Bury All Your Secrets in My Skin

"How exactly did you three meet?" Paul asked me, Jim and Mick about a week later. I laughed hard as they all looked at me.

"Christ, I knew this would come up." Mick grinned.

"Who wants to tell it?" Jim asked. Him and I pointed to Mick and he laughed.

"About ten years ago, Jim and I are at a bar having a few drinks. Captain Asshole over there," He pointed at me. "Got a little wasted that night. Anyways, some dickhead was trying to convince her all night she needed to leave with him. He's feeding her shot after shot. We had been watching them all night, just a vibe we got. She gets up for a minute, we see him slip something in her drink. We see her come back and Jim walks up to talk to her, just asking her how she's doing. While she's talking to Jim, I reached over and grabbed the drink, slamming it on the floor. That dude looked ready to piss himself and took off. She's wasted, like should of stopped two hours ago. We didn't want her driving or walking, so we asked where she lived." Mick grinned and shook his head at me, as Jim and I laughed.

"She couldn't fucking remember. So we found her wallet, realized she lived around the corner from the bar, and carried her home. Like I physically carried her home. We get her inside her place, but didn't want to leave her alone, so Jim and I put her on her couch, and I slept in a chair, Jim on the floor." Mick stopped and laughed hard. Both Jim and I are dying laughing.

"I wake up the next morning to her standing over us with two huge ass knives wanting to know who the fuck we were and how we got inside. After twenty minutes of convincing her of what happened the night before, she made us breakfast." We are all laughing.

"I'm still sorry about that." I grinned.

"Not half as sorry as we were! Fuck!" Mick laughed.

"Shit, I thought we were gonna die." Jim laughed. I giggled as he hugged me. I got up to grab my sewing kit since we had a few hours before their next show. It's a never ending cycle of sewing clothes for them.

I went to my room and found my sewing kit on the shelf. As I pulled it off the shelf, something else fell. I turned and took a deep breath when I saw the photo of my sister and that shithead she dated. I thought I had put it away, but I guess not. I felt my anger set in seeing his fucking face smiling at me. I grabbed the framed photo and threw it in the closet. My eyes traveled up, and saw the brown paper bag on the shelf and I instantly felt sick. Goddammit.

I stared at the bag and knew what was in there. The photo was face up, almost like it was staring at the bag. I snatched the framed photo out of the closet. I tossed my sewing kit on the bed, taking the photo out of the frame. Enough of this shit. I clenched the photo in my hand and made a beeline to the backyard, hearing my name being called. I ignored it as I reached inside the garage for the can of gasoline.

"Skye?" I heard Mick asked. I tossed the photo in the fire pit and used the last of the gas I had to pour over the photo.

"Skye?" I heard Jim right next to me. I set the can in the garage and grabbed my matches. "Skye, stop." Jim said quietly.

"No." I replied. My hands are shaking as I fumbled with the matches. I was getting frustrated because I couldn't light the fucking thing. I saw a hand come over mine.

"Let me help." Mick said gently. I nodded and gave him the matches. He lit it and handed it to me. I tossed it on the photo and watched it go up with a whoosh sound. I felt like I could breathe again.

"Hey kid. Look at me." Mick said. I didn't realize I started crying. "Let him go. Got anything else that reminds you of him?" He asked. I nodded.

"What is it?" Jim asked. I panted hard, tears coming faster.

"The brown paper bag in my closet." I whispered.

"I got it." Jim said walking off. Mick held on to me as Jim came back out with the bag. He handed it to me. My hand shook as I reached for it. I opened the bag and almost puked. I held it in, knowing I had to do this. I reached in and pulled out what was once a yellow t-shirt. I heard multiple people gasp when they saw the dark almost brown looking stains on it that were once bright red. I tossed it into the fire. I pulled out my jeans that were once a pale blue, now dark with brown and red bloodstains.

"Oh my god." Mick said. "Skye, what the fuck happened that night?"

I ignored his question. I saw the patterns of blood that had sprayed on to my pants. I tossed it into the fire, then the brown paper bag. I stood back and felt the wave of nausea hit me hard. I turned and threw up behind the garage. I took a deep breath and threw up again. I felt someone hold my hair as I felt like I couldn't stop getting sick. I was finally done and gasped for air.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Sid said quietly. I looked and saw the somber looks on everyone's faces as Sid led me inside. We got into the bathroom and he shut the door. He turned the shower on as I sat on the floor trying to get a grip on reality. I can't believe I just did that in front of everyone. This is my secret that I have held so close to my heart, and I just threw it out there for all of them. I stood and brushed my teeth, sobbing as I did.

"Get in the shower. I'll turn around." Sid told me quietly. I could of cared less what he saw just then. I took off my clothes and got in the shower, pulling the frosted door closed. I sat down on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest as I cried quietly.

"Skye? You were there that night? Is that what Jim was talking about?" Sid asked.

"Yes." I sobbed.

"Was it your sister that died?" He asked. I sobbed harder. "Was it her boyfriend that did it?" He asked. I can't get a word out, I'm sobbing too hard. I heard the shower door open and I didn't give a shit who was there. I glanced and saw Sid get in with a towel on. Oh jesus. He handed me a towel to cover up with and sat next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I leaned against him and sobbed hard for the first time in two years. I cried until I had nothing left, letting him hold me. When I was done, I sat up with the towel wrapped around me.

"Feel a little better?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm sorry. I saw a picture of him and I just lost it." I said.

"Did you see what happened that night Skye?" Sid asked concerned. I felt the panic rising. "Ok. That's fine, you don't have to answer that. It's ok." He hugged me.

I realized the water was getting cooler and I shivered. Sid grinned at me. "This is the strangest shower I've ever had the pleasure of taking." He smiled. I giggled and nodded. "Mick is gonna kill me." He sighed.

"I'll take care of that." I said. He laughed and nodded.

"As strange as this sounds, I don't want to get out now." He smiled. I laughed and nodded. "Uh, which one of us is staying while the other gets out?" He asked.

"Go ahead. I won't peak. Although I believe you got an eyeful earlier." I smiled. He laughed and turned red.

"I really tried hard not to look. I swear I tried, but it was all right there." He smiled. I laughed harder as he got out. I saw a dry towel come over the top of the shower. I laughed and dried off, wrapping it around me. I stood waiting for him to get dressed.

"I, uh, have clothes on." Sid said. I opened the door and grinned, watching his eyes get big as I stepped out in my towel. "Holy shit." He whispered. I grinned and shook my head. He sighed and leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of me.

"One time. That's all I'm asking for." He rambled.

"What?" I'm confused at what he is trying to say.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked. I gave him an odd look. "I have to know if there is anything besides friendship between us." He said. I grinned and looked at him.

"What if there is? Then what?" I asked.

"Then I'll know and so will you." He said simply.

"Um ok. Like right-" He pressed his lips over mine and pulled me against him. I leaned up and had my arms around his neck as we kissed. I felt his hand in the back of my hair as he pulled me into him more. I wasn't expecting that or to feel the way I do at the moment either. We pulled back breathlessly and stared at each other.

"So, the verdict is?" I asked. He turned red again and laughed.

"Don't hate me, ok?" He asked. I nodded. "You know how to kiss, let me just-" I glared at him. "Fuck! It was like making out with a good friend or something. I'm so fucking sorry!" He groaned. I sighed and looked at him. "You felt something different, didn't you?" He asked worried.

"I feel the same way you do." I smiled. He looked so relieved. "You can kiss. I'll give you that." I smiled. He laughed and smiled at me.

"Jesus, girl. You can fucking kiss. Damn." He grinned. I motioned for him to turn around and he did, laughing. I tossed my clothes on and brushed my hair.

"Ok. We're good." I told him. He turned and smiled at me. I pulled my hair up and he sighed.

"You're still hot as fuck. I can't help that." He smiled as he opened the door. I laughed and walked out with him right behind me. We walked to the living room and the conversation stopped cold. Corey glared at us and so did everyone else.

"What?" I asked them. Jim stood up and turned to Sid. Oh shit!

"I'm gonna fucking kill you man." Jim started walking to Sid. I stepped in front of Jim, placing my hands on his chest.

"Sit down." I told him as Mick got up. "You too. Sit the fuck down." I demanded. "Nothing like that happened you asshats."

"Sure it didn't." Corey scoffed. I glared at him.

"Fuck you!" I yelled at him. He laughed and looked at me.

"Sloppy seconds aren't my style." Corey snapped. Everyone gasped, as my jaw dropped. Corey looked like he regretted what he said the moment it was out of his mouth. I felt tears in my eyes and turned around. I'm not letting them see me cry. I can't believe he had the balls to say that to me!

"Have a good show guys." I muttered as I walked away.

"You fucking asshole Corey!" Mick yelled.

"I'm gonna fuck you up man!" Sid yelled.

I heard more yelling and arguing, as I walked away. The sound of glass breaking. I went to the bathroom and got my shoes on, then slipped out the back door. I took off walking down the alley. I cut through yards and kept out of view from everyone. I did see some of their cars after a while and ducked out of view. I'm too hurt and sad to talk to any of them.

I finally found a spot at a park where I could see everything, but no one could see me. As I sat there, I realized I miss my sister so much, and I just want her back. No one understands the pain I'm in or have been for two years now. She was my best friend, the person I went to about everything. Now she's gone, and I'll never get her back.

I stayed until well after dark, lost in my thoughts of Reva. I decided to head back because I knew they would all be gone. I walked back to my house and grabbed my keys. I paused and saw a broken lamp on my living room floor. I don't care anymore. Fuck it. I'm done with all of this.

Feeling broken, hurt and just done with life, I got in my car and drove to the cemetery. It was cold out tonight and I didn't bring a jacket. I walked up to Reva's grave and laid on the cold ground sobbing. I placed my hand on her headstone and let the world go on around me.

"I miss you so much Reva." I sobbed.

I'm so cold, and I can feel myself shaking, but I'm too tired to get up. My teeth are chattering, making me curl into a ball for warmth. I don't want to leave. I need to be close to Reva, and this is the only way I can be.

I thought about Reva, and seeing her again. My eyes closed, and for the first time in years I felt at peace with my life. I just want to see my sister again. I felt myself growing tired, and finally let myself drift away to sleep.