So Long
twenty-two.
Claire nearly chokes on the air she’s inhaling, and her heart erupts into a thunderous pace under her ribs. She stares, wide-eyed and panicking, at the surface of the pool and wonders if she can learn to live and breathe in the chlorinated water within the next five seconds. Rhiannon releases her hand and clambers to her feet, murmuring that she’ll just head home but she’s only a text away if Claire needs her; Claire wants to beg her to stay, but she stays quiet, unable to speak in the silence that echoes deafeningly following Niall’s request. The doors leading inside close, and soft footsteps cross the patio. His bare feet come into view before dropping into the pool next to hers.
Claire avoids looking at Niall - she has no idea how much he heard, but she is almost entirely certain that this conversation isn’t going to be a pleasant one for her. From the corner of her eye, she sees his head drop back, exposing the column of his throat, as he gazes up at the stars in the sky. She shivers at the scent of his cologne that floats through the air between them, fills her nose.
“I thought I dreamt you kissing me,” he admits suddenly without taking his eyes off the nighttime sky. “I’d had a lot to drink, after all, and it... it wouldn’t have been the first time my brain told me something happened that didn’t. It wasn’t until I felt like you were avoiding me that I realised I didn’t.”
“I didn’t want to make things awkward,” whispers Claire; her lips are numb, wooden, and her heart still hasn’t calmed from its painful rhythm.
Niall snorts, catching her eye for the first time since he came outside. “And what, you didn’t think changing the entire dynamic of our interactions would do that? We went from sarcastic comments and witty remarks to ‘Anything else, Niall? No?’ Boom, you’d disappear. That made things awkward.”
She swings her legs gently, watches as the ripples distort the view of her feet. Her head is swimming with nervousness, the uncertainty, and her thoughts race around each other. The only thing that’s clear is she doesn’t know what he hopes to gain from this conversation. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need you to be honest with me.”
Honesty is a hard thing, but Claire knows that she owes him that much. After all, he has been an amazing boss, tolerant of her sarcasm and difficulties keeping her temper in check, and he’s given her a place to live after the whole debacle with her roommates. So she swallows the lump in her throat and manages to tell him, no matter how awkward and stilted her words are, about the fact that she has been attracted to him from the beginning.
Niall stays quiet, listening intently as she explains that the attraction morphed from simple and easy to actual feelings not too long into her having the job, that it’s just gotten stronger and harder to ignore the longer she’s been here. She steals a glance at him, unsurprised by the serious expression on his face - one thing she has learnt in the last nine months is that when Niall finds something important, he focuses solely on that particular thing. Claire has to admit that she finds it reassuring that he thinks this talk is important.
A hazy memory wiggles to the forefront of her mind, and she turns her head so he can’t see the way her cheeks go aflame. “Did... did you kiss my forehead? That morning in the hotel in New York, after we got snowed in?”
“I didn’t think you’d remember that,” Niall replies after a long minute, his voice oddly strangled. When she looks at him, his face has turned a brilliant red.
“Well, it seems we both have a proclivity for thinking we’ve dreamt up kisses.”
“It appears so.” Niall inhales slowly, and Claire chews on her lower lip while he taps his fingertips against his thigh. “I’ll be honest with you, since you were honest with me. I’ve, well, I’ve wanted to talk to you about the possibility of, er, moving things from a strictly boss-employee relationship to a real one. Where we go on dates and do things a couple does.”
Now, Claire’s heart races for a different reason. She drags in a shaky breath and stares down at her feet. “I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, I don’t think.” When he’s quiet, she looks up at him, can see how hard he tries to keep his expression neutral, but there is no denying that his face falls at her words. She rushes to explain, “I mean, I couldn’t be your PA while I’m dating you. It would feel too... weird, I guess is the best way to say it, to do my duties as an assistant while also, y’know, reaping the benefits of a stable relationship.”
He huffs out a laugh, tension bleeding from his body. She shifts to face him as he does the same. “That makes sense. So, Claire Hunter, this is me officially firing you. You are hereby released of your responsibilities as my personal assistant.”
“Wow. I’ve been fired loads of times, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever been excited about it.”
His bright smile splits his face, and Claire can’t stop her giggles even when he leans forward slowly enough that she can reject it. She meets him halfway, struggling to bite back her nervous laughter. The kiss is awkward because of the angle, but it’s far better than she thought it would be: soft, sweet, just the right amount of pressure. Claire has had plenty of first kisses in her life, and not one of them has ever been this effortlessly wonderful. She pulls away with a lightness in her chest, darting back in to kiss the grin off Niall’s lips.
“I have to tell you now, this doesn’t mean I’m instantly going to jump into your bed.”
“Why the Hell would I think it did?”
“It’s nothing against you, I promise. I’ve just... I’ve learnt to be firm with my expectations and boundaries.”
Niall frowns, and Claire hopes he doesn’t ask the question she knows is on his mind. Thankfully, he doesn’t. He just strokes his thumb across her cheekbones, ducking down to kiss her again. She shivers at the tender contact; they climb to their feet after a few minutes, and Claire hesitates but laces their fingers together.
He doesn’t let her let go even when he locks up the house. She laughs quietly as she’s tugged after him, but it isn’t much of an inconvenience - this is what she wants, and she’s not about to put a stop to the connection if she has a choice. He follows her up the stairs, and she comes to a stop outside of her door. In a mimicry of that night, she steps closer, leans up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips quirk, he turns his head to catch her mouth with his.
<< I lost my job because of you. Thanks.
>> OH NO! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he would be the kind of guy who would fire you over things being awkward. I’ll kick his ass, I swear it.
>> Nah, don’t. Not worth it. I guess this just means my boyfriend will have to give me a super good recommendation when I go job hunting again.
>> .........I’ll be there first thing in the morning, and you WILL TELL ME EVERYTHING.
Claire snorts in amusement at Rhiannon’s demand, sends back a thumbs up emoji, and tosses her phone onto the nightstand. She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling. Today certainly hasn’t gone the way she anticipated, but she has zero complaints. Niall’s kisses linger on her lips, she can feel the ghost of his breath on her face. Her heart settles in her ribs, and she falls asleep still smiling.
Claire avoids looking at Niall - she has no idea how much he heard, but she is almost entirely certain that this conversation isn’t going to be a pleasant one for her. From the corner of her eye, she sees his head drop back, exposing the column of his throat, as he gazes up at the stars in the sky. She shivers at the scent of his cologne that floats through the air between them, fills her nose.
“I thought I dreamt you kissing me,” he admits suddenly without taking his eyes off the nighttime sky. “I’d had a lot to drink, after all, and it... it wouldn’t have been the first time my brain told me something happened that didn’t. It wasn’t until I felt like you were avoiding me that I realised I didn’t.”
“I didn’t want to make things awkward,” whispers Claire; her lips are numb, wooden, and her heart still hasn’t calmed from its painful rhythm.
Niall snorts, catching her eye for the first time since he came outside. “And what, you didn’t think changing the entire dynamic of our interactions would do that? We went from sarcastic comments and witty remarks to ‘Anything else, Niall? No?’ Boom, you’d disappear. That made things awkward.”
She swings her legs gently, watches as the ripples distort the view of her feet. Her head is swimming with nervousness, the uncertainty, and her thoughts race around each other. The only thing that’s clear is she doesn’t know what he hopes to gain from this conversation. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need you to be honest with me.”
Honesty is a hard thing, but Claire knows that she owes him that much. After all, he has been an amazing boss, tolerant of her sarcasm and difficulties keeping her temper in check, and he’s given her a place to live after the whole debacle with her roommates. So she swallows the lump in her throat and manages to tell him, no matter how awkward and stilted her words are, about the fact that she has been attracted to him from the beginning.
Niall stays quiet, listening intently as she explains that the attraction morphed from simple and easy to actual feelings not too long into her having the job, that it’s just gotten stronger and harder to ignore the longer she’s been here. She steals a glance at him, unsurprised by the serious expression on his face - one thing she has learnt in the last nine months is that when Niall finds something important, he focuses solely on that particular thing. Claire has to admit that she finds it reassuring that he thinks this talk is important.
A hazy memory wiggles to the forefront of her mind, and she turns her head so he can’t see the way her cheeks go aflame. “Did... did you kiss my forehead? That morning in the hotel in New York, after we got snowed in?”
“I didn’t think you’d remember that,” Niall replies after a long minute, his voice oddly strangled. When she looks at him, his face has turned a brilliant red.
“Well, it seems we both have a proclivity for thinking we’ve dreamt up kisses.”
“It appears so.” Niall inhales slowly, and Claire chews on her lower lip while he taps his fingertips against his thigh. “I’ll be honest with you, since you were honest with me. I’ve, well, I’ve wanted to talk to you about the possibility of, er, moving things from a strictly boss-employee relationship to a real one. Where we go on dates and do things a couple does.”
Now, Claire’s heart races for a different reason. She drags in a shaky breath and stares down at her feet. “I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, I don’t think.” When he’s quiet, she looks up at him, can see how hard he tries to keep his expression neutral, but there is no denying that his face falls at her words. She rushes to explain, “I mean, I couldn’t be your PA while I’m dating you. It would feel too... weird, I guess is the best way to say it, to do my duties as an assistant while also, y’know, reaping the benefits of a stable relationship.”
He huffs out a laugh, tension bleeding from his body. She shifts to face him as he does the same. “That makes sense. So, Claire Hunter, this is me officially firing you. You are hereby released of your responsibilities as my personal assistant.”
“Wow. I’ve been fired loads of times, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever been excited about it.”
His bright smile splits his face, and Claire can’t stop her giggles even when he leans forward slowly enough that she can reject it. She meets him halfway, struggling to bite back her nervous laughter. The kiss is awkward because of the angle, but it’s far better than she thought it would be: soft, sweet, just the right amount of pressure. Claire has had plenty of first kisses in her life, and not one of them has ever been this effortlessly wonderful. She pulls away with a lightness in her chest, darting back in to kiss the grin off Niall’s lips.
“I have to tell you now, this doesn’t mean I’m instantly going to jump into your bed.”
“Why the Hell would I think it did?”
“It’s nothing against you, I promise. I’ve just... I’ve learnt to be firm with my expectations and boundaries.”
Niall frowns, and Claire hopes he doesn’t ask the question she knows is on his mind. Thankfully, he doesn’t. He just strokes his thumb across her cheekbones, ducking down to kiss her again. She shivers at the tender contact; they climb to their feet after a few minutes, and Claire hesitates but laces their fingers together.
He doesn’t let her let go even when he locks up the house. She laughs quietly as she’s tugged after him, but it isn’t much of an inconvenience - this is what she wants, and she’s not about to put a stop to the connection if she has a choice. He follows her up the stairs, and she comes to a stop outside of her door. In a mimicry of that night, she steps closer, leans up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips quirk, he turns his head to catch her mouth with his.
<< I lost my job because of you. Thanks.
>> OH NO! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he would be the kind of guy who would fire you over things being awkward. I’ll kick his ass, I swear it.
>> Nah, don’t. Not worth it. I guess this just means my boyfriend will have to give me a super good recommendation when I go job hunting again.
>> .........I’ll be there first thing in the morning, and you WILL TELL ME EVERYTHING.
Claire snorts in amusement at Rhiannon’s demand, sends back a thumbs up emoji, and tosses her phone onto the nightstand. She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling. Today certainly hasn’t gone the way she anticipated, but she has zero complaints. Niall’s kisses linger on her lips, she can feel the ghost of his breath on her face. Her heart settles in her ribs, and she falls asleep still smiling.