Starry Eyes

“You sure you want me here?” Colson asks as he sits down on my couch. “Shouldn’t you and Doug talk about this in private?”

“I do stupid shit when I’m left alone with boys that break my heart.” I inform him. “I want you here to prevent that.”

“You afraid you’ll sleep with him despite being royally pissed off at him?” He chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you girl.”

“So what do you think the excuse is going to be?” I ask him as I take a seat in the chair across from him. “Because he didn’t even try to defend his actions, make up excuses or anything like that.”

“What did he say to you?”

“Nothing.” I reply. “Nothing other than a we’ll talk. This is royally fucking with my nerves. I need to know why he cheated on me.”

“Maybe he was drunk.” Colson offers a suggestion. “It’s a shitty excuse but possible.”

“That’s what Nikki is thinking.” I sigh.

“Nikki knows!?” He exclaims. “Does Tommy know?”

“I made Nikki promise not to tell a soul until I talk to Doug.” I inform him. “So Nikki is the only soul that knows. Doug is very fucking lucky it’s only Nikki. Nikki likes him so it’s not wanting to kick any ass just yet. I think he’s waiting to hear Doug’s excuse before he starts an army.”

“What are your theories?”

“Being drunk is the main one.” I reply. “But my other theory is that he got freaked out. He asked me to marry him and I think everything became real too fast. So he took these last two weeks away from me to think about what he wanted. And what he wanted was apparently a proper British girlfriend.”

“Doug loves you, Nik. I promise you this.” Colson assures me. “He sees a future with you. He wants to marry you and start a life with you.”

“Guys that want to start a life with you don’t cheat on you with an ex.” I counter with a sigh. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”

“You did nothing wrong.” Colson gets up from the couch and kneels down in front of me; making me look directly in his brilliant blue eyes. “Doug is a fucking idiot for hurting you. He possibly ruined the best thing to happen to him.” I offer him a smile before pulling him into a hug. “I’ve got you girl; don’t worry. He may be my friend but he should not have broken your heart.”

“Tha…” Before I can thank Colson, there is a knock on my door. “Speak of that devil, maybe?”

“I’ll be on your balcony if you need me.” He places a kiss on my forehead before getting up and heading outside. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves before I get up off the chair and head towards the door. Opening up the door, I see Douglas standing there. No suitcases or anything. He must know he’s not welcome to stay here; or maybe he planned this all the long.

“Hey Nikkole.” He says, forcing a smile on his lips. “You look good.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” I move aside enough to let him into the apartment. “There is no point in prolonging the inevitable. So speak. Let’s see what excuses spew from your mouth like word vomit.”

“I am so sorry.” He starts. “I never meant to hurt you. Bel and I were together at a Gala and champagne was flowing and we got caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get caught up in that moment. And I apologize for it. But…”

“But what?” I ask, fearing what else he’s going to tell me.

“Since you came back to L.A, I’ve been thinking.” He tells me. “Maybe we are moving too fast. I started second guessing my decision to ask you to marry me.” I can feel a lump forming in my throat as tears threaten to fall. I had a feeling this would come up but I honestly hate being right all the time. “Nikki, I love you but I can’t marry you. Not now anyway.”

“And not ever.” I take off my engagement ring. “I had a feeling this would come up. Truly. But I wished it was just because you were drunk and not because we were drunk and seconding guessing us.” I had him the ring. There is a hurt look in his eyes and I almost feel bad for him. “I’ve spent the better part of my 20’s pining after a guy that played with my heart. But you came along and showed me how exactly I should be treated. And it’s a shame you ended up treating me the same way. But thanks to you, I’ll never allow a guy to play games with my heart. I’m not part of a Backstreet Boys song. I’m not a welcome mat. I’m not a groupie. I’m just a girl that deserve a lot better than she’s getting.”

“And where does this leave us?”

“This leaves you as another man that managed to break my heart.” I tell him. “You’re just going to be another pretty face to me. But I’m done. I’m not going to try and make this work. I’m not the one second guessing us. Maybe this’ll teach you a lesson about proposing to a girl. Make sure you love her as much as she loves you.”

“I do love you, Nikkole.”

“Just not enough to marry me.” I roll my eyes. “Goodbye Doug. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Because apparently, it’s not me…”

**



“I knew teaching Ben Hardy how to drum would be worth it!” Brittany laughs as we walk the red carpet for the world premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I'm proud of you.” I tell her “You powered through teaching a gorgeous Brit how to play drums and now you’re here on the red carpet. You’re living the dream Britt.”

“How are you feeling after your breakup?” She asks me. “I’ve barely seen you since. You either working an opposite shift at the bar or you’re in the studio. Michelle and Gunner are even worried about you. And you never push those two away.”

“I scrapped my EP idea and now I’m working on a full blown album.” I tell her. “I’m on a deadline to release it and I’ve been working my ass off to make it happen. I didn’t mean to push people away. I just don’t need distractions.”

“We just worry about you.” She informs me. “We just want to be happy.”

“I am happy.” I assure her. “Now no more talk about Doug okay? Let’s just be merry and rock out to Queen songs; okay?”

“Pub hopping afterwards?”

“That goes without saying…”

**

Instead of going to the after party with the stars of the movie, Brittany and I decide to go venture London by ourselves. We manage to find a quaint little pub and head inside. The bartender smirks at us as we sit down in front of him.

“What can I get you gorgeous ladies?”

“A couple tequila shots for me.” Brittany orders for herself. “And for my sexy and single friend here, a couple Jameson shots.” The bartender’s smirk grows before heading to fill our drinks.

“You just had to mention I was single, didn’t you?”

“You need to get your ass back on that horse.” She tells me. “And in that outfit, you can get anyone here in this bar.” I look down at my lacey white two-piece outfit and sigh. “Nik, you need to move on.”

“It’s almost been four months.” I inform her, feeling a little bit of deja vu. “I’m not ready to move on just yet.”

“You don’t still love him, do you?”

“Right now, he’s just a song to me.” I assure her. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I admit I still love him.”

“Just making sure.” She smiles. “Come on, tonight is about celebrating. Let’s get white girl wasted.” I can’t help but to laugh. This girl was a tiny blonde, shorter and skinnier than me, but she can put back more alcohol than a guy twice her size. I don’t know how she does it.

After another round of shots, we hear a commotion by the door causing the two of us to turn around to investigate. I can feel my heart break a little when my eyes fall upon a familiar set of eyes in the crowd.

“We can always leave.” I hear Brittany say. “There are always other bars to drink at.” I turn to her and offer her the fakest smile I can. “You know I can read you like a book, right?”

“It’s a busy bar.” I tell her. “He’s just one person. We’re staying. I’m not going to run. He dug his grave, not me. Now let’s have more shots.”

“We’re doing this after the premiere of The Dirt, right?” She asks as she flags down the bartender.

“Fuck yea!” I chuckle. “I’ll be offended if we didn’t.”

**

I’m waiting in line for the bathroom when I see a familiar Brit heading my way. He looks at me and he has a smile on his face.

“You look good.” He tells me. “What brings you to London?”

“I’m sure it’s none of your concern, Booth.” I tell him, trying to keep the conversation short. “Don’t you have friends to be drinking with?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” He tells me. “You’ve been ignoring all my phone calls.”

“It’s the beauty of having special ringtones for people.” I snort. “It makes it so much easier to ignore them.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

I narrow my eyes into a glare. “I think you know the answer to that. You did cheat on me or did you suddenly forget. Or did you forget that you called off our engagement because you were second guessing us?” My voice is getting louder by each word, causing the surrounding people to look at us. “Honestly, no; I’m not mad at you. I feel nothing towards you. What you did was worse than what every other boyfriend did to me. So yea, I feel nothing towards you. I hope you have a great life and success but that’s it.” The line move up more and now it’s finally my turn for the bathroom. “I honestly wish things were different between us. But I guess we don’t always get what we want. Bye Doug…”