True Confessions

Jake stood shivering, his gloved hands tucked in his pockets. I waited for the bus, my breath puffing out in front of me in whispy clouds.

"What's up?" Luke jogged up beside us, curious to what I was thinking. I wanted to rip his head off, but my sleepless arms wouldn't allow it and I wasn't going to give that much to him anyway. He didn't deserve the attention it would take to rip his head off.

"Nothing."

My lips were even angry at him. Who knew that was possible?

Not I, for certain. However I am kind of glad they are. I want the words to say right now, but I can't form them.

I want some poison to slip in his lips, to make him curl and shiver in desperate pain, but I want him to live.

Again with the dramatics! I'm sorry...

"Are you sure? You seem kinda upset..."

"No."

fake smiles always find their way to my thin lips at the best times... Mainly when I hope they won't, but only because I'm being stubborn. I get that from my dad, he has such a determination for things. He's stubborn to the point of madness, I swear.

I hate this.

The awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The oblivious smile that's sickly placed on his perfect lips...

Oh God, how I wish this was all easier.

I want to be more attractive, more perfect. I'm disgusted with the whole "friend" routine. it's getting on my nerves.

Maybe it's the wole part of me not having a life besides a retarded brother and one friend who doesn't understand what he does to me.

Maybe I should get a life.

And I should start today.

"I'm actually fine." I finished my sentence just as the bus pulled up at my feet, a hunk of yellow metal with menacing eyes of blinking gold and then a final red glare.

"Oh, okay."