I Must Be Crazy

When I woke up Wade was standing over me in some place I’ve never been to before. I shot up off a couch and began to panic.
~Shit why would he bring me to his and Vs home?! I’m gonna kill him!~
~*oh come on just let it happen you pansy!~*
~stfu!~
~*ha! You wish !~*
I groaned flustered
“Why did you bring me here?! I’m almost positive Vanessa would NOT be okay with this!” I said quickly standing but falling back into the couch
“Were not at our apartment I live with this old blind bat named Al she’s a nut job but I know for a fact V wouldn’t of given a fuck since you did say you guys were like bffs but I haven’t....I haven’t had the courage to see Vanessa since the fire... I mean come on look at me” wade said. I turned my head and saw he wasn’t wearing his mask. He had absolutely no hair, and looked like a hot version of Freddy Kruger... I glared at him..how could I like someone so stupid..
“I can’t exactly say we’re bffs I mean we only got to talk that one night...and also-“ I punched wade in the arm as hard as I could. He fell on the floor
“OWWWW! Jax what the fuck?!” Wade yelled but I kicked him in the ribs angrily hearing him yell in pain
“Stop it! You’re just giving me a boner!” Wade yelled
“What the ACTUAL FUCK is wrong with you?! For someone who V spoke so highly of you sure are a dumb ass!! If she loves you obviously she wouldn’t care about your looks...man the fuck up and quit being a pussy! Go talk to her!...Or I will” I said standing up again and grabbing my mask
“Where are you going? You’re not gonna help me kill Francis?” He asked standing as well.
“I’ve been his prisoner for a year now wade.. I have full confidence you’ll be able to kill him...if shit hits the fan give me a call” I said but he grabbed my wrist
“Last time I left you ya kiiinda of got kidnapped” he said but I rolled my eyes and poke his side making him laugh
“Last time I was mourning what I thought was your death and was caught off guard. One thing I can honestly say I’m thankful for is the fact that Ajax made me train my ass off in all forms of fighting. I won’t get fooled again so easily” I said lightly punching his arm.
“Just be careful. Here take one of my trac phones. Just in case” Wade said handing me a little flip phone. I smiled
“Thanks Wade” I said slipping it in my hip pouch.
“From now on when we’re in public call me DeadPool, or DP or Daddypool” Wade said wiggling where his brows would be. I rolled my eyes
“I’m going to the club tonight. Promise me you’ll atleast talk to V and I won’t say anything about you still being alive” I said but he gave me a skeptical look
“You’re gonna tell her about Ajax and the building fire?” He asked and I nodded
“That and to tell her to quit that shit ass waitressing job and to drink and dance with me” I said smirking as I began to walk to the door
“How can you even afford that?” Wade asked
“Shockingly I did actually get a cut in Ajax’s business if you even wanna call it that. I have at least a mill saved so don’t be surprised if I’m completely shit faced tonight” I said smirking
“Yeah we’ll make sure V is safe! If you’re gonna be with her tonight just keep your eyes peeled” wade said
“Yeah yeah I got it I got it” I said nonchalantly but wade grabbed my wrist tightly
“Jess I know you’ve been a prisoner for a year to that sadistic fuck and you just want to feel free again, but please, for me, take care of her while you’re there. I promise once I find and kill Francis I’ll take you to the club and we’ll dance the night away” wade said holding my shoulders. I blushed looking into his eyes
“Damn it....V is a lucky girl. I got you fam” I said smiling
“I’m just saying I know V would be down for a sister wife type of-“
“NO!” I yelled blushing with annoyance
“What about a 3 way?!”
“No”
“Role play?”
“Noooo”
“Do you wanna watch and we can take turns? I’m sure Vanessa wouldn’t-“
“NO DAMN IT! Look idk what kind of weird shit you’re into but let me make myself VERY CLEAR. I do NOT mess around with a taken man, I do NOT do one night stands and I am NOT some piece of ass! Maybe I do like you a little HOWEVER I kind of like V too and like you said a year ago maybe in a different life time but that’s not gonna happen. You have an amazing girl or at least you did. It’ll never happen Wade. Cya later. I got a bug to catch now” I said and as I walked out the door hearing him mumble ‘bug?’

Sighing I walked off trying to figure out what I wanted to do first.
To shop or to call peter... maybe I could call Peter AND shop!
I pulled out my phone from my pouch and dialed his house phone, I knew it by heart better than his cell.
It rang 3 times before I heard Peters aunt
“Hello, Parker residence” she said sweetly
“Hi miss Parker! It’s Jessie! I’m sorry I was away for so long, I had to beat cancer but I’m a-okay now!” I said but I heard something from behind me. I turned around quickly but saw nobody.
“Jessica! Oh I’m so happy to hear from you! Peter has just been so depressed since your disappearance. Hang on I’ll go get him!He just walked through the door. Peter! Jessica is on the phone!”

I giggled as I heard him gasp and run to the phone
“Jax?! Is that really you?!” He said making me laugh. I heard footsteps and turned again but still nothing. I looked up at the top of the buildings and still saw nothing
~what the fuck..Whos following me now?~
~*probably daddy pool...maybe you should stop and see!~*
~no ive got shit I have to do!~
~*tch pussy~*
~suck my dick!~
~*you don’t have one dumb ass~*
~suck My dick suck my mother fucking dick!~
~*haha classy!~*
I rolled my eyes. Atleast I always had someone to talk to
~*see you do enjoy me being here!~*
~shut up Pete’s on the phone!~

"Hey there Spidey! Yes its really me, and guess what? I have powers now!I know its a lot to explain!Meet me at the mall in 20 thats how far away i am so meet me there! We’re going shopping!!" i said and hung up. I sighed and pulled my gun turning and pointing at an alley

“DP why are you following me?!” I asked annoyed. I walked to the alley and saw Ajax’s bitch minion Angel Dust she was a tall woman with short shoulder length hair, slicked back, in a skin tight black shirt, the sleeves stopping just above her elbows, the shirt being very low cut to show off her big boobs. She wore a holster on her shoulders, skin tight black jeans and combat boots
“Angel...Let me guess, Ajax?” I asked pulling my guns out. She smirked
“You catch on quick. Did you really think he was going to just let you walk away?” She asked taking a step forward
“Well he’s not my Daddy and I don’t need his permi-“ she jumped at me and punched me clean in the nose, sending me flying backwards. It felt like I just got punched with a literal car! I hit a brick wall on the other side of the street and noticed my nose was broken
“Owe fuck!” I groaned dropping to my knees. I quickly put my nose back in place and cracked my neck
“Alright ya damn twat waffle! Let’s go!” I said shooting at her but she smirked and marched forward as the bullets just bounced off of her. Her marching turned into charging and I began to charge too. Hand to hand was what it was looking like.
She took a swing at me but I ducked it and uppercut her sending her flying back. She crashed into a dumpster, denting the fuck out of it but got back up dusting herself off.
~brude strength doesn’t work, guns don’t faze her....only one thing left to try!~
~*hurry up and wreck this bitch we have dick and or vaginas to find!~*
~classy~
I thought then took a deep breath

“Tell Francis I said to kindly go fuck himself with barbwire and bleach!” I yelled and then screamed, the ground began to shake and car alarms were going off, windows shattered all around me and as much as she tried to hold on to the corner of a building in an ally, the part of brick building she was holding onto broke and sent her flying to the other side of the block, crashing through not one, not 2 but 3 cars and finally landing into another brick building. Before I even had time to react, I yelped as I was swooped up. I looked up and saw non other than Spider man himself
“Spidey! My hero!” I said happily
~*what a baby!~*
~hello I did babysit him!~
~*do you know how many porns there are about screwing the baby sitter?! Get with it!~*
~I’ll pass~
~*lameeeeee!~*
“Who was that?!” Pete asked me as he shot another web and swung through the city
“This mutant bitch named Angel Dust. She trained me to fight and now Ajax sent her to bring me back. We can’t go to the mall she was following me! We have to go somewhere else” I said but he looked down at me with his mask on
“Where to?” He asked
“Let’s just go shopping for an apartment for myself and i can buy a computer and WiFi and we’ll just online shop!” I said smiling
“A room just opened up next door to me at the apartments. Some rich guy died but they left all his furniture so we would just need to get you a new bed, some small stuff and groceries and you’d be set!” Pete said as he swung around a corner
“Well let’s go check it out!” I said smiling and with that we continued flying through the air.