Carnie Love

Willow had made it through her first four shows in Elgion without incident, but she was relieved to have her three days of rest. Even if that meant Nikolai making her practice. She had to spend several hours every morning practicing the songs he chose for her, even though she knew that she had them as close to perfect as they could ever be and he only put her through this so he could keep an eye on her. And make sure she wasn’t with Damon.

Nikolai probably wouldn’t like it if he knew that Willow was usually thinking about Damon anyway when she practiced. He had been on her mind a lot for a long time, and not just because she was now worried about him because of the news about his father.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Nikolai finally said, and Willow resisted a sign of relief. Nikolai had been very insistent on perfecting her posture and now Willow rarely did anything that caused her shoulders to droop or slump. Nikolai brushed her hair off of her shoulder and she tried not to flinch.

“You’ve done well so far,” he said. “You were born to be admired.”

Willow felt self-conscious when she was looked at, so she disagreed but she said nothing. She stepped out of his reach.

“I think I’m going to have some tea now,” she said. “I want to make sure that my voice isn’t strained when I have to perform again.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll have more chamomile and honey sent up to your room on my way out. You should stay here and rest. I want you refreshed when you take the stage again.”

Willow had no intention of staying cooped up just because Nikolai didn’t want to share her attention. But she did stay in her room sipping warm tea until Damon appeared at her window.

“Tough practice?” he asked, noticing the tea tray and jar of honey on her night table.

“Four hours,” Willow shrugged. “Pretty standard.”

Damon glanced around, finding that her room was indeed full of flower vases now. He rolled his eyes.

“Are you ready to get out of here for a while?” he asked.

She nodded and gave him a grateful smile. It made it easier to deal with the shows and the attention when she could occasionally sneak some time with Damon. She wore one of her normal dresses and left her hair down and she didn’t have glitter poking her in the eye. If it weren’t for the fact that she had to sneak out the window and scale a trellis to get out of her room unnoticed, it would almost feel like everything was how it used to be.

They went to the carnival first, so Willow could see Gramps. Nikolai did his best to keep her isolated from anyone she cared about, and she only typically obeyed because she didn’t want him inflicting his wrath on the carnies. He needed Willow, but he had reminded her more than once that carnies were replaceable.

Willow ducked into Gramps’s wagon, finding him sitting on the bed. He really did look frail and tired, which made her heart sink. But he got a big smile on his face when he saw her.

“Willow,” he said brightly.

“Hi, Gramps.” Willow leaned over to kiss his cheek before sitting next to him.

“Did you get taller?” Gramps asked.

“Barely,” Damon answered and winked when Willow shot him a look of mock annoyance.

“Did you get the doll?” Gramps said hopefully.

“Yes, Damon gave her to me. I wanted to say thank you. She’s very beautiful.”

“I thought she looked like you but you’re much prettier,” Gramps chuckled. Willow blushed but she smiled.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve visited,” she said. “I’ve had to work a lot.”

“Right, that man wouldn’t let you be a carnie anymore,” Gramps said, seeming to have a moment of clarity. He always called Nikolai, “that man” if he had to talk about him. Willow nodded.

“He made me a performer,” she said.

“Is that you I hear singing sometimes?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Gramps patted her hand. “Such a good girl, our Willow. Damon still looks out for you, does he?”

“Always,” Willow said, glancing over at Damon almost shyly. She sat with Gramps for a while, holding his hand and laughing at his terrible jokes. When it became clear that his energy was flagging, she gently made him lay down and then she covered him with the blankets and kissed his forehead. He was practically asleep already.

“Sweet dreams, Gramps,” Willow said softly. Once she was sure he was comfortably asleep, she and Damon slipped quietly out of the wagon. They walked next to each other in silence for a few moments, and then Willow hugged Damon tightly, making him let out a surprised “oomph.”

“To what do I owe the spine crusher?” he asked.

“Thank you for bringing me to see him. And for sneaking me out.”

Damon cracked a smile and gently tugged on one of her loose curls. “You’re welcome. But I’m not done yet. I told you we were going to do fun stuff. It’s not super late this time, so we have some time to explore.”

Willow flashed him an amused smile. “Well let’s go then.”

They walked out of the Carnival of Wonder and wandered their way through the rest of the entertainment district, dodging jugglers and street dancers. They tried some blackberry wine that made Willow choke a little when she sipped it but also made her head feel a little buzzy. She almost got trampled by a guy on stilts and Damon rescued her, catching her waist and spinning her to safety. Willow laughed, brushing hair out of her face.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Maybe we should go somewhere that’s stilt-free,” he teased. “It’s not safe for you here.”

Willow laughed again and nudged him. They ended up passing by the park that was next to the entertainment district and found a comfortable spot to sit and people watch. Damon disappeared back into the crowd for a few minutes and Willow sprawled out happily on the grass. When Damon returned, he handed her a caramel apple and she grinned up at him.

“I haven’t had one of these in ages,” she said, taking a bite and savoring the sticky caramel. Damon chuckled and flopped down next to her.

“I remember how fascinated you were the first time you had one,” he said, leaning back on his elbows. “The thing was almost as big as your head but when Molly worried that you wouldn’t be able to finish it you got this offended look on your face and took the most determined bites I’ve ever seen anyone take.”

“You remember that?” Willow looked at him, amused.

“I think everyone remembers that,” he laughed. “I doubt anyone has ever seen someone get so passionate about finishing a caramel apple.”

“But I did finish it,” Willow said.

“And you got a stomach ache for your troubles,” he pointed out.

“And you snuck me one of the game prizes,” Willow said, smiling slightly. “It was a stuffed bunny.”

She finished her apple, remembering how Damon had handed her the stuffed animal and said it was a special bunny that would help her feel better, and that’s why it had been one of the prizes.

“The magic bunny,” Damon said, as if he knew what she was thinking about. He cracked a smile.

“You deserved it more than someone who managed to knock over some milk bottles,” he said. “What with your valiant defeat of the giant caramel apple.”

He reached over and brushed a smudge of caramel off her face. Willow felt her cheeks turn pink and she found herself just looking at him for a moment. He arched an eyebrow.

“Something on your mind?” he asked. Willow was feeling light and fuzzy from her two sips of wine and the nice evening, and she didn’t stop to think before she leaned forward slightly and kissed him. Damon tensed and she suddenly realized what she was doing. Willow quickly flinched back like she’d been burned, her face going bright red.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaked, scooting away from him. He had a completely dumbfounded look on his face.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Willow stammered. “Please don’t be mad at me. We can just pretend this never happened. I know that you don’t have…that I’m not…I’m sorry,” she said again. “I should go.”

She scrambled to her feet and Damon seemed to shake off his shock a little bit, trying to get up.

“Willow—wait!” he called but Willow was already scurrying away like a scared rabbit. She’d always been quick and good at weaving through crowds. She hurried away from the park and dodged around a couple trying to wrangle their five kids. She hurried back to the inn, almost falling off the trellis twice because she was so distracted. She finally made it inside and just stood there for a few moments.

“Idiot,” she muttered. “You’ve hidden your feelings this long, what was so hard about doing it for the rest of your life?”

She sat down hard on the edge of her bed and felt like she might cry. She’d been fifteen when she realized she had a crush on Damon, and instead of going away the feelings had just intensified over the past few years. She’d done her best to hide it so she didn’t embarrass them both. Damon had been her best friend for so long, and now she’d ruined it by making things weird.