I Can't Believe This

I couldn’t contain the excitement rising in my chest. I knew it was stupid and that nothing was going to happen. But still. I was unbelievably happy that Billie and I were finally getting along, and becoming friends. He had called three days after we had bumped into each other on the street and suggested that we go to lunch. I know, doesn’t sound terribly exciting, but it was a big step for us since the break up.

That’s why at the moment I was standing in front of my closet, in a red v-neck tee and my pajama bottoms, going through all the pairs of jeans I owned. Finally I picked out a simple pair of blue jeans. I grabbed my converse and slipped them on, then put on my plain black belt. I brushed through my hair and applied a little lip gloss, then headed out of my room. I skipped down the stairs and came to a halt, almost crashing into Rhianna.

“In a hurry?’ She asked, eyeing my outfit.

“No.” I answered coolly, walking past her.

I wasn’t either. I was just in a good mood. Which I kept telling myself over and over had nothing to do with the fact that in a half an hour I would be seeing Billie.

“Right. Today’s your date with Billie right?”

“Not a date. We’re going to lunch.”

Rhianna rolled her eyes before speaking. “Okay, then. Today is your lunch date with Billie.”

I sighed. Ever since I had told her that Billie and I were trying to be friends again, she had been bugging the shit out of me. Insisting that Billie and I were in love, but were just too stubborn to admit it. Even Mike and Tré called me, insisting that this was a huge step in the “Reuniting Process” as they had called it. And each time, I kept telling them that we were not getting back together. Earning contradicting laughs from all of them.

“Will you quit? I’ve told you. This. Is. Not. A. Date.” I said, and walked into the kitchen, trying to get away from her contemptuous gaze. It didn’t work. Of course.

“Alright. Fine. I get it. You don’t want to call this a date. So I’ll respect your wishes.”

“Thank you.” I said, relieved.

“Even if you are lying to everyone, including yourself.”

I should’ve known she wouldn’t let it drop. I was about to argue, but what was the use? Instead, I just strolled out of the kitchen, told Rhianna I’d be back later and left. But not before hearing Rhianna call. “Have fun on your date!” Damn her anyway.

***

It wasn’t far to the café where Billie and I had agreed to meet. I glanced down at my watch after I reached the café. 1:24 p.m. ‘Alright.’ I thought to myself. I still had a few minutes until Billie showed up. In the meantime I just ordered myself some water and sat down at one of the white tables outside with an umbrella shading it. I looked around me as I drank some of my water. This place was pretty busy. Almost every table was filled with a family, or a couple, or just someone by themselves. How sad, sitting by yourself in a café. I laughed to myself quietly after I thought that. I was doing the same thing. Just not for long. I shifted my gaze toward the door that led to the inside of the café and watched as a stream of people came out.

No one I knew. Well no fucking duh. I thought. I was here to meet Billie and if he had been here I would’ve known. I think. That’s when I saw a guy emerge that had spiky black hair, and was around my age. Billie, I thought. The guy lifted his gaze from the ground, still walking in my direction. But the guy wasn’t Billie.

Ethan. I groaned inwardly. Why? I yelled in my head. Why is it that every time things between Billie and I are looking hopeful for us this guy had to show up? Fucking hell. I dropped my gaze back to my water glass and picked up a menu, trying to hide my face so Ethan wouldn’t see me. Spaghetti, Ravioli, BLT sandwich, coffee…I sat there, listing off all the options in my head. Trying to keep myself from looking up. It didn’t matter.

“Lisa?” Ethan asked, stopping in front of my table.

Fuck. How did he recognize me anyway? I had dyed my hair.

I looked up, pretending I didn’t know that he had been walking towards me. “Oh, uh, hey.” I greeted as politely as possible.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan sat down across from me.

What the hell do you think I’m here for? It is a café after all. Not incredibly bright. Maybe he was nervous. “Just waiting for someone.”

“Billie?” He guessed.

“Yep. And he’ll be here in a minute or two and…” I want you to get the hell out of here! I finished in my head.

“You don’t want him to see me here? I know. So how are things between you two?”

I knew he was being polite about it, but it still bugged me that he felt the need to butt into my relationship. “We broke up.” I said, truthfully. I saw his eyes light up a little. “But we’re still friends, so we decided to get lunch together.” I added quickly.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I checked my watch again. 1:31. Billie would be here soon. I glanced back up and saw Ethan eyeing my watch too.

“I’m gonna go, I think I’ve already caused enough trouble between you two, and I'm sorry.. Enjoy your lunch.” he smiled at me, then turned to leave.

That’s when I noticed the figure standing behind him. I swore under my breathe.

Billie.

He was standing a few feet behind us, throwing daggers with his eyes at Ethan. Ethan stopped dead in his tracks, just staring at Billie. After a few agonizing seconds, Billie strolled up and stopped right in front of the table I had just stood up from.

“Billie…” I began.

“Enjoying your lunch?” he spat, glaring at me. Then he turned back to Ethan. “Why the fuck is it that every time I show up somewhere with Lisa or to see her you’re always here?” The look on Billie's face was pure hatred.

“Hey, listen I was just grabbing a quick lunch and was on my way out when I saw Lisa. So I decided to say hi.” Ethan explained, his face still neutral.

Billie snorted. “Right. I’m supposed to believe that this was just a coincidence?” Sarcasm marred his voice.

“Billie!” I waited for him to turn around before continuing. “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to believe. That’s what happened.” I insisted.

“Just like all the other times he showed up out of fucking nowhere?!” His voice continued to rise.

“Yes! Dammit Billie! I didn’t fucking plan this. So stop being an asshole about it!” I hissed, glaring at him in the same way he was glaring at me.

“Besides.” Ethan started. He walked over to us, standing a few feet from me. “You two broke up.”

Shit. Not the right thing to say to make the situation better. Damn both of them! Now Billie would know that I told Ethan that we broke up and he’d get pissed about that too. I turned my head to stare at Ethan, venom in my eyes. He didn’t noticed, he just kept glaring at Billie. I snuck a quick glance in Billie’s direction. Saying that he was pissed would be a complete understatement. He looked like any minute he would jump on Ethan and start beating the shit out of him.

“That is none of your fucking business.” Billie hissed, seething with anger.

“Are you sure? I think it is. You and Lisa broke up and she can see whoever she wants.”

Now I was ready to kill Ethan too. He meant those words to imply that we were seeing each other. And apparently it had worked. Billie’s mask of anger faltered for a moment, shifting to hurt. He glanced at me, then back at Ethan, and his face contorted in anger once more.

“I don’t fucking believe you.” Billie spat.

Ethan was about to answer, before I cut him off. “Good. Don’t. Cause it’s not fucking true!” I glared at Ethan. “And don’t you fucking answer for me. You have no idea what the hell I feel. So just butt the hell out!”

“I wasn’t answering for you, I was just telling Billie…”

I cut him off again. “Well don’t.” I turned back to Billie. “And I didn’t plan any of this. And I am not dating Ethan. So just calm the fuck down.”

Billie barked a short, tight laugh. “Of course not. I should’ve realized that you wouldn’t go out with a dickhead like him” he sneered, glaring again.

I didn’t even see it happen. One minute I was standing there, ready to yell at Billie. The next moment Ethan had launched himself at Billie, punching him right in the face.

“Fuck. You guys! Stop!” I yelled, trying to pull Ethan off of Billie.

I didn’t need to. Billie had shoved Ethan off already and recovered quickly. He picked Ethan up and landed a hard blow to Ethan’s face. I glanced around, checking to see if anyone was around that could help. There were lots of people around. But all of them were just gaping at the fight that had broken out. Then I spotted two security guards a few feet away, rushing through the crowd that had formed. It wasn’t fast enough.

Billie and Ethan were still going at it. Landing blows on each other’s faces, stomachs, and anywhere else they could get a hit in. The guards finally got through the crowd and pulled Ethan and Billie apart. Angrily, I looked back and forth between the two. Both of them looked considerably fucked up. But after a longer inspection I noticed that Billie wasn’t as bloody. I stormed over to them. “What the fuck were you two thinking? You two are acting like goddamn children!”

Billie started to speak.

“Save it! I don’t give a shit! You know what? Maybe you two should just fucking date each other!” I yelled again. I was pissed. With that I stormed past them, ready to leave and let my wave of anger carry me home. The guards were the ones who stopped me.

“Miss, do you know these two?” The guard nodded his head toward Billie and Ethan.

“Unfortunately.” I muttered, under my breath. “Yes, I do.” I spoke up loud enough for the guard to hear me this time.

“Well they look like they’re in pretty bad shape. We asked them if they wanted an ambulance but, they both declined.”

I don’t blame them. “They don’t need an ambulance. All they did was beat the shit out of each other.”

“Well, I think they do, so I had Doug call one. The police are coming also.”

I assumed that “Doug” was the other guard standing a few feet away. “Okay? So what do you need with me?”

“We need you to accompany them to the hospital so that you can tell the police what happened.”

What the hell? Why me? Billie and Ethan would know what happened too. After all, they were the ones with bloody faces. “What?” I asked, skeptically.

“The police want you to go to the hospital to answer questions.” The way he repeated himself made it seem like he was trying to dumb things down for me. Dickhead.

“Fine. Whatever. As long as it doesn’t take forever.” I grumbled, trudging over to the ambulance that had arrived.

I climbed in the back as instructed and stared at the wall. Ethan and Billie were both glancing in my direction whenever they thought I wasn’t looking. Assholes. I repeated in my brain. Get in a stupid fight, that wasn’t even my fault, and now I have to go to the fucking hospital with them. Okay, so it was my fault. A little. If they didn’t have the fucking tempers they do, none of this would’ve happened. Or maybe it would’ve, I don’t know.

The ambulance finally came to a stop and they took Billie and Ethan to the emergency room. Why I don’t know. Their wounds looked worse than they actually were. And I got escorted to a private office with a policeman named “Ron” and had to answer a bunch of pointless questions. Finally, 40 minutes and a million questions later I was free to go. I was on my way out when I saw Billie heading towards the exit also. I walked up beside him, my curiosity getting the best of me. “How many stitches?” I asked, noting the thread I could see sewn into his forehead and lip.

“12.” he replied, shortly.

“Oh.” I kept walking next to him until we finally emerged from the hospital’s entrance. I stopped and looked down at my feet. Despite that fact that I was still pissed about those two getting into a fight, I felt bad.

“It’s going to be a long walk.” Billie mumbled, looking down the street.

Damn. That’s right, I hadn’t taken my car to the café or to the hospital, I hadn’t needed to. Well, at least I was wearing comfortable shoes. “Do you want to walk with me?”

Billie looked down at me warily. Probably wondering I if I was going to explode on him again. I smiled a little, hoping to encourage him, and silently tell him that I wasn’t going to yell again. He seemed to believe me and nodded, setting our pace down the street.

“I’m sorry.” Billie said quietly, after a few minutes.

“I know.”

“I just…if he hadn’t said those things about how you were free to date anyone you wanted to, I…” He trailed off looking over at me.

“I know.” I said again. “He was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“It worked.” Billie laughed without any trace of humor.

We walked in silence for about a mile, both of us just staring down mostly. We still had another couple of miles to go until we reached the café. Damn Oakland. Why hadn’t they built a hospital close to the café? Oh well, that’s a city for you. Always trying to inconvenience you, I thought sourly. I kept walking, just staring at my shoes, and at the scenery in front of us, until I felt a prickly sensation on my neck. Billie was gazing at me out of the corner of his eye. “Yes?” I asked, slightly amused.

He jumped a little at my question and quickly diverted his appraising gaze from my face. “Sorry.”

“S’ok. Now what did you want to tell me?”

“How do you know I want to tell you something?” he challenged.

“Billie, you’ve been glancing at me every few seconds since we left the hospital.”

“Oh. So you noticed that huh?”

I nodded, smirking. We were almost at the café now. I could see the crowed becoming heavier. We reached the tiny hole-in-the-wall café and stopped.

“You want a ride?” Billie offered.

I smiled. “Yea, thanks.”

The ride was quiet too. Too quiet. It was starting to get annoying. The radio wasn’t even on. I sighed, deciding to break the unbearable silence. “So what did you want to tell me earlier?”

“Nothing.” Billie said, unconvincingly.

“Billie. You’re lying, and you’re horrible at it. So just tell me.” I saw Billie smirk in my peripheral vision.

“Alright. I was just going to ask you, if…well if…”

“Just spit it out.” I pressed.

“If you were really dating Ethan.” His voice was barely audible at the end of the question.

I fumed silently. How could he still think that I was dating Ethan? After I fucking yelled at both of them! Why couldn’t Billie just believe me? I mean, really, I hadn’t dated anyone since we broke up. Especially not Ethan! I was getting ready to answer, well yell at him again, but he spoke first.

“I mean, you can tell me if you are. I won't get mad.”

I snorted. The hell he wouldn’t. “Yes, you would.” I really shouldn’t have phrased it like that, because Billie took it another way. As usual.

“So you are dating him?” His voice changed in an instant. He was angry again. “I should’ve seen it. Really I should’ve. How you agreed to be friends with me, but didn’t push it any further than that. I can’t believe I was such a fucking idiot!” He slammed on the brakes, and my eyes widened in fear, had we gotten in a crash? Were we almost in a crash? I looked out the window in alarm and realized that we were at my apartment building. Billie jumped out of the car and started pacing back and forth, running his hand through is hair over and over. I followed, trying to get a word in.

“I can’t believe it. After all of this. Us becoming friends again, actually moving past the break up, you’re with him!” He stopped pacing and glared at me.

“Billie…listen, I’m not…”

“Well I hope you two live happily fucking ever after!” He hissed, striding back to his car.

I couldn’t let him leave thinking that I was dating Ethan. I wasn’t and I never would, nor would I want to. There was only one person I wanted to be with. And right now he was about to walk out of my life. “Billie!” I yelled, hoping he would stop. He didn't.

“What?” He opened his car door.

“Stop!”

“Why the fuck should I?”

I only hesitated a moment. “Because I love you, you fucking idiot!”

Billie stopped moving, then wheeled around to face me, all traces of anger gone. He walked toward me briskly and pulled me close, placing one hand on the back of my neck and the other on the small of my back. Then he caught my lips in the most breathtaking and passionate kiss I had ever experienced.