Animal in Me

June 1985

“I feel like I don’t see you anymore!” Lena whines as she dramatically collapses on my bed. “Since that night, you’ve been distant.”

“I’ve been actively avoiding Motley Crue, it’s no offense to you.” I bite my lower lip. “Mick, I know he doesn't have beef with me. He knows the articles I write are for work. Tommy is slowly starting to see my as the enemy. He doesn’t realize I’m writing these articles about Vince and the trial for work. He thinks it’s just a vendetta I have against Vince. I may have disliked him before the accident but Tommy thinks I blame Vince for Razzle’s death.”

“But he is at fault, though.” Lena counters. “They were fucking plastered and had no business behind the fucking wheel. Your articles are for work. Tommy needs to grow up and realize that.”

“You’re telling me.”I sigh. “I hate the idea for Tommy hating me forever. He’s like a little brother I never wanted.”

“Have you been avoiding Sixx?”

“That’s complicated.” A humorless chuckle escapes my lips. “He understands the articles and shit like that. He knows this is my job. I’m a journalist. My job is to report the truth, no matter how bad I make Vince look. It’s just…”

“Sex is starting to suck?”

“We can’t have sex without drugs involved.” I reply. “He constantly has to be fucked up on shit. And I think he’s expanding his drugs to some harder shit.”

“Like?”

“I started to find used needles in his bathroom.” I sighed. “Look, cocaine is one thing. Heroin is another.”

“He could be shooting up coke.” Lena offers, trying to be helpful.

“If it was just coke, he wouldn’t be hiding it.” I counter. “Plus it doesn’t smell like it. I’ve been around enough coke heads that shot up, I know the smell.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

I scoff. “He response was and I quote ‘You’re not my fucking mother.’” I roll my eyes. “And that’s how I came to the conclusion that Nikki Sixx is starting to dabble in heroin. He never snapped at me like that. He would have called me a prude and laughed it off before pushing me up against the nearest wall and fucked my brains out.”

“You know if you ever want to hang out, I’m sure Mick would have no problem leaving and allowing us to have a girls night.” Lena smiles. “Or he’ll stay. He misses you too.”

“Mick is the least problematic member of Motley Crue, I swear.” I chuckle. “But I’ll keep that in mind. I miss you guys, it just sucks that I’m no longer welcomed by the 3 assholes of the apocalypse.”

“Want to hang out tonight?” She suggests. “It looks like you can use a night in.”

“Wish I could but I’ve got a show to get to at The Troubador.” I frown. “Remember me telling you about my friend Tracii?”

“Guns?” She asks, earning a nod from me. “What about him?”

“He founded a new band and he wants me to check them out, even if he’s not their lead guitarist anymore.” I reply. “They are playing tonight in West Hollywood. I know you don’t usually go out, but you’re right I could use a girls night. Can you come with me?”

“Is that why you called me here?” She laughs. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Raid my closet!” I squeal. “You’d have to anyway, you literally have no clothes perfect for a night out.”

“Because I rather be home!” She whines as I pull her up off my bed and towards my closet. “You owe me Summers!” She exclaims as I push her into the walk-in closet.

“Oh I know!” I laugh. “Make sure you look hot Lena!” I yell to her before disappearing into my bathroom to do my hair and makeup.

**

“So what band are we seeing?” Lena asks as I push our way up to the stage, earning glares from several girls. I just smile sweetly at them before returning my attention to my shy friend, who is clearly uncomfortable about being here.

“Guns N Roses.” I reply. “Tracii mentioned he formed this band with another upcoming band here on Sunset. He just didn’t tell me which band.”

“Think he did that on purpose?”

“This is Tracii so it is possible.” I chuckle just as the house lights dim and stage lights come on. One by one the band members come on and stage and my eyes instantly fall upon several of the members. I instantly recognize Izzy, Saul and sadly the redhead staring right back at me…”Axl…” I whisper causing Lena to snap her head at me.

“Your ex?”

“Remind me to kill Tracii after tonight…”

**

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Izzy exclaims as he pulls me into a hug once I walk backstage alone since Lena bailed after the show ended. “Didn’t think I’d see this beautiful face again!”

“Trust me, I didn’t think I’d see you again either gorgeous!” I chuckle as I part from one guitarist and pulled into the body of another one. “Hey Saul!”

He cringes, “Slash in public please!” He whines but that quickly turns into a laugh. “How have you been? I heard you're a journalist now.”

“I am.” I part from him. “I work for Rolling Stone and have been for a little over two years now.”

“I read your article about Razzle’s death!” A blond man states. He’s their bass player I believe. “I’m Duff by the way.”

“Aria!” I introduce myself with a smile. “That article was pretty hard to write. I was close friends with him and the boys of Hanoi Rocks. I lived with them for two weeks, covering their lives on tour.”

“And you probably fucked every single one of them.” Axl spits at me, earning an eye roll from me.

“Just because I’m a natural flirt doesn’t mean I screw everyone I meet, Rose.” I point out. “I’d hate for you to paint a bad picture of me in front of my two new friends.” I point to Duff and the other blond. “I have no idea your name by the way.”

“It’s Steve gorgeous!” He smirks, causing me to laugh.

“You really need to let our breakup go.” I tell Axl. “You left me, not the other way around. You let your fragile ego get in between us. You knew I was a flirt when you got together with me.”

“Fine, you didn’t sleep with anyone from Hanoi Rocks.” He rolls his eyes. “Because why would you be, you were already in bed with Nikki fucking Sixx from Motley Crue.”

“Jealous?” I smirk.

“So you admit to sleeping with him during the article?” I roll my eyes at the question but I find myself walking over to him; getting right in his face.

“Who I sleep with is none of your fucking concern William.” I stress his real name. “And Nikki and I didn’t hook up until after I left the tour. I am a professional after all.”

“Come on, I don’t want tonight to be a repeat of the last time we saw you.” Saul states as he pulls me away from his lead singer. “Even though I'd love to see you punch him out again.”

A laugh, a genuine laugh, escapes my lips for the first time in months. “I missed you, Hudson. Truly missed you.”

“Let's not drift apart again then.” He shoots me a smirk. “You know the phone works both ways.”

“I do now.” I assure him with a smile. “Come on, rockstar. I believe you owe me a drink…”

“I believe you are right.” He chuckles. “Come on, let's get you a Jack and Coke shall we?”

“You remember my drink of choice.” I gasp in mock disbelief. “I can’t believe that.” He just laughs before guiding me to the bar. I guess this night didn’t totally suck…