When All Else Fails

Returning home felt like an eternity and even trying to join in with Angel's group in her happiness, was not a moment that Maria could truly rejoice in. Tanny, Adda, and the others could not believe the news of Zeke's death, the joy of completing the mission was marred by their loss. All this time Ville stayed close to Maria, and to her surprise he took on an advisory role, helping her with breaking the news to the clan. Maria truly appreciated his courage and the fact that he had acted as a brave warrior, but nothing could calm her mind.

Maria knew better than to mope though, she could not wallow in misery forever, she needed to finalize the deal with Angel and in the back of her mind, she knew that they would probably have to find a new home. It seemed some scouts had escaped and Maria knew that this meant, they would go seek allies to come and crush them.

Where could she go now? Even their hideout was not safe...she had not planned for Angel to kill Kim, or to destroy the camp completely, she had only meant to scare them, to make them agree or at least escape with Olli and Jyrki without too much collateral damage. Yet she knew it was childish to hope for such a thing, for in all wars there had to be death.

"Why don't you all come and we can live together with my camp it is huge," Angel said. She was truly grateful to Maria and considered her a blood sister, and once she considered someone's family it was for life. "I appreciate but we would only place you in danger, as I am sure you will have to move too," Maria said.

"Hell no! I am not moving completely away, we have various camps we might move from the main one for now but the north is still mine, and so are the tunnel cities I will show you," Angel said. "I really do thank you but the original payment will suffice," Maria said her head hurting she did not want to debate this right now. "And what the hell are you going to do in the meantime? Keep your eyes peeled? No sleep?" Angel said worriedly.

"I will figure it out, I am a leader after all," Maria said grimly "Just like you are figuring out Zeke's death, listen," Angel said noticing Maria's anger "I am sorry about his loss, we all grieve the loss of loved ones, but he would not have wanted you to place the clan in danger, he would have wanted you to react and move on where you could think in peace and have allies" Angel added.

A knock interrupted the conversation as Alexi and Ville came in. They had both been talking to the people and calming the situation down, as people wanted to hear Maria and Angel tell them what was going to happen next? Yet Alexi knew Ville was worried about Maria, he could tell that he cared for her the way he cared for Angel.

"What is the meaning or purpose of this interruption I am in a meeting," Maria said, "If the people outside want a speech there is not much to say, I will inform them about Zeke's passing, but for now there are matters to attend," Maria said coldly.

"What the people outside want is a real leader" Ville blurted out, Alexi looked at him in shock and braced for Maria to get up and hit him, "I think I will leave you alone for now, but please consider my offer sister," Angel said, as she hurried and pulled Alexi out giving him a "better leave them to talk" look.
Silence filled the room as a random storm raged outside, though not much grew from it nowadays, it was as it mourned for Zeke too. "You think you can lead my people better than me Mr. Valo?" Maria said standing up and opening her stash it was all Vodka, it was her only vice, and she had collected it over the years, it helped her cope with feelings.

Ville looked at her with pain, yes he was aware of the loss she had just suffered, and how much it hurt to move on, yet how long ago had he drowned himself in sorrow at the bottom of those bottles, and yet it had been nothing but a "rabbit hole" that had sunk him deep beneath a land of confusion, and sorrow, and self-hate.

"I think I can help you lead if you let me..." Ville said as Maria stayed silent drinking shots away as if they were water. Ville approached her cautiously like a man approaching an open fire. "And how is that...I mean sure you....saved me....almost sacrificed yourself for the cause...I will not deny that...but leading is a whole different ball game sir" she said downing a bottle almost gagging before Ville walked to her, grabbed and tossed the bottle to the floor, holding her close even against her protests.

"If you do not let me go now," Maria said as Ville continued to hold her "You'll what kill me? push me away with that stoic cold heart of yours.... kick me, punch me?" Ville said, as he let go of her softly, Maria stood there, how he managed to calm her annoyed her.

"Tanny is a mess, Noe is barely hanging in there, and Adda is devastated, I am not here telling you I want to replace Zeke, I will never do that...I am just worried, really worried about you, and I want to make sure that you have all the help you can get, what Angel offers is the best decision you can make, and I want to help you plan, I saw what you were like out there, I saw you face death in the face, and I" he said making Maria shiver, she kept having to swallow to hold her tears back.
"I...want to be your shield if you let me, your gun if you need me, your friend if you want to yell at me, and kick me....your bottle to drown your sorrows in, but your people need you, their leader right now! so wake up!" he said leaning close if he held her now....if he kissed her....her walls would break.

How could he know? Ville was telling her almost the same exact thing Zeke had told her those many years ago when she was a young survivor, still reckless, still afraid. How did he know how to keep her here in his arms? How did he know how to make her feel safe? She hated it all of it.

"I do not need your pity, I am a leader, people die, things happen, people will keep dying, and yet here you are, a rookie, comforting me?" Maria scoffed trying to step away as he held stepped aside. "I am an embarrassment, Zeke is dead because of me!" Maria said, "We will all be dead if you lose faith darling," Ville said.

"I believe in you, after what I saw today I do....please you have to be strong," Ville said, "I do no think Zeke would want you to fade away like this...I do not want you to fade away...." he said sweetly and before she could protest Ville had taken her in his arms had turned her around rashly and soon his lips were on her lips.

They told her of all his sorrow, they lifted her soul to heaven, they were causing her tears to fall, they were melting her, in her indecision and hate he was there, in battle he had been willing to be her sacrifice, and now he was comforting her, even as she pushed him away....for her heart was beating fast and it hurt. How long had it been since she had felt anything but bitterness?

"This cannot be happening," Maria said, breathlessly as she pushed him away, even if she wanted to pull him towards her, "Why not?" Ville whispered sweetly "Because everything is uncertain and people die, but now everything is even more uncertain and we will all die sooner than later," Maria said.
"Then let me live in this uncertainty let me be unsure with you, let me help you, be strong, please," Ville said as his emerald eyes bore deep into her soul.

His eyes were so deep that she could sense all of his feelings, she had never met someone whose heart drawn on his face. She looked away, not wanting to fall, "What happen cannot happen ever again....but...if you truly wish to help, I will bring it to the others to counsel me on allowing you to be an advisor" Maria replied, as Ville let her go pain in his eyes.

Yet he was happy she was allowing him to be close. "However, a meeting must be called into place first, as for Angel's request, well...I will consider it, as much as I want to deny it, I need the help, I will make my decision before she parts she is to stay here for a week to hideout for some time" Maria said.

"Very well," Ville said a bit hurt, the way she had responded to his kiss was passion unbounded, and yet here she was ignoring it and cutting him off, he knew she needed time, especially right now, but for that reason for that sole reason he wanted to make sure she did not resort to that liquid poison.
Though he was afraid to push her buttons, he had to keep her safe, "As long as you promise to be safe with your drinking" Ville said, hoping she would not push him away again.

His concern was touching and she knew that Ville was right, it was hard to compromise on certain things, but the worry on his face was so tangible it hurt her heart as much as the kiss had as if the cold stone that had replaced her heart was beginning to blossom into full-fledged roses.
Maria was scared. He was a beautiful creature. A kind creature. He would be her doom if he got too close....her lips were still burning from his searing kiss.