Synyster Confessions of an Unholy Reverend

“Guppie?”

“Jackie, I swear by all that is holy…”

“Guppie?”

“Jackie!”

“…Guppie?”

Stephanie threw a couch cushion at my head, which I just barely missed getting hit in the side of the face with. “Jacqueline fucking Baker! If you don’t fucking stop now, I’m going to take Syn’s fucking hat and shove it down your goddamn throat!” She took a deep breath and cuddled back into Zacky’s side, Zacky whispering something into her ear. He and Stephanie were sitting on the chair diagonal from the couch, Brian, Jimmy, and I on the couch.

Whatever Zacky was saying, Stephanie must have liked it, because she blushed a deep red color as his lips moved.

Jimmy leaned over to me and whispered, “I admit, you were right about him” he snickered, the sound light and carefree.

“I’m always right, Jimmy, it’s about time you caught on.”

Brian, who must have been spacing out until now, suddenly yelled, “What about my hat?!”

Stephanie only smiled sweetly as Zacky, Jimmy, and I roared with laughter. “Oh, nothing Syn, nothing.” Brian didn’t say anything. Instead, he swiftly took his hat off of his head and held it tight against this chest. “Big baby,” she muttered, laying her head back onto Zacky’s chest. Zacky kissed the top of her head, a small smile on his face.

Grinning at Jimmy, I started to make kissing noises at the two of them. Annoyed, Zacky flipped me the bird while Stephanie threw Matt’s empty soda can at me, which hit Brian after I ducked.

“Holy Fucking Shit!” Brian jumped up and as his hands flew to his head, the hat dropped. Reaching over, I caught the hat and put it on my head, grinning. “What the fuck was that for, Stephanie?” asked Brian, pouting.

Stephanie smiled innocently, “Well, I meant to hit the second spawn of Satan over there, but it missed at hit you. See, look what you did, Jackie,” she continued, looking at me. “You hurt Brian!”

“I did not hurt Brian!” I yelped at the same time as Zacky said indignantly, “I’m not some spawn of Satan!”

Jimmy smiled innocently as he moved his arm to pick up the can. “This will become a token to how much Jackie annoys Stephanie!” he cried triumphantly. I only rolled my eyes at him, pulling the black and white striped hat over my closed eyes.

I yelped out loud as I felt someone take the hat from my head, opening my eyes to see the hat back onto its owner’s head. “Didn’t your mother tell you not to steal things?” cooed Brian childishly.

“No, she taught me this!” With that, I tackled Brian, pinning him to the couch, and began mercilessly tickling his sides. Amidst Brian’s laughter, he was trying to pick me up, but, like I’ve said, I’m related to Zacky fucking Vengeance. I know how to pin people when I need to.

Sadly, I was pulled off the hysterical 17-year-old by slim tattooed arms that encircled around my waist. I felt the one who picked me up, Jimmy, maneuver back into his sitting position, this time with me trapped on his lap. “No killing our lead guitarist, short-stuff,” Jimmy whispered in my ear. I’m not sure if he knew it or not, but, the unintentional raspy voice he possessed sent shivers down my spine.

Thank god for older brothers, because Zacky decided to interrupt. “Jimmy, man, I love you and all, but, stop raping my 15-year-old sister!” Jimmy’s arms around my waist tightened momentarily, but he removed them so I could crawl back to sitting in the middle of the couch. I looked over at him, but I couldn’t see anything besides his spiked up hair.

Brian, who had gotten over his hysterics, said calmly, “Where’s Shads?” To this, I shrugged. Jimmy and the couple of the century weren’t paying enough attention to answer, anyway.

After Brian’s comment, everything became deathly quiet, because everyone was off in their own world. I couldn’t stop thinking; however, about how much Jimmy was reluctant to let me go. It couldn’t be that he just missed out on hugging me for a while, so he was making up for time missed, Right?