I Kissed a Boy. And I Liked it.

Ryan doesn’t forget what happened in the morning. He remembers everything. Well, he’s a bit foggy on the details, but he remembers it. And he knows that Brendon definitely remembers it, because Brendon was totally sober, as far as he knew.

He’s completely beating himself up, from the moment he wakes up in the morning and gets ready. He makes the decision to pretend that he doesn’t remember it. He decides to just act like nothing ever happened. And he’s sure that if Brendon thinks that he doesn’t remember it, then Brendon will act like it never happened, too.

So when he sees Brendon in the hotel lobby, he just smiles and says hi like it’s no big deal. And just as Ryan had suspected, Brendon replies with a ‘hey’ like it’s no big deal as well.

The day is busy. They have interviews and a signing to do before sound check, but it’s good because Ryan barely has to talk to Brendon at all. He knows Brendon thinks that he was too drunk to remember the night before, and Ryan is glad that his plan is working out because there’s hardly even any awkward tension. Sure, he’s definitely feeling it on the inside, and he’s sure that Brendon is, too, but they don’t let it surface.

They make it the whole day without once being awkward around each other. Four days later and the incident hasn’t been brought up once and it’s almost as if it happened so long ago that things are almost back to normal. Four touring days is like eight real-world days, so it seems as if it all happened over a week ago.

They’re somewhere in North Carolina and they have a day off. A wonderful, glorious day off with no obligations, nothing to do.

All Brendon has been wanting to do is sleep until two in the afternoon in an actual bed, which is exactly what he gets. Shane goes out with Jon, Spencer, and some of the guys from the other bands, leaving Brendon alone and asleep in their hotel room. He wakes up happy and so refreshed, not even feeling bad when he checks his phone and the time is 2:18 PM. He sees a note that Shane left him, telling him where he went, followed by an ‘I love you’ and it makes Brendon smile. And then his phone rings, and it’s ‘What I’ve Been Looking For’ from High School Musical, so he knows that it’s Ryan calling him.

“Hello?” he answers, and his voice still sounds groggy.

“Oh, shit, did I wake you up?”

“No, no, I was already awake. What’s up?”

“Are you alone right now?” Ryan asks, and Brendon panics for a second, because the last time Ryan asked him that question over the phone, it led to…bad, bad things.

“Um…yeah,” Brendon answers reluctantly. “Why?”

“Well, everyone else is gone and I’m bored…and…I have some of our favourite green gentleman, and there’s really only enough left for two people, so--”

“I’m in room two-eighty-six,” Brendon interrupts.

“I’m on my way.”

When Ryan gets there he smiles, pulling the little baggy of weed from his front pocket, dangling it in front of Brendon who grins and snatches it from him.

“I hope you have something to smoke it out of because I don’t,” Ryan says, and Brendon just nods, holding up the pipe that he’d already gotten out.

“One step ahead of you, Ross,” he says.

“You’re amazing. Those windows don’t open, do they?” Ryan asks and Brendon shakes his head and points towards the bathroom.

“No smoke detectors in there,” he says. And they know that it’s not even very likely for the smoke detectors to pick up a little marijuana smoke, but they’d rather not risk it, so the two of them go into the small bathroom, closing the door. Ryan lifts himself to sit up on the counter while Brendon stands, doing the honour of packing the bowl tight with the weed.

“Do you have a lighter?” Brendon asks Ryan, who nods, shifting his position to pull a lighter from his pockets, which he hands to Brendon.

“Thanks. You want the first hit?” he asks him next.

“No, it’s okay, you can start it,” Ryan says.

“Okay,” Brendon responds, wrapping his lips around the end of the pipe, holding the bowl between his thumb and index finger, making the sure the air hole is covered, and he brings the lighter up, tilting it downward so the flame hits the green and he sucks in, closing his eyes as the smoke burns the back of his throat, creeping into his lungs. He sucks in once more then pulls the pipe away and hands it over to Ryan who takes it, getting the last of what’s already burning before lighting it up again.

Smoke fills the small room quickly and the pungent scent of the weed surrounds them.

“Turn the shower on. The steam from it will make it not smell so…obvious,” Ryan says.

“It will?” Brendon asks, and Ryan looks at him for a long while, smiling in a dazed sort of way.

“Maybe,” he says, then laughs, and Brendon laughs too, because he can’t help it, because the stuff that they’re smoking…it’s strong. It’s the good stuff.

Brendon does what Ryan suggests, turning the shower on and turning back to take his turn and take another hit.

Not even five minutes later, the room is filled with smoke and steam and the mirrors are fogged and they’re both sweating, but they’re giggling and laughing and it’s almost like they don’t even care that they’re both very uncomfortable in the bathroom that they’ve turned into a smoke-out sauna.

“Know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Brendon says, putting the lighter to more of the weed, inhaling more of it.

“What?” Ryan asks, watching Brendon intently as he pulls the pipe from his lips, and then he’s leaning in towards Ryan and instinctively, Ryan parts his lips as they come in contact with Brendon’s, and Brendon blows the sweet smoke into his mouth, into his lungs.

Ryan puffs the excess smoke out of his mouth and nose, and Brendon is standing there smiling, looking oh so dopey and stoned, and Ryan giggles at Brendon’s half-lidded expression, and he can’t stop giggling, and Brendon’s laughing, too.

“You should do that again,” Ryan says, once he’s regained himself. “I liked it.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” Ryan nods, and Brendon is still holding the bowl, so he lights in again, taking another hit, and comes towards Ryan again and their lips connect as he exhales into Ryan’s mouth, and then Ryan’s tongue is touching against his own tongue, lightly, teasingly. Brendon does it right back as smoke unfurls between them from their opened mouths. And then Brendon puts the bowl down on the counter without even breaking what has turned into a kiss, and Ryan is still sitting up on the counter and Brendon is standing between his legs, and his hands are moving up to cup Ryan’s face, and their tongues are moving against each other lazily and it’s so much slower and more relaxed than every other time they’ve kissed and the pot probably has something to do with that, but it’s so nice even though they’re both already sweating enough as it is from the steam from the shower and the small, closed, confined space that they’re in.

It stays slow and it stays relaxed for a while, and then Ryan starts laughing again for absolutely no reason, and he breaks away from Brendon.

“How do we always end up in this situation?” he asks, giggling, and Brendon can’t help it, he erupts in giggles as well.

“I don’t know.”

“Seriously, this is the…fourth time.”

“Fourth? No, third.”

“Well, if we count what happened on the phone that night in Orlando….” Ryan says, and then Brendon is laughing even harder. If he weren’t stoned, he would be feeling pissed, embarrassed, awkward, or all of the above, but he’s so, so high and his feelings are more along the lines of ‘what-the-fuck-ever’.

“I thought you were so drunk that you didn’t even remember that!” Brendon laughs, and he’s laughing so hard that his eyes are watering. “So I pretended like it never happened!”

“I pretended that I didn’t remember so you would pretend like it never happened!”

“Oh my god, I can’t even believe that!”

“You wanna know something else you don’t know?” Ryan asks, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows in the way that he only does when he’s totally fucking baked.

“What?”

“Do you remember like, I don’t know, a week or two ago, it was the night after the day we made out sober?”

“Um,” Brendon says, obviously not remembering anything significant about that particular night.

“That night on the bus…you thought everyone was sleeping when you went into Shane’s bunk,” Ryan says, a sly smile spreading across his face. And Brendon, he’s high as a kite, but he knows exactly what Ryan is talking about, and the heat rises to his face and it has nothing to do with the hot, steamed-up bathroom.

“That’s not all,” Ryan continues, and he leans in closer to Brendon, his mouth hovering right over his ear before he whispers, “I got off to it.”

Brendon gulps, just standing there, and oh my god, that is by far the sexiest thing he has ever heard Ryan Ross say in his entire life.

“So you liked what you heard,” Brendon says, and he doesn’t know where the words are coming from, it’s like they’re just falling from his mouth, a product of the marijuana.

“Yeah,” Ryan breathes into Brendon’s ear. “Made me wonder just how good you are at giving head.”

“I can show you if you want,” Brendon says, and he only has to tilt his head slightly before his lips connect with the side of Ryan’s neck and then he’s kissing him there, letting his tongue flick across the skin, and Ryan’s hand is running through Brendon’s hair, and Brendon trails wet kisses down his neck, across his throat, reaching the collar of Ryan’s shirt.

He pulls back from Ryan, not even looking up at him before he unbuttons the first button of Ryan’s shirt. Ryan just watches as Brendon undoes his shirt for him, and he’s still sitting on the counter and Brendon is still standing between his legs and he’s already starting to get hard. Brendon pushes Ryan’s shirt open, not taking it off, just exposing the pale chest and stomach, reconnecting his mouth to Ryan’s throat, licking a path straight across his Adam’s apple causing Ryan to let out a long breath and, yeah, there’s a growing tent in his pants. He closes his eyes, feeling Brendon’s lips move down his chest, and his head is spinning in the most wonderful way, and Brendon just keeps moving lower and lower.

He’s licking at the skin right above Ryan’s pants, and he’s leaning over, his hands on the counter on either side of Ryan and fuck, Ryan’s pants are so tight and he just wants them off.

“Brendon,” he groans, and he can feel Brendon smile against his stomach, but he understands, hands leaving the counter and finding the button on Ryan’s jeans. His mouth doesn’t even leave Ryan’s body as he unbuttons and unzips Ryan’s pants, but then he pulls away, tugging at his pants, and Ryan presses his hands into the counter to support himself as he lifts his hips, Brendon sliding Ryan’s jeans and underwear both down in one go.

Brendon’s mind is absolutely racing, especially when he sees Ryan’s dick right in front of him. And it’s not so much seeing his dick, because he’s seen his dick plenty of times before, but his dick is fucking hard. And he had already been impressed by Ryan’s flaccid cock. But hard? Jesus fucking Christ, Brendon’s not even sure he’ll be able to fit the thing in his mouth. It’s like porn star cock. Really, for Ryan’s skinniness, his cock is a fucking monster. A good monster, of course. Like a Sesame Street monster…just…not for children. And Brendon is almost to the point of having a giggling fit, thinking about Ryan’s dick as a Sesame Street monster, but he holds it back because there’s business to be done, and that business involves his mouth on Ryan’s monster porn star dick.

Ryan’s pants are down to his knees, and that’s really as far as they need to go, but they’re in the way, blocking Brendon from getting as close as he wants to be, so he pulls them down further, pulls them down until they’re off and lets them fall to the bathroom floor. And he’s comfortably standing between Ryan’s legs again, and they’re close, and he’s kissing Ryan, Ryan’s hands in his hair again, and Brendon inches his hand up Ryan’s thigh and then his hand is on Ryan’s cock, and Ryan breathes in sharply, and Brendon grins against Ryan’s lips. He pulls away from Ryan, his hand beginning to pump, and Ryan’s eyes are closed and he licks his lips, and god, it’s the hottest thing Brendon has ever seen.

He leans down, his hand stopping at the base of Ryan’s cock, and then he licks across the head and Ryan breathes loudly again. Brendon takes a small amount into his mouth, closing his lips around it, letting his tongue swirl around the tip, and he can feel Ryan’s fingers lacing through his hair again, not pushing him any farther, just letting his hand sit there.

Brendon moves down farther until his mouth is filled and his jaw hurts, but he doesn’t even mind, and he can go farther, he knows that he can. Ryan lets out a soft moan when his dick hits the back of Brendon’s throat. It hasn’t even been more than a few minutes, and Ryan is already sure that this is the best head he’s ever gotten.

“Jesus, Brendon,” Ryan moans and then Brendon, he fucking hums, his mouth still around Ryan’s cock, and the vibrating sensation drives Ryan fucking wild.

“Fuck,” he mutters, his breathing laboured and ragged and goddamn, he loves Brendon’s mouth. He loves it so much that he could fuck it. And shit, he is fucking it, basically, and he doesn’t even care about how weird it is, he’ll think about that later. But right now, Brendon is doing amazing things to his dick with his mouth and the only thing going through his mind is ‘Fuckyesgoddamnshitfuckyesyesyes’.

Brendon can’t even get all of Ryan’s dick into his mouth, even with his slight deepthroating abilities, but he’s using his hand to pump the amount of cock that he can’t fit and Ryan seems to be enjoying it all the same. He’s pulling at his hair now and Brendon doesn’t even mind -- to be honest, he finds it pretty damn hot, and the bulge in his own pants throbs, begging to be touched.

His head bobs up and down in Ryan’s lap and Ryan’s letting out these little whimpers and moans and it’s so hot -- like, literally, the temperature in the bathroom has to be well around five hundred degrees or something, not even counting how much the steam from the shower is adding, and they’re both sweating.

Ryan’s hips jerk upwards, causing his cock to ram into the back of Brendon’s throat, and he gags a bit because he really wasn’t prepared for that, but he knows that it means that Ryan is close. He pulls off, still pumping with his hand, and he licks the head, and Ryan is moaning, he’s slurring words incoherently, and Brendon puts it all in his mouth again and Ryan’s hand is pulling at Brendon’s hair so hard that Brendon is sure that he’s going to have bald spots when this is all over.

“Bren…,” Ryan moans, and Brendon knows that it’s a warning, but he’s prepared. Even though he doesn’t even enjoy swallowing that much, he does it anyways, just because he knows how much the receiver of the blowjob usually likes it. And Brendon is a people-pleaser. He’s especially a Ryan-pleaser. So when Ryan comes, Brendon keeps his mouth on his dick, swallowing as much as he possibly can, a small amount leaking from the corners of his mouth, onto his hand.

“Fuck,” Ryan breathes, and his grip loosens on Brendon’s hair and Brendon pulls off, standing up straight again, and looks Ryan straight in the eyes, licking the last remnants from his lips.

“Shit, you’re hot,” Ryan mumbled, and his hand is still on the back of Brendon’s head, so he just pulls Brendon closer, attaching their lips once more. He tastes himself on Brendon’s tongue, and maybe it’s weird, but he doesn’t even care. He’s high, both literally and in the post-orgasmic sense and nothing even matters except BrendonandRyan.

“As good as you imagined?” Brendon asks, pressing his forehead and against Ryan’s and Ryan just smiles, his pupils dilated, his face flushed.

“Better,” he says, and Brendon grins, leaning in to kiss him again.

“It’s fucking hot in here,” Brendon says, pulling away from Ryan and stepping back a bit. And Ryan starts giggling again, and Brendon raises an eyebrow, asking “What?”

“You have a boner,” he points out, and then Brendon starts giggling, too.

“I’d ask you to help me out with it, but I don’t know when Shane is supposed to be back,” he tells him, and he leans over, turning the shower off -- he doesn’t even think it helped with whatever is was even supposed to help with -- and then reaches down to pick up Ryan’s pants and flings them at him.

Ryan catches his pants and slides off the counter so that he can put them on.

“Are we gonna be totally fucking awkward after this?” he asks, looking up at Brendon.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I mean, what the fuck is going on with us, Bren?”

“I have no idea, Ry.”

“Because this keeps happening, I don’t know if it’s going to continue happening, but if it does continue, can we please just not be awkward around each other after it happens?”

“I…I guess we can, yeah,” Brendon nods.

“Alright, well, I guess that’s settled,” Ryan says, zipping and buttoning his pants, beginning to button his shirt back up.

“I guess so.”

“I should probably go,” Ryan states, opening the bathroom door, letting out a content sigh when the cold air conditioning of the hotel room hits hit damp, sweaty skin.

“Yeah, probably,” Brendon says, following him out. “Thanks for sharing your weed.”

“Thanks for…sharing your mouth,” Ryan smiles, and there’s a few seconds of silence, both of them smiling at each other before they both lunge at each other and they’re kissing again.

It only takes a beep at the door for them to instantly break apart, because they know that the beep at the door was the beep of the door accepting a key card, and then the door is opening, and Shane walks in, and he smiles when he sees Brendon and Ryan.

“Hey guys,” he says, then sniffs the air. “It smells like weed in here.”

Brendon and Ryan both start giggling, despite the fact that both of their hearts are racing because holy shit, that was so close. But Shane doesn’t suspect a thing, other than the fact that his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s best friend are stoned as hell.

“I was just about to leave,” Ryan gets out through his stoned laughter, and he places his hand on Brendon’s arm and leaves it there longer than he needs to. “I’ll see you later, Brendon. See you, too, Shane.”

“Did you save any weed for me?” Shane asks before Ryan leaves, and Ryan just laughs even harder, and so does Brendon.

“I take that as a no. So, yeah, get out of our room, Ross,” Shane jokes, and Ryan waves one last time before he leaves.