In The Shadows Where We Lie

Kat's POV
April 22, 2006

I crawled in through my window before closing it and waving goodbye to Seth. Sorrow filled me as I watched him walk away.
Somehow I felt I disappointed him tonight, or hurt him. I know he knew I was lying when I said I was in the bathroom. Could he have been suspicious when I stopped him from fighting Kradence?
Speaking of Kradence, why the hell had he shown up like that in the park tonight? Had he followed us, or was it coincidence? Knowing him, he definitley followed us.
I wasn't left much time to wonder by myself, before I was able to ask him face to face.
Kradence, being the sly vampire that he is, was suddenly standing before me in my room, causing me to almost shriek.

"Jesus! You scared me!"

"Actually, it's Kradence. But you can call me Jesus if you like." He grinned. I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly. He immediatley supsected something.
"What's wrong? What'd I do? Look I can knock next time if you want, it's just..."

"No, no, you didn't do anything. I just...You followed us tonight didn't you?"

He grinned again. "Sorry. It's fun messing with Seth. And I kinda wish you hadn't held him back. I would've liked to give him a beating. It made me sick seeing him on you like that." He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"You know he'd feel the same way if he saw us."

"So? Oh I forgot, he is your little boyfriend. I guess it's only right that you stick up for him." He hissed, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, he is my boyfriend! And I shouldn't be doing this to him. God, this is all so wrong!" I held my head in my hands.

Kradence was quiet, just looking at me.
"What are you saying? Being with me is wrong? Wow, Kat. If you felt that way why didn't you just say so."
Damn him and his guilt trip. "Do you not want me around anymore?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Damnit, I'm just so frustrated. I mean, when you came to me that first night in the club, I was ecstatic because..." I started, but looked away shyly, somewhat ashamed of the feelings I felt.

"Because...?" He lifted my face to look at him. There in his eyes, I saw what I wanted, and somehow all of my fearful feelings from before had vanished.

"Because I really liked you." I looked away and shook my head, trying to clear it. "But, I was with Seth. I am with Seth! And things became so complicated. There's the fact that you both hate each other for reasons unknown to me; The fact that I have to sneak around behind his back just to see you, which I know is hurting him in the process! And, the fact that I am in love...with both of you." I barely whispered the last part, turning to look at him. He just stood there smiling. A smile that sent shivers down my spine and frustrated me all at the same time.
"I just don't know what to do." I whispered, more to myself than to him.

He exhaled loudly, then appeared at my side. He grabbed my hand, examining my fingers almost lovingly.
"You will make the right choice eventually. Soon, your worries will be gone, and you'll be happy, Love. Just be patient for a little bit longer. Things will work out, I promise."
I opened my mouth to question him, how could he promise such a thing? But his finger came down over my lips, shushing me.
"Just be patient." He whispered. He kissed me softly, then disappeared, leaving a ghostly reminder of his lips on mine.

I closed my eyes and sighed, suddenly feeling so tired. I lay down in my bed and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
_________
The next night

I went over to Seth's house to watch a movie with him. It was some gory horror film, my favorite kind, but I just couldn't stay focused. My thoughts were too jumbled.
How could I do this to Seth? He has been hurt enough. Would I be able to live with myself if I left him for Kradence? He is always showing me how much he loves me, and god, I love him too! So much it hurts. But when I'm with Kradence, things are so much different. He and Seth aren't totally different, but there's just something about Kradence that completely draws me in. But, I barely know him! I met him randomly one night in a bar I snuck into, and since then I only see him sometimes at different clubs, or when he randomly shows up at my house. I've been with Seth for over a year now, can I really even think about leaving him for another vampire? One who is his complete enemy; One who he had warned me about from the beginning? We are already so close to that sacred bond, when I would become a vampire and forever be Seth's. But the temptation to be Kradence's is almost to much.

"Kat. Hello! Kat? Hey!" I was snapped out of my thoughts by Seth clapping in my face. I didn't even realize the movie was over.

"What? Oh, sorry. Movie over already?"
He looked at me oddly.

"Yeah, for like five minutes. You didn't like it? You seemed kind of distracted."

"No, I just...got a lot on my mind." I stuttered.

"Babe, are you okay? You've been acting weird lately. Is something wrong?" He asked innocently. He had no idea what was going on. Would I ever tell him? No, of course I couldn't. He can't know I'm seeing Kradence behind his back. It would crush him. I know it hurts Kradence to see me with Seth, but hey, I was with Seth first. Besides, Kradence said I would make a choice soon and that things would be okay, but how soon? How much longer do I have to keep lying and hurting them both?

I smiled at him. "I'm fine." I lied. "Hey, I'm really tired. I think I'll head home." It was really early in the morning, like around 3:00 am, but I actually wasn't tired. I just wanted to avoid more of Seth's questions. I love him, I really do, but it's easier not to lie to him if I'm not around him.

His face dropped. "Oh. Okay. Well, you want me to walk you home?"

"No, no! It's okay, I'll be fine." I smiled uneasily. He just nodded his head. He hugged me, and I kissed him goodbye, a kiss that seemed to be filled with more love and sorrow than I ever felt.

"Call me, okay?" He looked sad.

"Of course."

I stepped out into the cool night air, breathing in deeply. My house was a couple of miles away from Seth's, but I knew a few shortcuts. I had done this so many times that I never really worried about walking alone in the dark. My mind was still racing, so much that I didn't hear the steps being taken behind me. I didn't detect anyone following me or even really pay attention, until a deep, familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hey Baby."