When Fate Tries to Screw You Over
Chapter Ten
Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and before I knew it a month and a half had passed since the last time I saw Lucas. He had quit his job at La Cucina, he hadn't called or visited to reconcile our relationship like I so badly hoped and I was still miserable, much to Brandon's annoyance.
"Matt, you need to get up for work." Brandon's nagging voice wakes me up at 1 in the afternoon.
"I'm sick, could you call in for?" I mumble groggily, not bothering to open my eyes. I wans't really sick, I just didn't have the energy or motivation to go to work, to do anything.
"You are not sick. Jesus Matt, enough is enough! If you're going to make sad excuses to get out of life then you can call them yourself!" He snaps, slamming my bedroom door loudly behind him, which makes me flinch.
"Bitch." I mutter, dragging myself out from under the warm covers that were protecting me from the winter coldness. I open my wardrobe and pull out my work pants and shirt and a black hoodie before going in to have a shower. I get in and 5 minutes later I'm out again. I dry and style my hair once I was dressed, cleaned my teeth and walked out into the kitchen where Brandon and Logan were drinking coffee and cuddling.
"Hey Matt, how are you going?" Logan asks warmly and I shrug in response.
"Don't be so freaking rude, Matt." Brandon snaps, his grip on Logan's waist tightening.
"I wasn't being rude, fuck off." I sneer, grabbing a mug and filling it with black coffee and leaving the room quickly.
45 minutes later, I grab my wallet and keys and leave without saying goodbye. I had to catch the bus to work because Brandon was taking Logan out on a date tonight and needed it. It took about 25 minutes to get to work so I settled down on the very back seat, away from everyone else.
10 minutes into the ride a boy around 18 gets on. His face is covered by his long black fringe and black hood of his jumper and he is really really. I feel a twinge of familiarity as he pays his money and trudges up the isle towards the back seat aswell. When he looks up at me he stops dead as the breath is taken out of me when I see who is actually is.
Lucas...
I sigh in relief when I notice that, even though he was still really thin, he had put on a lot of weight over the past month and a half. He would weigh at least 45kg. But he has dyed his beautiful blonde hair and he seemed to have that sense of saddness surrounding him.
We just stay there unmoving, not knowing what to do next. Woud he talk to me? Would he just completely ignore me? Did he still hate me so much?
I gulp, just wanting to pull him close to me like before but I didn't let myself, he would probably punch me or something.
"H-hi..." I manage to choke out eventually and it snaps him out of his trance and he comes closer, sitting down in the seats across from me, still looking at me.
"M-matt..." He says distantly, looking at me like he was examining for any changes.
"How have you been?" I ask, trying to make conversation.
"Ok. I got out of hospital a week ago, they are making me do therapy three times a week though." He answers, fiddling with his hoodie zipper.
"I'm really glad. You're looking so much better"
"Yeah..."
"You dyed your hair" I observe, hating this awkwardness.
"Yeah..." Silence envelopes us even though I desperately wanted to talk with him again. I wanted him back so badly, I wanted to hold him again. I wanted to love him freely again, but he didn't want that.
"Look-"
"Hey um-" We smile at each other awkwardly as we try to say something at the same time.
"You go first." I offer and he nods.
"Look, back in the hospital, I was really sick and I-I didn't want to believe it. I said some- some... things I regret badly and, and I'm sorry." He apologise, rambling slightly.
"It's alright. I shouldn't have been so forward about it all."
"No, no. If you hadn't been forward about it, I probably would be dead right now. I'm sorry I didn't see that before." He says seriously, looking a little scared by the prospect.
"I'm glad you're doing ok... I've missed you Lucas." I say quietly, hoping I don't scare him off again by saying it. He doesn't run off. Instead he gets up and hugs me tightly, I returns the gesture happily, not wanting to let go.
"I've missed you too Matt, more then you could imagine." He whispers in my ear. I look into his honest eyes and feel myself leaning forward. Just as our lips are about to touch, the bus comes to a stop out front of La Cucina. Flustered, I stand up and begin to walk down the isle.
"Uh-uh, it was good to see you again Lucas. Come around sometime, okay?" I say hurriedly, blushing as I leave him there looking after me in shock.
"Shit. Just fucking blew it again." i curse under my breath, that happy flutter I was feeling before, gone. I walk into work, sign on and begin my 8 hour shift.
***********
Once I get home I am exhausted and still sulking over what happened on the bus. I decided I would drink myself into oblivion and wake up late tomorrow with a massive headache and I'd feel better about the whole situation. Yep, sounded like a good plan. So, before I got the bus home, I went and bought some beers and woodstock (bourbon and coke) and right now, I am struggling with the;
"Fucking stupid door" I curse, kicking it a bit so it would swing open. I slam it shut in annoyance and turn to see a half naked Logan on top of Brandon on the couch. I jump in surprise and turn around, smacking my face in the wall, hard.
"GET A FUCKING ROOM!!....oowwwwWWWW!!" I yell, my nose started to bleed but I really didn't want to turn to see anything so I cup my nose, the blood dripping between my fingers. I hear a scream from Logan and a 'shit' from Brandon and a huge thud as they fall off the couch and land on the floor.
This felt all too familar, only opposite; it was Brandon walking in on Lucas and I ages ago. This memory just makes me feel even worse and I edge out of the room and into the kitchen, ignoring the giggles I could hear coming from the other room as I slam my alcohol down on the bench. I clean my nose up, stuffing a tissue up one nostril before opening the pantry, pull out a box of fruit loops, grabbing the grog and going into my rom.
I set myself down under the covers of my bed, turned the small TV I had in here on and checked the time.
12:07am. 21st of June 2007.
"Happy 21st birthday, Matt" I mumble, opening a beer and skulling it.
"Matt, you need to get up for work." Brandon's nagging voice wakes me up at 1 in the afternoon.
"I'm sick, could you call in for?" I mumble groggily, not bothering to open my eyes. I wans't really sick, I just didn't have the energy or motivation to go to work, to do anything.
"You are not sick. Jesus Matt, enough is enough! If you're going to make sad excuses to get out of life then you can call them yourself!" He snaps, slamming my bedroom door loudly behind him, which makes me flinch.
"Bitch." I mutter, dragging myself out from under the warm covers that were protecting me from the winter coldness. I open my wardrobe and pull out my work pants and shirt and a black hoodie before going in to have a shower. I get in and 5 minutes later I'm out again. I dry and style my hair once I was dressed, cleaned my teeth and walked out into the kitchen where Brandon and Logan were drinking coffee and cuddling.
"Hey Matt, how are you going?" Logan asks warmly and I shrug in response.
"Don't be so freaking rude, Matt." Brandon snaps, his grip on Logan's waist tightening.
"I wasn't being rude, fuck off." I sneer, grabbing a mug and filling it with black coffee and leaving the room quickly.
45 minutes later, I grab my wallet and keys and leave without saying goodbye. I had to catch the bus to work because Brandon was taking Logan out on a date tonight and needed it. It took about 25 minutes to get to work so I settled down on the very back seat, away from everyone else.
10 minutes into the ride a boy around 18 gets on. His face is covered by his long black fringe and black hood of his jumper and he is really really. I feel a twinge of familiarity as he pays his money and trudges up the isle towards the back seat aswell. When he looks up at me he stops dead as the breath is taken out of me when I see who is actually is.
Lucas...
I sigh in relief when I notice that, even though he was still really thin, he had put on a lot of weight over the past month and a half. He would weigh at least 45kg. But he has dyed his beautiful blonde hair and he seemed to have that sense of saddness surrounding him.
We just stay there unmoving, not knowing what to do next. Woud he talk to me? Would he just completely ignore me? Did he still hate me so much?
I gulp, just wanting to pull him close to me like before but I didn't let myself, he would probably punch me or something.
"H-hi..." I manage to choke out eventually and it snaps him out of his trance and he comes closer, sitting down in the seats across from me, still looking at me.
"M-matt..." He says distantly, looking at me like he was examining for any changes.
"How have you been?" I ask, trying to make conversation.
"Ok. I got out of hospital a week ago, they are making me do therapy three times a week though." He answers, fiddling with his hoodie zipper.
"I'm really glad. You're looking so much better"
"Yeah..."
"You dyed your hair" I observe, hating this awkwardness.
"Yeah..." Silence envelopes us even though I desperately wanted to talk with him again. I wanted him back so badly, I wanted to hold him again. I wanted to love him freely again, but he didn't want that.
"Look-"
"Hey um-" We smile at each other awkwardly as we try to say something at the same time.
"You go first." I offer and he nods.
"Look, back in the hospital, I was really sick and I-I didn't want to believe it. I said some- some... things I regret badly and, and I'm sorry." He apologise, rambling slightly.
"It's alright. I shouldn't have been so forward about it all."
"No, no. If you hadn't been forward about it, I probably would be dead right now. I'm sorry I didn't see that before." He says seriously, looking a little scared by the prospect.
"I'm glad you're doing ok... I've missed you Lucas." I say quietly, hoping I don't scare him off again by saying it. He doesn't run off. Instead he gets up and hugs me tightly, I returns the gesture happily, not wanting to let go.
"I've missed you too Matt, more then you could imagine." He whispers in my ear. I look into his honest eyes and feel myself leaning forward. Just as our lips are about to touch, the bus comes to a stop out front of La Cucina. Flustered, I stand up and begin to walk down the isle.
"Uh-uh, it was good to see you again Lucas. Come around sometime, okay?" I say hurriedly, blushing as I leave him there looking after me in shock.
"Shit. Just fucking blew it again." i curse under my breath, that happy flutter I was feeling before, gone. I walk into work, sign on and begin my 8 hour shift.
***********
Once I get home I am exhausted and still sulking over what happened on the bus. I decided I would drink myself into oblivion and wake up late tomorrow with a massive headache and I'd feel better about the whole situation. Yep, sounded like a good plan. So, before I got the bus home, I went and bought some beers and woodstock (bourbon and coke) and right now, I am struggling with the;
"Fucking stupid door" I curse, kicking it a bit so it would swing open. I slam it shut in annoyance and turn to see a half naked Logan on top of Brandon on the couch. I jump in surprise and turn around, smacking my face in the wall, hard.
"GET A FUCKING ROOM!!....oowwwwWWWW!!" I yell, my nose started to bleed but I really didn't want to turn to see anything so I cup my nose, the blood dripping between my fingers. I hear a scream from Logan and a 'shit' from Brandon and a huge thud as they fall off the couch and land on the floor.
This felt all too familar, only opposite; it was Brandon walking in on Lucas and I ages ago. This memory just makes me feel even worse and I edge out of the room and into the kitchen, ignoring the giggles I could hear coming from the other room as I slam my alcohol down on the bench. I clean my nose up, stuffing a tissue up one nostril before opening the pantry, pull out a box of fruit loops, grabbing the grog and going into my rom.
I set myself down under the covers of my bed, turned the small TV I had in here on and checked the time.
12:07am. 21st of June 2007.
"Happy 21st birthday, Matt" I mumble, opening a beer and skulling it.
♠ ♠ ♠
please comment! thanks xoxo