Bury All Your Secrets in My Skin

"Skye?" I heard quietly in my ear. I woke with a start and saw Corey standing over me grinning. "You realize Sid is sleeping next to you, right?" He asked. I looked behind me and Sid is literally wrapped around me. This has become a common occurrence over the last six months that I've hung out with all of them.

"Jesus, no wonder I'm sweating." I said. Corey laughed and nodded. I pushed Sid's leg off of me and he held on tighter. "Help?" I begged Corey. He laughed and pried Sid's hands off of me, allowing me to sit up. "What time is it?" I asked him. I forgot I fell asleep at Corey's house.

"About two in the morning. Come on, let's get you in to bed." He said, helping me stand. I looked and saw Chris sleeping in a chair, Mick was on the floor and Sid on the couch. I followed Corey down to his spare bedroom.

I was exhausted from helping them sew their jumpsuits and fix their facepaint. This is what I've been doing for six months now, and they pay me for it, which I find ridiculous that they do. They've played a lot of shows locally lately, and somehow I have been hired on as....well I don't know what the fuck my title is. Whatever. They pay me well, and I've gotten to know all of them pretty well now, and I enjoy their company. It's helped keep my mind from wandering about Reva.

"Here ya go. Need a shirt to sleep in?" Corey asked. I shook my head and fell into the bed. He laughed and covered me up. He sat next to me and that's when I could smell the alcohol on him. He had been doing better until this past week. I know he's loaded, even if he doesn't act like it.

"You ok?" He asked, putting his hand on my head. I nodded, seeing him smile softly at me. I don't like being around him when he's like this. He's unpredictable and it makes me nervous. "You sure? You're kinda quiet lately." He slurred slightly.

"I'm ok. You should get some sleep." I told him. He nodded and leaned down to kiss my cheek, close to my mouth. I froze and looked at him. "Go to bed Corey." I said very gently. He sighed and held his face in his hands. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Kitten, I can't begin to tell you all the things I've fucked up." He said. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning my head on his back.

"We've all done shit like that Corey." I told him. He nodded and held on to my hands.

"I need to get my shit together." He said. I was surprised hearing this. He normally just rambles on about stupid shit until he passes out.

"Me too." I said, causing him to turn and look at me. He looked worried.

"I'm sorry about your sister. I don't know what happened, but I hope you can tell me one day." He said. I nodded and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"When you stay sober for a while I will." I told him. He looked a little disappointed, then angry.

"So I'm just a big drunk to you?" He snapped. I moved back from him, feeling scared. "Seriously Skye?" He demanded. I felt myself getting out of the bed slowly, watching him stand.

"Corey, I'm sorry. I don't think that. I think you want to be sober but don't know how to be." I said carefully to him. He started to approach me and I felt so sick to my stomach. This is bringing me back to that night with Reva. I backed up slowly, as be stalked forward.

"You think that's all I do, isn't it? I'm some fucking worthless drunk, right?" He snapped. I backed into the nightstand, and he's in front of me now. "That's a shitty thing to say Skye!" His voice raising, making me flinch.

"Please stop." I whispered, tears pouring out of my eyes. He got right in my face and I gasped. "Corey, don't." I whispered in fear. I saw something change in his eyes suddenly, his entire expression changing.

"Skye? I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to scare you. Are you-" He was cut off by Sid in the doorway.

"What the fuck are you doing Corey? Go to bed. Now." Sid said through his teeth. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing him. Sid walked in and pulled me behind him. "Go Corey." Sid said seriously. Corey looked down and headed out of the bedroom. Sid turned to me worried.

"Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He asked. I shook my head as the tears fell.

"I need to go home." I whispered. He nodded.

"I'll take you, ok?" He said. I nodded and slipped my shoes on. I quietly grabbed my bag and Sid opened the door just as quiet to not wake anyone. He shut it very quietly, then walked with me to his car. We drove in silence to my house, the only noise is a sniffle from me here and there. When he pulled up I threw open the door. Sid grabbed my arm.

"Skye wait." He said. I looked at him. "Let me stay with ya. I don't want you alone." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm ok. Thank you for the ride." I said quickly and jumped out. I ran up the stairs and flung the door open, shutting it behind me. I made it to my room, collapsing in a heap on my bed where I cried myself to sleep that night.

I didn't talk to any of them for three days after that. They had tried stopping by, calling, texting, but I didn't respond. I was looking through my cupboards and saw I had nothing for a meal left in my house. Fuck! I don't want to go out and risk seeing any of them, but I don't want to starve either. Sighing I got my shoes on and grabbed my bag. I opened the door and almost ran into Corey's chest.

"Fuck! What the fuck!?" I yelled at him and pushed him back. He barely moved and grinned at me.

"Nice to see you too kitten." He chuckled. I shook my head and walked around him. "Ok. I'll still be waiting for ya." He taunted. I'm so pissed at him I could scream. I whirled around on him.

"What do you fucking want Corey?" I growled. He looked down and sighed.

"I fucked up really bad with you the other night." He said looking back at me.

"No shit." I shot back.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you or upset you." He said. I laughed bitterly at him. He looked at me surprised. I shook my head and opened my door, hearing him right behind me.

"Save your sorry Corey." I spat at him. He narrowed his eyes at me and slammed my door. I glared at him. "This is my fucking house. Don't pull your bullshit here with me." I snarled.

"I've been sober for three days, understand?" He said.

"Good. Make it three years while your at it. You ever pull some shit like that again and I will tear your fucking head off." I snapped walking closer to him. He backed up. "I'm not fucking kidding."

"I'm sorry. I am." He snarled back. I have a feeling he's not one for apologizing.

"You don't know the shit that has gone on in my life to make me the way I am, so don't fuck with me." I said getting in his face.

"Yeah, you're right. I don't because it's all a secret with you. Better keep your secrets Skye." He said as he glared at me. I shoved his chest hard, moving him this time.

"Fuck you!" I yelled. He stepped back to where he was.

"No, fuck you! No one knows shit about you except Jim and Mick! You've been around all of us for months." He snapped. I went to shove him again and he grabbed my hands. "Don't. Stop pushing us all away." He said as I struggled to get out of his grip.

"Maybe if you weren't such an asshole!" I yelled at him. He yanked me into his chest and looked down at me, smirking. I stopped moving as I glared at him.

"You love that I'm an asshole." He smiled. I went back to struggling and he pulled me in harder, locking his arms around my waist. I gasped and looked at him. He reached up with one hand and ran his thumb over my lips. We are both panting from struggling with one another, and well, this isn't helping either.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. He grinned a little.

"Wondering how you kiss." He said quietly. My face is burning red and my chest is rising and falling quickly.

"Why?" I asked quietly. He didn't get the chance to answer as the pounding on my door made both of us jump away from each other. I glared at him and went to the door. I sighed when I saw all of them standing there.

"You're an asshole Taylor!" I yelled as I looked at all of them. I heard all of them laughing. I moved and let them all inside. Corey eyed me up as he walked past me.

"What do you boys need?" I sighed.

"Stop being an asshole Skye." Sid grinned at me. I grinned and shook my head.

"Corey? You apologize yet?" Paul asked him.

"Yeah I did. Pretty sure she wants to kick my ass still." Corey smirked at me. I flipped him off. "That would be a yes." He laughed.

They all started talking and I slipped away to the kitchen for just a moment. I couldn't get that night with Reva out of my head as I stood at my counter, holding my coffee mug. I remember every detail about that night.

Reva called me, begging me to come pick her up from her boyfriend's house with whom she was living with. I hated that prick. He was mean, treated her like shit, and I knew he hit her even if she wouldn't admit it to anyone. All the black eyes, unexplained bruises and lame excuses she always had when anyone would question her about them.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to rid myself of the last memory I ever had of her. "Skye?" I shrieked and dropped my mug on the tile floor. I held my hand to my chest, feeling the pounding of my heart.

"Hey, easy. You ok?" I heard Corey ask as he slowly walked in. Paul and Mick appeared right behind him.

"What's going on?" Mick demanded. "Corey, I will fuck you up." He warned.

"Take it easy Mick. He just startled me. I'm fine guys. Calm down." I said, flashing them a fake grin. They nodded and walked out of the kitchen. I quickly bent down picking up my broken mug. I saw Corey's hands come into view with paper towels. He looked at me.

"What's going on Skye?" He asked quietly.

"You just startled me is all." I said, standing back up. I tossed the mug in the trash. Corey looked at me worried, throwing the paper towels in the trash. I went to walk past him and he stood in front of me.

"What scared you so bad the other night. That wasn't just because I was being an asshole, which I had no right to be and I'm sorry. That was you being terrified." He said.

"I can't talk about it right now. I'm sorry." I said quickly.

"Because I haven't been sober long enough, or because you don't trust me?" He asked.

"Because it hurts to talk about it." I said. I wouldn't look at him because I was afraid if I did, I may lose it. He hugged me hard which surprised me. I held on to him and felt another pair of arms around us.

"Paul? Whatcha doin?" Corey laughed.

"I felt left out man." Paul smiled. I giggled and turned to hug him. He always gives amazing hugs. It's like he puts his heart into each one he gives as odd as that sounds. "Skye? I'm starving." Paul said. I laughed and nodded.

"I need to go to the store. I have nothing here to even feed you guys." I told him.

"Cool. I'm driving." Jim said appearing out of nowhere.

"Shotgun!" Sid yelled.

"Mick? You're in charge while mom is at the store." I yelled to him.

"Will you buy me something for my troubles then mom?" Mick yelled back.

"I'll bring ya some Twinkies." I called back.

"My own box?" He yelled. I laughed.

"Yes. Behave!" I yelled as I grabbed my bag. I headed out and got in the back of Jim's SUV. We drove quietly and Sid groaned, turning to me.

"You good from the other night?" Sid asked. I nodded. "Yeah? Quit being a dick and avoiding us." He grinned. I grinned and nodded.

"Skye? Did Corey put his hands on you the other night?" Jim asked.

"No Jim, he didn't." I sighed.

"He got in your face though. I saw that." Sid said.

"Guys, I'm ok. I just got freaked out." I said to them.

"Because of what happened that night?" Jim asked, glancing in his mirror at me. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"Yeah. Because of that." I said, looking out the window.

"Skye, other people aren't like that. You know that right?" Jim asked. I felt Sid's eyes on me.

"Yeah, I know." I said. I was so glad we pulled into the store. We got out and Jim walked over to hug me.

"Think we can talk about that night sometime soon?" Jim asked. I nodded as we walked inside.

I couldn't believe how much money we spent on food. Holy shit! I paid for it and was walking out of the store when Sid shoved a wad of money in my bag.

"Dude, I'm fine. Take your money back." I said trying to give it to him.

"Can't. It's not mine. Paul wanted to pay for it. He'll be mad and hurt if you give it back." Sid grinned.

"Goddammit. I can't hurt Paul's feelings and he knows it." I sighed as we loaded the car up.

"Anyone else is ok though?" Jim grinned. I giggled and nodded. "Uh huh. I see how it is." He laughed.

We got back to my place and got everything unloaded and put away. I started cooking all of them dinner when I saw Paul come grab a beer. "Hey! Stop being so damn sweet." I smiled at him. He just grinned as I hugged him.

"Don't tell people I'm sweet." He grinned. I laughed and kissed his cheek.

"I'm fucking jealous now." I heard Sid say.

"Sid, you sleep next to me all the time, remember?" I grinned.

"Oh yeah. Suck on that Paulie." Sid laughed. Paul flipped him off and laughed. I was at the stove when Sid walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me.

"Sure you're ok? I was worried the other night." He said, hopping up on the counter.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I was like that. I hope you're not upset with me." I told him.

"Nah. I was pissed you wouldn't open the door the next day. But, I figured you had your reasons and needed some time. I'm good. More worried about you." He told me. I looked up at him and sighed.

"I'm trying to be ok. I really am." I said. He nodded then smiled at me.

"Sometimes it's ok to fall apart. When you do, you find that picking up the pieces and putting them back together is easier." He said. I nodded and heard Mick come in.

"Where's my Twinkies woman?" Mick grinned.

"Hidden until after dinner." I grinned. He laughed and grabbed a beer, heading back to the living room.

Later that night, I noticed Corey was pacing the floor. He wanted to drink, I could see the look in his eyes. While everyone was talking and messing around, I quietly grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the porch. I closed the door and he looked at me.

"It gets easier. It's going to take some time. We both know you can do this." I told him. He nodded, lighting a cigarette.

"I know. I haven't been this sober in a long time. It's harder than I thought it would be." He sighed.

"You don't have to do this alone Corey. I'm here if you ever need to talk." I told him. He laughed a little.

"How can I tell you anything if you won't open up to me about you and your life?" He asked. I sighed and sat across from him. I looked into his bright eyes and took a deep breath.

"My sister was murdered two years ago. Please don't ask me to go into details because I just can't yet." I said quickly. He gasped and sat up in his chair to look at me.

"Oh my god, Skye. I'm so fucking sorry." He whispered. I felt the familiar lump in my throat. "Come here." He said, pulling me over to sit in his lap. He hugged me tight. "I'm so sorry. I am." He said. I nodded and went to move off of him. He held on to me.

"It's ok to let people in Skye." He said. I felt my body stiffen. "You gotta try once in a while. Can you do that?" He asked. I nodded a little and he let go. I sat across from him and he watched me for a few moments. The door flew open and Mick looked at me with pleading eyes. I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.

"Third cupboard on the left. Top shelf." I grinned. He smiled and went back inside. Corey grinned at me. "He wants his Twinkies." I said. Corey laughed hard and nodded.

"Don't mess around with those." Corey laughed. The door opened again and Paul stood there smiling. "Hey man. What's up?"

"Come on. We're playing Twister." Paul smiled. Corey laughed and shook his head.

"For real?" Corey asked him.

"Get your asses inside." Paul smiled. He leaned over and grabbed my hand, then stared at Corey. Corey sighed and got up.

"Fucking hell man." Corey laughed.

I woke in the middle of the night gasping for air. I was sweating and panting, tears pouring down my face. I'm swatting at hands that are grabbing me.

"Hey! Hey! It's just me Skye." Sid said quietly. I held a hand to my chest, trying desperately to breathe in. "Take a slow deep breath." He said quietly. I slowly inhaled, then slowly exhaled. I saw lights come on in the hallway, and my two giants filling my doorway.

"You ok Blue?" Jim asked sitting next to me on the bed. I nodded. "What happened Sid?"

"Bad dream. She started crying, almost like she was gasping for air." Sid told them. Jim and Mick looked at each other, then me. I wiped my face and looked at them.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be kid. You want me to stay in here?" Mick asked. I grinned and so did he, already knowing the answer. "I still snore. Sorry kid." He laughed.

"I got her. It's fine guys." Sid told them. Jim looked at me and I nodded. He kissed my head and they shut the door behind them. Sid sat next to me and I looked at him and grinned.

"Guess I should be glad you left your boxers on, huh?" I grinned. He laughed and nodded. He pulled me to lay back with him.

"Want me to take them off?" He asked.

"Sure." I said. He got quite for a second then laughed.

"Stop fucking with me." Sid laughed. I shrugged and rolled on my side. "Are you fucking with me?" He asked.

"Guess you'll never know." I said over my shoulder.

"Uh huh. Sure. Until there's that awkwardness the next morning." He said. I rolled over and looked at him.

"You trying to convince me or you about this?" I asked. He smiled at me.

"Go to bed." He laughed. I smiled and turned on my side. I felt myself starting to drift off when I heard him sigh loudly.

"What's wrong Sid?" I mumbled.

"Now you've got me thinking shit I shouldn't be." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"Don't be. Get some sleep." He said. I felt him wrap around me as I fell back to sleep. Maybe I was screwing with him a little bit. I may also be a little curious too. I won't deny it, I like Sid. He's a super sweet guy and he has the biggest heart.

The next morning I woke up the same way I had during the night. I can't breathe, I'm in a panic, I can see the last images of my sister from that night.

"Whoa! Easy kid." I heard Mick say to me. I didn't know he was in my room. I leaned against him and tried to calm down. "Was it about Reva?" He asked. I nodded, feeling him hug me. "It was just a dream." He told me.

"But it wasn't." I said quietly. He moved back and looked at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"It was that night. The night I lost her." I said to him. I looked at the pained expression on his face.

"Skye, what did you see that night? You've never told anyone what you saw." He said gently. I felt my self tense and looked away. "Please? If not me, will you talk with one of the other guys?" He asked.

"Maybe. I want to, it's just so painful." I whispered.

"Soon?" He asked.

"I'll try. I really will." I said.

"Promise me?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled and stood up. "Come on. Let's get out of the house for a bit."