Returning Home

Over the next few days, Josh let himself sink into the excitement of the city around him. People he had shared a jersey with congratulated him on his team’s win. The atmosphere that enveloped him was like a bottle of champagne being sprayed in celebration continuously. Bright, bubbly, and intoxicating but also sticky and unable to be removed. The team had put together a celebration for the office staff the day after the win and all the players had come to pay homage that night at the owner Bob Saltsman’s home. The next day had been a visit to local children’s hospital with the cup in tow. Watching the children’s faces light up when they saw the tall piece of hardware being held by their heroes.

Then came the parade. A twisting route through the centre of town with fans cheering loudly and exuberantly. Streamers shot from cannons and confetti rained down again. The end of the route was in front of the arena where they had won less than 48 hours earlier. As the captain, Josh was required to give a speech. He had hated speaking in public since doing so at his parent’s funeral but knew it was part of the role he had taken on. As he stood in front of the large crowd, he thanked them for the support, for giving him a home in this special town, and for pulling himself and his teammates along. He promised them a championship the following season and then sat back down. Ryan gave him a slap on the back as he settled into his seat and Josh closed his eyes for a moment. His flight home was in a few hours. His bags had been packed and taken to the airport. These were the last moments of peace for him. And he wanted to hold on to hit. Let that sticky champagne cover him so it would last until he returned back to Nashville.

And then it was over. He said goodbye to his teammates and had a driver take him to the airport. He had chartered a private plane for the trip back to Canada. He was landing in the country’s capital and then would drive an hour to the town called Prescott, actually just a little bit beyond. Samantha was already there, had been there for a couple of weeks. She had a break between when she left her part-time gig that gave her some spending money and when she started at the law firm. She had to return to Toronto in a few weeks.

The private plane was so he could set the barriers against the pain up in his mind. His last trip home had been when Samantha had graduated high school, and he had been drafted to the Chicago Blackhawks. His aunt and uncle had moved into the home where he had lived with his parents so he stayed in his old room. This time he had booked an Air BNB nearby. The trauma of attempted normalcy was still deep in his mind. How Sam had lived there during high school, he just didn’t understand.

The flight from Nashville to Ottawa was about 4 and a half hours. He read his book, played some solitaire on his tablet, and rested. During the flight, Samantha sent him a video text. He opened it up and her bright smile was thrust on him.

“Hey Josh,” she said as she sat on the patio of the family home with the river at her back. “I saw the parade today and it looked awesome. Can’t believe my brother is such a cool hero to those people! But I am so proud and can’t wait to see you! Give me a text when you land. Love you.” With that, she blew a kiss at the camera and waved goodbye. Josh played message back again over and over again. The more she grew up, the more Sammy looked like his mother. Her bright green eyes, curly brown hair that hung down to the middle of her back, and the dimple that showed up when she smiled. All of it was like a misty memory playing in his mind.

The plane ride was smooth and landed sooner than he wanted. As the plane taxied to the private hanger where his rental car was waiting, he grabbed his bags and stuffed his phone in his pocket. He would see his little sister soon enough and that would make it better.

After the plane came to a stop, he stepped down to the asphalt. He was met by a customs officer who quickly looked over his passport and customs forms before congratulating him on the win and wished him a good visit. He thanked him and got in the SUV that was waiting for him. He started it up, texted Sammy he had landed, and headed out towards the road leading away from the airport.

And that was it. He had no more commitments that he could place in front of this anymore. No practices or games or sponsorship events. All he had now was his promise to Sammy and an hour's drive ahead of him. He had to just get on with it.

The drive to the house on the river was etched on his brain. He didn’t need to think about what roads to take. As a kid, he had driven, or been driven down, these highways so he could play games and make his dreams come true. His father had been the usual one to go but his mom had made many trips with them. And Sammy had to, always with the promise of Cracker Jacks when they got to the arena.

As he got closer, he saw the remnants of his childhood fluttering past him. The coffee shop where he had hung out with friends. The chinese place where his parents had ordered dinner for special occasions. Even his grandmother’s house before she had died. He passed through the small town of Prescott in just a few minutes before traveling along the last bit of the drive along the river and slowing down to pull into the long driveway. He had thought about going to the rental first but figured that he might just not leave it if he did.

His parent’s house was a spread out bungalow that sat on a hill overlooking the St. Lawrence River. Red brick covered the facade and the beds were in full bloom. What he assumed was Samantha’s car was sitting in the circular drive, and he parked behind it. As he set the car in park and turned the car off, the silence of it hit him hard. After having been surrounded by celebration for the last 48 hours, it hit him like a fly swatter against his skin.

He had spent 18 years here with his family. His mom and dad had loved and encouraged both of their children. When he had left for the University of Michigan, he thought he would come home for holidays and summers just like classmates. But in October of his first year, he had received the call that his parents had died in a car crash. He had come home to a different house. His Aunt Barbara and Uncle Richard, his father’s aunt and uncle, had already moved in and taken over their room. The decision had been made to make the transition easier for Sammy. The pair didn’t have any children and had recently retired. After the funeral, Josh had taken the next flight back to Michigan and only returned for Sammy’s graduation.

The house looked the same as it always had. Aunt Barbara and Uncle Richard had moved to Florida once Sammy had gone to university. They hadn’t remained close to their charges, only making sure that Sammy’s first year of university was paid for. Josh had paid the rest. They had passed away over the last few years and Josh hadn’t felt anything about it.

He stepped out of the car and smelled the smell of home. He had paid a property company to maintain the property since Sammy had gone to school, and she had spent summers there. He saw the twitch of a curtain and a wisp of chocolate hair in the window before the door beside it flew open and Sammy came running towards him. Before he could brace himself for it, she jumped into his arms and slammed into his chest. She was tiny and his tuned muscles easily held her up. She wrapped her arms like cobras around his chest, and he felt the squeeze of missed time being communicated through it. He had visited her in Toronto a few times, and she had come down to Nashville but with his schedule and her dedication to getting her law degree as soon as possible, it didn’t make time for them to share the same space much.

“Hey Sammy,” Josh said as she continued to hold him tightly. He was able to get her down on the tiptoes of her feet. She was only 5 feet 4 inches to his 6 feet 2 inches so her head came to below his shoulder. “I’m glad for the happy reception but you need to let me breathe if you want me to help you with all of this.”

Sammy chuckled against his chest but pulled back and smiled happily at him. The two had been close because of their parent’s death even if they didn’t spend a lot of time together. She always spoke with pride about what her brother had accomplished on the ice, and he beamed with glee when he talked about how Sammy had worked to graduate law school and pass the bar earlier than most.

“I can’t believe I’m talking to a Stanley Cup champion,” she said as she playfully punched his arm. “Seriously Josh, I know how long you worked for this and it is so cool that you got there. When do you get to bring that cup for me to haul around.”

Josh laughed. The tradition of taking the Stanley Cup by each member of the team was storied and one everyone looked forward to. For him, he had had his moment on the ice. He didn’t need to cart the thing around behind him.

“I told the team everyone else should have their chance first. When they do, I’ll take mine.” Probably not but whatever.

Sammy crossed her arms across her chest and screwed her eyebrows together. “You are the captain. You should taken it first.”

“Yes, I am the captain. And that is exactly why I am not taking it first.” Josh turned Sammy back towards the house and started walking with her. “You can see it when you come to visit me in Nashville this summer. Because you are still coming for a visit even if you are a working stiff now.”

“Of course I’m coming for a visit. I need to be fawned on by all of your teammates.” She winked at him with that statement, knowing just how much it bothered him how much attention was paid to her by his teammates. She was a pretty and petite girl and a natural flirt who could take care of herself when she needed to. That didn’t mean that Josh didn’t warn everyone to be on their best behavior when she came to stay with him. “I planned on being down for the home opener actually if that’s okay.”

Josh smiled. “I was hoping so. It will be pretty cool with the Stanley Cup stuff going on.”

The two reached the front door and Josh felt his hesitation as Sammy reached towards the door. She felt it too knowing that this would be the first time he was stepping in the house since he had left after her graduation. It was a vault of memories that he had been able to stay away from for all of those years.

But she wasn’t going to let him stop at the door. She twisted the nob and pulled him inside with her. Josh forced himself to move his feet and step inside what was the living room.

The house hit him like a tsunami wave. Nothing had changed since the day his parents had stepped out on their last drive. The dark green couch sat in front of the window. The chocolate brown lazy boy where his dad would hold court when they had company sat in front of the fireplace. The large painting of one of the islands that sat in the river sitting above the fireplace. All of it snapped his brain a little bit. For Sammy, the jarring sensation would be long gone but for Josh, it was immediate and physically painful.

“I’ve stocked up the freezer with your favorites,” Sammy said as he made her way through the living room and into the open-plan kitchen. “Diet Coke, Doritos’s chips, and the one and only chocolate sandwich cookies. All here for your convenient enjoyment.”

“You make me sound like I am trying to be diabetic. This body is a well-honed machine created through months of dedicated workouts and a strict diet. Are you trying to derail all of that time and effort with pop, chips, and cookies?”

Sammy pulled out a bottle of water for herself. “No, but I do know that fine athletic specimen of a body likes to get downright nasty with some junk food at the end of the season and I am happy to help provide it.” She pulled out a pack of cookies, opened them, and slid them towards Josh. “Now, try and not take one.”

Josh growled softly and reached for a cookie. As he slipped the chocolate disc past his mouth, he couldn’t stop himself from letting out a contented sigh.

“Damn, I hate how well you know me,” Josh said as he took one more sinful cookie and slid the pack back towards Sammy. “Seriously, you know I am so proud of you for graduating and passing the bar. And I am more than happy to help you buy a house in Toronto without having to sell this one. Consider it a congratulatory present. And you can pay me back if it means that much to you.”

Sammy shook her head and came towards him, resting her hand on his.

“Not this time Josh,” she said with a soft voice. This was the tone that told him her serious side was kicking in and there would be no changing what she had decided. “You have helped me so much and I appreciate all of it. But it’s time I stood on my own. And we both know it’s time to sell this house. Maybe I’ll buy a cottage in a few years but this space has had its time for me. And it needs to have it’s time for you.”

Tears pricked Josh’s eyes but he forced himself not to let them spill. He didn’t want Sammy to see him upset but she was right. He had to put this in his past and now was as good a time as any. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her small frame. He felt a slight wet spot on his shirt but didn’t acknowledge it since he knew Sammy wouldn’t want him to.

“Thanks, sis,” he said as he kissed her temple. “You grew up to be quite an amazing person, you know that right?”

“Of course I did.” She pulled herself away and smiled at him again, the softness of the moment passing. “You had a lot to do with that. You're complimenting yourself really.”

Josh shook his head but didn’t contradict her. She was truly his proudest accomplishment. But a topic change was needed.

So, Josh asked Sammy about her new job. She excitedly told him about the interview, again, and the fancy office building she would be working in, again, and where she was going to be looking for a new place, again. But he didn’t care. Over chips, cookies, and sodas, he listened to it all. The kitchen started to get dark and the sun was setting on the river that the house sat on. His parents had built the house it shortly after they got married. It took advantage of a raised position on the river with the United States just on the other side. As a kid, he had loved sitting on the patio and watching the boats travel up and down. One of the few things he acknowledged missing.

Eventually, tiredness began to overtake him. The last few weeks had been intense and his body was starting to shut down on him. A yawn ripped through him even as he tried to stifle it.

“Hey Josh, I’m sorry. You look exhausted.” Sammy came and stood beside him. “Why don’t you crash here tonight? I know you have the rental place but it might not be safe for you to drive.”

Josh appreciated the offer but Sammy knew he wouldn’t take it. Sleeping here was not in his emotional capability yet. So he stretched his arms over his head and pushed his tiredness out of his body.

“Thanks but I’m going to head there. It’s only a 15 minute drive so it’ll be fine.”

Sammy wanted to visibly say something, but she held it in. Just like she could be set in her decisions, so was Josh and this was a fight she was never going to win.

“Okay, just text me when you get there.”

The siblings hugged each other one more time, making a plan to meet with the real estate agent the next day to talk about the sale of the house. And then Josh was out. And as he drove back to the highway that would take him back through Prescott and to his rental, he only made it a few miles before he had to pull over and let his chest expand for the first time since he had driven down that driveway. He forced breath back into his chest and out through his nose for a few minutes before he was able to feel under control again. After taking his moment, he pulled back on the road and headed to the rental.

The rental was a short drive away but importantly it was on the other side of Prescott from the family home. He had made the arrangements all through his agent so the owner had no idea who he had rented it to. It was a simple two-bedroom cottage with a kitchen, living room, and deck looking out on the same river his parent’s house did. The key was where the owner had said it would be and Josh tiredly pulled his bags out of the car and took them inside. A quick text to Sammy telling her he had arrived safely before he set his bags haphazardly down on the tile entryway. The decoration was typical cottage but Josh felt at home in it. He had spent many weekends as a teenager at friend’s places just like it.

He set his bags down and saw a note from the owner letting him know the details and policies of the place. All the usual things. Beside it though was another note. He recognized the handwriting as Samantha’s. He opened up the folded paper.

“Josh,

I know you don’t want to do this but I am glad you are here to do it with me. This isn’t easy for me either. But I hope that you can get some moment of peace while you are here. A moment where you feel the pride Mom and Dad feel inside of you. It’s nearly as much as I feel as I watched you lift that cup above your head. I look forward to spending time with you big brother.

Love;

Sammy”

Josh put the paper down, letting his fingers run over the writing as he did. That girl amazed him every day. He didn’t deserve to be put on the pedestal he was on with her. And he hoped he didn’t ever fall off.