Passion in My Eyes, Ice in My Veins

“Baby,” Matt said with a smile in his voice. His words were silk and luscious as they reached my ears.

“Hm?” I perked my head up since I was reading a book titled Twilight in my lap. It was a book about Vampires, and it was rather interesting. It was as if Matt was my own Edward.

“Guess what?” He whispered in my ear as he stood behind the couch and put his warm hands on my shoulders and began to massage them.

Instantly the book closed in my hands and I closed my eyes. It felt so good to have his hands on my skin. But it felt even better to relax since I had been so stressed lately. Elliot was in school and I had to try to stop and see Matt as much as I could on his tour and take Elliot to soccer, and whatnot. Being a Mother was hard work.

“Mm,” I smirked as he massaged deeper in my tense muscles, “what?” I asked quietly, rolling my eyes back.

Matt and I hadn’t been too intimate lately, so this was really nice. Matt was busy with recording for the new album that would drop in the fall of 2009. They were finishing up their tour with Buckcherry and I was running around trying to catch Elliot since he wanted to run on stage with his Father, or go outside when the guys would wrestle when they were drunk. Not that good of an environment to have a 4 year old around, but Matt wouldn’t party as much. He understood that he had to be responsible.

But he had freedom, also. He of course went out and partied it up when Elliot and I took a break from touring with them. The moment we stepped foot on the tour bus, he was a Father. Not a singer of a huge, amazing band. Not a druggie or beer drinker. A loving, caring, amazing father. And I loved that about him. So much.

“Tomorrow is our anniversary,” he whispered in my ear and bit at my lobe gently, making my insides scream and my mind spasm. He had no idea what he did to me.

“Yes it is.” I nodded in agreement, soaking up the moment. His warm breath upon my neck drove me crazy. I got butterflies in my stomach and I inhaled his scent.

“And I was thinking…” he kissed the side of my neck, still massaging my shoulders.
“Yes?” I begged for him to go on, half moaning. I was weak for him, what could I say?

“I was thinking, we could give Elliot to my parents, and we’d take a trip…” he trailed off again as he kissed my jaw line, making my body shiver.

“Trip to where?” I finally gained my composure and turned my body to look at him. He was smirking. The slight indent in his cheek made me melt for him more.

“Well, it’s Fall. So somewhere where it is beautiful.” he smiled at me as he walked around the couch and sat next to me.

I practically jumped in to his lap. I just wanted to be as close to him as I could. And I couldn’t stop myself. It sort of just happened. But I didn’t mind my action whatsoever.

“Well it would have to be in the country, right?” I asked as I kissed his cheek. It was my turn.

“Yeah,” he sighed a little, “I’m sorry baby.”

I laughed against his skin. “Baby, I don’t mind. I don’t care where it is. Just as long as I’m with you,” a smirk crawled onto my lips, “alone.” I added.

He let out a tiny moan, his eyes closed. I was getting to him just like he had been getting to me. “That sounds good to me.”

“Good.” I laughed and pulled away from his neck and looked at him. “Ya really don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t, do I?” He laughed, and those dimples in his cheeks appeared. I wanted to melt into his arms right then, but I couldn’t. One, It’d be a little embarrassing. Two, it’d be slightly messy…

“Nope.” I shook my head with a giggle and crossed my arms under my breasts.

“Ya sure about that?” His lips curled into a smirk, a sexy, irresistible smirk. Another dreamy sigh.

“Yes.” I nodded vigorously. “You have no choice.” I smirked back.

All of a sudden, Matt’s fingers found their way to my sides and started tickling me. “MATT!” I shouted and fell back onto the couch, trying to pry his hands off.

“Hm?” He smirked, looking down at me as he continued to tickle me up and down my sides. He knew that was my most ticklish spot. Damn him.

“Stop!” I laughed as I squirmed under him, trying to get away. My eyes started to water since I was laughing so hard.

“Why?” The smirk was still plastered on his face, and showed no sign of leaving until he was done.

“Cause!” I giggled and grabbed his hands once more, trying to pull them away from my shaking body.

“What will you give me if I stop?” He looked into my eyes.

“Matthew Sanders!” I choked out of my laughter. “I will not give you anything!” I gasped. “Quit! I can’t breathe!”

“Okay, I guess I wanted my wife to live.” He let go and put his hands in his lap.

I sat up and pushed his chest. “Asshole.” I laughed and wiped my eyes since I had still been crying.

“You love it.” he smirked and kissed me softly.

“Yeah, yeah.” I laughed and shook my head as I pushed his chest.

“But really.” He laughed and pulled me back into his lap as he kissed my forehead. “I am sorry we have to stay in the U.S. I’d love to take you back to Spain. But I don’t want to stay there for a day then fly back and play a show.”

“I know baby.” I laughed and kissed him. “I’m one hundred percent okay with staying some place here.”

He smiled and kissed me. “God I love you.”

I blushed a little and kissed him back. “I love you too.” I pecked his lips again. “More than anything, baby.”

He grinned and kissed me, putting a hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. I moaned softly, on impulse and pulled myself even closer to him, putting my hands on his sides.

Matt pulled away just as I was about to deepen the kiss. I wanted to shoot him at that moment. Then he spoke, and my anger went away.

“We should go to Vermont.” He smiled.

Vermont was a really nice place. Little chapels were everywhere, hiding in the swirls of orange, red and yellow leaves. The streets weren’t flooded with people like Huntington, and the restaurants, shops and other little places were all small and close together. It was so peaceful. I loved it there.

I smiled up at him and looked into his eyes. “That’d be nice.” I nodded.

He planted a kiss on my lips again then got up with me in his arms. “Time for a show.” he laughed.

“And I’m attending?” I raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

“Yes.” He laughed. “You’re our roadie. You have to.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s Jason and Matt.” I laughed. “Not me.”

In the distance, I heard Jason’s voice. “I’m not a roadie! I’m a technician!”

Matt and I shook our heads as we laughed. He set me down by his bunk and started to get some clothes together. I helped him and soon he was all ready to go. They had about an hour till they went on stage, so they were all warming up their voices and instruments.

“Where’s lil man?” Zacky asked as he walked into the back room where Matt and I were.

“With Brian, I think.” I laughed and looked past Zacky, down the hallway past the bunks.

“AH!” Brian shouted as he ‘tripped’ onto the bus. “AH! Ya got me! Ya got me! I surrender!” He pleaded.

I laughed and walked out of the room to see Elliot jumping on Brian’s back. He was pounding on his back and Brian was just busting out with a low, playful chuckle. It made me smile to see him playing with Elliot.

It was hard bringing him along on the road since the guys didn’t have the best habits in the world. But it was so nice to see all of the people being super nice and helpful. Brian and Zacky especially. I rarely got to see Elliot. He was either strumming Zacky’s guitar with his help, or beating up Brian.

“Elliot!” I laughed as he tackled Brian back to the ground once he got to his feet.

“What Mama?” Elliot looked up me with big eyes there were identical to Matt’s.

“Stop beating up on Brian.” I laughed and picked him up. “He has a show and needs his strength.”

“Next time, lil man. Next time.” Brian smiled and walked down the hallway to his bunk to get some new clothes.

“Next time I’m Frost!” Elliot giggled and pointed to Brian.

Mortal Kombat. I rolled my eyes. The two of them always played that together. Every time they were together, they were rolling around, shoving their palms in one another’s face. It was quite amusing.

They all got ready for the show and hit the stage. Elliot and I stood at the side, listening to Matt’s voice with the guitars and drums supporting it. I smiled along with Elliot as we watched the guys. Elliot would play air guitar with Brian, Johnny and Zacky, then play air drums with Jimmy at a drum solo.

The show ended after almost an hour and Matt walked towards us wiping the sweat off of his face and neck. “Hey bud.” He kissed Elliot’s head as he yawned and kissed me softly.

“Ya sounded good.” I smiled and kissed him back.

“Thank you.” He laughed. “I’m going to talk to the guys about our trip. I’ll be on the bus soon. Go ahead and get out there before the fans do.” He chuckled.

“Will do.” I laughed and kissed him once more then walked out to the bus and got in.

Elliot fell asleep soon after. I put him down in the crib that was placed in the back and then slipped into my pajama’s. I laid down in Matt’s bunk and thought about what all happened today.

Just thinking about being with Matt alone again made my heart race. I missed him being with him so much. It wasn’t just the sexual stuff I missed. Of course it would be nice to be with him in that sense, but that isn’t all I want. Him holding me, whispering how much he loves me in my ear was something he didn’t do much on tour.

I opened Twilight again and began to read. I was at the part where Edward told Bella she was just his brand of heroin. I laughed quietly to myself. It was silly, but I knew exactly what he meant. I could relate to a freaking ancient vampire. That’s not crazy or anything…

The door opened and I heard the guys voices. I sat up in Matt’s bunk and let my legs hang over the edge as I leaned out. Matt looked up as he saw me and smiled a little. The smile was forced. I could tell. The dimples didn’t show.

“What’s the matter baby?” I looked at him, a little worried.

He sighed. “I talked to the guys about our trip tomorrow.” He said leaning against the wall opposite of me.

“And?” I asked, wanting to fix the collar on my shirt since it felt like it was making it hard to breathe.

“We can’t.” He sighed sadly. “Larry told me that I have a ton of stuff booked for tomorrow. I won’t have any time off until probably eleven.”

I wanted to sigh and look away from him since my heart ached. But I didn’t want to make him feel any worse about it. “It’s okay, Matt.” I smiled weakly. “We’ll still be together.”

“I’m sorry, Leslie.” He kissed my cheek as he stepped towards me.

“Come up here.” I laughed and scooted into the bunk laying down.

Matt crawled up to the bunk with me and wrapped his arms around my body. I breathed in his scent. He showered before he came back to the bus. I could smell his Axe body wash all over his body. I smiled and closed my eyes as I continued to inhale the lovely scent.
Matt ran his hands up and down my sides. “I really am sorry, baby.”

“Shut up Matt.” I laughed a little, loving the silence between us since it was nice. “It’s okay.”

He laughed a little and rubbed my back as he closed his eyes as well. Then I started to slip off to sleep. So worn out and tired. It felt so nice to be so close to Matt. The past few days, Elliot was sleeping between us. Brian was scaring him.

The next morning I woke up and saw Matt was missing. He wasn’t sleeping next to me with his mouth half open, snoring lightly. I got up and yawned as I stretched. I hopped down from the bunk and looked down the hall towards the kitchen area. A huge smile spread across my face.

A happy anniversary banner was hanging down from the ceiling in gold and blue letters. There was a small box on the counter, next to a freshly poured cup of coffee. Just then I felt how dry my mouth was.

I walked over and took a sip before taking the little box in my hands. A dimple formed between my eyebrows since they were drawn together out of confusion. I started to open it and felt my heart flutter. It was a diamond necklace that was absolutely beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.

“Happy Anniversary baby,” Matt whispered, coming up behind me.

I turned around and threw my arms around his neck, pulling myself to him. I smiled against his shoulder. “It’s so beautiful!” I squeaked.

He laughed and rubbed my back as he kissed my shoulder. “Only for a beautiful woman.”

I pulled away and pressed my lips hard against his. I was in complete shock. He told me last night he wouldn’t be able to spend any time with me. I didn’t expect this at all. I couldn’t believe it.

He laughed and kissed me back sweetly. “I know I told you last night I didn’t have time today. Well, I lied.” He smirked.

I pushed his chest and rolled my eyes. “Ass.” I joked with him as I looked down at the necklace.

“Let me put it on you.” He smiled and took it out of the box then held it up.

I turned around and held my hair as Matt put the necklace around me. I inhaled sharply at how cold it was against my skin and closed my eyes. Matt let his hands linger around my bare skin for a little while. He stepped closer to me and put his lips to my skin. I moaned.

Before I knew it we were in the back of the bus, alone, pulling at one another’s clothes. I pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside, not caring where it went. Matt grabbed a handful of my shirt and pulled it off also. His eyes gazed over my breasts for a minute, then I lifted his chin and kissed him. This time it wasn’t rough. It was sweet.

Matt laid me back on the couch and laid on me. He spread my legs and fit himself between them. I looked up at him with a slight smile as he ran his hands up and down my body. He kissed my belly in a sweet way more than sexual and put his hands on my hips. He stroked them gently with his thumbs and kissed the top of my underwear.

I moaned loudly and rolled my eyes back. He pulled my underwear down and off slowly, wanting the moment to last. I looked at him finally and pulled his jeans down, dragging his boxers with them. My eyes traveled his perfect, tattooed body. It was amazing to be this close with him. I loved it.

That night, Matt and I made love. Love like none other. If it was even possible, the two of us fell even more in love with each other. It was impossible to rid my feelings for him. He was a part of me now and no one could change that.

I rest my head on his chest as it rose and collapsed with each gasp of air he took. Breathing hard myself, I bit my lip trying to slow my breathing. He rubbed my back and my hair, kissing all over my face. I giggled and kissed his chest, stroking his lower stomach.

“I love you Leslie,” he whispered in my ear as he stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers.

“I love you too, Matt.” I smiled up at him. “More than anything.”

He turned me over and kissed me. He started to make love to me again. Neither of us could control ourselves. We wanted each other in every way possible. He had all of me and I had all of him. It was the best feeling in the world. Matthew Sanders was my life now, and will always be.

It’s not the end. It’s the beginning.” - Bella Swan