It all started with Earl Gray

“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” I said tugging on my hair. I have gone up to hundreds of people before and had no problem talking to them; so why was this so hard? Because I was… I looked up into the mirror; into my own eyes and made a confession. It was true. I was in love with the man a man I didn’t even know. Well, I knew he read really amazing books, that he smoked Marlboro Lights and that he always drank tea, wore eyeliner, and smelled sweeter than anything I had ever known. I didn’t even know his name, yet every night I thought about him as I laid awake in bed; wishing it was him I held close instead of a pillow. Wishing that that it was his voice that woke me from my sleep in the morning and not my alarm clock…
I sighed and leaned in closer to my reflection murmuring aloud, “You are a love sick puppy.”
I thumbed the tea bags in my hand thinking to myself ‘I could do this. Just walk out, place the bags on his table, and say the barkeeper asked me to give these to you. Really, How hard is that?’ I looked at myself again. “Really hard.” I said aloud with a sigh, setting the bags down on the counter before turning the faucet on.
I splashed some water on my face, running my fingers through my hair; knocking my hat to the floor.
‘You can do this.’ I told myself. ‘You can.’ I bent over, picking up my hat and stuffed in into my coat. Then with one last look in the mirror, I grabbed the tea bags and curled my fingers around the doorknob. ‘Here goes nothing.’
Finally, after four pep talks with myself, I pushed the door open and stepped out into the bar. I turned the corner and froze in my tracks.
He was gone.
I squeezed the bags tight in my fist and felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. I gazed at the silver tea pot now empty and cold, the ashtray full of butts and… Wait… I stuffed the bags into my pocket and picked up the folded piece of paper with my name on it. I glanced around the room before carefully unfolding the paper as if it would crumble to dust in my hands before whispering the words out loud.
’My name is Ville.’
Once again I looked around the bar, noticing the barkeeper staring at me as he smiled, pointing to the front door.

“He just left. Maybe you can still catch him!” The man called.
I ran faster than I ever had before, yet it still left like a lifetime before I reached the door. I flung it open and rushed out into the damp night, spinning around; looking down the long, dark street. The rain was falling hard, but I thought I made out the shape of someone walking down the next block. It had to be him.
I pulled my hat from inside my coat and tugged it down tight around my ears, zipped my coat and took off at a fast pace in the direction of the form in front of me.
I could feel the rain sinking through my cap; drops started to fall from the ends of my hair. Lightening streaked across the sky like spider webs., casting an eerie glow around me and for a split second I could make out his long coat and silky hair that now fell straight against his shoulders.
Should I just call out his name or follow? I truly felt like a stalker at the moment.
Tucking my hands into my pockets I pulled my arms in tight to try and fight off some of the chill that was seeping into my bones and I picked up my pace.
Soon I could make out the sound of his feet hitting the wet sidewalk; I was closer now. ‘Just call his name.’
I kept my head down, keeping my chin tucked into my coat, trying to contain what little warmth I had inside. I had taken a few steps before I realized I didn’t hear his, so I stopped and looked up. What I saw had me weak in the knees.
*Ville’s POV*
I slumped back in my chair with my heart slowing and feeling pained. I thought for sure he was going to come talk to me. With a heavy sigh I closed my book and set it down on the table. I was so stupid to think he would have anything to do with me, he was way too perfect; out of my league. I looked to the bar to see the keeper looking back at me. Slowly he walked over, setting his towel on the table, and taking the seat I wished Bam was in.
He looked at me and shook his head. “I tried Ville.” he sighed, pausing. “I gave him the tea and told him to bring it to you. I guess he got scared.
I looked up at him. “Or maybe he really doesn’t like me.”
“No, Ville, I know he does.” The man smiled and pulled out his smoke before lighting it enjoying the first drag before speaking again.
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Vil, trust me. He just has cold feet.”
Slowly he took another drag and tapped the ash in the tray. “Would you like some tea while we wait for him to come out?”
I shook my head.” No thanks. Honestly I’ve had enough for tonight; my teeth are floating.”
”Maybe you should use the restroom.” He teased coyly, nudging his shoulder against mine.
I giggled, “What would he do if I just walked in there right now and whipped it out?” My face got hot as the images danced around in my head. “No way.” I said laughing. “I’m too shy for that; I think I’ll just head home.”
The bar keeper shrugged and killed his cigarette. “Let me call you a cab, it’s raining again.” and lowly walked behind the counter.
“No, that won’t be necessary; I feel like walking in the rain tonight.”
I pulled out my wallet and set a twenty dollar bill on the table before grabbing my smokes and tucking them into my pocket. I glanced back towards the bathroom.
’Please come out. Please?’
Turning, I slowly walked through the bar before stopping at his stool and smiling “I’ll be back next Friday Bam.” I whispered, heading for the door.
I paused, hand resting on the handle and looked back. A smile lit my face and I quickly walked to the counter.
“Decided you want more tea?” The keeper asked, smiling, wiping out a cup..
”No, no...” I said, “But would you happen to have a pen and paper I can use?”
The man raised his eyebrow and handed me what I asked for. “Going to give him your number, huh?”
“No, just my name.” I smiled, jotting down four words and folding the paper; writing his name across it.. I walked back to my table and placed the note there. Now he would know my name as well.
I turned to the bar keeper, “Can you make sure he gets this?”
“Sure thing Ville.” He replied.
“Thank you.” I nodded and left the bar.
I tucked my coat in around me as the rain fell and headed home. And oh how I wished he was coming with me…