Writing Words To The Music In Her Head

I had put on my phones and sat back in the seat in the bus.
Tré was 'sick' today, at least he told dad so. I could see that he had other things in mind than lying in his bed all day, but I didn't question him about it. I had to wait until tonight, because if I talked to him this morning, dad would get suspicious and Tré's plans would be officially destroyed.

Me and Tré looked after each other, even when we did stupid things.

I didn't have a car license, because I simply didn't care enough to get one. I couldn't imagine myself behind the wheel, going wherever. It felt too weird, I was still a somewhat 'kid' after all.
But lately I had another kid on my mind, so today I had to take the bus to School.

Even though Mike came to visit us nearly every day, because he and Tré had become such good friends, I couldn't think about Mike in that way anymore. Of course he was charming, funny and intelligent. But there was something about him that was missing, that someone else had.
That someone I saw in the CD-store the other day.

I don't know what it was about him – he haunted my dreams and my thoughts. Still I couldn't think of where I recognized him from. In my dreams, he said that little line 'it's okay', over and over again. What was the meaning of dreams like that? They only annoyed me, except that I could actually get to see his face in my dreams. That exact, indifferent facial expression. He had looked a little amused too, with that small smirk playing on his lips.

It was like he was teasing me in my dreams.

I almost jumped out of my seat when I realized that I had missed my stop.
How the hell did I do that? Stupid, stupid, stupid Sarah!

I had to wait until the next stop before I could go of the bus.

Whenever I thought about him, I kind off just drifted away into my own little world. I thought of different conversations we could have, how the kisses we shared would taste... I was jumping ahead of something that would never happen.
I knew I had to settle for Mike, and I was... fine with that. I liked Mike. He was an alright dude, and I really liked him. He was so good for Tré too, it was amazing how he had changed since that show and it was only two weeks ago.
The only thing he needed to do now was to show our father who he really was.

For some reason, I still thought that a relationship with Mike wouldn't possibly be as amazing as one with that guy... If I only knew his name, I would be so happy. Then my fantasies would be a lot more fun.

As I walked to my School, I thought about what his name could be. I decided he looked like a 'Will'. Not really a typical Will, but then again he wasn't that typical in anything else, so why would he be a typical Will?

Will and Sarah. We would fit so good together.

*

When I finally made it to School, I wondered why I hadn't seen him here. He was obviously my age, and so was Mike. Mike said that he and his friend Billie had dropped out a couple of years ago, with only music in their minds. Was Will like that too, or did he just go to some other School?

Yeah right... This was the only School around here. I was so confused.

*

The teacher wasn't that harsh about my delay, but he got really pissed off when I didn't pay attention in his class. He kept tell me to 'wake up' and remind me off that I wasn't at home and 'couldn't act however I wanted'. What did he mean by that, anyway? I couldn't help that his lesson was so boring that I struggled not to fall asleep.

Fall asleep.

That was what I mostly wanted by that point. Sleep and dream about Will. He'd say 'it's okay' and smile. I would smile back this time.

I wondered if he was dreaming about me too.

*

After School, I went to the library.
I was in need of a book about World War 2,. and I really wanted all the facts I could get because I wanted a good grade.
I grinned to myself. I'd just end up in the basement with Tré and Mike anyway... But it was good to have a small look inside a book like that, wasn't it?

I opened the door to the library and looked around. Barely anyone was there, but then again, who went to the library anyway? No one ever read for fun anymore.
The librarian gave me a dirty look, but I chose to ignore her. Dirty looks wasn't anything I really cared about, and I was surprised that I even noticed her staring. I seemed to close things like that off and turn the other way. It was just pure instinct.
Sometimes when me and Tré walked around in town, Tré would nudge me in the side with his elbow and motion to a couple of jocks that glared at us. He always noticed stuff like that. It was like he was looking for trouble or something, or maybe he was just more concentrated on the world outside his head.

While I was in my own thoughts (as usual), someone ran straight into me and I was thrown right at on my back.
I immediately stood up and then I just stared.

“I'm so sorry”, 'Will' said hurriedly. “I...”
I stared.
“It's okay”, I just answered, and he grinned at me.

We were just quiet for a long time. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt today, and a pair of blue jeans. His hair was a yellow mess like the time I'd seen before, and he was wearing a pick card in a chain around his neck. It looked so good on him.

In my observation on his looks a thought struck me.

He could see me too, which meant that he was making his own opinion about my looks.

Major paranoia.