Skinny Jeans Have No Place On These Thighs
"Get upstairs. Now!"
So we have the talk. Well, it's not really a talk. My Mum sits at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in one hand and a pack of lies in the other. She says I can always tell her if anything is bothering me. That she's my best friend and always ready to listen.
Only of course my Mum's not my best friend. I love my Mum very much, certainly not the most in the world of course - that position belongs to my Dad. Besides, I'd rather hang out with Izzie and Bridget. Or Marcus.
Besides, if I ever were to tell My Mum what was bothering me, she'd hit the roof. So no, I don't think I'll sharing anything just yet.
"I was held up the other night so Will offered to get back to keep an eye on the house."
"Yes I know. He said that."
So it's 'Will' now is it? OK that's hardly incriminating. Or particularly enlightening. I never say Ms Valentine or Ms Evans, it's always Izzie and Bridget.
I find it really sexy when guys call you by your last name. I wonder if Marcus knows my last name? He either seems to say 'kid' or 'babe'. Oh Jesus, he does know my first name right?!
"I just wanted to be certain you knew that. I know how overactive teenage girls minds can be."
"What?"
"Oh you know what I mean.
"Not really."
My Mum sighs heavily and is a lick away from rolling her eyes. "For heaven's sake Ella, I merely meant that people can get the wrong idea of the stick, there's no need to be silly."
"I'm not being silly."
I'm really not. I'm far too tired to be anything other than entirely co-operative. Honestly!
"Are you raising your voice?"
"No?"
"That's it - get upstairs. Now!"
I rise and leave. I'm inside my room when I start silently dancing. Because now that she's sent me to my room I don't have to eat her stupid take away!
Oh glory of glories! What did I do to deserve this punishment? Did heaven finally get a hold of my prayers? Praise the Lord or Jesus or the tooth fairy and anybody else up there!
*
It is boring though. I read for a while, then fling the book down in annoyance and then pick it up again because there's nothing else to do. I can't stand not having my phone. Not having a phone when you've been sent to your room rather like being marooned. Only one more day until Marcus gets it back though!
I wish I could talk to him. I hope he's not angry with me for running out of the house last night without even saying good bye. I couldn't though! I had to take advantage of the fact he was out of the room so I could think straight.
He didn't give me any alternative really. What with all the carressing and the kissing and the - well, nothing else happened but that wasn't for lack of trying on his part . . . I couldn't think straight. And once I could e.g. once Marcus was out of the room, I got it into my head that I had to leave.
Don't get me wrong, sex with Marcus would be great. But then there's all that other stuff to consider. Is Marcus the right boy to lose my virginity to? Where do I get shaving cream from? Where should I hide it from my Mum? Would I be happy having sex with someone I wasn't going out with.
I wish I could be more like Izzie sometimes and just do things. I have to think everything through really carefully but Izzie isn't like that. She must have some kind of thought process but if she comes across a problem she either solves it right away or steams on through in the hope that it will fix itself.
When I have a problem, I have to sit beside it and have a good think. I suppose there are worst qualities to have - other than being cautious I mean. But still . . .
I really want to talk to Bridget and Izzie about all this. But I think Bridget will have something to say about my wanting to sleep with someone I'm not going out with. Either that or she'll just be thinking things and say 'it's really up to you Ella'.
Izzie will giggle or tell me to go for it. Or, she'll adopt her very rare tender mode where she wants only the best for me. The last time I saw it was on Monday evening when she came over to apologise and really listen to me. The time before that was eight months ago. I don't want to go into all that just now though.
If she's in that mood, which is unlikely, she'd just want me to be careful.
But I'm already being careful! So . . . oh I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to read Slaughterhouse Five and pray that I fall asleep soon.
Only of course my Mum's not my best friend. I love my Mum very much, certainly not the most in the world of course - that position belongs to my Dad. Besides, I'd rather hang out with Izzie and Bridget. Or Marcus.
Besides, if I ever were to tell My Mum what was bothering me, she'd hit the roof. So no, I don't think I'll sharing anything just yet.
"I was held up the other night so Will offered to get back to keep an eye on the house."
"Yes I know. He said that."
So it's 'Will' now is it? OK that's hardly incriminating. Or particularly enlightening. I never say Ms Valentine or Ms Evans, it's always Izzie and Bridget.
I find it really sexy when guys call you by your last name. I wonder if Marcus knows my last name? He either seems to say 'kid' or 'babe'. Oh Jesus, he does know my first name right?!
"I just wanted to be certain you knew that. I know how overactive teenage girls minds can be."
"What?"
"Oh you know what I mean.
"Not really."
My Mum sighs heavily and is a lick away from rolling her eyes. "For heaven's sake Ella, I merely meant that people can get the wrong idea of the stick, there's no need to be silly."
"I'm not being silly."
I'm really not. I'm far too tired to be anything other than entirely co-operative. Honestly!
"Are you raising your voice?"
"No?"
"That's it - get upstairs. Now!"
I rise and leave. I'm inside my room when I start silently dancing. Because now that she's sent me to my room I don't have to eat her stupid take away!
Oh glory of glories! What did I do to deserve this punishment? Did heaven finally get a hold of my prayers? Praise the Lord or Jesus or the tooth fairy and anybody else up there!
*
It is boring though. I read for a while, then fling the book down in annoyance and then pick it up again because there's nothing else to do. I can't stand not having my phone. Not having a phone when you've been sent to your room rather like being marooned. Only one more day until Marcus gets it back though!
I wish I could talk to him. I hope he's not angry with me for running out of the house last night without even saying good bye. I couldn't though! I had to take advantage of the fact he was out of the room so I could think straight.
He didn't give me any alternative really. What with all the carressing and the kissing and the - well, nothing else happened but that wasn't for lack of trying on his part . . . I couldn't think straight. And once I could e.g. once Marcus was out of the room, I got it into my head that I had to leave.
Don't get me wrong, sex with Marcus would be great. But then there's all that other stuff to consider. Is Marcus the right boy to lose my virginity to? Where do I get shaving cream from? Where should I hide it from my Mum? Would I be happy having sex with someone I wasn't going out with.
I wish I could be more like Izzie sometimes and just do things. I have to think everything through really carefully but Izzie isn't like that. She must have some kind of thought process but if she comes across a problem she either solves it right away or steams on through in the hope that it will fix itself.
When I have a problem, I have to sit beside it and have a good think. I suppose there are worst qualities to have - other than being cautious I mean. But still . . .
I really want to talk to Bridget and Izzie about all this. But I think Bridget will have something to say about my wanting to sleep with someone I'm not going out with. Either that or she'll just be thinking things and say 'it's really up to you Ella'.
Izzie will giggle or tell me to go for it. Or, she'll adopt her very rare tender mode where she wants only the best for me. The last time I saw it was on Monday evening when she came over to apologise and really listen to me. The time before that was eight months ago. I don't want to go into all that just now though.
If she's in that mood, which is unlikely, she'd just want me to be careful.
But I'm already being careful! So . . . oh I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to read Slaughterhouse Five and pray that I fall asleep soon.
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Thanks for reading!