Human Nature

Ding--Ding---Ding. I heard the doorbell. It was six in the god damn morning on a god damn Saturday! I unglued myself from the couch I had accidentally crashed on and went to open the door. I peered out, getting ready to yell at an insane telemarketer when I saw two police officers at the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?" I asked putting on a good girl face lest I get arrested.

"Um, yes, hello Ms. Howell, may we come in?" The taller of the two officers asked, his deep brown eyes uneasy.

"Can I see your badge?" I asked coolly. My dad was a cop, I knew the drill. The man looked surprised but pulled it out anyway. M. McCone the gold badge read. I opened the door a bit wider so they could walk in and then closed it. I leaned against the kitchen counter with my arms crossed, a little bit embarrassed about my p.j.'s. Maybe my brother was right and it was time for a change. Oh god. Jasper. The color drained from my face. The police officer took off his hat and bent his head to look at me; he was trying to look compassionate as he uttered the same words I had heard four years ago.

Four years ago when my parents died.

"Ma'am your brother’s been in an accident. His plane went down on the way to Minneapolis. I’m sorry, he didn’t make it,” I felt my head spinning, the entire world losing focus for a second as I processed that information. Not Jasper, not Jasper, not Jasper. I put my shaking hands up to my face and felt myself slide down the wall into a sitting position. I ran my fingers through my hair and remembered the last things I had said to him, 'Make sure you bring me a present, or don’t come home’.

Don’t come home, don’t come home, don’t come home. I felt the tears running down my cheeks, stinging and burning as they went.

“Ma’am, there are a few things we need to give you, one of them we think he especially wanted you to have,” The officer pulled out a Ziploc bag and handed it to me. I took it from him and opened it with shaky hands. There was a gold box inside. I opened it carefully and pulled out a silver locket, with the pendant in the shape of a wing. Raven was etched into the silver wing in spidery cursive. I opened the locket and saw a picture of all of us. Mom, Dad, Me, and Jasper, a week before Mom and Dad died.

Now the tears were really falling.

The other policeman that had been quiet all this time knelt down and wrapped his arms around me. This was totally breaking procedure, and we all knew it, but no one, not even the more experienced police officer, told him to stop. I sobbed into his shoulder until I the world around me faded, with the locket grasped in my clenched fist.