Still Not Getting Any...

I don’t wanna wake up today
‘Cuz every day’s the same
And I’ve been waiting so long
For things to change

He opened his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms. He sat on his bed and looked around. Empty bottles of alcohol and pills on the floor adorned the room.

A sound on the other side of his bed alarmed him. A young boy was sleeping there. In his bed. At least it wasn’t a woman, women could get pregnant. Men couldn’t. That’s why he always preferred men.

He decided to let him sleep a bit more, till he had finished his shower. ‘Another wasted day’ he thought while he took off his shirt.

Every day was the same. He would open his eyes, yawned, stretched his arms and found himself waking up in a mess with a strange person next to him.

Then he’d take a shower, and make the other person go out of his house. He didn’t care about the mess, because next morning it was gonna be the same, so he rarely cleaned it up. He’d eat the first thing he found in his kitchen, go out for a drink, and maybe, if he was lucky, he’d found a bit of cocaine too.

His life was about that. Sleeping, sex, drugs and alcohol.

He always went to the same bars, the same streets, he talked to the same people. He had almost forgotten his old friends, the members of his band. The band he destroyed due to the drugs and alcohol. Because he was so wasted he couldn’t take it anymore.

And he was getting really sick of everything. He kinda missed the time when he was in the band, with his brother and friends.

I’m sick of this town, sick of my job
Sick of my friends cause everyone’s jaded
Sick of this place. I wanna break free
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump

He didn’t properly work. He only looked for some job when he needed money to buy his shit. That shit that made him a zombie more than a human being. That shit that was making him waste his life.

He waned to change.
He wanted to do new things.
To smile again.
To be happy.
Even if it was only for one day, he wanted to be happy again.

Don’t wanna think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump

But could he change his life again? Would he have another chance? Or it was too late?

He didn’t know but he had to, at least, try it. And he knew who he had to talk with. Mikey. His brother would help him if there was some hope left for him. And he didn’t want to change his life without Mikey. He had always been there for him, how could he forget him?

He took his phone and dialed Mikey’s phone number. It took a bit for his brother to answer the phone.

“Hello?” Said the voice on the other side.

“Hi Mikes, it’s me, Gerard” He said, trying to sound sure.

“Gee?! Man! How are you? I haven’t heard about you for ages!” His brother said happily.

“Yeah I know. I’m sorry for not calling you before” He meant that. He really missed his brother.

“Nah, don’t worry. So what’s up? Why are you calling me so suddenly?” He asked.

“Listen Mikes, if you aren’t very busy right now, would you like to meet me at some café and talk a bit? I really need to talk to you”

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything right now, where do you wanna meet?”

“I dunno, it’s okay the café next to our parents’ house? Do you remember where it is?”

“Yeah, we used to meet there. Okay, see ya there in… thirty minutes?”

“Yeah, that’s okay. See you”

“See you” And the call was ended.

I don’t wanna wake up one day
And find out it’s too late
To do all the things I wanna do
So I’m gonna pack up my bags
I’m never coming back
‘Cuz the years are passing by
And I’m wasting all my time

After the shower he went back to his room. The boy was still sleeping. He sighed and with only a towel on his waist, he went to wake up the strange boy.

He shook him a bit and the boy opened his blue eyes.

“Good morning sweetie” Said the man in his bed, blowing a kiss.

“Listen I’m not gonna be nice with you and make you breakfast and that shit. So, get dressed and go out of my house now”

“Okay! I understood! You don’t need to be so rude” The boy got up and slowly got dressed, finally, he left the house.

Gerard sighed. He was tired of that shit.

I’m sick of this house, sick of being broke
Sick of this town that’s bringing me down
I’m sick of this place, I wanna break free
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump

When he was ready, he took his keys and drove as well as he could with his headache till the café where he was supposed to meet Mikey. He didn’t have any aspirins at home. That’s why he still had the headache.

His wrists hurt while he drove. The new cuts he had done a few hours ago were still open, and they hurt as hell. But it was fine, it made him forget about the pain that was being caused by that life.

He was really tired of his life. But he wasn’t capable of ending it. At least, not yet. For once in six months he was doing something different. He was meeting his brother, who he hadn’t seen for six months. And it felt fucking good.

He really needed a huge change in his life. He couldn’t take it anymore, seeing how people were passing by without caring if they were wasting their lives. He hated wasting his life, and he was gonna stop it, he had to.

I can’t take it anymore

Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump

He finally arrived at the café and entered in it. He looked around, looking for his brother, the one who could help him.

He found Mikey sitting alone at a table, at the end of the local. A very little smile appeared in his lips when he saw him. He went straight there.

“Hi Mikes!” He said glancing at his brother.

“Hey Gee!” Said Mikey hugging him. “How are you? I missed you, dude!”

“I’ve missed you too Mikes” He said sitting in front of him. “I’ve been… fine I guess, what about you?” He asked. They kept talking about random stuff while they drank their coffees. Everything seemed normal, Gerard felt well for once. He didn’t feel so sad, he even laughed. He had missed that feeling.

“Gee?” Asked his brother after a while of silence. “What’s wrong?”

“What?” Asked confused.

“What’s wrong? Why did you call me? Why did you want to talk to me? I’m sure you didn’t want to meet just for talking about random stuff. You don’t look good Gee. What’s wrong?” Mikey wasn’t stupid. He knew that, and his brother was right. He didn’t want to meet just for talking about random stuff.

“I’m sorry Mikes. I just… I didn’t know how to begin.” He said lowering his face.

“Take your time. I’m here for you” He smiled again.

“Thanks” He sighed. “It’s just… Mikey, I’m tired of this life, I mean, I’m tired of doing always the same, waking up in a mess with a strange in my bed. Drinking till I’m so wasted that I can’t properly walk. Taking drugs till I can’t do anything by myself. I wanna change Mikey.” Tears were falling from his eyes. “I don’t know how, but I wanna change. I miss the band Mikes, I miss it a lot. And the guys… I miss them, Bob, Ray, Frank… You. I miss every one.” More tears falling. “Help me Mikey. Please, help me, tell me how I can change!” He said looking straight at Mikey’s eyes, who was looking at him astonished.

“Gerard… “ He whispered. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me you were so bad and depressed? You know I would had helped you”

“I know… I just… I was so afraid… I’m sorry Mikey, I’m really sorry” He was crying.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay. I’ll help you, but you have to promise me you’ll quit drinking and taking drugs. Will you?” He asked seriously.

Don’t wanna think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
It’s time to let them go
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna
Jump.

Gerard looked straight to his brothers eyes. He wanted to change. He wanted to go back to the band. He was really tired of that shit of life.

“I…” He began. “I will. I promise” He said firmly.

“It’ll be hard, you know that”

“Yeah, but I want to change. I want to go back to the band Mikey, I really want this.”

“Then let’s do it together.” And both smiled. “Do you want me to call the guys? We can meet and then help you all together.” Gerard nodded.

The next day he met the guys and explained what was going on. The guys smiled and hugged him. Saying words for trying to comfort him. He was not alone.

“You’re not alone in this Gerard” Said Bob.

“Yeah, he’s right. You should have told us before though” Continued Ray.

“Maybe, but we’re here for you. You know that, huh?” Gerard nodded and smiled to Frank, Bob and Ray.

It seemed that he still had another chance to change his life. And he was gonna take it. He was finally leaving that shitty life and starting a new one.

He was proud of himself.