Sun-Kissed

Robbie walked into my room just as I was getting my underwear on. He startled me and I jumped and tripped over my underwear that was around my knees and fell onto my bed. Robbie shouted in surprise and covered his eyes with his hand as he shut my door with his other arm.
“Dude, you should have fucking warned me or something.”
“You’re the one who walked into my room without knocking,” I yelled back.
I walked across the door and to my drawer to pick out shorts to put on. As soon as they were on, I gave Robbie the okay to uncover his eyes.
“You have a good point, but it’s like four pm, I didn’t expect you to be naked.”
“Well, I guess that’s a good point too,” I replied as I went through my closet to pick a t-shirt. I put one on and sat on my bed.
Robbie sat next to me. “Look, I know Justin had to go out of town with his family, but you can still come to the pier and watch the fireworks with Petra and me.”
“I’ll ride with you to the pier, but I’m not going to be your third wheel.”
“I’m not leaving you alone at the pier,” said Robbie. “There’s going to be a lot of people.
I took a deep breath. “I’m better now, Robbie. I promise. You don’t have to look out for me all the time.”
“I know, but you can’t expect me to just let up when I know what you’ve been through.”
“What I’ve been through, Robbie. That’s the keyword.”
“Okay, I get it but don’t forget that I’m the only one who knows what really happened. Unless you want to tell your mom or Lori and tell one of them, I’m going to be here for you no matter what; even if you don’t want me here or think you don’t need it, I’m going to be here.”
I started to get emotional and tear up a little. “Thanks, Robbie. I love you.”
He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, too, kid.”
“I’m three months older than you,” I said as I pushed him off of me.
He smiled. “Okay, but are you sure you’re gonna be okay on the pier?”
“Of course. You’re gonna be there too. If I need you, I’ll call you.”
I could tell that still wasn’t good enough for Robbie, but he knew that he had to accept it. I finished getting ready and we went off to pick up Petra. When we got to her house, I moved to the backseat so that way she could sit up front with Robbie. The three of us made our way to the pier and sang along to the newest songs on the radio and danced. We found some parking kind of far from the pier, but considering how packed with people the pier was probably going to be it was closer than we could have hoped. When we got to the pier, it was packed with so many people that you couldn’t even see the floor.
“Okay, we’re going to just walk up and down the pier to find a good spot to watch the fireworks,” said Robbie. “What’re you gonna do?”
“I think I’m gonna find my way to the Book Beetle and hang out there until I can go find a spot for the fireworks.”
“Okay, remember, call me if you need me.”
“Okay dad,” I said mockingly.
He smiled and shoved my shoulder playfully. “Shut up. See you later.”
I started to walk towards the Book Bettle, but I had to walk really slowly because there were so many people. I couldn’t walk an inch without bumping into someone’s shoulder. I immediately started to get nervous and then started to think that Robbie was right. I thought that I might have bitten off more than I could chew. Before I knew it, I couldn’t breathe and my vision was starting to get really blurry. Every time someone bumped into me they would jerk me into a different direction. They started to shout at me, telling me to move out of the way. I couldn’t handle it so I started to cover my ears and closed my eyes. It seemed like I was there for hours until I finally heard my name. It was muffled, but I heard it.
“Danny...Danny…”
Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was gentle and comforting. I opened my eyes and saw Owen standing in front of me. I looked around and bystanders had formed a kind of circle around me with concerned looks on their faces. I slowly uncovered my ears.
“He’s okay everyone, just keep walking,” said Owen. “Danny, what happened?”
I couldn’t say anything just then. I was just glad to see his face. For the first time in almost a year, I didn’t think about anything Owen had done to me. All I wanted him to do was hold me. So, I asked him to and he wrapped his strong arms around me and it felt so good. It felt like it did before. Then, I remembered that he’s had a girlfriend since before Christmas and I pushed myself off of him.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I started to look around for her.
“Zoe isn’t here,” he said, “if that’s who you’re looking for.”
“She isn’t?”
“No, she has a family thing.”
“Why aren’t you with your family?” I asked.
“We aren’t a big Fourth of July family.”
“Same,” I said. “So what’re you doing here?”
“I just thought I’d play some games at the arcade before checking out the fireworks. What about you?”
“I was trying to get to The Book Beetle.”
“You passed it,” he said.
“What?”
“Yeah it’s back there,” he said as he pointed behind me. “Want me to take you there?”
“No, I just want to get away from the crowds. Thanks, though.”
I started to walk away, but Owen called out to me. “Wait, let me at least take you to wherever you’re going.”
“I don’t think your girlfriend would like that,” I answered.
“As a friend,” he added.
“Were we ever really friends?”
“Good point, but we’re friends now aren’t we?”
“I guess,” I answered.
I let him walk beside me to a spot on the beach that I had in mind. It wasn’t my spot, because I hadn’t been there in months. It was just a particular spot that I knew wouldn’t be too crowded, but I would still be able to see the fireworks if I sat facing the pier. It took us a while to get there because of all the people, but we got there.
“Thanks for walking me,” I said.
“No problem, do you actually mind if I stay here with you? It’s almost dark and I won’t have time to play any games before the fireworks anyway.”
“I mean, it’s a free country. You can do what you want.”
So we both sat down on the sand, facing back to the pier. It was bustling with people trying to get a good spot for the fireworks show which, from our perspective, would happen right behind the pier. Owen didn’t sit super close to me, but he was close enough that I could smell his cologne. I thought that Zoe must have bought it for him because he never used to wear cologne before, at least not when we weren’t on a date.
“Can I ask you something?” I turned to him.
“You just did,” he responded with a smile. “Yeah, go ahead.”
“What was I to you?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, with a concerned look on his face.
“I mean, like, are you really bi, or was I just like a one-off?”
“Honestly...I don’t know,” he said. “What I had with you was real, I can tell you that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so intensely about anyone.”
“Not even Zoe?” I asked.
He smiled. “With Zoe it’s different. It just feels natural. With you, it was more like this intense bolt of lightning. It wasn’t unnatural, but it wasn’t a regularly occurring thing. Does that make sense?”
I smiled. “Yes, it actually does.” I paused and then asked one more question. “Are you attracted to other guys, though?”
Even in the growing darkness, I could see his cheeks flush red. “I mean, I have been yes. But it’s kind of like you ruined guys for me.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, no other guy is gonna measure up to you.”
Now I was the one blushing. After that we sat in the sand, not looking at each other, but off past the pier, waiting for the fireworks. Eventually, they started. Fireworks always amazed me. I don’t know why, because I saw them every year. It was just something about them, a big colorful bomb lighting up the night sky, that gave me the chills. I think Owen misinterpreted my chills as me being cold because he put his arm around me. My heart immediately started beating a million times a minute.
The firework show always lasts about ten minutes, which might seem pretty long, but it so short with Owen’s arm wrapped around me. As I was watching, I felt his eyes turned to me. I looked at him and he started to lean in towards me and for a moment, I forgot about everything. His lips touched mine and everything but us and the fireworks in front of us disappeared. When he stopped, that’s when I realized what I had done and I stood up.
“What’s wrong?” He asked as he stood up beside me.
“What’s wrong?! Are you serious?! You have a girlfriend and I’m…”
“You’re what?”
“I’m kind of starting to see Justin a little. It’s casual.”
“Justin? Are you serious? Him?”
“Owen, you can’t have it all. This is not ok.”
“But Danny...I miss you. I miss us.”
I sighed because I felt the same. I put a hand on his shoulder. “Our time together was great, but it’s in the past now. You have a girlfriend and I’m trying to get to know Justin.”
“Why trying?”
“I just want to take it slow, okay?”
“Is it because of me?”
“No, Owen, this may shock you, but not everything I do has to do with you.”
He stopped to look around. The fireworks were over by now. He offered to take me back home. I accepted, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I texted Robbie to tell him that Owen was going to give me a ride home. Do not let that asshole take you home, is what Robbie replied, but I ignored him.
The ride home with Owen was mostly silent. He would make some comments here and there about whatever song was on the radio or whatever movie he had last seen. I would reply just to be polite, but I didn’t really want to keep the conversation going. When we got to my house he insisted on walking me to my door. When we got to the door, the porch light turned on.
“I’m gonna break up with Zoe,” he said as he put his hands on my shoulders.
“Owen, don’t do that.”
“I want to win you back.”
“I’m not a prize. I’m a human being. And what’s going to happen when we go back to school? Would you just act like you didn’t know me again? Are you ready to be my boyfriend in public?”
He took a deep breath. “I think I am. I just can’t stop thinking of you, Danny.”
He leaned in to kiss me and I let him. His lips felt soft and his chin was stubbly. It was like nothing ever happen, as if no time had passed. It felt like us and I liked it. The door opened and I expected to see my mom, but I was shocked to see my dad. I pushed Owen away as soon as I saw him. My father’s eyes were wide and angry.
“Daniel, get inside the fucking house.” He said it sternly without yelling.
“Wait, Mr. Garcia-”
“Get the fuck off of my property.”
“Owen, just go home.”
He put his head down and started to walk back to his car. My dad grabbed me by arm and dragged me into the house. He slammed the door so hard that the whole house practically shook. After that, he slammed me up against the foyer wall, pictures of the family that my mom had up fell to the ground and the frames shattered. My mom ran out into the foyer from the living room.
“What the hell is going on?” She yelled.
“That’s what I want to know. What in the hell were you doing with that boy?”
“Victor,” my mom pleaded.
I wanted to answer but I was frozen and my dad was squeezing my arms so tight that he was cutting off my circulation.
“Answer me,” he yelled as he started to bang me up against the wall.
“Victor let him go!” She ran over and tried to get him off of me, but she wasn’t strong enough.
That’s when Owen burst through the door. He must have heard my dad go nuts from outside of the house. Owen charged at my father and pushed him off of me. I was actually surprised that he was able to do it. My dad was a very strong guy.
“Get off of him!”
My dad fell to the ground and as soon as he let go, I slid down the wall into a sitting position, with my knees to my chest. I was shaking uncontrollably. Owen bent down to check on me. He put one hand on the side of my arm and the other on my cheek.
“Danny, are you okay?”
Before I could answer, my dad was getting up from the ground, but my mom pushed him down again.
“No! You get the fuck out of my house.”
“This is my house too!” He screamed as he got up.
My mom got in his face“Not since the divorce. Get out! And if you ever, EVER, touch my son again I’m gonna have you thrown in jail so fast your head will be spinning!”
My dad left, slamming the door again. I couldn’t contain myself. My entire body was shaking and I was just staring into nothing. The whole incident was a giant trigger. All I could see was Cody looming over me. It took a while, but Owen was finally able to get through to me. I looked him in his eyes and just fell into his body, immediately starting to cry.
“Come on, let’s get you to your bed,” he said.
He helped me up and walked me to my room. I could almost barely walk because my legs were so weak from the shock. I was glad Owen was there to hold me up. He walked me into my room and sat me on my bed. He took my shoes off and then laid me down.
“You need to get some rest,” he said. “I can come back to check on you in the morning if you want.”
“Thanks, Owen.”
He left my room and I heard him and my mom exchanging some words and then he left. My mom came in to check in on me. We had a long conversation about it, but ultimately, I just wanted to sleep. The whole thing exhausted me. That night I didn’t get much sleep despite how exhausted I was. I was woken up often by nightmares. Eventually, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was waking up to the sound of Lorena and mom arguing. I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand and it read 12:57 PM. I reached for my phone. There were text messages from Owen and Robbie.
Robbie’s read, “Hey, Lori called & told me what happened. R U ok?”
Owen’s read, “I’m meeting with Zoe 2day 4 lunch. I’m going 2 break up with her. I’ll C U at 2”
I had mixed feelings about Owen breaking up with Zoe to be with me. The Danny that was in love with him a year before was elated, but the Danny that I had become after Cody wasn’t sure if I was ready to be so close to Owen again. It felt right with Owen, it always did, but I knew that eventually, I would have to tell him the truth. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. I also knew that eventually, Owen would want to have sex again. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that either.
The first thing I did was text Robbie and tell him that I was okay. Then I walked out of my room and to the bathroom. In the background, Lorena was yelling at my mom, telling her that she needed to press charges against my father for assault. They didn’t even notice me come out of my room because they didn’t stop arguing. I took a shower and when I got out, the yelling had stopped. At that point, I was sure that they had realized that I was awake. As I walked to my room from the bathroom in just a towel, Lorena came up to me.
“Danny, are you okay?” Asked Lorena as she put her hands on my shoulders.
“Lori, can we do this when I’m not naked?”
She realized I was in just a towel. “Right, but you’re not getting out of this talk.”
After that, I walked around her to go and get dressed. As I was getting dressed, Owen arrived at my house. I was kind of glad that Lorena wouldn’t have the chance to talk to me about what happened, but at the same time, I was nervous about talking to Owen. The doorbell rang and I scrambled to try and find the right shirt to wear. I was still tearing through my closet when he knocked on the door. I knew that he knew I was in here so I opened the door, still shirtless. I could tell by the look on his face that he was unprepared to see me shirtless. I didn’t know what the big deal was, though, I was just a skinny twig back then, but I guess that was his thing.
“Sorry, I was getting dressed,” I said as I let him in and closed the door behind him.
He stood awkwardly until I picked a shirt. I picked a plaid button-up shirt that wasn’t really the one that I wanted, but I felt like I just needed to make a quick decision. I invited him to sit with me on my bed. My bed was pushed up against the wall in my bedroom, so we scooted all the way back to rest our backs on the wall. I had my knees up to my chest and he sat cross-legged.
“How are you?” he asked, looking at me with the most sincere look he has ever given me.
“I’m still a little bit shocked, but I think I’ll be okay. Thank you for being there for me.”
“When he slammed the door shut and I could hear you scream and him slamming you against the wall, I was so scared. I didn’t hesitate. I knew that I had to protect you.”
I put my hand down onto his leg.
“Well, you didn’t have to, but I’m glad that you did,” I replied.
He put his hand on top of mine and then took a deep breath. “I broke up with Zoe today at lunch. Danny, I want to be with you again. Even if it doesn’t happen today, I’m willing to wait for you. You’re the only one I want and I promise I’m not going to mess it up this time. I’m gonna tell my family and I’m gonna tell all my friends. They’re gonna know that I love Danny Garcia.”
After he finished his little speech, a surprised look spread across his face. I don’t think he expected to say that he loved me. Honestly, I didn’t expect him to say it either, but when he was done, the only thing I wanted to do was kiss him. So, I put my legs down so they were straight onto the bed and then I leaned over and connected our lips for one small kiss.
“Owen, I really, really care about you, but...I’ve gone through something that changed me. I want to be with you. I always have, but I need to take it slow, like really, really slow.”
He took a deep breath, leaned his forehead against mine and put his hand on my cheek. “I promise you that I will take things as slowly as you need.”
I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped his arms around me and it was a silent agreement that we would try again. All I wanted was for us to be okay again, but I was worried that my trauma would get in the way of that.