I Can't Believe This

Staring out the window at the dark Oakland sky made me feel better. Just knowing that I was out of Washington D.C. and on my way home made me feel better too. Although, technically, I wasn’t on my way home. I was on my way to Billie’s house. He’d asked me to stay with him tonight, so we could have some time alone…time to talk. I sighed as I felt Billie’s eyes on me once again. I looked up and gave him a reassuring smile. I’m going to tell him what’s wrong with me, but I can’t do it here, not in a cab.

“Home sweet home.” Billie murmured, as we got our bags and headed up the front walk to his house.

“Yeah.” I agreed. And it did feel like home to me. I spent most of my time here anyway. “Billie, I’m…” I stopped, maybe I should tell him later. No, I contradicted myself, I need to tell him now, or else I probably won’t tell him at all.

“What is it?” He asked, eyeing me with concern.

“I’m sorry. I know, I’ve been a complete bitch to you ever since we got off the plane, and I’m sorry.” I said, looking him straight in the eye.

“It’s ok, I know you’ve been through a lot lately.”

“No, it’s not. And I’m sorry for pushing you away when we were in the bathroom on the plane. It’s just that when you took off my shirt, I thought back to when that guy tried to rape me and I freaked out.”

Billie looked at me for a moment longer. He opened his mouth to say something but close it again. “Do you wanna watch some T.V.?”

I smiled. “Yeah.” I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist, as we walked to the couch. “So what do you wanna watch?”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” He said, grabbing the remote and surfing though the channels.

Unfortunately, there was nothing on. We sat there watching some boring sitcom, neither of us really paying attention. I sighed again, looking over at Billie. I laughed, the sound filling the quiet room. He was asleep. I rolled my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, all the worries of the day slipped away as I lie there. I closed my eyes and drifted off.

***

For a minute I couldn’t place where I was. I knew I was somewhere familiar though and as I opened my eyes I realized I was at Billie’s. we fell asleep on the couch last night. I turned over to put my arms around him, but he wasn’t there.

“Ouch.”

I looked up at the sound of Billie’s voice. He was In the kitchen. But, God knows what the hell he was doing.

“Son of a bitch!” I heard him mutter.

I laughed and rolled off the couch, walking into the kitchen. I had to hold back my laughter once again. Billie was trying to cook, although obviously failing. He had a carton of eggs balanced on his head, a carton of milk in his hand and a spatula in his other hand. “Need some help?” I offered.

“What the…?” he asked startled. “Oh shit.” he mumbled as the eggs tumbled off his head and to the floor.

I laughed again. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Uh huh, sure.” He grinned, putting the milk and spatula down. “I was cooking breakfast for us.”

I just down at the eggs that had splattered all over the floor, then looked back up at him and arched and eyebrow.

“Ok…I was trying to cook breakfast for us.”

I shook my head, grinning. “I see that. Well thank you, but I think that you should give me the spatula before you hurt yourself.”

He frowned before handing it to me. “Fine, but it’s not as easy at it looks.” he muttered, sitting at the table.

I laughed before going to work. I was cooked some eggs, luckily there had been a couple that hadn’t broken, and poured us some orange juice. I also cooked some hash browns, then joined Billie at the table. He looked at me for a second before picking up his fork and shoving some eggs in his mouth.

“Lovely.” I said, as I watched him shove some hash browns in also, then proceeded to chase all that down with some orange juice.

He laughed, and continued eating. When we were done I picked up the dishes and began to put them in the dishwasher.

“You’re a good cook.” Billie stated, walking over to me.

“Thanks.” I grinned.

I finished up the dishes and walked out to the living room again, laying down on the sofa. I closed my eyes, laughing to myself. I had just left Billie in the kitchen. But I bet he would catch on sooner or later. My eyes flew open and I looked up to see Billie on top of me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, smiling.

“Laying down.”

Billie laid his head on my chest and closed his eyes, absently playing with a strand of my hair. I kissed him the head before closing my eyes too.

“Thank you.” I heard him mumble.

“For what?” I asked, opening my eyes again to be met with his soft green ones.

He just smiled and kissed me again. I lie there, confused for a minute, but decided to let it go. I was just closing me eyes again when the phone rang. Billie groaned as I went to get up.

“No, don’t get up.”

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t, just lay here with me.” He smiled angelically at me and it was hard to resist, but I got up anyway. Ignoring the protests from Billie.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Liisssaaa!!” Tre yelled. “And what have you and Billie been up to?”

I could here the grin in his voice.

“Sleeping.”

“And…?” Tre prompted.

“Talking.” I supplied.

“You disappoint me.”

I laughed. “Sorry Tre.”

“’Tis ok milady. Now for the real reason for my phone call.”

“And what is the real reason?”

His tone suddenly became serious. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“And…?” He prompted once more.

“Everything’s fine.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Tre said, sincerely.

“Me too.” I smiled.

“You’re smiling.” Tre accused, laughing.

“How did you know?” I asked, mockingly surprised.

“I’m Tre Cool baby!”

I laughed again, shaking my head.

“So is Billie Boy around?”

“Yeah, one sec.” I covered the receiver with my hand and yelled for Billie. When he entered the room I mouthed that I was going to get us some coffee and doughnuts. He nodded, smiling widely at me, and grabbed the phone. “What’s up?” was the last thing I heard as I made my way out of the house.

It wasn’t a long walk from Billie’s house to coffee shop, so I just took my time. I reached the front entrance and yanked open the clear glass door. I walked up to the front counter, waiting for the cashier to turn around.

“What’ll ya have?” the cashier asked.

I hadn’t looked up yet, I was still rummaging in my pants pocket, getting out my money. “Two coffees and two glazed doughnuts,” I answered automatically. I heard him mumble something about “Coming right up.” I looked up and I noticed that the cashiers hair was black. Kind of long, but not too long. He looked really familiar. But, just as quickly as I had that thought, I decided it was just coincidence. Which was also cast aside when the cashier turned around again.

Ethan.

“Oh hey!” He said, brightly.

“Hey,” I muttered. How was this happening? I mean really. What were the chances of just getting back from D.C. and then running into someone you met there? “You work here?” I asked dumbly.

Duh, that’s the reason for the green apron he was sporting, I snipped at myself.

“Oh, yea. But hopefully not for long. I’m just saving up so I can get my own apartment.”

“Cool. Well, uh, I got to go. Have people waiting for these.” I said, smiling, while holding up the doughnut box and coffees.

“Right, right, see you later.”

“See you.” I turned to walk back out the door when Ethan called my name again. I stopped, and turned around slowly. “Yea?” I asked.

“Do you maybe, uh, wanna hang out sometime?” He asked, smiling at me.

“Well…” I bgan before he cut me off.

“Just as friends of course. I don’t want to have another run in with your boyfriend.” He chuckled.

I smiled weakly before answering. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I looked down as I said the last part. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and if I had, I didn’t want to have to look into his eyes and see the hurt in them.

“Yea, you’re probably right. I mean, I know that if I were your boyfriend I wouldn’t want to be hanging out with guys I didn’t know.” He smiled broadly, his eyes sparkling.

I blushed. After the blush has faded I smiled and nodded, turning to leave.

“Hey, wait.” He walked around the counter with a piece of paper in his hands and a pen. “I just wanted to give you my home number. The last one was my cell, but it recently became…incapacitated.” He smiled at the last word, obviously remembering what had happened.

“Oh, um…” again, he cut me off.

“You don’t have to use it or anything. But I wanna give it to you, just in case you change your mind.”

I had to hand it to him, he was persistent. He wrote down his number, putting his name under like last time, and folded it into my hand. “Thanks.” I said, smiling again.

“Your welcome, and I hope you use it this time.” He grinned again, then ran back to his station on the other side of the counter.

I walked out of the coffee shop, then glanced at the street to see if any cars were coming before crossing. As I turned onto Billie’s street I began thinking. What am I going to do? I peered down at the number in my hand. Throw it away I decided. Just like last time. I’m going to throw it away. Too bad that never happened though. It probably could have saved me a lot of trouble…