The Pain I've Grown to Know

"So, you fucked her then? I can see the dirty look on your face, don't even deny it Baker. Hope it was good, coz it'll have been the last time you ever have been with her in that way."

Matt entered the apartment as Zack opened the door for his friend. Lea was in the bathroom having a shower, she didn't want to smell like sex when welcoming Matt at her place and even though she had urged Zack to do the same, he refused. She knew that he would try and rub it in, as soon as Matt would arrive. She just hoped that Matt would not take it too hard, as she wasn't planning on lying to him about it. The past relationship had started with lies, she wanted to keep this one clean, from the start.

"That it was. But we were interrupted by you calling, thought I'd have more time to dwell in memories. How was the flight?"

They sat down on the couch after Zacky had taken 2 beer bottles from the fridge, passing one of them over to Matt. He was surprised that Matt took the news of him having slept with Lea so easy. If it would have been him in the same situation, he would have punched him out and screamed at Lea for being a whore, sleeping around.

"As said Zack, we're not in an official relationship yet. And after her not having anything for over 2 years, the big love of her life and father of her son coming back...I bet you started it as well, not her. I just wanna make sure that it stays at once and doesn't continue. Where is she by the way?"

Just as he asked this, he heard a door open and light spill into the dark hallway. Lea emerged from the bathroom, still towel drying her hair. Both Zacky's and Matt's heads whipped around, looking in her direction. Matt got up and walked towards her, waiting for her to meet him half way. As she stopped in front of him, she looked up into his hazel eyes, a smile playing around his lips. He immediately engulfed her in a tight hug, pressing his face against the top of her damp hair. He didn't want to let her go, he wanted to be as close as this forever.

"Matt, I can't breath!"

She muttered, her face being pushed into his tight chest. He let go of her and laughed amused. He could see in her eyes, that she needed to tell him about Zack, but she seemed lost and unsure of what words to use.

"It's OK, I know. We're not even a couple yet, and I know that Zack's charm can work wonders on the ladies. Don't worry about it. I mean hey, he let me in on a threesome 2 1/2 years ago! I can't really turn around now and say you were cheating on me when you and him got it on earlier."

Her face dropped, and she heard Zack snicker in the living room. She pulled Matt's head a bit down again, placing a smooth kiss on his lips.

"I don't care if you mind or not, but I feel bad about it. My feelings just went completely...it was out of line and I knew I would regret it, therefore, I shouldn't have let it happen."

They joined Zack again and Matt pulled her straight down on his lap. He didn't care about the annoyed glances Zack was sending his way: Lea and him were in love and he had to make sure that Zack got that message!

"OK, before this silence is getting too uncomfortable and we are all in the same room, maybe we should talk about the near future. Lea-"

Zack turned his attention to her, able to see the deep satisfaction in her eyes, that she was so close to Matt. She used to look at him that way.

"- I know I have said it a million times now, over the phone and e-mail and in person again today, but maybe when Matt backs me up, you'll finally listen to me. Please, come back to Huntington. You and Matt can play happy couple, and Zion would be close to me. I know you have a life here and all, but...I thought that if you were thinking of doing it some time down the line, it might be a good idea that he grows up there, and starts kindergarten and school there, so that he doesn't have to be ripped out of any sorts of friendships he might build here. I know you have friends here that helped you through a bad patch, but we're friends, too, and the other guys and Lea and my parents...we'd love you to come back."

He knew that Matt would support him, but he wasn't sure if he would do it straight away. But just as he had hoped, Matt's face brightened up and he tilted his head, trying to look at the woman on his lap better.

"He's right you know? Zion can grow up around his father and his grandparents, he'll get used to all of us, and you and me can be together, too. I mean, I would travel around the world to see you, but seen that we're away a lot and busy when at home...it would be so much easier! What you say babe?"

Lea looked from Zack to Matt and back again, before stealing the beer off Matt and drinking some. They were teaming up on her, and it wasn't fair! She already knew that she didn't want anything in this world more than waking up in Matt's arms every morning, watching his dimple filled smile, his hazel-green eyes....

"Mommy!"

the baby monitor blared up. She almost dropped the bottle, but Matt was able to grab it before it fell unto the floor pretty good reflexes! She jumped up from Matt's lap and rushed to Zion's room, re- appearing with him in her arms a minute later, pressing little kisses on top of her son's forehead. He was still rubbing his tired eyes, the dummy in his mouth. When she stopped between the two men, Zion turned his head, first looking to Matt and then to Zack. He pulled the dummy out between his lips with an audible slurp that made all of them smile, before stretching out his arms to his father.

"Daddy!"

Zack's smile became even wider, and he held out his arms, so that Lea was able to pass Zion on to him. Once Zack had cradled him in his tattoo covered arms, Zion put his head against his chest and looked calm and happy.

"I guess you three boys don't leave me any other option, huh? I am warning you though Sanders: if I ever hear you complain that you are sick of being woken up in the middle of the night...or you Zack, that he's ruining your chances with the ladies...I am gone!"

"Is that a yes?!"

Matt and Zack said at the same time, eyes widening, not able to believe that all it had taken was this little talk and a gesture of her son. She pulled her legs up onto the couch, hugging them and resting the side of her face on her knees.

"I can't have my son being pissed off with me because his dad isn't around when he wants to. And the past 3 months killed me, because I wanted to be with Matt and I couldn't. So I guess I'll just have to give in...don't I?"

Zack moved to her other side and both him and Matt hugged her, kissing her cheeks, and Zion joined them, swinging his little arms around the back of her neck and giggling, thinking it was funny what the two guys did.

"We can have you out there in no time sweetness, and we'll be of the road for at least 6 months now! You can settle in, Zion can settle in...and we all can be one happy family, as sick as that sounds!"

Matt exclaimed, turning her face a little so that he was able to claim her lips once more, smiling against her lips as he did so. He caught Zacky's glance again, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not, but the fact that he would at least have his son around, made him hope that the old rivalry would not bloom up again.

"Yeah, and I guess Leana and her daughter would be happy to have at least two sane people around them, seen that you and the other guys are completely insane! Fuck, I can't believe I am doing this! Sonny knew I would do this before I did!"