and other tools.

He also didn’t bother changing out the clothes he slept in, they had paint on them already from previous projects.

The man named Erwin had been the subject of Levi’s paintings since the dreams began. He had many 26 x 18 canvases dedicated to him hidden all around his apartment. Levi always made sure to paint the priest with his eyes open, whether they were serious, playful or full of need. Levi always made sure to focus a majority of his attention on those blue eyes.

This time, Levi went a completely different route. He painted Erwin the way he saw him after he died; cold, still, beautiful and with his eyes closed.

Levi caressed his canvas with his brush, the soothing sound of the paint being manipulated to his will comforted him. He had no control over what became of Erwin, but this was his world and he had the power. He didn’t stop until the alarm clock started screeching, pulling Levi from his little bubble.

Levi looked at the painting, the pain of this man dying in his arms coming back full force and he fell to the ground, body shaking with sobs.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Levi arrived at the small diner he worked at an hour after his shift was supposed to start.

“Sorry, Danny!” He called out to his manager over the clinking plates, chatter and usual bustle that belonged to the morning rush. “Lost track of time!” Levi quickly ran to the back to get ready for his shift. He washed his hands, draped his apron over his black shirt and wrapped his head in a dark blue bandana, using bobby pins to tame the fly away strands.

He hopped into the kitchen, nodding at the other cook, Emerich, and started setting up his station.

“Hey Levi,” Danny was standing at the wide window behind the counter, looking in at him. “Is everything okay?” Levi didn’t look up from the omelette and hashbrowns he was making.

“Yea, everything is fine. Just didn’t sleep well is all.” Danny nodded in understanding.

“Well, you know you can talk to me, if you need to.” Levi felt tense, aware of Emerich working alongside him.

“Thanks, Danny.” Levi looked up at him, making brief eye contact before returning his attention to the food. Danny nodded and knocked the wood with his knuckles before walking away.

Levi exhaled, unaware that he had been holding his breath.

“The boss man, he like you, ya?” Emerich asked in his heavy Russian accent from the other side of the kitchen, pulling a jug of egg whites from the fridge.

“I’m sure he likes everybody.” Levi answered, plating the omelette and placing it on the window sill along with its ticket. “Hey, order up!” He yelled.

“Oh, I no know about that, Levi. I have problem but boss man never offer to hear me out.” Emerich began working on an other order as Levi did the same. “How come you never just hang with the guy, it no good to keep problem bottled up, ya?”

“Why don’t you just mind your business?” Levi growled as he threw all kinds of meats on the grill, cutting the conversation off with the hiss of hot popping grease.

“Prosti, malen'kiy. I mean no harm. I worry about you, that all.” Emerich continued to do what he was doing.

Levi felt a little bad about being so short with Emerich but his problems were his. He didn’t want to burden others with what had been on his mind as of late.

“Hey, what have I told you about calling me that?” Levi looked over at Emerich and gave the smallest of smiles. Emerich smiled back and bowed slightly.

“Prosti, Levi.”

-

The end of the day came slowly but Levi didn’t mind. He preferred to keep busy when the pain of his dreams was plaguing him.

It was still pretty early and he didn’t feel like going home quite yet, so Levi wandered down the area that was close to the diner.

There were a lot of different shops and restaurants but the one thing that caught Levi’s attention was a book store. It was small and seemed will lit and homey inside.

When Levi saw they would still be open for another hour, he walked in. He was met with the loud chime of a bell, followed by a gruff voice.

“Welcome to The Wandering Eye! Take your time and look around! I’ll be up in a few minutes!”

Levi yelled back a thanks and looked around. There was a few tall shelves of books, arranged in alphabetical order according to the plaques on the ends of the shelves. It had a small section in the corner that had a small couch and a couple of soft chairs and a large table that was completely covered with books, some stacks high and on the verge of tottering over. Two of the walls were shelves as high as the ceiling and they were both filled with books.

Levi began to walk past the shelves, when a man standing with his back to him, caused Levi to stop in his tracks. His heart began to beat wildly and his hands started to shake. His stomach also felt like it was flying through the air. As he tried to regain his ability to breath, he slowly walked back to where he saw the man.

He was tall and blonde with broad shoulders. The sleeves to the white shirt he was wearing were rolled up past his elbows. Levi watched as the blonde man reached up, returning books to their places.

“Erwin, could you come back here please?” The gruff voice called again. The man turned to right and Levi felt his heart stop.

It was him. The man from his dreams. How was that even possible?

“Coming, Dad!” Erwin called back. Levi brought his hand up to his mouth. It was that voice, the very same voice that would whisper to Levi.

Before Erwin could turn toward him, Levi bolted out of the book store. He had to get out of there.

What was this? How could that man really exist? Wasn’t he just a figment of my imagination? Levi’s mind was racing as he quickly walked back to his apartment.

With fumbling hands he unlocked his apartment and ran inside. He went to his coffee table, where inside the little drawer was a portrait of the priest from his dream.

Levi had painted the priest in this one with his head turned the same direction as the man in the book store.

The more Levi looked at it, the more he started to believe that they were indeed the same man.

“How are you real?” Levi asked himself shakily, his grip tightening on the painting. Levi started thinking about Erwin even more. “Do you know who I am?” Levi asked the painting, painful tears in his eyes. “Do you dream as I do?”

Levi debating all night about what he should do next. Should he go to the bookstore and talk to Erwin? Should he just forget about this man? Levi felt a tightening start to form in his chest as he thought about that second option.

“What could it hurt if I just talked casually to him?” Levi asked himself.

When he decided on his course of action, Levi hopped into the shower to get ready. He would have to call in at work but he was sure Danny would understand.

Levi dressed casual, a gray shirt and jeans, before grabbing his house keys and walking back to see Erwin again. This moment would change Levi’s life, for better or worse.