A Thousand Reasons Why I Can't Have You

*Gerards POV*

I rolled over stretching, there's nothing like a large double bed to sleep on. I wonder where Triston is? Last night was incredible. I better be careful getting up and around.

If I lay here all day then Steve will chuck me out, mind due if I don't move Triston will pull me out, of this house. A light chuckle passed my lips making me smile. I haven't felt this good in months, maybe a drunk fuck with Triston was all I needed. I glance at the door and decide that my boyfriend deserved a thankyou present for his behaviour. So the covers were thrown lazily on the floor as I collected some of the garments scattered about the room.

Twenty minutes later and with my slow pace I've managed to get down the stairs. The kitchen looms straight ahead and there he is, the man who solves my problems. He's sitting at the table with a hot drink, coffee, by that rich thick addictive smell. I slide my hand up his back and plaster a great big kiss on his face when I reach him. He smiles at me.

" Well hello, sugar, how we feeling today? " I smirked at his ordinary brilliance.

" Much better thanks to you. " He smiled and kissed my lips.

" I'm glad your resting made you feel better but honestly you shouldn't drink that much. " Jesus, won't he ever drop that line. I'm not a kid and I want to drink that much. Maybe a walk will clear my head even if it doesn't it will get me away from pebble head. Hmm, I should go home soon, I've got more alcohol there to annoy Triston with.

" It's not a problem, I just like to drink, anyway I'll be back later I'm going for a walk. " I walk as fast as I can out of Steve's house and change direction towards the park.

*Franks POV*

Sitting on Mikey's bed whilst he's looking out the window concerned is definately not something that I thought I'd be doing. Well at least not after a week at school. The added bonus of a painful pelvis isn't reasuring.

As soon as we were in Mikey's house, Mikey started asking questions, rather specific ones too. He was pulling me up the stairs when he asked how many more glasses I'd drunk after the eight I replied, " Maybe ten. " which freaked him out.

His whole 'Why does it hurt' kind of questions stopped. He told me out right that he thought I had a bladder problem or an alcohol damaged liver or kidney.

" After one time? " I didn't think so, it had only been one night of wreckless drinking. Not that he knew that. I had gone on to explain that through the night some blond haired guy had looked after me. I failed to mention what we had got up to later because, well, I've only known Mikey a week.

The troubling thing is that by his facial expression I think he knew what happened. We've sat in silence since. Him staring awkwardly into space, me, just sitting (relaxing) from the pain.

" What was this blond haired kid like? " Mikey suddenly said making me jump and gasp.

" What?! " I asked quickly, going slightly red in the face making me want to die of embarrassment.

" What did he look like, you know... tall, fat, lean, shabby. " I sighed relieved. Then thought back to what I remembered.

" I think he had brown eyes, long blond hair, err a small frame but definately taller than me. " Oh and his nose was small and smooth, his dick was big and hard, I didn't just think that or I'm still drunk.

" Frank, no offense but it's not hard being taller than you. " He gave me a quick cheeky smile to lighten the mood before returning his gaze to the world outside. He was thinking, that was unmistakenable.

Mikey asked me when I'd like to go home or whether I'd like to stay the night because of my physical condition. It was obvious that going home would raise too many questions, so I had only one other option. I rang my mum who asked me whether I had fun last night, meeting Mikey's friends. Sitting on a bed with a phone pressed against my ear I shrugged stupidly and said, " Alright, can I stay round Mikey's another night? ... Cheers. Bye. " One of the shortest and bluntest calls I'd ever made. Mikey laughed at my perfeticness, I wanted to shove him but I really couldn't move.

" Right, I'm going to talk to my mum about you staying over, stay here. " He looked at me as he walked towards the door and laughed.

" Yeah, ha ha very funny. " My body twists and a sharp intake of breath is what silences me from an insult back.

" Not so tough now. " Mikey's silohette vanishes behind the door but his stupid laughter drifts back through the hall.

*Gerards POV*

I didn't think about who would be at the park, which is stupid but what ever. No-one will notice me.

I walk to a nearby tree and watch the twenty, three to five year olds run around.

There too much hassle with all that energy, something really uncontrolable.

The tree rests neatly behind me and I watch the world in motion. A boy falls over in the playground by the monkey bars, I watch him run to his nearby guardian. His little voice crying loudly, " Grandma! " The woman opens her arms, catches him, picks him up to see what's wrong. He shows her his grazed knees and arms, when she see's them, she puts him down and tells him as she reaches into her bag.

" If you're a good little boy and don't cry, I'll buy you an ice-cream. " She pulls a wipe out of her bag and cleans his arms and knees. I watch the expression on his little face change as the stinging sensation kicks in. When she had finished she asks him. " Is that better? " He nodds. " You've been a very good boy, shall we get your ice-cream now? " His face lights up as he screams, " Yay! Grandma I love you. " Well he tries to say at least.

" I love you too little one. " She holds his hand gently as they leave the park and a tear rolls down my face.

My grandma told me that she wouldn't leave me but she's gone. It doesn't matter what she told you kid, love ha, love won't bring her back.

I slide down the tree to the base where my arse meets the ground, I shuffle until I'm comfortable. I think of Triston and what he wants of me, it's nothing more than who I used to be but I can't be that anymore, too much has changed.