The Pain I've Grown to Know

Matt was parking the car in his drive way. he knew he might have been too drunk to drive, but there was no way he'd confess his 2 months romp with Ebs, and the other two nights in a sober state. Lea wasn't stupid, she had seen where the last night of him wanting "to talk" with Ebony had ended. He wasn't looking forward to this talk, and he wasn't sure if the stress she'd feel would be good for the baby, but it would have to be done, because her reaction to the facts would be far more drastic, if Zack or Jimmy would tell her. He knew she trusted him fully, it had to be him that told her.
He closed the front door behind him, just about to shout her name, as he heard her low voice from upstairs. He took the stairs in no time and stopped at the open door of their bedroom, the lights were on, but he couldn't see her. He turned around and saw light seep underneath the door of the room they had chosen as the baby's nursery. It was open only a little bit and he decided to walk in, as he heard her voice again.

"I know that. I just can't help but feel anxious."
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"You know damn well I didn't plan on any of this to happen!"
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"Shut up! You're sounding like I was the one dragging you into bed, when in fact it was you who made that decision for me after I told you...no, don't even go there, I told you I needed to be alone and talk to him before just believing her!"
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"If all of you knew, that he was fucking Ebony on tour and back here, why did I have to find out from her? I thought you were my friends, too! Or maybe you just knew that I'd be easy to get to bed, being all vulnerable? Fuck, once more you used me when I was the weakest!"
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"I don't care if he cheated first, this was a one-time-thing with you, and I happen to be pregnant. And if my maths are correct, it could be either his or yours, how the fuck do you think I gonna explain that to him, huh? You've seen him and how excited he is about this baby, he'd not only kill me, but he'd never trust me again, and there is no way he'll put up with 2 kids under his roof, that are not his! Maybe it would have been better if I had miscarried 3 months ago, at least I wouldn't be living this lie right now that makes me wish I'd be dead."
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"Yes, the results are due back tomorrow. But either way, I will tell him, there is no way I carry this around with me, I feel like shit! You know I hate cheaters, and I hate myself ever since that night."
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"Are you crazy? If it's yours there is no way I'd let you be here when I tell him, otherwise they'd need two body bags to carry us out of here. Lets just hope for the best, because I certainly wouldn't want you to be the father of this child...I love Matt! He deserves this, I deserve this. Hell, I wanna grow old with him, but if it is not his...there is no way I can stay with him, I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes anymore. Listen, I gotta go, I promised I make dinner. Talk to you tomorrow!"

Matt was standing in the door, looking at his girlfriend's back. He slightly shook his head, not sure if he had just heard the conversation he thought he did. He saw her push her phone into her pocket, before she let her head drop into her hands and started crying, shaking incontrollable.
As shook up as he was, he couldn't take her crying and walked in, hugging her from behind as he knelled behind her, his hands lying on her belly. He could feel the shock run through her body as he touched her.

"Matt! When did you..."

He cut her off, kissing the side of her neck and placing his hand on her lips. Inhaling her sweet scent, he cradled her against his chest.

"I think we both need to talk. Come on."

He helped her up, seen that her belly was making this simple movement hard for her. Without any further words, he dragged her down the stairs and out onto the patio. She was still sobbing, as he sat down on the edge of his pool, pulling her down to sit next to him. He wasn't sure what to say, but he needed to try and calm down, so he would start with one of the first things he had heard as he had been eavesdropping.

"What did Ebony say to you...and when?"

He looked into her dark eyes, his thumb wiping away some stray tears.

"She came over here about 3 weeks after I had moved here, when you were over at your parent's place. Guess she was surprised to see me, because when I opened the door she pried open a coat and was only in bra and panties underneath, and her face dropped upon seeing me. She flipped out, screaming at me that she had wasted months on you - again- just for you to throw her away for me - again. I had no idea what she meant, so she shoved after, that she hoped the sheets had been changed, because she had fucked you twice after you had come back from Florida, and that you have screwed her every night for 2 months on tour."

She turned away and another fit of tears came over her. Matt cradled her against his chest again, trying to calm her down. He couldn't believe that she had hidden the fact that she knew about his infidelity for so long and had not mentioned it, had still been as loving as before.

"So...you called Zack and he came over and used your position and dragged you into bed? And now your not sure if it's his or mine? Do I get this right?"

The second he said this, he knew that something was off. Zack had told him not 2 hours ago, that Lea needed to know about him and Ebony...why would he blackmail Matt if he knew that Lea knew already? Zack was passionate about Lea, and even if he was still pissed that she was not with,...there was no way he would want to hurt Matt this bad. A look back up into Lea's face confirmed his thoughts: she was biting the corner of her bottom lip, another tear falling from her already puffy eyes.

"It wasn't Zack...was it? But...who else do you know in Huntington Beach that you would confide in? Jimmy is with Leana and there is no way you two would get it on. Johnny was never close to you and Syn-"

"I am so sorry Matt! He came over that afternoon to drop some shit you had asked for, and he saw me all fluttered and angry and sad...!"

Matt's heart stopped, his breath caught in his throat. He was frozen for a few seconds as it dawned on him, that once more, the infamous Synyster Gates had fucked a girl that was going out with one of his close friends. Once more, her being in no condition to really oppose.
He looked at her torn face, knowing that all of this was killing her: knowing that he had cheated on her once more- or actually twice, that she in turn had slept with someone and now wasn't sure if the baby was Matt's. He had heard her say that she hated herself for sleeping with Brian, even that she wished she had miscarried because she didn't want to carry Brian's offspring.
He pulled her closer, pulling her into a tight hug, showering her with kisses on top of her head, not wanting to let her go, trying to control the growing rage inside him. As he felt her relax, her sobbing slowly dying down, he stroke the small of her back.

"I love you Lea, that is all you need to know. And I guess, after my cheating, I had it coming. I can tell that you love me, seen that you didn't mention Ebony's scene once, you wanting to keep the peace, and that makes me feel even more terrible having cheated on you. However...Brian got away with doing this shit too lightly once before. Zack and him are close as shit. But I am not Zack, and him screwing my girl while she's down...is not something that I'll forgive. This kid is mine! As you told him on the phone: the two of us deserve it, and I am not letting this bastard fuck things up between you and me, like he has almost 3 years ago with Baker and you. This motherfucker is gonna pay for screwing my girl, like it or not!"

He pulled her up, pulling her towards him, looking down at her before sealing her trembling lips with his own.
She could feel the love he had, and that he wasn't lying when he said that he loved her, no matter what. But the last sentence scared her. If he'd meet with Brian, in the state he was in, he would probably end up killing him.

He ended the kiss, looking down at her. Although his eyes were full of passion and love, his hard words that he spoke as he freed himself of her struck her, and she knew that there was no way stopping whatever he held in stock for Brian.

"If I don't come back tonight, either call the hospitals or wait until Baker or Jimmy bail me out of the police station in the morning. I love you Lea, but this is something personal between him and me."

He strode off, after dropping another kiss on her forehead. He grabbed the keys to his truck and slammed the front door behind him. Even if he'd end up in a cell over night, this needed to be done, the anger inside him was making him a raging bull, and even Lea's begging to keep the peace wouldn't be able to hold him back. She must have felt this, as she had remained dead silence as he left her standing in the backyard.
He remained in the parked car for a minute or two, trying to figure out what exactly to do. It was a Friday night, Brian would most likely be at Johnny's, trying to get laid. The car park in the back or the beach would be the best place for what Matt had planned. He didn't want to risk to get barred from Johnny's, so he did have to take it out somewhere.
He flipped his phone open, dialing his buddy Dan's number, knowing he'd be at Johnny's too at this time of the evening, whoring around.

"Yo Dan, Shads here. Is Brian with you? OK, I'll see you in a bit."

It was a short call, but Dan saying that Brian was there, was all he needed to know. He turned the key in the ignition, not reversing yet, but dialing Zack's number instead. It took his friend a while to pick up, and Matt grew impatient.

"What up Shads?"

Zack answered his phone after the 6th ring.

"I need to take care of some business, and I think you and Jimmy should be there, if you'll help me or not is up to you. Call Jimmy, even Johnny if you want."

He could practically see Zack furrow his brows.

"Would you please explain what-"

"Brian fucked Lea, once more her being in a condition she couldn't really tell him off and the baby may be his. Get your lazy ass to Johnny's, so that I have some back up in case the police hauls my ass away and I need someone to stay with Lea over night!"

Zack didn't need more and ended the call immediately after Matt had finished. Finally shoving the cell back in his jeans, he reversed the car and sped off towards Johnny's Bar.